I Never Left You Chapter 4, a glee fanfic

OMG! I can't believe how many people seem to like this story…okay well it's not that many, but still I have received 10 reviews, 42 alerts and 12 faves. I am a happy girl right now! I just hope I don't disappoint you guys who are still reading, or the people who may come to read it later.

Warnings: mild coarse language, slight violence

I was at school appallingly early this morning. Anyone who wasn't aware of my situation (A.K.A. everyone) would have found it quite strange indeed, but I quite frankly didn't care. I had to get there early so that I got into the school before Karofsky showed up. He wouldn't do anything too serious while we were surrounded by other people. He wouldn't risk outing himself like that. I knew he might beat me up, or shove me into lockers, or threaten me, but he wouldn't sexually harass me at least. I could handle physical pain. The kisses and touching messed with my emotions and made me think of things I'd never even considered happening to me. It terrified me.

So, here I was. Making sure I was in the most crowded hallway (or as crowded as a school hallway could be forty five minutes before school began) in the entire school. Thankfully, by the time the bell rang for homeroom, I had completely avoided the neanderthal making my life miserable and went to the proper classroom.

I later spent most of my next class passing notes with Mercedes. There were still so many details to work out for our trip this afternoon after Glee. We managed to work out a few of the finer details, but we had to save a few for lunch when we could talk to the other girls.

Talk we did. We managed to decide on who would be driving with who (I would be taking Rachel, Tina, and Mercedes while Santana would be taking Quinn and Brittany) and what time we all had to be home. I had to be back by five again to cook supper due to my dad coming home at six like yesterday. Everyone else didn't really have a specific time. I guess that's just what happens when you're responsible for someone else. I hopefully wouldn't have to worry about it quite as much once my dad found a larger house and Carole and Finn moved in. It would be a nice change. We would be a family; a mother, father, and two sons. I'd be able to be a teenager more often without having to worry constantly about my dad's health on top of everything else.

I had English after lunch, and unfortunately everyone else's classes were in the opposite direction. I walked by myself, and as my luck would have it, I would be nursing a sore and bruised shoulder for a while. I put my hand on said shoulder and watched Karofsky walk away with this creepy smirk on his face. Then he winked at me. Great, first a locker slam, and then I get more of that messed up winking crap? Great.

I quickly slipped into the bathroom, and after checking to make sure no one was in there, I locked the door. I undid my white button up Gucci shirt and moved it aside so that my left shoulder was exposed. It was already starting to turn a lovely shade of purple and blue. I grabbed some bruise cream (I wasn't too focused on the name of it at the moment) and slowly and gently rubbed it into the discoloured area. It hurt, but I hardly flinched. It was utterly ridiculous how used to this I was that it hardly affected me.

If it wasn't for Karofsky being such a closet case and an ass, I wouldn't even have half the problems I did now. Sure I got more bullying than anyone else in the Glee club because of my sexual orientation, but the only reason I ever considered transferring was because of him.

I sighed. There was no point dwelling on it, and once the warning bell rang, I knew I had to get moving if I didn't want to be late.

Glee club couldn't come soon enough, but when it was time, I was happily taking a seat between Mercedes and Brittany (who was sitting in Artie's lap). We chatted about our plans for a few minutes before the rest of the club arrived along with Mr. Schue.

Mr. Schuester looked at us with a weird look on his face and a gleam in his eyes. I knew what that meant. He had an idea. I just wasn't sure what it was, or if I was going to like it.

"Guys, I have some amazing ideas for Sectionals next week!" Uh huh. Totally called it. "It has been brought to my attention that we may be a very diverse group with so many amazing people and talent to match, but I have been neglecting some of the other members. So we're changing it up a bit." There were many anxious and pleased glances exchanged between us, and noises of approval coming from everyone except Rachel. Rachel…she had a determined yet happy look on her face.

"To start us off, let's discuss the Ballad. Who has any- yes Rachel?" he said, realising that her hand was the first one raised. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

"Mr. Schue, if I may, I have a perfect idea."

"Go on, what do you have in mind?" I really hope she wasn't about to suggest a song between her and Finn because that wouldn't change a thing.

"I think Kurt and I should perform the ballad." There were many shocked looks sent her way, including from me. That was unexpected.

During my lunch break that day, I chose to sit with Emma. I was still upset about her dating Carl and how well it was going. I just wished that I could have helped her as much as he had these past couple of months. Instead of bringing Carl up though, I decided to tell her about Sectionals. I had an amazing set list planned out that would help us take home that trophy again this year. However, when I brought it up, she guessed everything that was on it. Not the specific songs, but the ballad between Finn and Rachel, the ensemble numbers and how Mercedes would probably be singing the last note. At first I thought she had seen it, but apparently I'm just predictable. I wasn't giving a lot of those kids opportunities to shine.

So, when I walked into Glee rehearsal that afternoon, I was determined to mix things up a bit and make the kids happy…hopefully. I already had an idea last week for a solo for Kurt in one of our ensemble numbers. He has an amazing voice and I know it would mean a lot to him.

I looked at all the kids and began my speech, "Guys, I have some amazing ideas for Sectionals next week! It has been brought to my attention that we may be a very diverse group with so many amazing people and talent to match, but I have been neglecting some of the other members. So we're changing it up a bit." I noticed many of them had pleased looks, but they also looked anxious about what I was going to do to "change it up." Rachel however had that look of determination. I just hoped that whatever she had for an idea was a good one because I didn't want to have to deal with her attitude if she was shot down.

I continued, "To start us off, let's discuss the Ballad. Who has any- yes Rachel?" I cut myself off when I realised her hand had already been raised.

"Mr. Schue, if I may, I have the perfect idea." You usually do, or at least think you do Rachel. It's one of the reasons you're a favourite of mine. Let's hear what it is.

"Go on, what do you have in mind?"

"I think Kurt and I should perform the ballad." I was actually surprised, and from what I could tell, every other member of the Glee Club was as well. Kurt apparently knew nothing of this either. "Rachel-"I began, but she cut me off.

"Mr. Schue, I have an amazing idea for a song. I know Kurt loves it, and so do I, and our voices harmonize very well." She had a point. Their duet of Happy Days are Here Again/Get Happy was extremely well sung.

"Okay, which song would this be?"

"Well, I was thinking we could do Defying Gravity since it is originally a duet." That wasn't one I was expecting, "We could even change the lyrics so that they suited us. He could sing Elphie's part and I could sing Glinda's."

I looked over to Kurt. His face was a mixture of emotions. I saw happiness, shock, embarrassment, and even…sadness? Shame? I wonder if that had anything to do with his previous singing of this song. I had always suspected something was up with his audition. He had been so adamant that he could hit that high F, and then he blew it? I was just too caught up in everything else that I never took the time to talk to him about it. I was regretting that now.

"Rachel, I'm not sure about that," I was hoping that by saying this, Kurt would speak up, get past the shock and demand to do this song. He hadn't been fighting for solos at all since Karofsky's bullying had gotten worse. It was unnerving, "Last time didn't go so well."

I was so happy when Rachel suggested Defying Gravity. I've always wanted another chance to sing it, but I knew with my previous audition, Mr. Schuester would never go for it. Also, if I did, I could be causing my dad more problems like that phone call. However he had been getting better and he would be pleased that something was finally making me happy again. It might be the turning point for him to realise that I didn't need to go to Dalton. All of that was flushed down the metaphorical toilet though when Mr. Schue opened his mouth.

"Rachel, I'm not sure about that. Last time didn't go so well." I knew it. I was about to speak up and demand that he give me a chance when Rachel spoke. It was also one of the many moments where I wished I carried around a roll of duct tape. Or a sock to shove in her mouth.

"Well Mr. Schue, I don't know about you, but I have perfect pitch hearing. It took me a while to really realise it because I was so happy about winning the audition, but I know Kurt purposely blew that note." Thanks Rachel, I didn't want anyone to know that. It wasn't so much as I didn't want them to know I blew it, it was more why I did it. I was hoping that nobody would say anything but unfortunately pretty much everyone said something. Very loudly

"What do you mean he blew the note on purpose?"

"Why would Kurt do that?"

"Kurt wouldn't do that!"

"It's like his dream song, why would he give it up?"

"I think he would have told us if he did that!"

"Dude, that's totally not cool."

I was sinking further and further into my seat, getting more and more frustrated and embarrassed. Thankfully, Mr. Schue decided to save me.

"Guys," people kept yelling so he tried again, "GUYS!"

Everyone was silent now. I mouthed a silent thank you to him.

"Kurt, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but did you throw the audition?"

I debated mentally for a moment. If I didn't tell them, they'd just badger me until they got their answer. If I did, they'd want to know why, but maybe I could convince them to back off.

"Yes I did," I answered.

"Hold up White Boy," Of course Mercedes would be the one to ask me, "why would you do that? You fought so hard to get that solo. It doesn't make any sense for you to just throw it away."

"Look guys, I'm not going to explain. All you need to know is that I blew it, it was for a good reason, and I don't want to talk about it. Can we please drop it now?" To my pleasure, people didn't say anything more about it.

"Okay Kurt, if you don't want to talk about it, then I won't ask. But if you did throw it, that means you can hit the high F?" Duh Mr. Schue.

"Yes I can."

"Okay, I believe you. This could be a great number for Sectionals so I'll take it into consideration. Does anyone else have any ideas for the ballad, or is everyone happy with Defying Gravity sung by Rachel and Kurt?" Everyone stayed silent and just nodded their approval of me singing the ballad with Rachel.

"Okay then, Defying Gravity it is!" He clapped his hands, "So for our two ensemble numbers I was thinking of using some of our members who don't get to sing as often. So does anyone have any ideas for this?"

We continued to discuss the numbers. By the time Glee rehearsal was over, we had all three numbers planned out. There was Defying Gravity, then Santana would be singing Valerie while we showcased Brittany and Mike's awesome dance moves, and finally Tina and Mercedes would take the lead in Dog Days are Over. I was ecstatic. Of course though, someone had to come and ruin my good mood.

I pretty much ran out of Glee rehearsal and told the girls that I'd see them by my car and Santana's. I didn't want any questions about why I blew the note and I knew if one of them got me alone, I wouldn't be able to distract them. I was halfway to my car when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I was temporarily stunned by fear before I noticed that the hand clasped around my right forearm was too small to be a jock's. I turned around slowly to see which girl had cornered me.

"Hey Rachel."

"Kurt, why did you throw the high F?" of course it was an interrogation. I prepared myself for the worst.

I'd had the idea for a while now, ever since I realised that Kurt threw the note. I was briefly sidetracked when we became enemies fighting over Finn, then the whole incident with Jesse. Now, we were kind of friends this year. Definitely not as close as him and Mercedes but we were doing better.

When I first realised something was wrong with Kurt, I wasn't sure what. At first I thought it was just loneliness and maybe something to do with his dad's heart attack. When I mentioned it to the girls, Tina mentioned Karofsky coming up behind them and slamming Kurt pretty much face first into a locker for apparently no real reason at all. I watched him closely after that, and I noticed it was getting worse. He was nervous, jumpy, and he always seemed to be looking over his shoulder. Once I looked past that, I saw that he was losing weight. His clothing wasn't as tight fitting as it normally would be, and once he had picked up on this fact, he started wearing thicker layers so that we wouldn't notice. He also wasn't even trying to get a solo in Glee anymore. He was terrified. I don't know what Karofsky did to him, but I was determined to protect him from it.

When we found out Karofsky had been expelled, we were so happy it was almost ridiculous. However, that happiness only lasted a short amount of time before he came back. I seemed to be one of the only people who truly knew how affected Kurt was by all this, and he needed something to bring some joy into his life again. So, what better way than to be able to perform his dream song at Sectionals with the most talented person in Glee Club?

When he admitted to throwing the note, I must have been the only one not surprised. I was almost positive that he had done it anyway. He wouldn't tell us why though. I wanted to press the matter but I decided that he wasn't going to talk about it during Glee with everyone. If I wanted to get him to confess, it was going to have to be a one on one conversation.

When Glee was over, I saw him leave the room quickly after telling us girls that he'd meet us by his car and Santana's. Shoot, he was trying to avoid exactly what I was trying to do. I grabbed my things and ran after him. I finally caught up to him in the parking lot. He wasn't quite halfway to his car when I grabbed his right arm.

He visibly tensed and I don't know if he knew it, but he was shaking slightly. I instantly felt bad and was about to apologise when he calmed down and turned around.

"Hey Rachel," he said.

"Kurt, why did you throw the high F?" He didn't look pleased with my question, but I was determined to find out.

"Rachel, I already said I don't want to talk about it." He pulled his arm out of my grip and walked to his car.

"Kurt listen," I said, running after him, "I know we're just starting to be friends, but I care about you. We have so much in common, and I probably understand you better than most in the Glee Club. This is why I understand that you wouldn't throw away the chance to sing one of your most favourite songs in the world without a good reason. So please, as my friend, help me to understand what that reason is." He stopped and turned to face me once he reached his "baby." He looked so sad, and angry. He seemed to be weighing his options, deciding what he should do.

"Okay, if I tell you, then you can't tell anyone. I don't want them to know. I'm only telling you because you might understand."

"Alright Kurt, I promise not to say anything about it." I wouldn't either. People seemed to think I couldn't keep my mouth shut, but if it was really important and I promised not to say anything, I could keep a secret.

"Here goes nothing then. I was rehearsing for the audition, so I was doing scales. I managed to hit the high F and I was so happy. However, while I was doing that, my dad got an anonymous phone call…about me." I did know what that was like. My dads occasionally got calls. When I was younger they wouldn't tell me about it, but I could tell something was wrong when one of them answered the phone and their face fell before they put the phone down again. I answered it one day when I was nine. I had heard words thrown at my dads before and I knew they weren't good, but I couldn't understand why someone would call the house and say things like that. I had hoped Kurt hadn't had to deal with that, but I guess with where we lived it wasn't surprising.

"What did they say?"

"They told my dad his son was…was a…" I nodded to let him know that I knew what they had called him. I had heard it all too often. "Then they hung up. When I got home, he was so upset, and so hurt. I knew it was only going to get worse and me getting up and singing a girl's song in front of so many people wasn't going to help matters any. He was still so new to the idea of me being gay then…he couldn't handle that. So I blew the note, to protect him. I love being in the spotlight as much as you Rachel, but I love him more." He was nearly in tears by the time he was done. I didn't know what to say. He was so strong, so selfless when it came to people he really cared about. He was always trying to protect them. I just threw my arms around him. He froze for a second before leaning into the hug and wrapping his arms around me as well.

"I'm so sorry. I won't pretend to know what you're feeling, but I can understand. I promise, I won't say anything."

"Thanks Rachel."

"You're welcome Kurt."

My talk with Rachel went surprisingly well. I knew she understood, and being able to tell someone about it felt great. I didn't think it would, but it did. I chose to tell Rachel of all people because anyone else would have gotten angry and threatened to hunt down whoever it was on the phone. They wouldn't have just calmly listened, or really got how much it hurt. Rachel did. I was mildly shocked when she hugged me, but eventually hugged her back and thanked her. We stood there like that for a moment before we broke apart.

"So, ready to go to the spa and then get a new outfit?" I asked teasing her slightly, trying to lighten the mood, "Because seriously, your nail beds aren't all that great, and you need some serious help with some of your fashion choices."

"Only some," she responded, a small smile on her face.

I laughed and nodded. Then I spotted the girls heading our way. "I guess we should get going then before I have to be home. There are the girls anyway."

"Sounds good." She said with a smile.

We piled into the Navigator and Santana's car and drove to the mall. We got manicures, pedicures (I only got mine shaped, buffed, etc. because I may be gay but nail polish does not look good on me) and then went shopping. I managed to find Rachel a fabulous outfit that not even Santana could find a scathing remark to make about. That was a first, and I used it to judge that I did an excellent job. I shared a smile with Rachel at this and the other girls just giggled and laughed. It was then that I knew what good friends I had. I might not be able to tell them everything sometimes, but if something was wrong, they would be there for me. I knew it.

And there we go! I know it's quite soon after the previous chapter but the idea just popped into my head and with the snowstorm I had where I live I didn't have anything better to do. I just kept typing and typing and here's the result. It's my longest chapter yet!

In case you haven't figured it out, I love Kurtchel friendship almost as much as I love Klaine 3

In the next chapter, a Klaine non-date/date! What will happen between them? You'll have to wait and see! I think you'll like it.

Btw, did I do a good job of keeping everyone in character? I hope I did! And did you like the song choices?

Review Responses:

Patricia Sage: Yay! Coffee between Klaine 3 And yeah they're both waiting for a sign that the other likes them, or they want the other to make the first move. It'll work out, I promise!

mimi: You won't have to wait to see when it escalates again (not telling how or when) and Klaine will happen eventually, so after that, you'll be seeing a lot more of Blaine! And I'm glad you like it! It means a lot 3

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