Spock walked about the city restlessly unable to gain the quiet he needed to go to sleep.

The tall Vulcan wondered around aimlessly, looking at people but not seeing them. The hardware store near his apartment was just opening, ready to take on its early rising construction customers when it caught Spock's eye.

He figured he might find a better selections of razors here, the ones found in supermarkets grew dull very quickly and he wanted something that could slice into him as deep as it could clean.

Spock walked in to the rank smell of soil, fertilizer and metal. He browsed the aisles casually, running his fingers over the occasional item before coming to a stop right in front of the rope.

His mind turned and clicked as he selected a bright yellow nylon bundle. Wouldn't his beloved look beautiful laced up with the bright rope against her dark skin? All the things they could do when she was bound played out in his mind as he set the item back on the shelf. It was too rough for her skin, he wanted to thrill her not hurt her. Maybe he could tie her up and lick cocoa and cinnamon off of her straining back? And perhaps cut her too?

He shook his head and continued in his search for the razors.

Or maybe she could bleed him herself, as a way of letting her know he was sorry for any discomfort he may have caused her. H

e imagined himself bound to a chair, Nyota wielding a small blade right before running the tip against his chest. The wound trickled rivulets of emerald green down his torso and onto the chair as he hissed at her. She smiled at him as she made a series of shallow incisions across his lok, following the trail of ridges and bumps as she lapped the blood running down the shaft and suckled at the head. He imagined himself begging her for forgiveness while pressing her not to stop before he ejaculated within her warm mouth. His dream Nyota granted him this and grinned wickedly with a swirl white and green running down her chin. He wanted that pain from her. Not like how she hurt him with her strange reluctance and the tears she shed.

No, Spock wanted to show Nyota that he knew how to make sex exciting for her, that was all. She always had a good time with him both standing beside and underneath him.

He had wanted her from the day he saw her, beautiful African princess that she was to him. Regal yet approachable, she had him yearning to be separated from T'Pring so Nyota could take the cold Vulcaness' place. It didn't happen that way though. No, T'Pring had left him alone after she had long found another and Nyota remained just as unavailable as she had been her first 3 years of attending the Academy.

How he longed to hold her, take her gently into his arms and feel the coolness of her silky copper skin, deeply inhaling the floral perfume that was her. Even more than that he wanted to hear Nyota say I love you.

There was no greater honor that a human could bestow upon another being than their unconditional love and devotion he thought. He had so many things going for him, his looks, his intellect, his health, his libido, why did she not go on and permit his love, a love that he himself saw that she wanted? Maybe the pull of Starfleet regulations was too strong for both of them to fight free of and she would never come to him in hopes of being his. He sighed and clenched his fist. It was their way to have the female accept the male but she denied him with her silence, why?!

He looked the end of the aisle and saw the gray bearded manager looking at him curiously. " Can I help you? You trying to buy something for a project?"

The Vulcan tilted his head and gave a short shake. " Yes I was looking for inspiration on a personal project of mine but nothing that you would be able to help me with." And with that he walked out of the store.

He started towards the Academy to walk Nyota over to his apartment for their tutoring session still burning from his emotions bubbling up from their confines. He felt it safer not returning to the same spot to ravage her, someone might try and say he was hurting her or that they were spending too much time together. That was for them to decide.

Spock was still several feet away from Nyota's dormitory when he noticed a pair standing outside of the entrance. A male was caressing a slender brown female's arm and she was smiling back at him shyly. His female, his Nyota!

He growled lowly, a rumbling thunder centered in his chest as he glared at the necking couple. How dare she? That was not his arm to touch, nor was it her body to give. It was his!

Spock battled the tempest warring within him as he walked up to them looking nonplussed. " Good morning, Cadet. I trust that your guest did not stay the night?"

Nyota's face flushed red profusely as she looked back and forth between her commanding officer and last night's conquest. " Sir! Not to speak out of turn but that is my personal business, sir!"

He felt his anger spike and he took a quick breath before continuing. " As you know, no civilians are allowed an overnight stay upon Academy or Starfleet grounds without the proper paperwork being filed and approved by the necessary parties." He narrowed his eyes at her companion and contorted his face into a quick snarl while Nyota was busy looking at the other male as well. This is what he got when he did not leave his mark upon Nyota, it was not enough to coat her in his scent and leave his seed inside of her. He wanted to mark her right then in front of this rival but his warped logic still knew better than to do so in public. Being in public did not lessen the urge to though. His jaw spasmed as he held it shut.

He was regressing to his forefathers mentality quicker than he thought he would given the healer's medical prognosis after severing the bond. Whether he realized it or not T'Pring had given him a foundation to ground his violent emotions in and when she had left him, his tumultuous feelings began to cave in the building of his logic. He was going mad.

" I'm sorry, Yorri. I've got to run, call me later okay."

The Betazoid stared at Spock picking up on his building rage but said nothing of it. " Yes, I will call you later. Bye Nyota"

" It's Cadet Uhura. Good day." Spock said to the male's retreating form in a voice two pitches to low to be his own.

Spock looked at Nyota who was staring at him in a mix of anger and confusion. He could not truly blame her for this event. She was young and attractive, any male humanoid would be tempted to have her but she was already spoken for in the most primal of ways. He would forgive her in his own way and time.

"Cadet I have your lesson prepared at my quarters, if you would follow me." he turned on his heels and started to walk away but stopped when she protested.

" What the hell was that, sir?" she snapped. She was challenging his claim of her. It was good then that today's lessons would be at his apartment. He would not have to worry about anyone questioning the screams and moans that might be heard from his bedroom. He would make her know that she was his today, leave an imprint of it inside her mind to keep her from going astray. He would break her of that Betazoid. If she couldn't be his, then she could be no one else's.

"I do not approve of your tone, Cadet. If you are referring to the conversation earlier I was merely trying to keep you from a demerit on your record."

She wilted a bit at the mention of her sparkling record as he knew she would. Though the sex was always different with her, each time they started to engage in the activity she would always say something about breaking rules or regulations. She had a loyalty to Starfleet that he found charming but would not let such things keep her from his handling.

" If you care to speak more about it, let us do so in private. We do not want others to hear of talk your transgressions." he said quietly. She nodded and followed after him to his quarters. They were silent all the way there, absorbed in their own thoughts, she of her career and him of what he was about to do to her.

Spock keyed in his door code and allowed Nyota in first. He waited until the door slid closed first before grabbing her by the arm. She resisted without thinking and was shocked by his expression when she faced him.

" Commander!?"

He growled at her and pulled at her blouse sending the buttons flying. She shirked and clawed at his arm as he continued to shred her clothing, deaf to her pleading. " T'nash-veh! (Mine)" he snarled as he threw her onto the couch.

She scrambled toward the edge to flee but he was soon on her, all teeth and tongue. She cried out with each bite since he choose withhold his pleasure but shock her system with his paralyzing rage. His teeth sank like a knife through butter in her soft skin and growled into it.

Nyota hurled curses at him as she clawed at whatever she could reach of his body.

"Stislak! Fam du'nash-veh! V'tosh ka'tur! (Monster! This-one is not yours! You are a Vulcan without logic!)"she spat with a resounding slap to his pale green cheek.

He roared at her and seized her neck. She gasped and tried in futility to pry his vice-like grip from her throat. She could breathe but not comfortably. It made it all the more frightening knowing that at any moment she may not be able to.

" T'nash-veh! (Mine!)" he yelled once more, flooding her mind with their previous encounters. Her riding him, him mounting her and all the feelings of painful pleasure that came with it. She groaned and arched, presenting her neck.

" Du'nash-veh... ( Yours...)" she whispered, spreading her legs to him in submission as he molded her mind to his whims like clay. She could not deny him, it was beyond her control to choose otherwise. He had captured her mind and now made moves to claim her submissive body.

Spock was thoroughly pleased now and eyeing her darkly from above as he bit at his full bottom lip. She was his mate and would no long continue to brood in denial.

" Ha, glad-tor du.( Yes, you see now)" he purred and stroked her body. She arched into his touch and hold on her throat, begging to be taken. He could not leave her wanting.

He flipped her over the arm of the couch onto her belly with her breasts and arms left hanging over the side. She mewed as his hot hands lifted her rump up in the air, exposing the rosy lips at the apex of her legs.

Nyota returned to cursing at him, clawing at the sofa's stiff leather sides as he rubbed the blunt head of his oppressively hot lok between her slit. She sunk her nails into couch with whine and purred his name. " Ha, weh! Tan-tor weh nash veh! (Yes, more! Give me more!)"she demanded almost angrily to be filled.

He landed a sharp swat to her ass, huffed over her. " Be still, lust devil. I will fill you soon enough."

He held her slender shoulders and set a punishing rhythm. She groaned and called him things in Vulcan, delightful, dirty things but it was not enough. He released his hold and settled his hands against her temples. She froze and listened, awaiting his commands. " Make yourself climax on my lok. Tell me how good I am, how good I feel, how none compare to me." he growled inside her mind.

She shifted her hips and bounced her bottom against him, the resounding smack of flesh hitting flesh echoing off the walls mixed with her breathy moans.

" You're so good, you fuck me so well. None can fill me like you do, no one can tame me like you can. Just when I think I can't, you make me come again and then once more. You know me and you please me." she panted, feverishly pushing against him.

Spock watched her moving, her cheeks making a mesmerizing jiggle as they hit his pelvis. He groaned as she ground him, taking his monstrous, green lok inside of her harder and deeper, crying out when she finally found her pleasure.

" You took home another that was not me. You allowed him to touch your body and for that you shall be punished." He snarled into her ear. She turned to him looking up contritely. "But I have been good and done all that you asked of me."

Spock withdrew himself from her body making them both grunt in displeasure. " I believe it is popular on your world to give a student corporal punishment, I do not see an issue in doing the same with you though you are no longer directly my student. Sit facing away from me on my lap and place your hands at the edge of the coffee table."

Nyota held her head in her hands but moved to obey him. Once seated on his thighs, she leaned forward and placed her hands on the table. Her balance wavered and Nyota rolled her throbbing forehead against her arm. " Spock, my head hurts." she whimpered.

" Not as much as your bottom is about to hurt, of that I can assure you." he said coolly. She started to turn her head but her growled at her. " Face! Forward! Be still and obey me!"

She nodded weakly and flinched with a hiss through her teeth as he struck her left cheek with the flat of his hand. He experimented with hard and light taps, firm swats and more forcefully ones that he rubbed the against the flush skin of her ass. Spock listened, enthralled by the noises that he caused Nyota to utter, she was such a vocal creature.

Something hot was sliding down his thigh and he looked down to see her sex glistening becoming wet once more and pooling moisture upon his legs. After a particular hard swat that made her tear up and sob, he ran two fingers across her nether-lips and dipped them into her core. She gripped at them, her muscles trying desperately to draw his fingers further in. She sniffled and a tear rolled across the high plane of her cheekbone. " Please, no more, I've learned my lesson."

Spock took some time to admire the poppy red hand prints gracing each globe. He cupped her butt and spread her rump, hearing her whimper in protest as he touched her tender skin. " Do you see how much you crave my lok, Ashayam? I do not take joy in denying it to you. You grow so wet and ready for me. You are not some whore that sleeps with Betazoids, you are soon to be my bondmate. I know that, do you?" he caressed Nyota against her puckered hole making her trill and coo.

Her comm buzzed in the bag beside him. He fished it out and he checked the id. Yorri. He snarled and then began to smile. Actually smile. It was his first time undoing so while not under the influence of cocoa or Vulcan brandy and he found the sensation interesting.

He flipped the slim metal case open and held it to Nyota's moaning mouth. He touched the side of her face and spoke within her mind to detail her pleasure and he would reward her with another orgasm. She happily complied. " Yes, please, make me come! Please, please, please, I'll be good! Please!" she panted, ignorant to the phone's existence.

He placed the comm on the couch top, sunk deep inside of her and rutted against the female he laid claim to, taking pleasure in knowing her former lover was on the line as she begged for him, Spock, to make her shatter into blissful pieces.

/Where do you want it/ he asked in her mind. " On me, come where you like!" and he sent them both over the edge with a few quaking thrusts. She screamed out wiggling furious as she rode the waves of her euphoria.

He pulled out and flipped her over, splattering his mark upon her face and breasts. She looked so beautiful to him as she lay there panting and covered in his essence. Yorri should really get a chance to look at this as well. He grabbed the phone hearing Yorri yelling Nyota's name and asking after her welfare. She was fine, she was with her Adun after all, nothing to worry about. He clicked a few options on the started the video cam, capturing her image in all it's vulgar glory. He pressed his fingers to her toes and spoke to her silently once more.

/Say you're taken/ he murmured to her again holding the comm over her torso and her face.

" I'm...taken." she moaned, sobbing as he pinched her clit and sent her spent body soaring once more.

/Very good/ and he clicked the comm closed. He pushed against the tight entrance and wiggled a finger in past the knot of her ass./ Now come here and let me explore you...thoroughly./

Nyota woke violently, as her body trembled with effort to keep her balanced. She quailed and knit her fingers into her hair as she held her throbbing head. It hurt so much! She groaned and tried to recall if she had been drinking that evening?

Blackout episodes were becoming more and more frequent and with nothing to explain them away especially since she didn't drink everyday. Why did she feel so sticky and sore? She hissed as she threw her legs over the bed...wait who's bed was this? She looked around, her breath coming in short huffs. Hyperventilating wasn't going to help her but she couldn't stop. Oww, and her ass hurt too. Wait, did she...? No, she had never been interested, but...she felt so wet there.

She wrapped herself with the sheet and padded around the dark bedroom looking for clues to whose it was, her comm and her clothing. She had to leave here and get some pain meds asap. After a few minutes of searching Nyota struck out on the latter two but she did spy the a tiny red light in the corner. She walked closer and saw that it was a comm wall unit, with 57 waiting messages. 57? Did anyone live here or did they just come here to...ugh she didn't wanna even think about it.

She pushed the system awake and played a few recordings at random and was shocked by all that she saw and heard. She was at Spock's home!? She had slept with him!? Oh God, what had she done? What had he done? She gagged and held her head as a sharp, stabbing overtook her balance and sent her crashing towards the floor in a crumpled heap. It hurt so much. She hurt so much...

When Spock had found her she was curled up into a tight ball, biting at the sheet wrapped around her body and squeezing her wet eyes shut as she fought the pain. He fell to his knees and gathered her into his arms.

" Nyota! Nyota, what troubles you? Ashayam!" he half shout, half cried. As his hands touched her skin he was raked with a white hot streak of pain behind his optical sockets, her scorching pain temporarily blinding him to the already dimly lit room. He groaned and shielded himself as best he could but the feeling still leaked through like hot coals on his fingertips she was suffering so much. How did this happened? Did he do something to her? Did he wound her mortally?

Spock dressed her as quickly as he could, took her bag and left for the San Francisco Interstellar Hospital. If she was suffering from something due to their interaction then they would be more than able to handle it.

He hailed a hover cab, the driver of which panicked and sped all the way there, all the time shouting that she should have been in an ambulance. Spock didn't listen as he held his limp mate in his arms as she was silent against his pleas for forgiveness. He was sick and he had hurt her. He should have tried to reason with her instead of bottling the emotions further and further down until they ruptured the way that they did that first morning only with her.

He had professed devotion and offered his hand but she was reluctant and it had angered him. Without thinking he took her mind and saw that she did in fact desire him as a mate and was incensed further into taking her body and marking her neck as she scream for him to stop. It was at that time that his logic was truly scattered as he thought he could wipe it away and try again later to win her but with each tutorial he added another foot to the hole he was digging for himself.

He had harmed the one he had claimed to protect but she wouldn't listen to reason! Right?! He hissed and held his head as a wave of pain wrecked through his temple where the healer had broken the bond. It had increased in pain steadily as the gap between himself and others grew and his emotions overwhelmed him. She and many others told him to get bonded but to whom if not Nyota?

No Vulcan wanted a half breed! They thought him garbage when he knew Nyota treasured him like a first love. So why did she leave him like this to suffer and let him hurt her...no, it wasn't her fault...it was his! His madness sought to destroy him and he thought of her as a part of himself so she suffered alongside him as his unbridled perversions swallowed them whole. " Nyota! Nyota sanoi!" he sobbed as the hover cab pulled up to the entrance. He could not lose her.

He ran into the ER, her body limp and cool in his arms, demanding immediate medical attention. A nurse practitioner walked over asking that he keep his voice down.

" She is dying!" he screamed with emotion even startling to himself in its strength. The whole ER froze, even the bleeps and clicks of monitors seemed to quiet down as he panted, clutching the limp brown body in his arms. No one had ever seen Vulcans convey emotion, but here was Spock screaming and looking on the verge of crying as his eyes grew bright with water.

" Right. Lucy were going to need a gurney down here stat."

A medical team buzzed about Nyota a flurry of charts and scrubs, testing her for this and then for that, asking Spock all that he knew about her. They grew more concerned when he mentioned melding with her.

" And she is not bonded to you?" a small Trill doctor questioned him. When he shook his head and the doctor's face went into a scowl as he explained one of the many way Spock had wronged her.

" Let's say the human brain is like a two lane street equipped with shoulders off to the side, having a meld with a Vulcan whose brain is more like 4 lane highway, forces a lot more neural traffic down than the 2 lane road is able to manage. Forming a bond with her does a bit of road work for her in her brain to redirect all the extra traffic. Right now and probably a few times before all the extra traffic is driving onto the shoulder to get through and get processed but now all the synaptic cars are crashing and piling up. Why did you meld with her so many times without first consulting an elder? Which by the way we are going to need if she's going to live." he spat and was instantly shocked to see Spock's shoulders heaving as he began to sob.

" I have an elder for you to reach. T'Pau, she is visiting her son in the embassy, please call her. Save my Ashayam! I will die with her if you can not save her. I want nothing but her! She is mine!" he choked unfamiliar with releasing his emotion into live action.

It hurt to cry. His throat burned and felt as if it had a lump, while the tears streamed both down his face and through his nose making it wet and runny. His chest felt the worst, like there was a raw, gaping hole rapidly consuming him.

His mate was dying because of him, because he was sick and did not think to once accept the help that his parents and grandmother offered him. He knew what all 51 messages would more or less say. Let us help you, do not go on destroying yourself, but he had wanted too. He was unloved, outcast and broken and the only thing that kept him here was Nyota's feeling of affection.

He tried so hard to make her love him but each false accidental touch he made let him now the results were fruitless. At first cocoa numbed him ( k'vass had been so hard to come by) but cuts and burns were more distracting from his pain elsewhere. And he could control those, how deep, how wide, how many, how few. And when he was done he could just repair the damage to his body but he could not do so for his mind.

Nyota had been the best thing to ever happen to him and he could not find a way to claim her.

He would watch her during the time she was an aide and while out on her lunch breaks, masturbate to her scent infusing the room. The guilt had been so strong the first time he cut himself right there at his desk across his stomach.

But that was not enough, nothing was enough where she was concerned. He needed her so much, he wanted to devour her and hold her life inside of him. She was his. She was his. SHE WAS HIS!

He was growling and crying, snarling now at anyone that got to close to her. He stood up from his chair to stand at her side and wailed her name. His Nyota. Why did she have to be so fragile to his touch. He was playing with her hair when a richly dressed Vulcan appeared in the doorway. Sarek.

" Spock, what have you done?" he asked flatly.

A rival. Spock snorted and growled a warning. He would not have her. He would die if he touched her and he said as much in Vulcan to the challenger.

Sarek tilted his head, looking sadden and distressed. " Son, I have my own, I do not challenge you for yours. You may have her if she'll have you."

" OF COURSE SHE'LL HAVE ME! CAN YOU NOT SMELL THIS ONE ON HER!? CAN YOU NOT SEE MY MARK UPON HER NECK?! I HAVE TAKEN HER ALMOST EVERY DAY!" he roared. Spock shook his head feeling dizzy with anger. No one ever understood. Why couldn't they understand she belonged to him? " SHE'S MINE!"

He launched himself through the air towards his father. It was a dance of fire and ice, Spock's hot fury to Sarek's frigid passiveness. Spock did not check himself and landed a few blows to the older Vulcan but Sarek was a more seasoned fighter.

The elder stopped his defensive pose and struck out hitting his son's sternum. The wind left him and it went downhill from there. Spock was fine with attacking but his mind was not focused at all on blocking. Even as Sarek pelted him with blows paralyzing his right arm and left foot Spock still swatting fiercely, clawing at his father's robes and face.

Sarek remained calm and focused and was rewarded with Spock's back after the younger Vulcan attempted to jab him. He held his shoulder and took his index and middle finger of his other hand and held them against the base of his skull. Spock instantly fell to his knees and knelt motionless. The doctors and nurses that ran outside at the first few blows returned after a few minutes of quiet along with a petite Vulcan matron.

Lady T'Pau.

She looked at her grandson and then towards Nyota. Both looked to be in horrible condition like she expected but she still felt...moved. " Spock, your thoughts, give them to me."

She almost winced against the maelstrom of his mind. He was tearing himself apart, looking and searching for Nyota who he had not even bonded to. He cried her name in his mind and wailed in despair as his cries went unanswered. Visions of her floated by and faded from view all of her smiling or moaning or heavily lidded in lust. T'Pau pressed gently on his katra and found it wilting and withering. Spock was not only going to die in corporal form but in spirit as well. He had been in tel'has-mar (bond diseased or sick) so long that without bonding with Nyota his body was choosing to decay. Without her he would rather be dead.

T'Pau clucked her tongue as she reviewed his 'courtship' of the small, dark human. She had suffered. Never in her days did she ever think Spock capable of such...ek'rasahkos (evil).

" I need her. I love her." Spock whispered aloud and within.

T'Pau felt heavy with burden. As she withdrew from his mind. It seemed that both would die and all because of Vulcan emotions that went unchecked; a poisoned love born out of heartache.

" Sa-fu he is dying a true death to shan'hal'lak ( The Engulfment) due largely in part to the tel'has-mar but the young human's demise tipped him over the edge."

She turned to the Trill doctor who cowered a bit at her unflinching gaze. " You will stabilize these two and transport them to these ship coordinates and into my custody. They are now under my care."

The Trill started to object and thought better of it when she raised an eyebrow at him.

" What are you going to do?"

T'Pau squared her slim shoulders from beneath her robes and answered. " Whatever is necessary for them to survive."