Note: Use of the term 'vasodilation' was inspired by the story 'scientific method' by 100demons.
PART IV: Tears of Pearls
Bruce woke up to the feeling of fingers in his hair. He gave a contented little hum, rolling to snuggle closer to the warm body he was partially wrapped around.
Wait.
Bruce cracked his eyes open and got a close up view of a few strands of dark hair and the underside of a breast. Fortunately (unfortunately?), it was a clothed breast.
Bruce sat up and scooted away, bunching his blankets in his lap so that Darcy wouldn't notice the tightening in his groin that was partly her proximity and partly the usual morning vasodilation of erectile tissue.
… Somehow, thinking in science terms didn't do anything to make seeing Darcy first thing in the morning any less sexy. Bruce needed to get a handle on this attraction to her before he did something stupid and unforgivable.
"Good morning, Doc," Darcy said, giving him a smile that was interrupted by a jaw cracking yawn.
"Good morning," Bruce echoed, befuddled and groping for his glasses. Darcy handed them to him.
"So I can see you're trying to figure out how you woke up all cuddled up to me, so I'm just going to admit to creeping on you. It's all part of my nefarious plan to steal your virtue."
Bruce snorted, startled into a laugh. "I'm afraid you're a little late for that."
"Damn!" Darcy snapped her fingers, making a show of being dismayed. "I should have realized. I mean, you do hang with Tony Stark. What's that even like, anyway? I mean..."
Speaking of Tony, as Darcy continued on at a ramble, Bruce started to get the feeling that Darcy had the same gift of chattering about anything and everything except whatever was bothering her. There was no pause for breath, and she was no longer even close to the original topic. So Bruce did the same thing he'd do to Tony.
He put an arm around Darcy's shoulders and quirked an eyebrow.
Darcy sighed.
"You know how we talked about my trigger being fear? Well I had nightmares. No big deal, but I kept almost hulking out and I could only calm down enough if I could see you, which is stupid and I don't know why, maybe because it convinced me I wasn't still you know, kidnapped or whatever... So I came out here and just kind of… stayed, so that I'd be able to see you as soon as I woke up."
Bruce's forehead wrinkled, his eyebrows pinching together as he gave Darcy a reassuring squeeze. "Do you want to sleep with me?"
If Darcy hadn't been dosed with the serum, if she wasn't weighed down with Bruce's poisoned blood, she'd be able to find comfort with a friend, or boyfriend. Bruce was a little ashamed to admit that he didn't know much about her life outside the labs. He'd tried to keep her at a distance, before. But now, well. It wouldn't be safe for anyone to be near her during a potentially triggering event. Bruce could comfort her. He could offer her this much. It was the least he could do.
Darcy leered at him. "Why Dr. Banner, I didn't know you felt that way."
Bruce went red all over when he realized how his offer could be taken. His first instinct was to play along, snap back with something smooth and suggestive, pretend it was a deliberate innuendo, but something about Darcy turned him back into a tongue-tied teenager, barely able to speak to a pretty girl. And she was vulnerable right now. And half his age. "N-not. I meant. Just until you have better control. Not sex, just so you'd be able to see me… Not that I wouldn't want to, you're very beautiful, I'm not saying that…"
Bruce trailed off, looking hopefully at the Avengers alarm hanging discreetly in a corner of the room. Now would be a really good time for an order to assemble.
Darcy was laughing, little giggling snorts that she tried to contain with her hands, before she gave up and laughed long and loud. Tears were streaming down her face. "Oh God, Doc. Bruce, you…" more laughter. "Your face…"
Bruce found himself smiling at her as she struggled to get it under control. It was good to see her more herself – Bruce was used to a Darcy who laughed and teased and danced through the lab to whatever music Tony was deafening them all with.
"It's okay, Doc," Darcy finally managed to say, patting his leg. "I know what you meant. And yes. That would be really great, if you would do that." And now she was shy, almost withdrawn.
Bruce put his hand over hers. "JARVIS has put together some reading on meditation techniques for you. I'm going to go up to the lab today. Tony and I are going to try to come up with some kind of material that will grow with us when we change, so that you don't…"
"End up flashing my great big green tits everywhere? Yeah, gotcha, Doc. I'll be fine here."
Bruce really shouldn't have been so turned on by Darcy saying 'tits.'
-l-
Darcy studied her meditation stuff for two hours before her concentration started flagging. Usually, this was the point in a study session where she'd crank up some rockin' tunes and dance around to get her blood going, let off some steam before she hit the books again.
But if she got her blood going, she might hulk out.
Somehow, the thought of never being able to rock out by herself in her apartment ever again brought Darcy's carefully constructed calm crashing down around her ears. She folded in on herself, shaking and gasping, hardly able to believe that the animal noises of despair that filled the room were coming from her.
Maybe it was a side effect of She Hulk. A crying superpower.
Her sobs turned into insane sounding laughter, and great, now she was crying and laughing at the same time. She was actually having hysterics, like a heroine from a period drama.
But she still wasn't turning any shade of green, so losing her fucking mind didn't count as a transformation trigger.
Good to know.
JARVIS kept asking if she was alright, and offering to get her things. He informed her that 'Mr. Stark' was in the process of acquiring a horse ranch for her, which JARVIS seemed to think would cheer Darcy up, but she mostly just found confusing. But it was Tony so... whatever.
It was seventeen minutes past one in the afternoon when she felt like she could stop acting like a basket case. She was startled by how much time had passed. She must have been staring into space for quite a while.
She hoped Bruce wouldn't be disappointed with how little reading she'd done. He'd probably been able to take all the meditation theory stuff in over the course of one afternoon and become a Zen master by the end of the week, with how smart he was.
Darcy really, really didn't want to disappoint Bruce. She wasn't blind, she knew she wasn't a genius and while most of the time she was awesome, sometimes she frustrated the mega minds around her with her inability to understand what the hell they were going on about. She didn't want being Hulk Jr. to be like that. Bruce was stuck, just as much as she was. He'd never asked for an apprentice monster, and he was too good a guy to send her packing just because she was slow on the uptake.
Darcy went back to her reading, resolved to slog through a little more.
-l-
She managed another hour of study before the quiet of the Hulk Apartment started to get to her. There was a reason she was a music junkie – quiet was unnerving, even more unnerving after hours hanging in a torture warehouse that was suffocatingly, ominously quiet.
"Hey JARVIS?" Darcy called.
"Yes, Miss Lewis?"
"Where's Bruce?"
"He is in lab three with Mr. Stark and Dr. Foster." JARVIS replied, his coolly accented voice filling the silence in a way that was like scratching an itch. "Would you like me to tell him you require his presence?"
Darcy stood up and stretched, firming her jaw. "No. No, Jarv, that's okay. I should go up and make sure they've all eaten today anyway."
Her job. She could do that. Get back to something normal, like following Jane around the lab with a plate of Pop-Tarts. And if anything wonky happened, Bruce would be there, and Tony could suit up, and everything would be fine. Darcy wasn't going to let this beat her.
She exited the Hulk Apartment, went through the Hulk Playground, and got in the (Hulk Sized) elevator.
-l-
Darcy made it as far as the hallway outside the science labs before something went wrong.
The few people that she saw were quick to scuttle out of her way, which was kind of annoying, but also a huge relief. At least if anything did happen, she wouldn't have to worry about anyone being stupid enough to get too close to her.
But of course, there was no accounting for Hawkeye.
She'd like to say that he surprised her by dropping out of an air vent, that what happened was unequivocally his fault. But in reality, all he did was walk up behind her and say, "Hey." He probably didn't mean anything by it. He certainly didn't mean to scare her, he just couldn't help his goddamn assassin stealth.
Darcy shrieked and jumped a foot in the air, her heart hammering. She could already feel herself greying out, could feel She Hulk pressing right behind her eyes, and she groped frantically at the meditation techniques she'd spent the morning reading about.
But then Clint's hand was on her shoulder, and Darcy flashed back to being grabbed outside her apartment, and there was no stopping it. He was so close! Too close! What if she hurt him? Oh God oh God oh God, she was going to kill him.
She saw Clint back away, and his lips form words, but at that point, she couldn't hear what they were.
-l-
She Hulk looked down at the little puny Arrow Man and snarled. He scared Darcy! Darcy should not be scared! And he made She Hulk come out where there was nothing to wear as a dress and She Hulk had to be naked, and that made Darcy scared too.
She Hulk growled at Arrow Man, and lunged at him, angry that he had made She Hulk do something that scared Darcy. She Hulk never scared Darcy! She Hulk protected Darcy!
Arrow Man was jumpy and squirmy. He rolled away from She Hulk, and jumped up when She Hulk tried to smash him with her hands. Frustrated, She Hulk roared. "Arrow Man stay still! She Hulk SMASH!"
"Don't think so, Darce," Arrow Man shouted back at her. She Hulk ripped a panel of metal off the wall next to her, and hurled it at Arrow Man. He jumped up, but this time She Hulk was ready. She Hulk was smart. She learned. When Arrow Man jumped up, She Hulk reached out and caught him between both hands, holding him up and away from the floor.
Arrow Man kicked his little puny feet. She Hulk laughed at him.
"Arrow Man not so tough without puny arrows."
"Mr. Barton," a calm voice came out of nowhere. British, whispered Darcy. Hugh Grant. Harry Potter. "Mr. Stark and the other Avengers are en route. They should arrive in fifty-four seconds."
"Who that?" She Hulk demanded, whirling in place. She couldn't smell anyone but Arrow Man. "Where you hiding, talky man?" Confused, she grunted, huffing air just in case she missed Hidey Talky's smell.
"That's JARVIS," Arrow Man said. She Hulk blinked at him. He was so little and light, she'd almost forgotten she was holding him. But now she remembered. She needed to smash Arrow Man so he wouldn't scare Darcy ever again.
But just when she was starting to squeeze, Little Glow Tony zoomed up and tapped her on the shoulder. He had even more glowies than before. His hands were glowy and his feet were glowy and his chest glowy was extra bright. She Hulk cooed at him. "Pretty pretty Little Glow Tony."
Arrow Man snorted, and She Hulk started to squeeze him again, smiling to herself when he made a little squeaky noise.
"Hey, hey, hey," Little Glow Tony said, holding up his hand glowies. "How about we let Clint down, huh? He can't really do anything to hurt you, so there's no need to squeeze him like that."
She Hulk snorted at Little Glow Tony. He was not very smart. She Hulk was smart. "Arrow Man scare Darcy," she told Little Glow Tony.
"All I did was walk up and say 'hey.' I swear!"
"Hey Hawk, maybe you should shut up," Little Glow Tony said when She Hulk started to squeeze Arrow Man again. There was a popping sound, and Arrow Man made a noise that hurt She Hulk's ears. She would smash him so he would stop making the noise.
"My Lady, why do you attack the Man of Hawk Eyes? Has he offered you insult?" a booming voice inquired. She Hulk knew that voice. She loved that voice.
She looked over her shoulder to see a big man with a hammer and a pretty red cape. She Hulk beamed. "Thor Thor! She Hulk smash!"
Thor Thor strode down the hallway, and She Hulk turned around so she could watch him. Thor Thor was very pretty. She Hulk liked him. He was not as strong as Man Hulk, but no one was as strong as Man Hulk. She Hulk liked strong.
"The Man of Hawk Eyes is not a fitting opponent for one such as yourself," Thor Thor was saying. "Perhaps you should let him go, and spar with me instead! I can give you a fight worth your abilities!"
Thor Thor smiled, but She Hulk blinked. Confused. Thor Thor wanted her to smash him? But Thor Thor didn't do anything. He didn't scare Darcy. Arrow Man scared Darcy. Thor Thor must not be very smart. She Hulk was smart. She Hulk was the smartest.
"No smash Thor Thor. Thor Thor She Hulk's friend. Arrow Man scare Darcy. Smash Arrow Man."
"Sometimes friends scare you without meaning to," Little Glow Tony was saying, but She Hulk wasn't paying attention. She Hulk could smell more people coming. Bruce was coming. And Bluecap. And Black Widow!
She Hulk sat down, still holding Arrow Man in her grip. She would ask Black Widow what to do. Black Widow was the only one smarter than She Hulk.
Bluecap and Black Widow came to stand by Thor Thor. Bruce came from the same direction as Little Glow Tony, but She Hulk ignored him. Bruce was puny and stupid and he wouldn't know what to do.
"Black Widow," She Hulk said.
Black Widow looked at Bluecap and Thor Thor, but she took a step in front of them. "Yes?"
"Black Widow smart. Black Widow smartest. Arrow Man scare Darcy. She Hulk smash Arrow Man. Right?"
Black Widow tilted her head, staring at She Hulk. She Hulk wanted to pet Black Widow's pretty red hair.
"Arrow Man is stupid," Black Widow said. "Arrow Man should have known better than to scare Darcy. But you don't need to smash him. He will learn. He won't scare Darcy again."
She Hulk huffed and thought about that. Man Hulk was not very smart, and Little Glow Tony was not very smart, and Thor Thor was not very smart, and Bruce was not very smart. Arrow Man was the most not very smart. She Hulk wasn't sure about Bluecap.
She Hulk was smart. Black Widow was smart.
"Men stupid," She Hulk said.
Black Widow smiled big at She Hulk. "Yes, they are. But they can be trained."
She Hulk nodded, then she looked at Arrow Man, holding him close to her face. "No scare Darcy! Bad Arrow Man!" She shook him once to make sure he understood, and then she dropped him on the floor.
He yelped, and Black Widow and Bruce went to poke at him.
"New house rule," Little Glow Tony babbled. "Make noise when you approach Darcy. I can get some collars with bells, if that'll help."
She Hulk felt sleepy.
-l-
When Darcy came to, someone was holding her. A deep sniff told her it was Bruce. No one else smelled like that kind of soap and the Science Sisters lab. That she knew of, anyway.
Man Hulk, She Hulk rumbled somewhere in the back of Darcy's brain.
The next thing Darcy realized was that she was naked. There was fabric draped around her back – it looked like Thor's cape – but her uncovered breasts were pressed against Bruce's chest.
She couldn't find it in her to care. She was too busy noticing the wreckage of the hallway, and the fact that a medical team was putting Clint on a stretcher while the rest of the Avengers stood around and glared.
Darcy squeezed her eyes shut.
"Please," she whispered to Bruce. "Take me back to the basement."
-l-
She spent the rest of the day sitting in the big bed in the Hulk Apartment, staring at the wall.
-l-
Bruce came in late that night. Darcy turned to look at him, and he must have seen something in her face, because he slowly climbed into the bed, and even more slowly, like one wrong move would make her hulk out, pulled her into his arms.
"Clint?" she asked. She didn't recognize her own voice.
"Will be fine," Bruce said. "He's got two cracked ribs and some bruises, but otherwise he's okay."
Darcy relaxed against Bruce's chest.
-l-
In the morning, Darcy woke in Bruce's arms. He smiled at her from beneath the fringe of his fluffy hair, and offered to walk with her to the lab.
Darcy said, "That's okay. I think I'm going to stay here today."
She didn't take any calls either. She couldn't face anyone.