Chapter 4: The space between life and death
Before Hope went into the time capsule, he took time to catalogue the visions and prophesies in the oracle drive.
He planned to hide it thereafter to protect it from falling into the wrong hands. It was a terribly laborious and tedious process, but something utterly strange happened as he approached the end.
He heard a voice speaking as the next and final vision started. Strange, for it was one which had never been there when the visions were catalogued by scribes and historians.
It was a woman, or more accurately, a girl. And the stranger thing was, she called him by name. "Hope...Hope Estheim..."
Suddenly he was whisked away into a barren world, his office simply dissolved around him and the walls were replaced by endless, gloomy skies. The sun shone mercilessly through the clouds still, and it was an uncomfortable and ugly world. The rocks were hideous and dry as bones, there was not a single drop of water, not even in the air. And he took a deliberate deep breath, noting that it stripped his windpipe instantly of moisture, it became uncomfortable to breath, with that little experiment he also knew that he was not hallucinating.
Near him stood a mysterious girl, she has the same silver hair as Hope, but it was long and worn loose. She had metal, tribal ornaments braided into the two sides of her head and a veil slung across.
Her appearance was young, maybe 14 or 15, but her eyes told a different, timeless tale of an indefinite age.
Instantly, he knew who she was. And he greeted her as a gentleman should, he extended a hand.
"A pleasure to meet you, Seeress. "
She gave knowing smile which was as enigmatic as her very existence, it was warm and unguarded, and Hope liked her immediately.
"You knew me, but I will never know you. You who will one day inherit my memories. Come, Hope Estheim, walk with me."
After that she gazed pointedly at his hand, seemingly wondering what to do with his hand for a while. "Ahh…" and when Hope got awkward and decided to drop it, she took it and led him along. Her hand was soft and fluttered like a little bird.
He fell into step beside her, firstly as she was a girl and secondly as he felt indebted to her in many ways. In essence, he felt like he had raided her tomb...
"What are you...?" She asked.
"Excuse me?" He asked, caught completely off guard. "Erm, human, I guess. .."
It was a lame answer, and he regretted the moment he said it and bit his lip awkwardly.
She laughed, genuine warmth in her grey eyes. "I can see you are a man. As in, what do you do for a living?"
"Ah...I'm a...physicist." Hope answered, finding a moment to categorize his job.
"…Are physicists all so tall?"
He laughed, a little awkwardly. He had always thought it was Alyssa who was short.
"Not all, I guess." He replied eventually.
She smiled, then turned around, cupped his cheeks and looked him in the eye. Hope was a little shy at the sudden intimate contact, and averted his gaze.
"Hope Estheim. Look at me." She requested.
He did as was requested, making himself look up, and it was the first time he noticed that she still is so child-like. Her nose was short and delicate, and her eyes large and hopeful. He felt a little heartache, she was about the same age as he was when he was turned l'ciel. And he wondered why fate and reality had to be so cruel...
She released his face, smiling in a sorrowful manner. "You have beautiful eyes...Like the colour of clean, healthy skies." She gazed longingly at the sky, as if willing them to turn blue upon her words, and Hope found himself sincerely wishing that with her. He wanted to bring some beauty and fruitfulness into this barren world if he could. He wanted to help her fulfil her wish...
"It will be blue one day..." Hope whispered in return.
She laughed in the same mirthless way so uncannily similar to Lightning.
"How long will that 'one day' take to come?"
"Dunno, give me 500 years and I'll try." He joked.
She laughed again, this time in a knowing way. "You know, you will." His heartbeat quickened for a moment.
She gazed afar, as if envisioning her words. "You will build the greatest civilization known on Gran pulse, you will hear children laughing on the streets you drew blueprints for, and you will turn the sky blue…and the sun will be warm and kind. And all in 400 years."
"Wow." He concealed his exclamation, swearing to tell it to Alyssa the first thing he got back. His heart was set at ease, it would mean that they will survive the time capsule...
"But, I see it now..." she suddenly took his hand and whispered with the ethereal voice of a thousand voices.
"Seeress?"
"You have a beautiful heart as well, but that will unmake you. It will destroy you, unless you choose to destroy first." She squeezed his hand so hard that it hurt.
"...!" Hope gave a muffled gasp. It was the same as the conversation Lightning had with him those years ago...
"Can you do it?" She pleaded, and almost begged. "Can you choose murder? When the time is ripe and the destroyer comes, will you choose to turn your back on everything you are and annihilate the threat to your world?"
"I...!"
With that, she touched his forehead, and a vision flashed before his eyes.
There were two great animals fighting, a white lion and a panther. Day and night by contrast. The animals were enormous, they made the trees and bushes look like toothpicks. The panther was sleek and fast, and much more vicious and aggressive, it made multiple attempts to kill whereas the lion evaded to the best of its ability.
At last, the panther sank it's teeth into the lion's neck. Down they went, massive masses of fur and power, and the lion trashed, blood was everywhere. Then the lion somehow noticed the miniscule city by its side, and twisted out of the panther's grip, blood flailing from it's tore arteries. It tackled the latter onto the ground and raked through its breast bone with sharp claws. It dug deep- literally- until the panther stopped trashing, and bits of internal organs lay everywhere. Then the lion collapsed atop the dead panther. It was a gruesome and nauseating sight, Hope stared unblinkingly at the pair, knowing this is his fate that the seeress was trying to show him.
"Choose, to kill or be killed. That is the way of life..." She whispered, utter grief in her voice.
She turned to him gravely. "You will be the one who can kill Caius..."
"Caius...!" Hope felt a shiver down his spine as fury rose in his heart. That man was the one who dared bringing his blade to bear against Lightning. And by extension, if it were fated that Hope will have to face him one day would mean that he must have cut down every obstacle in his path...
"That man will kill Lightning...?!" He stammered in horror.
Lightning, the strongest warrior he had ever known. His protector, his friend...!
"No...!" He muttered in frustration, biting his lip, he was shaken to the core.
"It may not be a matter of my choice, I don't know if I can beat him when Lightning cannot..." He confessed softly.
"You're running from having to choose." She frowned and pointed out unabashedly. "You are an extremely gifted magician, of power unheard in centuries. And you know it, you have been training to increase the strength of your artes, just so your magic will never wane. That is why Alexander obeys you even now…"
"Shiva obeys Snow too." He pointed out.
"Snow is l'ciel, you are not."
Hope swallowed grimly.
The training were true, he wanted to be able to defend himself and the citadel. He was easily the strongest magician in The Academy, perhaps that was why sometimes even Bahamut will fly by occasionally when he summons, perhaps drawn by the beacon of his magic, he also saw Hecatoncheir before once or twice. The poor creatures looked a little confused, as if wondering where it's summoner was. Bahamut allows Hope to soothe it and ride it, but Hecatoncheir takes flight before he could get close, and usually ends up in some sort of random mischief; quite like its owner…
But he was not sure whether that was enough...
"It will be..." She whispered, as if reading his mind. "You will be the one who chooses, you will be the dam between your world and utter destruction. If you fall, all will."
"That's no choice..." he replied desperately.
The truth is, Hope did not want to kill or hurt anyone...
He had only intentionally hurt and almost killed one person before, and that person is Snow, and he had regretted it forever since, even now the weight of guilt was still enough to leave him staggering and cowering in shame. Especially when the person still saved his life and protected him immediately after...
Wounds like these heal, but they leave a scar that speaks eternally. No matter how bleak or seemingly evil, there was good in the depths of human souls. If he could not believe that, he would have given up and died a long time ago.
"Caius may be...evil..., like you say...he may have killed many and destroyed more...he may even kill Lightning..." Hope muttered, gnashing his teeth, the Seeress only gazed at him impassively.
"But...that does not give me...or anyone else the right to murder him."
She widened her large eyes at that...
"Even if he will potentially do...or may have done terrible things. He's still human...he still has people who care about him. I'm not saying that I know a lot, but don't all of us? I don't know his motive, but he may very well be trying to protect something...or someone he loves...that someone may be waiting for him to go home..."
With that, tears sprang to Hope's eyes, he was unsure if he was talking about himself.
He himself was waiting for Lightning; for his friends to return home...It was hard, but he would wait till he come to the end of himself.
He hadn't realized that the young Seeress was weeping quietly as well, she held his hand, looking like she wanted to scream. But that moment passed and she was somewhat composed again.
"I can't do that..." He whispered with finality, "I don't have the right to take that away..."
He sighed heavily. "He's a person…Nobody has the right to take that away..."
"I won't kill him."
That moment, it seemed that a death sentence was passed. The ground started to churn restlessly, a scream started in that background, and Hope moved defensively in front of her.
"What…?!" He questioned.
Suddenly the brittle world turned even bleaker as the skies turned dark ominously. A scream, sounding like the voices of a thousand slain began sounding in Hope's head and seemingly all around. He covered his ears as the cacophony of noise pierced his eardrums, causing a blinding headache.
"Away with him!" They said in unison. "He is unworthy of the cause!"
"No!" Cried the Seeress. "Ancestors, let your anger not burn. He is but wavering...He will return to the path!" Then she turned to Hope. "Come on, get up!"
"What are they...?!" He asked, scared but curious. They reminded him of the fal'cies, the way they spoke and command; the way they writhed and grieved.
"The lost souls of the dead..." She answered curtly.
"They were counting on me for...revenge...?!" He stuttered, mysteriously miffed.
"Yes..." She whispered, tears in her eyes. "Run! Quickly..."
"But you...!"
"They won't hurt me, they can't..." She said gently. "Live...Survive...for the sake of the future..." She pleaded one last time, looking so torn when she did.
"I..." He whispered.
Then the noise rose with a crescendo, "He is unworthy! This abomination shall be cursed with death!"
Before Hope could gasp in surprise, the spirits stole over and surrounded him. An acute pain burnt into his chest, he crumpled in agony and shock. Clenching his teeth to contain the horrible pain, the Seeress was shouting something, but he could no longer hear. The pain was all consuming...
Ten days you have to consider these words
Minds will clear when you hang on the verge
Of life, of death, of the terrible urge
To choose survival, to murder and hurt...
Hope took a deep breath.
He was facing the ceiling, and Gadot's big face obscured half his vision. "Boss? You okay...?"
Hope nodded shakily, a hand on his throbbing forehead."...What happened?"
"I found you on the office floor."
With that Hope realized that no part of him was touching the floor, he laid suspended-bridal style- across Gadot's heavily muscled, powerful arms. Gadot had lifted and carried him from the office, and they just passed through the door of the infirmary. The nun was as usual, fussing, and shooed anyone who was staring out of the way.
"Director...? You alright?" A colleague asked, and Hope felt his ears burn, by tomorrow the whole world will know that he had fainted.
"Put me down, please, I'm alright." He lied, his embarrassment did not allow otherwise, even though his head was spinning and his limbs felt cold and clammy, he needed to salvage whatever he had left of his dignity.
"You sure?" Gadot pouted, then shrugged. Hope felt a distinct rise and fall, a little like riding a small boat in open sea. "Whatever you say, boss."
His steps shuffled unsteadily when his feet touched the ground, and the nun pushed his shoulders gently, prompting him to sit down on the bed. "You are as white as a ghost, you need to sit down and recover, if not you'll lose consciousness again."
He swallowed, nodding. The nausea reduced a little when he sat down, and his hand went to his forehead.
He wondered if it were real, the Seeress, the prophecy, the curse...
His own body will answer that question in the next ten days. He would go to bed exhausted, and wake up a little weaker and a little bit sicker. The sickness was so stubborn it refused to be thwarted by potions and remedies, his fever climbed steadily to the point where he simply could not focus anymore. And constantly felt like he was on the verge of falling over, meetings were cancelled, contracts were delayed because he could not finish examining the clauses or made mistakes in presentation.
Alyssa tried hurrying him, but he simply cannot hasten his work pace. He could feel the judgmental and condemning gaze of the board members and other researchers alike at his overall incompetence. His main disadvantage was that he was young, people did not tend to take a twenty-something-year-old seriously. The problem was, now he was unable to make it up with detailed preparation and fluency...
He did not blame them for judging him, they were right.
On day six he sat in his own room past midnight, coughing his lungs out. In the past, when he was on the verge of panicking, Lightning had taught to take deep breaths and still his mind, 'In war, cool heads prevail' was her motto.
It used to work, but the issue was that now he could not quite breathe deeply. Any attempts simply triggered another coughing fit that left him breathless and in pain. His ribcage was distinctly sore from exertion, and his body was coated in cold sweat, he shivered from fever and muscle cramps.
He blinked away tears that had mysteriously gathered in his eyes...
Hope was scared, so scared that he wanted to run helter-skelter, to panic to scream. He thought that if he had faced a fate much worse than death itself, then there was nothing he should ever be afraid of ever again. He was wrong on two accounts, one, he was still scared, and two, there was nothing overtly frightful about death, it was the dying part that was terrible. Even though he wanted to, he did not allow himself the luxury of such commonplace responses…
Over the years he had taught himself to frustrate privately; and in a productive fashion. If screaming and worrying and crying did not help, then he won't do it, he will channel the energy to something more effective. Only now there was simply no solution, no amount of plotting or planning will enable him to save himself.
The possibility that he was dying felt so surreal even as he acknowledged it. And he knew that Lightning will despise him for despairing. She never believed in giving up, Hope did not want to as well, but he did not know what it entailed to 'Not give up' in this instance.
He told no one, not even Alyssa, and he doubted if anyone will believe him if he told them what he had seen. The doctor gave him medicines that made him drowsy and tired, but did not seem to ease the symptoms...
"I'm sorry..." He whispered to no one, to everyone, with that, frustrated tears fell from his eyes.
He felt like he had let these people down...he whispered a silent apology in his heart to his father, whom he had not spoken to for a good part of two months, to his vice-director, to Alyssa, to Fang and Vanille and Snow, to Sahz and his son and the cute chocobo chick.
To Lightning...
With that, he coughed again, and when his hand came away, he realized in alarm that there were speckles of crimson.
He closed his fists, letting his hand drop.
When he woke up the next morning, he could not even find strength enough to lift himself off the bed. And he had a funny dream of two people leaning over him and speaking like chipmunks, they were gibbering, and he only caught words like 'facilities' and 'emphysema'.
For first time, Hope considered just sleeping in...
He despised himself even as the thought formed, and with that peeled himself off the sheets forcibly, gasping at the sharp pain that originated from his side, "Wha...?"
He curled up for a while, waiting for the pain to subside. Then gingerly, allow his feet to find the slippers, then stood up with all the strength he was capable of...It had never felt as ardous to change into his uniform.
But he had decided, even if he had to die, he will die fighting. Not anyone else, but himself...
ooo
He opened his eyes, his vision was blurred and he found himself gazing at a white ceiling. It took a few moments for him to collect his bearings and remember that it was the third day since he had been brought to the hospital. He could not remember anything of the fateful journey to New Nautilus beyond Alyssa's cries for help and heavy footsteps tromping into the HQ, which he assumed was Gadot; no one else walks with such gravity. He had since been diagnosed with pneumonia and hence kept in isolation, it was simply a provisional diagnosis since that in essence, he was not sick and medical science can do nothing for curses.
He knew he was getting worst; though the doctors would not tell him so.
His airways were filled with fluid and the infection has spread to the lining around his lungs, filling the space with blood and pus and compressing his chest, he was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe.
The pain was now constant and throbbing, it worsened when he coughed, trying to clear the fluid from his lungs, but his efforts were in vain. He could barely find enough air to stay awake and his fever never subsided. Hope felt like he was drowning slowly, he was nauseous and giddy with asphyxiation. He tried, but could not even find strength enough to lift himself off the bed, his limps were cold and numb. He wanted to panic, to get up and curse his body for this untimely sickness; but he could not do so.
He did his best to remain calm when Alyssa gowned up and approached him, looking as if there was something she did not want to say. These days, she was constantly on the verge of tears, she got reprimanded for not taking good-enough-care of Hope, and Hope was guilty for it as it was simply not true.
Alyssa was his research assistant, not his nanny. He comforted her repeatedly to the best of his creativity and ability, but he had not seen her smile for days. She sat down beside him for a while, and it took her a few minutes before she finally uttered.
"They told me…You need to write a Will. And I'm supposed to help you do that…"
Hope was not surprised. With all the speech he was capable of, he said only three words.
"Bring Eliza, please…"
"What…?" Alyssa asked blankly, then realizing what he meant and that he would not repeat himself, she stood up and nodded, "Alright. Hang on, I'll call the Vice-director now."
Hope nodded appreciatively and closed his eyes for a bit, swallowing to moisten his throat. He waited, he did not know when he drifted off into unconsciousness, but he awoke to someone patting him on the shoulder.
Eliza Chivaroy appeared beside him, only her intelligent olive eyes were still visible through the get-up, but Hope recognized his Vice-director immediately. She is a 48 year-old bioengineer who was widowed by the purge, her child had sustained head injuries in the chaos and subsequently died. In essence she and Hope were denominated by a sense of loss and survival's guilt.
She was a researcher through and through, her excellence and brilliance and experience sometimes made Hope think that she deserved the position far more than he did. But she assisted him well and willingly, choosing to retreat to the background on the grounds that she did not want to deal with hypocrites and idiots. She was funny to boot, often making their hectic work-life a little more entertaining. Unlike Alyssa, she is completely autonomous in her work; and often her opinion of things. If she thinks Hope should sleep more, she doesn't ask his for his opinion, she simply dopes his coffee with sleeping pills. Then laughs at him when he wakes up somewhere in the middle of town…
She smiled, but the smile did not reach her eyes; it was the first time Hope saw tears in them. "You asked, so I'm here."
He gave a minuscule nod, and with the last of his strength, he reached to take her hand. His actions were retarded and jagged, and when she realized what he was trying to do, she cupped his hand in both of hers, delicately avoiding the needles.
"Hey, you don't have to worry, I know what you want to say, I am here to say it to you." She sighed, and looked him in the eye, "Director Estheim, I'm your man. I'll see the projects to completion, I don't like those morons in the government, but I'll do my best to communicate with them. And if need be…I'll travel 400 years into the future in your place to levitate the new Cocoon. There are intricacies in the work that I may not be familiar with, but Alyssa will help me." She tilted her head towards Alyssa, who nodded contritely behind her, hiding her face.
With that, Hope's fears dissipated like a mist, he nodded fervently to express his gratitude; he could do no better. Tears of relief sprang to his eyes, if he died, his only, and eternal regret will be that he was unable to do anything he had set out to do…And he hoped that with this, his friends will forgive him, and he will finally be released of the terrible burden that had plagued him since Lightning's disappearance…
"Thank…you…" He whispered.
She only tweaked his forehead playfully, "Don't say that. This doesn't mean that you can slack and skive off, I say it just so because you can stop worrying and focus on getting well. You are still young and you're the bravest person I know, surely you'll pull through this. You still need to come back to the field and fend off those dreadful, oversized cockroaches. Without you, they are multiplying like nobody's business."
Hope squeezed out a smile. He recalled the initial cockroach infestations at the pass and how no female researcher would willingly step out into the plains. All it took was a little fire magic, easy-wheezy.
"…I'm sorry." He had whispered with finality to his vice-director.
Hope was falling, falling through nothingness.
ooo
Noel opened his eyes, and took a deep, deep breath, he gazed around in bewilderment.
He was back in the physical realm, Hope was now in front of him, looking paler than ever, "Hope...?" There was something stinging his palm, he looked down to realize that the crystalline device in his hand has shattered. His blood ran cold...
"Are you alright?" Xeno asked, shaking him. "We almost lost you as well!"
"...As well...?!" the phrase resonated in his head like a death declaration, confirming his dread. He took Hope's wrist, and pressed two fingers across; there was nothing, no pulse, nothing.
"Oh no..." He shook his head, "It can't be...!"
"It's no use..." Xeno muttered in despair as he buried his face in his hands, "...and we just lost Alicia. Give it up...Hope is gone...His heart has stopped, within four minutes his brain will shut down too. There's no hope..."
"It cannot be...!" Noel cried, taking Hope's shoulders and shaking his desperately.
"Hope, come back...come back!"
Ooo
"Hope...Oh, Hopey~~~." There was someone calling his name in a sing-song voice, that voice was so familiar that it pleaded with his consciousness, seeking to be recognized.
"Kiddo! Wake up..." Someone actually pulled his ear at that. This voice was lower, more woman than girl, and threatened physical violence.
He shook himself, trying to blink out the grogginess in his pounding head.
"Fang..." the girlish voice berated, swatting the hand off his ear and laughing, "Hope's hardly a child now, look how handsome he is. Oooo, he's waking up...!"
Fang...? Then the other one must be...
Fang retorted coolly "Still reckless, still a kid."
With that, Hope forced himself to open his eyes, and looked around listlessly. His gaze fixated on Vanille's face, then Fang's.
"It's about time." Fang said as she bonked Hope on the head.
Hope crawled to his knees, staring unblinkingly at his comrades; his friends, those whom he had tried so hard to save. They haven't aged at all in crystal stasis, they looked like what they did those years ago as they battled against the fal'cie. Unbidden, tears came to his eyes, and he realized he did not know what to say.
Vanille did her ice-breaking magic, she shrouded Hope in an embrace, whispering. "You've been working so hard."
He hesitated, then slowly, his arms wrapped about her, returning the hug "I'm sorry...I'm really sorry..." He sobbed, broken.
"For what?"
"...I couldn't save the two of you...!" He whispered miserably. "I..."
"Don't apologize..." Fang said with finality, punching him lightly on the shoulder. "Not yet, it's just not yet time."
He looked up, gazing at Fang, "Really? But...I...am I dead?" He stuttered.
"Almost, pretty much..." Fang scratched her head while Vanille screeched simultaneously, "No! Don't say that, you'll be fine..."
Fang laughed, as if amused at his empty worry. "Nay...the only reason why you are able to see us now was because you did not give in to Caius's temptation. You would only be truly dead if you did."
Hope felt his jaw slacken as Vanille explained, "We have been watching you through the timelines, what you did, how you protected Serah and Noel...Your soul is fragmented almost beyond repair, and you will need to go back soon or you'll sucked into the afterlife. We are somewhere in between those two realms."
"I...don't know how to go back..." He confessed after a while. "Where...are we...?"
He gazed around for the first time since he had awakened, taking in his queer surroundings. They were in an empty space, there were no sounds, nothing. The ground beneath was rough grey stone, there were no walls, only a void, a blanket of stardust beyond where land ended. It was a timeless place, even the air felt stale. In the middle of the floor was a large hole, a majestic and intricately ornate throne rose from the middle of the chasm. Seemingly anchored to nothing, but as Hope gazed upon the figure on the throne, his throat ran dry.
A crystal figurine sat atop the throne, beautiful in eternity, she was evidently female, and his eyes widened when he recognized her face...
"Lightning...?" He cried, leapt to his feet and started running towards his friend. Fang took hold of his lapels bodily before he got too near the edge. "Kiddo, watch it! It's a long fall."
"Why...?!" He questioned in distraught, struggling against her grip. "How...? She couldn't have lost to that bastard...!"
Of all the possibilities in the oracle drive, he had prayed hardest for this particular one not to be true. It could only mean that Lightning was defeated by Caius, and would be stuck in Valhalla for eternity...
Vanille yelled, "Hope, listen! Lightning never lost, and she did not lose to Caius...!"
"Then why?" He demanded, unable to take his eyes off the crystal statue.
Lightning was as beautiful as ever, her hair was swept to one side, each strand frozen in eternal glory. She looked solemn and regal, like a high judge, an empress; a goddess. But there was a trace of anguish on her beautiful face, as if dark thoughts were plaguing her in her crystal sleep.
"She is trying to protect something..." Fang declared.
Hope gave up struggling. He just slumped against his friends, completely spent, and crumpled to the floor. Strength seemed to drain from his body...
In the end, all his efforts, his life, his work, his achievements, his sacrifice was all for naught. He could not save this one person he fought so hard to save. And he could not even muster the strength to cry, he wanted to, but his heart was exhausted and strangely empty, just as his hands were...
And Vanille gasped as she held him tighter, he suddenly realized his hands were turning transparent. He was starting to feel light, and in some sense, contented. It feels as if the molecules that made up his body were evaporating, and he gave in to the silent draw.
He closed his eyes, willing to stop feeling.
It's over...
"Hope, come on resist it! It's not time to give up!"Vanille implored, pulling away. She slapped him once. "Snow knows this too. One day, you can save the world, you can save Lightning. You have to survive!"
"Really...?" He perked up, dragging himself out of the stupor. "I...can...?"
"No more time for questions, go back, now!" Fang snapped, "...Shut up and listen to that boy's voice, he hasn't given up, he has been calling you...Follow him back before it's too late...!"
Hope followed the advice, stilling the buzzing in his head and listened. The inner voice magnified, though indefinitely small, it was unmistakably Noel who was screaming urgently at him.
"Hope, come back!"
"Lightning will reawaken! And you will save her, but you have to be alive to do that! We were not able to be with you, but you have new friends now…" Vanille gazed gently into his eyes and said with forced cheerfulness. "Go...! Go back…"
He studied Vanille for a while, and nodded. Then turned to gaze at Lightning longingly one more time, climbing to his feet.
He squared his shoulders like a soldier and looked at her, paying his respects befitting of her as a friend, also as a warrior.
"Lightning. I…"
Suddenly, steps congealed out of thin air, they seemed to be made of nothing but a soft blue light. He watched in amazement as the steps continued to form, gradually bridging the chasm between him and the throne with stairs made of ethereal light, it was an open invitation.
"Wow, that has never happened before." Fang whistled, appearing completely unfazed."Well, go."
Hope swallowed, and stepped onto the first step gingerly, the blue light bore his weight as would solid ground. And it seemed as if he consisted of light as well. He tested by shifting his weight a little, then made his way up the stairs swiftly.
As he ascended, he felt courage fill him and wrap around his heart like a security blanket. He realized he was eager to be by Lightning's side, it would always feel so safe for he knew she would always defend him.
But now, as he stood before her and gazed at her gentle but strong features, his fingers slowly reached to brush non-existent dirt off her cheek.
Somehow… this time it had become the other way around. It was his turn.
Hesitantly, he reached her arms around her and held her cold, unyielding form in his arms.
"Lightning...You have always protected me...now I will protect you..."
He paused, letting out a breath.
"I promise..."
With that, he felt at ease, as if the universe had suddenly become whole, and he yielded to the draw to evaporate into nothingness. He closed his eyes with a sigh. it was bliss, knowing all is not lost...
At least he would still remember her in this eternal moment...
Ooo
Noel's head jerked up as he realized there was a throb beneath his hold. He stopped yelling for a moment, and as he touched Xeno's back, "Stop sobbing, see..."
There was a bloom of colour across Hope's cheeks, it was followed by a gasp, like a diver surfacing out of the deep, then a few dry coughs.
He opened his blue-green eyes, looking around until he found Noel. As he got up, his actions were jagged, as if he was having trouble coordinating. But his eyes were clear and determined.
"Thank you...you did not give up..." Hope whispered in gratitude.
"Oh my goodness!" Xeno exclaimed, "You're...!"
"Alive, I believe." Then added in afterthought of jest. "Not quite a zombie. Hi, Xeno."
"Hey…!" Noel gushed in relief, resisting the urge to throw his arm around the miracle, it was Hope who gave him a one-arm hug, "Rest for now, it's okay."
"What…?" Noel questioned just as a wave of nausea and giddiness swept past his senses, and he would have vomited if there was anything in his stomach.
He could feel his heart pounding in his ears and he could feel his hands shivering, there was a feeling of being suffocated, and he panted and took in large gulps of air, trying to get enough oxygen into his lungs. It was nothing like the fatigue he had experienced before, it was something else. Hope's face shifted in and out of focus as his vision swam, Noel turned to Xeno for explanation, suddenly afraid.
"It's the reflex reaction from 'Dive to the heart'", Xeno whispered worriedly, examining his pupils and placing a hand over his heart, counting. "He pushed himself too hard…luckily no fibrillations." He turned to Noel, "Hey kid, well done. You gotta sleep for now, you body will recover on its own."
Noel only nodded grimly, Hope shifted and laid him down gently at that.
He did not want to rest, he knew that now that Hope is awake, he would jump straight into battle, and Noel had failed to protect him once, he did not want to fail again. It seemed unfair and dreadful to sleep while Hope fought with the worst adversary ever, but his body demanded otherwise.
"Sorry…" He gripped Hope's wrist, Hope only shook his head, "There's nothing to forgive, "You saved my life…so I can face my destiny, it is enough. Sleep."
He obeyed, and before he went under, he whispered to Hope. "Don't die."
"…I can't promise that." He bonked Noel on the head playfully, "But I'll try."
Ooo
Hope is an adult and Noel is not! But actually I liked the interaction between the two.
As I looked through the info for Hope's characterization from FF XIII and XIII-2, I realized that there is a marked theme, a hallmark for his character. If I have to place a caption to it, it will be 'The gentle giant', or 'The martyr'. Someone who is so acutely acquainted with loss that he cannot bear to see others fall prey to the same hurt, and would stand at the forefront of the tide of sorrows and be the first to sacrifice himself. In essense, he and Caius are quite alike. Caius is not evil, just the other side of the coin, we think he is, because players perceive from Lightning's side of the story. And interesting-and irritating- thing about the game.
Lolz. I am an all-for-lightningXHope fic.
Like I mentioned in the last chapter, in Lightning returns, let there be lots and lots of Lightning and Hope interaction! Come on, Enix, you are into popularity votes, aren't you? Mwhahahaha!
The next chapter will be the last.
R&R ppl! Thank you!