AUTHOR'S NOTE: I don't own M*A*S*H or any of the characters within the show.

B.J. was dancing with his wife. He held Peg, who was wearing a beautiful green dress, and together they danced throughout Pre-Op and into OR. He continued to twirl her around until he caught Col. Potter looking at him with a stern look while holding a surgical instrument. B.J. then took the surgical instrument, starting operating, and watched his wife walk out of the OR with several handsome men.

Then he woke up.

B.J. breathed a sigh a relief as soon as he realized what had happened: he had dreamed about Peg and the OR yet again. He had been having this dream for weeks, and was able to handle it. After all, this dream was at least better than the other ones he had been having lately.

Before he started thinking about the other dreams he had been having, he turned over and went back to sleep. As soon as he closed his eyes, the dream started again. He and Peg continued to dance throughout the 4077, until Col. Potter handed him the surgical instrument. He started surgery, and expected the men to come out and greet his wife. Except this time they didn't.

Instead Peg, who was suddenly holding Erin in her arms, looked at B.J. with a stoic look and told him: "And I'm taking my daughter with me." He then watched her slam the door to the OR as she left with Erin. B.J. called out to her, but it was too late.

He woke up again, this time clearly frightened. He reached over to Peg's side of the bed. "Peg, I've –" That's when he remembered that Peg wasn't there. His life was the nightmare.

"Well, I'm not going to get any sleep now." B.J. muttered to himself as he sat up in bed, still shaking from the dream he'd had. He decided to walk out into the living room, and as he sat down on the couch he started to think.

"What's happening to me?" he asked himself in a confused and panicked tone of voice.

B.J. couldn't process what had happened the last few months. The first few weeks home had been fantastic, everything he had dreamed about while he was at the 4077. However, shortly afterwards he had started trying to mentally process everything that had happened to him while he was in Korea. That was when all of his problems started.

Despite the fact that so much good had happened in Korea, all B.J. could think about were the wounded. He continually pictured their bodies coming into OR, lying the table, and then being shipped back out, only to return until they eventually were killed or sent home. He didn't think about his best friend Hawkeye or the many lives he had saved: all he could think about were the bodies.

He desperately wanted to reach out to Peg. But even when he looked at her, the bodies still remained in his mind. In her face he saw the wounded Korean women and the wives whose young husbands he couldn't save. He couldn't even see Erin the same way he used to: all he saw in his daughter was the face of countless Korean orphans, the same ones whose parents were killed by the men he had operated on while at the 4077. He knew that Peg would never understand what was going on in his mind. Besides, she was still upset at the fact that he hadn't been able to return to work.

So he kept his thoughts to himself.

He wanted to interact with his family. He wanted to find a job, enjoy playing with Erin, and spend time with his precious wife. But it took all of his efforts just to keep the thoughts of the bodies away. He had to work hard in order to keep the continuing thoughts out of his mind. He had to refuse to talk about or even think about anything that had happened while he was at M*A*S*H. And even though this caused him to withdraw from the ones he loved, it eventually started to work. For a short while, he stopped thinking about the bodies.

Until the nightmares came along.

It started with simple nightmares, ones he had experienced at the 4077 before. But they only got worse, involving Peg and Erin, the various people at the 4077, and the bodies: always the bodies. He tried to ignore the nightmares, but he couldn't make them go away like he could do with his thoughts during the day. No matter what he did, they continued to get worse and worse. Eventually it got to where he wasn't getting any sleep at all, and he had to stop looking for jobs during the day while Peg was at work. But he couldn't tell her about any of this. After all, she was already disappointed at the fact that he still hadn't been able to find work. So he tried to act like everything was ok.

Of course Peg realized that something was wrong. He could see her crushed spirit and her slowly-breaking heart as she desperately tried to figure out what was going on. As much as he wanted to make everything better, he couldn't. After all, it took all of his energy to just survive the nightmares.

The nightmares scared him, and the problems they were causing with his family scared him even more. And it was all because of the war in Korea. In fact, he had built up such a hatred for the war and for the nightmares that it started to spill out into his actions. When he wasn't exhausted from the nightmares, he was angry.

That was the reason he had lashed out on Peg the other night. He'd had a particularly rough day dealing with the nightmares and thoughts of the bodies. Then he saw the box of his things from Korea. Naturally, he was so angry at the mere existence of the box that he decided to take it out on his wife the minute she got home. At least it had made sense in his mind.

Until he reached out to slap her.

As soon as he had seen her shocked expression and his hand so near her face, he had wondered what he was doing. Now it was a couple of days later and he was still wondering why he'd almost slapped her. He got up off the couch and walked over to their wedding photo that was hanging on the wall. Except instead of seeing her happy smiling face, all he could picture was the look of fear she'd had when he had reached out to hit her.

"I'm sorry, Peg." He muttered to himself. "I don't know what I was thinking. I must be losing my mind. And I guess I'm losing you too."

The fact that Peg had left crushed him. After all, he loved her more than anything else on earth. He always had. Except lately, he hadn't been very good at showing it. It was all because of the life-consuming nightmares. And those were because of the war.

"STUPID WAR!" He yelled out as he turned around, desperate to throw something, or do anything that would release the anger he felt built up inside of him. But there was nothing to throw…nothing except the picture hanging on the wall. And since his marriage had already been destroyed enough by his anger, he figured the last thing he needed was to throw that across the room.

"I just need to go back to sleep." He muttered to himself as he headed towards his bedroom. His wife and child had already left him: he couldn't lose control over his thoughts as well. He had to fall asleep before the bodies in his mind returned, and hope that the nightmares were nothing he couldn't handle. He went in their bedroom and laid down on the bed, hoping to enjoy peaceful, restful, sleep. Instead, he endured the worst nightmare he'd had thus far.

It started out as it always did: him and Peg dancing though the M*A*S*H unit. And it continued like it had the last time, where Peg took Erin and slammed the door to OR. This broke B.J.'s heart, but he had bodies to deal with. He watched the onslaught of people coming into OR, and performed surgery on patient after patient after patient. He was performing surgery on a small Korean child, and looked at his nurse to ask for an instrument. But when he looked back, he was performing surgery on Erin.

It only got worse from there. Even after he saved his daughter, the bodies kept coming. Suddenly, he was operating on Peg. After that, he was operating on the picture from their wedding day, almost as if he was trying to repair their marriage. But the patient died. Then Winchester called out to him, asking him what kind of a surgeon he was that let his patients die. He kept operating, hoping to not lose another one.

The next patient to come in was Peg again. Except, this time she was clearly wounded. Unlike the other bodies that had been wounded by military fire, however, it appeared that she had been beat severely. He was about to start operating on her, when Col. Potter approached him with fire in his eyes.

"Hunnicutt, I can't let you operate on her!" Potter yelled. "You caused this!"

"No, it wasn't…I didn't mean…" B.J. tried to state in self-defense, but before he could, Hawkeye came over.

"I'll finish for him." Hawkeye said as he shoved B.J. aside and started to operate. "I can't believe you, Beej. I always thought you were a devoted family man. How could you do this to your wife?!"

B.J. was about to explain that he didn't know what was going on when he suddenly woke up. Or at least he thought he had. He was sitting in his bed for a second, but suddenly he was at the 4077 again. It was during a heavy onslaught of casualties. As he was working, he could hear Hawkeye's banter, Charles' complaints, Margaret's protests and Potter's attempts to quiet the place down. B.J. continued to work, but he simply couldn't focus. He was in such a panic because the patient on the table was critical. He tried his best, but he lost the patient.

Then he was back in his bedroom.

He knew he hadn't been asleep, so what had just happened couldn't be considered a nightmare. It had felt so real. He could have sworn he was back at the 4077. He suddenly realized that he must have had a flashback. As if the thoughts and nightmares weren't bad enough, it seemed as if he was going to have to deal with flashbacks too.

Unsure of what else to do, he called out for his family. "Peg? Erin? PEG!" he yelled into the night. "I…need…you…" he whispered quietly. However, he realized that they were gone, and that most likely they weren't coming back. With a shudder, he curled up in the fetal position and began to weep, unsure of what he was going to do or how he was going to handle these continuing problems.

Because the truth was, he didn't know how much longer he could keep going like this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello again readers! I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. This chapter allows us to take a look at what exactly is causing B.J. to behave like he is. B.J.'s first dream in this chapter is a description of the dream B.J. had in the episode "Dreams" (S8, E22). The next chapter will go back to Peg's perspective, and it's one you definitely won't want to miss.

I also have a couple quick notes about the last chapter. I had one reader point out that Peg's maiden name was Hayden, not Hadden. I put it as Hadden because that is what the M*A*S*H Wikipedia forum says it is. I did read on another page that it is Hayden, but since they don't spell it out in the show, I'm not sure which source to go with. I think I'll leave it as the wiki says it is, but if you have a conflicting source let me know and I may go in and change it. Also, I made a couple of continuity changes in the third chapter regarding the mode of transportation (changed from plane to train) and nomenclature in the 1950's (changed from Ms. to Miss). Thank you to the readers who pointed these all out to me. I do try to keep the story in line with both the show and the time period, but I do make mistakes. I appreciate you helping me to build a stronger story.

One more quick point. I did have to delete some guest reviews because they had possible spoilers for the upcoming plotline of the story. I was sad to do so because I love all of your reviews! The only reason I deleted them is so the storyline would not be spoiled for others. If you want to discuss what you think is coming up in the story, feel free to PM me. Just try to keep your reviews spoiler-free so that all readers can enjoy the story with surprise.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Be sure to let me know of any compliments, constructive criticisms, and questions you may have. And if you enjoy my stories, feel free to enjoy the other M*A*S*H (or any other) stories that I have posted.