So I noticed in the reviews that some things seem mysterious but a lot of what I talk about in the past happened in Not Like We've Known which is book one in the series that I wrote years ago.
If you haven't read it here are some key things that happened that I talk about explained briefly-
1. Bella and Edward were best friends that became romantic and slept together once.
2. After Bella and Edward had an argument Bella proceeded to sleep with Jasper after she got heavily drunk with him
3. At this time Jasper had been seeing Alice but the group didn't know until after this event where Alice told Bella
4. This made Bella run away to Renee over the Christmas holiday, forging a bond with her neglectful mother and ruining the potential relationship her and Edward may have formed.
5. When Bella returned her actions had caused pain and upset, Edward had seemingly moved on and so she began to at the end of the story with Jacob- this was just after Christmas of senior year- but Bella and Edward decided to work on their friendship and the story ended there.
Apologies for my own mistakes and briefness- I would love it if you could also read the preceding story, but I am loving writing this one and I hope it is enjoyable for you.
Light streamed in through the open windows, causing me to wake up slowly. I knew it wasn't sun because the light wasn't warm- it rarely ever was in Forks.
As I turned over I saw Edward, lying next to be so peacefully, still in his clothes from the day before, much like myself. I don't know what time we fell asleep but it must have been during the fifth or sixth replay of the CD. We had been talking all night, reminiscing about the games we used to play as children, old family pets, places we would drive to on weekends in order to escape Forks. Although neither of us mentioned that he only did the latter for me after Renee left and my claustrophobia increased. We kept all the conversation away from anything serious or upsetting, I didn't want to talk about Jacob and he didn't talk about Lauren. In those moments I was just so happy it was me and Edward again without all the outside intrusions of our adult lives that separated us.
Edwards eyes fluttered open as I watched him slowly wake up, his eyes searching for some recognition. When his eyes caught my face he smiled crookedly at me, "good morning" he said, causing me to smile in return.
"It's almost ten, I should get up" I grimaced, still staring at his face and the smile that held it in place, "I promised Alice I would get my dress fitted, it's a girls day."
He laughed, "As funny as it would be to see you caught in the wrath of my sister, I don't want to stress her out anymore before the wedding." He continued smiling at me, melting my heart. I felt like that eighteen year old girl that was absorbed by him, completely and utterly in love, who would lean over and kiss him and lye there for hours longer, ignoring the messages Alice would send me.
"I don't think that would be best for Alice, no" I laughed and pulled myself up and walked over to my dresser. I pulled a wine coloured knit jumper out the top drawer, something I'm sure Alice had bought me and grabbed a pair of jeans of my desk chair. I pulled my seater off and the jumper over my head before swapping my joggers for the jeans. "It's raining, surprise" I said before turning around and looking at Edward whose smile had disappeared and rather his eyes seemed full of life. It was then that it registered I just changed my clothes in front of him.
Edward quickly looked away as he realised too that i shouldn't have done that and got up, "Ummm, I can give you a ride, if you want." Something about making Edward flustered excited me, I couldn't explain it but it was playful enjoyment that I hadn't had in so long with him because of the distance. After all, I was inexplicably comfortable around Edward and have always wanted to tell him everything so it initially didn't cross my mind that it was inappropriate for me to change my close in front of him.
I pushed the feeling of excitement away. Jacob, i thought. But thinking about Jacob filled me with an emptiness, so I swapped my thoughts to Alice and today. I had to leave.
"That would be great Edward thanks," I said as we made our way downstairs. Rose was standing at the sink in the kitchen as Edward and I walked in, with Emmett sat at the table almost choking on his food when he saw us.
"Emmett!" Rose began to turn around, dropping her plates when she saw us. I looked at Edward and his crumpled clothes, panic rising inside me.
"It's not what you think!" I almost screamed. This is not how I intended my morning to go. Edward was shaking his head and Emmett was froze in place by shock. "We were just listening to music and fell asleep, I can't believe you guys!" I almost shouted the last part.
"Thank god Bella!" Rose exclaimed whilst Emmett continued to stare.
"I can't believe you would think that! I'm with Jacob and Edwards got Lauren and for God's sake we aren't even like that!" I could feel the anger rising inside of me.
Edward started laughing and shaking his head, "you guys really have the wrong end of the story," he said before grabbing an apple. "Plus Bella and Jacob are pretty serious, they could follow you guys in the parenting role" Edward winked at me teasingly but I just felt more anger rising in me.
"What!?" Emmett almost spit his cereal out, looking from Edward to me and then back again. "No way Bella!" He started smiling and clapping and I have never wanted to punch my brother so much. Rose looked at me with her forehead furrowed in confusion and I instinctively hit my palm against my forehead.
"No we aren't so you can wipe that smile off your face Emmett!" I snapped, "I don't want kids and Jacob knows that!" I walked passed them to get a drink from the sink ignoring Edwards looks of confusion at my comment. Rose relaxed next to me and mouthed 'are you okay', I nodded and smiled at her.
"Maybe we should get going" I said to Edward who nodded, causing Emmett to raise his eyebrows at us.
"Tell Alice I'll be there soon," Rose called as I walked out the kitchen and to the door, still semi annoyed.
"I love you Rose but you've messed with my plans for your bridemaid dress" Alice complained as she stood at the hen of Roses dress with the tailor, tugging at it this way and that.
I laughed, "I was going to say it's hardly her fault but actually Rose did you plan having a baby?" I asked and Alice stood up straight and looked at Rose.
"You better day it wasn't planned Rose," Alice threatened, pointing her pin at Rose. The tailor looked up at ALice with fear across her face, causing me to laugh again.
"Quick it's bridezilla" Rose joked, but Alice's expression didn't change, causing Rose to become serious, "No it wasn't planned," Rose glanced at me as she spoke, "But we were really drunk and we forgot a condom". The tailors face changed from fear to disgust, making me guess that maybe the tailor didn't have kids.
Alice started laughing just as Edward walked down the stairs with Carlisle; they must have been working together in his office. "What's all the laughter about" Carlisle asked us, Edward smirked behind him.
"Oh it's nothing" Roses face went bright red causing me to laugh again. Carlisle rolled his eyes at us and muttered how things never changed before going into the kitchen.
"Where's your dress Bella?" Edward asked as he walked over to me on the couch and I shrugged teasingly, pretending like I didn't know.
"I don't have one, something about me looking my best already" I glanced at alice who glowered at us before returning to work on the hem of Rosalies dress.
"I couldn't argue there," Edward winked at me, igniting my laughter against as I reached out to punch him. He just laughed at me as he walked into the kitchen after Carlisle.
"What was that about Bella?" Alice mumbled, a needle in between her teeth as she rearranged the hem again.
"What do you mean?" I asked her, causing both her and Rose to turn towards me and give me a 'you know what' look.
"The flirting? The staying over?" Rose offered and I glared at her for the second one. Alice let go of the hem and stood up glaring at me when she heard the latter.
"I thought Edward was at Lauren's last night" Alice exclaimed, "he was at yours!?" She looked at me as if my face held all the answers. Which, when we were teenagers would have been true, but I felt like I had managed to conceal them more over the years.
"Edward and Lauren broke up" Rose stared. Causing me and Alice to face her in shock. I had no idea they had broken up. "Emmett told me this morning, he was wondering why you had brought her up- we thought you knew- that Edward would have told you" I shook my head at Rose as she looked st me. I think Alice's Brain was about to implode.
"When did they break up?" Alice asked Rose, the hurt in her eyes evident. Alice and Edward had always told each other most things as they happened, ever since they were younger. It was just Emmett and I that rarely shared our feelings with each other and preferred to with friends.
"Not last night but the night before, they ended it on the phone. Lauren asked if Edward loved her and he said he never did or something" Rose shrugged and looked at us anxiously, obviously feeling uncomfortable. The phone call he had with Lauren must have been the one I over heard, but I thought if anyone he would have definitely told me. We were too close to not tell each other these things. He had phoned me immediately after every breakup before Lauren so why not tell me now.
"And he spent the night with you?" Alice turned to face me in her quest to uncover the truth.
"Not like that," I sighed at her phrasing so she knew I was annoyed, "we were listening to music and we fell asleep, he walked in on me talking to Jacob on the phone about children-"
"That was really weird this morning," Rose cut me off and turned to Alice, "Edward mentioned that they would be following me and Emmett" Rose pointed and my and then motioned to her stomach. Alice was definitely about to combust. "But Bella would never especially not after befo-"
Now it was my turn to almost scream as I almost die inside from what Rose just said. Alice looked at me her eyes wide, "before?"
"Ages ago, it was nothing, I just had an abortion" I shrugged, I couldn't lie to her now when she was asking in case it came out in the future.
Alice's eyes filled with tears, "an abortion?! Bella when!?"
"Spring break, senior year" I could feel my own eyes filling up, I hadn't cried this much in years. Alice's eyes widened in shock and then I saw the realisation hit her like a ton of bricks.
"Who was the dad?" She glowered at me, as if challenging me to answer and I knew finding out Edward hadn't told her and now this would definitely upset her way more than she would want us to know.
"Alice-" rose warned but Alice cut her off.
"Who was the dad Bella?" Alice said slowly, her voice full of rage. My insides collapsed into mush and I could feel a headache started. I hated upsetting alice just as much as I hated upsetting Edward, probably the two most important people ever to me.
"I don't know," I whispered and Alice screamed.
"I can't believe this! Edward or Jasper right? Bella I can't believe this I can't, this has to be a sick joke" she dropped the needle on the floor just as the kitchen door opened. The tailor, who we had all forgotten existed picked up the needle and walked over to her box in the corner of the room, as though walking away meant Alice wouldn't take it out on her.
"What's going on?" Carlisle asked, looking at the three of us confused. I could feel Edwards hot eyes on me but I refused to turn and look at him.
"Nothing dad" Alice screamed before storming into the kitchen where they had come from. Edward turned away from me and went upstairs. Leaving Rose me and Carlisle stunned in the living room, careless of the tailor.
"Bella" Alice walked into the Cullen library, where I had been sat for the past hour thinking about life, scared to walk out the room and back into the chaotic world that I had just caused.
I turned to face Alice as she spoke, "I'm sorry Bella, I'm really sorry that I put you in that position when we were younger, that I didn't tell you Jasper and I had been secretly dating. If I had so much would have been avoided. For all we know it might have been yours and Edwards wedding coming up," she joked and I shot a glare at her. "I know I got angry but it was just shock, you know what I'm like" She came and sat opposite me.
"I'm sorry too, for not telling you, and I can't defend myself in this situation but I didn't want anyone to know. Rose was the one who made me get the pregnancy test, she was the one that suspected I was pregnant. Not even Charlie or Emmett know." I said trying to placate her and excuse myself simultaneously.
"I understand. I know now isn't the best time but if you had told me back then Jasper and I may not have lasted, even if the baby turned out to be Edwards." She reaches out and held my hand and a look of peace settled on her face. I felt such a collection of love of Alice there who had dealt with so much from me over the years but never failed to stand by me.
"Maybe I should talk to Edward, I think he heard" I said and she squeezed my hand in reply, nodding slowly. I let go and smiled at her before leaving the library. I had to bite the bullet and deal with this, after an hour of thinking of all the ways to tell him they all disappeared from my head.
I walked up the stairs to the top floor of the Cullen house, I hadn't been up year since the brief time I dated Edward after we kept our distance for a little while. I missed the years we spent up here, building dens and sitting on the balcony overlooking the woods beyond. It was Edwards floor of the house and it was our own little world that I never wanted to leave. But I had had too.
I knocked on the door and a soft "come in" replied. As I opened it Edward was sat on the end of his bed as piano music played quietly in the background. The room was still as neat as ever, and the picture of us as kids still rested on his dresser. The feature wall consisted of hundreds upon hundreds of cds and vinyls all surroundly the stereo system Carlisle bought him for his thirteenth birthday. When he saw me he looked at me blankly and I couldn't for the life of me read him.
"We need to talk," I said going over and sitting next to him on the end of the bed. "I don't know how much you heard..."
"You were pregnant," his voice was emotionless and sounded so unlike Edward it sent a chill down my spine. "You were pregnant and you didn't tell me" he repeated.
"I don't know what to say" I could feel my face going red and the heat and blood rushed to my cheeks in embarrassment. "I didn't know what to do at the time" I said and he shrugged and looked at me. "Edward I didn't know if it was yours or Jaspers, and I couldn't take the chance of it being Jaspers" I looked down at my lap.
"Bella," his voice softened, "I dont want to be mad at you," he paused, "I just, I haven't thought about that in a long time, the way we ended, just always how we were beforehand and how we are now" I could feel his eyes on me, carefully calculating what I was thinking.
"I hated spring term of senior year, I hated it so much not talking to you and having messed everything up with us " my voice cracked at the end and I kept the tears back, I wasn't about to cry again.
"I hated it too and I just wish I could have been there for you and made it" I could hear his teeth grit when he finished talking.
I looked up at him, "made it?" I questioned.
"The morning after that night with Jasper," no words were needed, "and I read your note I drove to Seattle airport immeadiately, I had to stop you getting on that plane-" he paused, holding our eyecontact that was making me feel so warm inside, "I thought that if you got on that plane I would never see you again and I could deal with that". Edward lifted his hand to put a piece of hair behind my ear and I leant into him.
"I never realised this, you never told me" I accused, "things would be different if you had told me."
"I couldn't tell you, not when you came back. I had already gone so far in the drinking and partying that I wasn't who I wanted to be to see you again" he rested his forehead against mine and took at deep breath, "I will never get over you Bella Swan" he said closing his eyes. I starred at him, my body electric and pulsing, I hadn't expected this.
I pulled my face away and put my hands on his chest as he opened his eyes looking at me. "I, Edward I can't do this, I", my heart was beating to fast, everything was starting to hurt.
"Bella..." was the last thing I heard before I hit the ground.bj