Sixteen

Tonight is my first night in a bed. I have been in the safe house with Missus Tenenbaum for ten days and she says it is time for me to learn to sleep in a bed like real girls sleep in. I am a real girl now. That means I'm not a Little Sister anymore. Missus Tenenbaum says that Little Sisters are real girls who got very sick and need to be helped. I don't think she's right. We need Little Sisters to help angels. I should be helping angels, too. Real girls aren't allowed to do that. I think it's because we're being punished, but I don't know what for.

Missus Tenenbaum writes everyone's name above their bed on a little card. She made one for me today and showed me how my name looks when you write it out. I think it looks nice. I like it a lot. I touch my card. I can't see it very well in the dark.

We do almost the same thing every day I have been here. We eat breakfast and then we play and then Missus Tenenbaum reads a story and we have lunch and we play until dinner and then we color and then we go to bed. She says tomorrow we will do something new, something I have never done before. Then she wouldn't let any of the other girls tell me what we were going to do. I hope it is a good thing.

Seventeen

Missus Tenenbaum's surprise is that we get to take a walk outside the safe house. She tells Emmeline, who has been here a long time, that she and I are going to go and get groceries for everybody and not to talk to anybody and not to stay out for a long time. Only the two of us get to go, and it makes me feel very special. We scurry from corner to corner so nobody sees us.

"Why are we doing this?" I ask.

"So we get some life skills," she says.

"What are life skills?"

"When you learn how to live with a family, like up on the surface," she says, and it looks like she is going to say more, but there is a thud and a loud groan and she freezes.

"Mr. Bubbles!" I shout, but she puts her hand over my mouth.

"Shh. Not all of the daddies are nice." She looks up at a hidey hole. "Let's go back through the vent. Hurry."

I climb up into the hidey hole, but she has some problems doing it so I pull her up. As we crawl through we run into a girl like us, except she is very pale and her eyes are glowing yellow. I recoil.

"Ew. What's wrong with your eyes?"

Emmeline pokes me. "We aren't s'posed to talk to anyone," she says in a loud whisper.

The girl doesn't seem to hear her. "I gots nothing!" she shouts. "No angels! See?"

Emmeline yanks me to the side and we crawl away, dropping down just outside the safe house so we can run back in. "I won't tell that you talked to someone," she says. "I promise."

"Thanks," I say, but I'm not sure why, and we head back inside.

Eighteen

Stacey gets to go meet her "forever family" in a week. She calls them that because she will get to be with them forever, or as long as she needs to. She says they are up on the surface. I ask Missus Tenenbaum and she says that is true. She tells me that sometimes a friend of hers comes down to Rapture and takes girls up to families and that this person is called a social worker. It's a big secret, though. A secret is something you're not supposed to tell anybody who doesn't already know.

Anyway, Stacey says she will get to meet them in a week and then stay with them forever and always. She's going to have something called parents, which means a daddy and a mommy, except the daddy is a person. Missus Tenenbaum says she makes sure all the mommies she picks are nice mommies. That makes me glad to hear. Once Stacey leaves, we will get a new girl in the safe house. That's because we will have an empty bed.

Nineteen

Sometimes Missus Tenenbaum goes into her office and sits there for a long time and we can't see her. Today she is sitting in there with a little stick in her hand. She brings the stick to her mouth and then takes it away and blows out a long stream of gray.

"What's she doing?" I ask, pointing her out to one of the other girls. Jamie smiles.

"Mama is a dragon," she announces.

"What's a dragon?"

"They're big and they breathe smoke and fire like she is."

"Oh." At least I understand this explanation. I have seen lots of smoke and fire. I know it is for roasting marshmallows, but I've never had any marshmallows. When Missus Tenenbaum comes out, I ask her about this and she pats me on the head.

"Food is expensive, little one," she says. "It costs much money."

"I know," I say, even though I don't really understand what money does. You need a lot of money for food. That is why we eat the same thing every day: bread with peanut butter for breakfast, bologna and mustard sandwiches for lunch, and beans from a can for dinner. I decide that the next time we go for a walk I will find some food. That will make everybody happy.

Twenty

Stacey doesn't stop talking about her new family even though she hasn't even met them yet. She has to go up to the surface to meet them and then we won't see her anymore. That will be on Thursday, so on Wednesday we are having a party for her. Today is Sunday. (Missus Tenenbaum showed me all the days of the week.)

I asked Missus Tenenbaum how long it will be until I go to my forever family, and she said probably a year or two. She got out the calendar and showed me how long a year is if each day is a little box. A year is a very long time. Missus Tenenbaum says that by then I will be a real girl and know how to do real-life things and how to live on the surface. I hope she is right. There are so many things to learn. I told her this and she patted my head and said that that is why it will take so long, but that I will get it eventually. I liked hearing that.