POV Carlisle
3 months later.
"Going hunting, Carlisle!" Alice yelled from downstairs, although, of course, yelling wasn't really necessary, I would have heard if she whispered.
"Have fun!" I said quietly. I heard the house empty quickly, leaving me alone, yet again, with only the silence, my terrible, terrible guilt and no wife. We had given up ringing her. It was pointless. I had thought about searching for her, but she could be anywhere. It would be pointless. She wouldn't want to see me. I knew her well enough to know that.
If she would just let me explain...
No, Carlisle, I told myself, even if you explained then she wouldn't want to know. But I needed her. I wasn't myself without her. I was like part of me was missing, like she'd taken one of arms with her when she left. I lived with it day and night, the knowledge that I'd betrayed her. Not once, but twice. The rest of the family tried to continue as normal, I think Edward had read my mind and told them that I was torturing myself enough and their silent treatment wouldn't make much difference. But I could feel the disapproval radiating off them, especially Bella and Rosalie, whose husbands would never take it into their heads to even consider what I had done. Before, I would have ranked among them in the loyalty hierarchy. But not anymore.
I slumped forward and groaned in despair, putting my head on my arms. I could literally do nothing until Esme took it into her head to return to us, to her coven, her family, her life. To me. I was nothing without her. My work had reduced in quality. My relationship with my family had deteriorated. I had been a prize idiot and deserved to pay the price though, I thought.
Samantha had seduced me, simple as that. Yes, I have a will of my own, and yes, I should have known better. Much better. I had tried to deny my attraction to her for months, but she had ambushed me. That could have been explained, a one off, a mistake. But the second, third time? How could I explain that away? I needed serious forgiveness from my whole family if we were ever going to get past my infidelity. If we ever would. Vampires were immortal. Could I live forever without the centre of my life?