Brian inquired, "So who is this other guy? What about him makes him unattainable?"

Justin nearly choked on his coffee (for Justin, who was a night person, it was more like afternoon). When he managed to breathe again, he exclaimed, "What?"

Brian chuckled. "Unattainable…means impossible to attain…to get…" He pronounced the last two words with a smirking drawl.

Justin muttered, though his voice contained amusement, "Asshole. I know what it means. I was just surprised by the question. You didn't seem too interested in discussing feelings before."

Brian conceded, "In general, I'm not."

"So why the twenty questions?"

Labored sigh. "Two is hardly twenty."

Justin laughed and muttered "Asshole" again, but this time adding a "Fucking."

"I'm still waiting for an answer."

"Oh. Um…" Justin scrambled for something to say. He couldn't exactly be honest, tell Brian that it was he who was spoiling him for all other men. Or could he? Indirectly. Justin replied with the first name he could think of. "His name is Joe. He's…he's beautiful. Perfect."

Brian chuckled. "I'm gonna need a little more."

Justin licked his lips and replied slowly, softly, excitement prickling throughout his body, bringing waves of heat to the surface, "He's tall and lean. He has brown hair with touches of blond and red. His skin is sort of bronze colored. He's strong and kind of muscular, but not in an overdone way."

"Sounds hot."

Justin grinned broadly. "He most definitely is."

Tongue firmly planted in his cheek, Brian asked, "Is he packing?"

Justin giggled. But then answered with faux innocence, "I doubt he carries a gun."

Brian chuckled. "That's not what I meant, but I think you knew that. Just in case, let me make it plainer: Is his cock big?"

Justin knew it was silly (Brian wasn't looking at him, and he was hardly a virgin), but he colored and stammered a little. "Um…I haven't seen it, but from what I can tell, yes…and personality wise…"

"Who gives a fuck about his personality?"

"Um, I do. That's at least half the reason I like him so much."

Brian protested, "All you need to know is whether he's hot, has a big dick, and doesn't talk too much while you fuck him." After a very, very heavy sigh, he said, in a clipped voice, "Fine. Tell me about Romeo's personality."

"He's intelligent, funny, and a little brusque, but I think he feels deeply. (then in amusement) although I'm not sure how perceptive he is sometimes."

Brian quipped, "Well, as long as he can perceive where your dick is when he's sucking it, does it really matter?"

"Of course it does."

"See that's your problem. You shouldn't bother talking to tricks except to say, "Come on" and later, "Get the fuck out."

"Brian! You're terrible."

"I'm not trying to win a popularity contest."

"That's good, cause you'd lose, and badly."

"You seem to like me well enough."

Suddenly, Justin's chest felt tight. "Yeah, I really do."

"So…why don't you just go up to Joe and kiss him or offer him a blowjob?"

Justin shook his head frantically, even though no one could see him. "No. No fucking way!"

Brian drawled, "Why not? You have perfect cock-sucking lips. He'd be a fool to refuse. And after, who knows, maybe he'd take one look at your bubble butt and offer to shove his cock up it?"

"First, I'm not sure he'd be receptive to my advances, with my being…"

"A fatty?"

"Oh my God. You did not just say that!" Justin burst out laughing, though he was mortified, too. There went the hope that Brian hadn't noticed his belly at the restaurant. "And second, I don't want to just be a fuck to him."

"Look, I can probably help you get him to fuck you, but I don't know shit about relationships, and I don't want to."

Justin swallowed hard.

"As I said before, you have a nice ass and lips perfect for kissing or sucking dick…and you have an attractive face. And your eyes are an interesting blue."

Justin couldn't breathe. Part of it was the image that popped into his head of what Brian thought were perfect lips sucking Brian's dick and part of it was the fact that Brian had effectively complimented his eyes. Brian shook his head. When the hell had he noticed the color of Justin's eyes and why the fuck was he telling him about it? Brian pressed on quickly, hoping that his lesbianic slip would be forgotten. "But you're a fatty."

Justin couldn't help but be shocked (and a little hurt) at Brian's candor every time he said that.

Brian continued, "So we'll go to the gym. You'll lose weight. Problem solved. Well mostly. After that, we'll need to go shopping. Get you some decent clothes."

"Brian, there's no way I'm going to the gym with you!"

"Why the fuck not?"

"It would be humiliating, and not just for me."

Brian didn't bother telling Justin that he wouldn't have taken him to his regular gym.

"Is it too crazy to think he might actually like me as I am?"

Brian frowned and said nothing. Not for a solid minute. He was thinking. Then he asked, "Has he noticed you yet?"

Justin sighed. "No."

"Then maybe."

Justin smiled shyly. "Really?"

"Yeah, but you'd have to rope him in some way. You know, get him interested before he's seen you or at least your midsection."

"How do I do that?"

Brian admitted, "Well, you do have a sexy voice. How good are you at phone sex?"

Justin smiled nervously. "I don't know…"

"That can be learned. The harder part is getting him on the phone. I guess we could de-accentuate your midsection and accentuate everything else…take a picture…then create a profile for you. Does Mr. Right frequent any of the hookup sites?"

"Uh…I'm not sure."

"Well, I guess we could make profiles for you on all of them. But you'd need to be very specific about your description of what your dream man looks like, if you don't want to wade through a bunch of trolls."

"Okay. Then what?"

"When, if, he takes the bait, you give him your number before agreeing to meet him. Then you work your wiles on him with that sexy purr of yours (Justin's breath caught in his throat at that characterization of his voice), giving him the best orgasm of his life. Then, when you meet, he'll be more likely to hang around. Amazing orgasms are rare, and even rarer for people who aren't me. My guess is that he'll overlook your flaws if he thinks the sex is going to be amazing."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah."

"But how do I know if I'm good at phone sex?"

"I guess you could show me what you got."

Justin paled. "Oh God! I couldn't!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Wouldn't it be weird? You know because we're friends?"

"It doesn't have to be. Consider me an expert, like a doctor. Doctors don't get turned on when examining their patients."

Justin frowned. Then he sighed. He couldn't help but be hurt by how certain Brian was that Justin couldn't turn him on. But after a moment's hesitation (and contemplation), he smiled a little and said, "Good point. Let me give it a whirl." Justin was suddenly very excited. Maybe Brian's plan for "Joe" would work on him. Maybe he could get Brian hard….and then maybe, just maybe, Brian would desire him, fatty or no.