After my panic attack, and Dean`s apology cookie, we spend a long weekend just hanging out and getting to know one another. To everyone`s surprise, it was John`s suggestion. He said that I need to trust Sam and Dean before I can hunt with them, that it would be dangerous for me to be trying to react to things that we hunt if I`m also busy watching Sam and Dean. I`m actually getting along with them much better than I thought I would. They seem to be good people, like John and Bobby are. Maybe that`s just the personality of hunters.
Dean is pretty oblivious to it, but after three hours of watching movies and joking around together, Sam brings it up.
"You keep checking that our dad is still there," he comments. John is sitting at the kitchen table doing research. I can just see his right shoulder, and I have been periodically checking to make sure that he is still there. I can`t help it. As much as I`ve been enjoying spending time with the two men, my trust issues aren`t likely to disappear over one fun day.
"I`m sorry. It`s not anything personal, I just have a hard time trusting people."
He nods, "Can I ask why?"
Dean laughs awkwardly, says he`s going to get a beer, and then disappears into the kitchen. I use the opportunity to dodge the question; I tell Sam that I need one too, and that I`ll get him one, then quickly leave the living room.
"Got out before the chick-flick moment?" Dean asks and hands me a beer.
"Yep. When do you think it`ll be safe to go back in there?"
"Oh don`t worry sweetheart, I`ll protect you from Sam-antha," he says and winks at me. I laugh, but I notice John shake is head and then glare at Dean. I don`t know if its because of his protectiveness over me, or the 'Samantha' comment. I`m guessing it`s both.
"Ok, I`m ready when you are," I look up at Dean. He laughs and leads the way back into the living room. Sam opens his mouth to say something, but Dean cuts him off before he can even begin.
"No chick-flick moments… bitch."
Sam rolls his eyes, "Jerk." But he changes the subject. "There`s a lake just down the road. I haven`t been swimming in a while…"
I glance back to the kitchen where John is, "Umm… I guess that`d be fun. I`ll ask John if he wants to come."
Dean lets out a little frustrated sigh, but doesn`t say anything. Ever since he jump-started my panic attack he`s been trying really hard to gain my trust. I appreciate the effort, and I`m really trying to get to the point where I trust him, but I`m not there yet. Unfortunately, I`m having an even harder time feeling comfortable with Sam, and it almost seems like it`s hurting his feelings. Every time John and Dean leave just the two of us alone in a room together, I immediately come up with some excuse to leave. I guess I just haven`t bonded with him as much as I have with Dean. He`s a little bit too intense all of the time, constantly trying to get me to talk to him about personal things, and its made it impossible to get that relaxed, comfortable feeling that I have with John when I`m around him.
I walk into the kitchen, and John must`ve overheard the conversation in the living room, because he`s putting his research into folders and says before I can even ask the question, "Yeah, I`ll come if you need me to."
"Thank you," I mumble. It`s a little bit embarrassing. Usually when I`m uncomfortable I just leave rather than ask for someone`s help, but after I tried to climb out of the window, John made me promise to stay, and to 'make an effort,' and I don`t want to break a promise to John.
Half an hour later we`re all at the lake. I can`t help but notice how muscular all three Winchesters are, and how attractive all three are too. I`m in a bikini that a friend, who Bobby basically forced me to go shopping with to 'socialize,' insisted that I just had to buy because it looked so good. I wish I had something else, because it`s more than a little revealing. I`ve never actually worn it before, because I haven`t really ever gone swimming.
"Come on in!" Sam calls when he notices that I`m standing at the edge of the lake and just putting my feet in. I hear a huge splash and see that John jumped in. Dean`s standing next to me.
"What are we waiting for?" he asks.
"Umm… I actually don`t really know how to swim."
"Really?" he looks a little shocked, but his usual grin is back in place in a second. "Well I can teach you… You might have to let me touch you though."
I think about it for a moment, and decide that I`m ok with that. I`m starting to trust Dean a little bit more, and John will be nearby.
"Ok, just don`t let me drown."
He laughs, "Don`t worry sweetheart, I won`t. Come on, let`s go out a little bit, ok?"
I nod and walk out with him until the water is up to my chin. He doesn`t seem to notice because its only up to his chest, so I grab his hand. He looks totally shocked at the contact, and turns to see what`s wrong.
"Oh," he says with a laugh, "Ok, just hold on and we`ll go out a little further." He pulls the hand that he`s still holding around his neck and puts an arm around my waist. "Is this ok?" he asks uncertainly.
I put my other arm around his neck and nod, "Yeah, just don`t you dare drop me."
"Don`t worry, I gotcha." He walks out a little bit further, and then starts treading water until we get out to Sam and John, who both look shocked to see us holding on to each other. John looks happy to see that I`m starting to feel more comfortable, but Sam looks kind of hurt.
Dean removes the arm around my waist, and moves my arms from around his neck so that he`s only holding on to my hands.
"Dean!" I yell at him in a bit of a panic.
He smiles, "Just trust me, ok?"
"I`m right here too," John adds quietly.
We spend some time with Dean having me kick while I hold his hands. Once I`ve got that down, he puts his hands under my stomach and has me swim like that. I don`t notice that he`s stopped holding me until I get over to John and turn to see Dean a few feet away. I grab onto John, since I haven`t learned to tread water yet. I`m very excited, and the four of us swim out a little bit further. I`m not exactly a strong swimmer yet, so I eventually have to grab on to John again.
"Glad to see you`re feeling better around Dean," he whispers into my ear. Before I can say anything Dean is next to us.
"Not bad sweetheart," he grins, until he catches the dangerous look that John is giving him.