Emil woke up to the shuffles of footsteps. He sat up in Leon's bed and rubbed his eyes. They had fallen asleep after playing video games. He nudged his friend. The Asian only ducked deeper into the blanket.
"Leon!" Emil hissed, wondering if he ought to jump out of the window. Considering it was the second floor, he snuggled back into Leon's blanket and shuddered. The door eventually opened and woke Leon. The boy bounced up and stared at Arthur, who was fortunately sober and in a rather merry mood.
Emil tried to hide behind his friend futilely. Arthur raised his brows, glimpsed the snack packages and game controllers scattering on the floor. He blinked back at his son.
"You have a friend over?" he asked with a smile, leaning against the door.
Leon nodded and slid out of bed to pick up the garbage they left on the ground.
"Care to tell me his name at least?" Arthur stepped into the room and stroked the boy's hair.
"This is Emil," Leon mumbled. "We're in the same class."
"Hi…er…good…" Emil peeked out of the window, feeling a lump in his throat. "Good evening s-"
"Just call me Arthur." Arthur walked up to the bed and held out his hand. Emil averted his gaze and reluctantly took it. "Thanks for taking care of my son."
"Um…" Emil looked away and blushed. "It should be the other way round actually." He quickly jumped off bed and fidgeted. "I'd better get going by the way."
"Why don't you stay for dinner?"
"No…thanks." Emil chuckled nervously. "I really…should be going."
He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.
"Well then, maybe next time." Arthur shrugged.
Emil nodded and scurried towards the door.
"See you, Leon." He smiled at his friend and left.
Leon continued to tidy up his room. Arthur bent down to help him.
"Are you hungry?"
Leon shook his head and scooted away from his father.
"Are you still feeling unwell?" Arthur asked, distraught. When the boy didn't answer, he sighed and sat on the floor. "I'm sorry about last night. I drank too much."
Leon put his game set back into the drawer and said nothing.
"Anything you want to eat tonight?" Arthur asked and caught sight of a creased paper near the bed. He unfolded and read the test paper. "Wow, so brilliant, you didn't show me this yesterday."
"I did, but you tossed it away," Leon muttered and turned to his father. "Remember?"
Arthur frowned. Leon snatched the paper and tore it into pieces. He dumped them into the bin, alongside the crumpled family photo. He forced his tears back and faced his father. "I don't think Mum is ever coming home, is she?"
Arthur didn't answer. His eyes glinted. His heart followed the pieces lying at the bottom of the bin.
"Even if I get full marks, she won't come back, right?" Leon asked.
"Leon…" Arthur bit his lips bleakly.
"Can Emil come again?" Leon wiped his eyes and smiled. "He's my best friend."
"Sure, why not." Arthur smiled back. He got up and hugged the boy. "He can come whenever he wants."
Leon never mentioned his mum again. He invited Emil frequently to his place. Emil wasn't comfortable with Arthur's presence so he often left when the man returned home. Leon's house became his temporary shelter, where he could avoid Mathias as much as possible. They would do revision together, read, play games and have tea. It went on for another year or two. The two boys entered the same middle school. Life didn't change for the better though.
Emil stared at the rubbish stuffed inside his drawer and the paints on his desk. He clenched his fists and forced himself not to cry in front of the class. Boys snickered and laughed. Girls whispered and giggled in disdain. He touched the paint with his index finger. It was fresh crimson. Like blood. The word "RETARD" was engraved on the desk. Tears slipped out of his eyes. He trembled. The entire class burst into laughter.
"What the fuck is wrong with you people?" Leon stomped up towards Emil and kicked over the desk. The filthy contents inside the drawer sputtered to the ground.
"I'm reporting this." Leon scowled and clasped Emil's wrist. They stormed out of the classroom and called the teacher. The teacher scolded the class and punished a couple of the boys responsible for the prank. Emil couldn't stop crying when he found the note book he had painstakingly worked on for nearly two months ripped and burnt into ashes, his favourite pencil case cut into half and the panda key chain Leon gave him broken.
No one talked to them. Emil's disorder got worse as he grew older. His brother didn't have time to look after him, let alone consult any medical help. Leon helped with his studies most of the time, but he would still fail certain subjects. Sometimes, when the two boys grew tired of telling on their classmates, they simply skipped the class.
When the first bang came on the door, Emil ignored it and concentrated on the hot water rinsing his body. They had just finished gym at school and were showering. The second bang convinced him something was wrong. He gasped and opened the door. His clothes were gone. He looked around in perplexity. The room was empty. The shower in the room opposite his was still running.
"L-Leon?" Emil stuttered.
Leon heard his friend and turned off the tap. He peeked out of the door and widened his eyes. His clothes, too, were stolen.
"Damn it."
Emil began to panic. The boys showed up in no time and kicked open their doors. They dragged them towards the middle of the room.
"Stop!" they cried and struggled. The gang hauled them across the floor and shoved them towards each other.
They lay on the floor hugging their naked body. They couldn't even spare a second to protest when cameras were brought out and the gang started snapping photos of them.
"What are you doing!" Leon hollered with angry tears. He attempted to snatch one of their phones but got shoved back to the ground.
"Had fun telling on us, didn't you?"
One of them laughed.
"Disgusting faggots."
"We've had enough of you two in our class. Just go die already."
"You won't get away with this!" Leon yelped. Emil curled up to cover his body.
"You're always defending him! Is he your bitch or something?"
Tears trickled down his face. Emil grabbed one of his classmates and punched him.
"Fuck you!"
He landed on the floor next to Leon. They both got yanked up by their hair, their faces smashed against each other. Their lips touched. The flashing lights never ended.
They were left panting on the ground with tears and bruises. Their lips were swollen from the forced kisses. Leon's nose started bleeding when their faces slapped against each other.
"We'll be expecting 200 bucks tomorrow," was the last thing they heard, "unless you want these photos to go online."
Emil propped himself up and grabbed the towels. He wrapped one around his body and covered Leon with another one. Leon held up his nose and winced.
"What should we do now?" Emil sobbed.
Leon grunted and leaned against the wall.
"Do we even have a choice?"
Emil rummaged in the drawer and pulled out a purse. He flipped it open and counted the notes. He slipped a hundred dollars into his pocket and turned around. He froze.
"Ah ha, when have you started learning to steal stuff?" Mathias cocked his brows and strutted towards him.
Emil gasped and tumbled back.
"Mathias…I…"
"Haven't you heard 'never take what isn't yours'?" Mathias folded his arms and grinned slyly. He cornered the shorter boy and tilted his head, "And I suppose that is my money you're stealing?"
"S-Sorry…I…I didn't mean to…" Emil shivered and dug into his pocket.
"No, no, no, keep it." Mathias laughed. "I appreciate your guts."
"I really do need this money, please…" Emil pleaded, eyes welling up with tears. "Don't tell Lukas…"
"Nah, I'll have to think about that." Mathias snickered and glanced down at the weeping boy. He lifted his chin and leaned in to peck at those quivering lips.
"Did you kiss someone today?" Mathias asked in amusement, tracing his fingers on the swollen flesh.
Emil blushed and looked at the wall.
"You naughty boy." The whisper made him shiver. "And guess what? Naughty kids do get their punishment."
Emil winced at the sharp pain in his wrists. The man flung him onto the bed and pinned him down. He bit his lips forcibly drawing a thin line of blood. Emil whimpered. His school cardigan came off swiftly. Mathias ripped open his shirt and grabbed onto his bare chest. His tongue worked along his neck greedily. The boy moaned and wiggled, but the man was heavy above him. Mathias withdrew from his nape and licked his lip.
"Stop crying." His voice was hoarse and accusing. "It's not your first time with me anyway. You should've got used to it."
Emil turned away and shut his eyes. The teeth were all over his shoulder blades again. He groaned. He imagined the nimble fingers touching him sensually belonged to Leon's. It was a reprehensible imagination, indeed. Yet, if he had to be taken by someone, he would hope it was Leon.
The blond tugged down Emil's pants and turned over his body. He soaked his fingers with lube and started preparing him. Emil squeezed his eyes shut and clutched the pillow. The image of Leon got more lucid in his head. Those dark locks. Sleek. Soft. Aromatic. Those brown eyes. Round. Beautiful. Penetrating. Those lips. Shit! What was he thinking?!
He moaned as the digits were plucked out. In replacement, his hole was filled with Mathias' shaft. He grasped the sheets and shook his head. No, this couldn't be real. It wasn't Mathias. It was Leon. He wished it was.
The sex was graceless and tormenting as usual. Mathias came twice in him. He was left lying in a heap of sweat. The pain lingered. His palm bled from his own nails. He wheezed.
The phone rang. Probably Lukas calling home to check on them. Mathias rolled off his body and quickly dressed himself. Emil barely sat up and reached for his own phone. He scrolled down his contact list and paused at Leon's name. But he never called him.
Leon stared at the ceiling and let the pleasure take over his body. He felt low. Foolish. Indecent. But he needed it so bad. The money.
Arthur's touches danced across his body. The man inquired about his bruises. He shrugged them off and lied that he had tripped on the stairs. Over the years, he had gotten used to sex. He didn't realise it was called "sex" at first and thought Arthur was playing a weird game with him. When he eventually learnt from the biology class at school, that it should be meant for a boy and a girl who were in love, he surprisingly felt nothing. Nothing at all.
Arthur's arms wrapped around him and lifted him up. He nestled on the man's shoulder idly and spread his legs for him. He closed his eyes and in the midst of darkness, there was another face. Arthur's whispers echoed. He moaned when the man stretched him with his fingers. His lips burned. Emil's lips. They felt nice. Soft. Sweet. Unlike Arthur's. Bitter. Of cigarettes and liquor. He tossed his head back and covered his eyes with his hands. No, he shouldn't be crying. But Emil's sobbing face kept popping up. His best friend. His alter-ego. His lov… Wait! What was that? His vision blurred. Stars blinded him. He moaned out loud when Arthur hit that spot repeatedly. He curled his toes and panted. Like a woman. Like a slut. He imagined the hand stroking his length was someone else's. He wished the teeth grazing across his skin were not Arthur's. He wished that it had been…been…Emil?
"Emil," he whispered. Almost inaudibly.
Arthur stopped and frowned.
The boy gasped and nearly lost his heartbeat.
"Did you say something?"
Leon shook his head and burrowed his face into the man's chest.
When he closed his eyes again, Emil was there. Lying beside him. Sometimes, hovering above him. Their lips inches apart.
He waited until Arthur dozed off. He dragged himself out of bed and searched his father's wallet. He took out a hundred dollars and walked back into his bedroom.
He texted Emil but got no answer.