Title: I Need You to Understand
Verse: You're Breaking
Characters/Pairing: Tim, Jason, mentions of Jack, implied JasonTim
Rating: NSFW, M, some triggers such as sexual and child abuse, it's not really descriptive but it's still yeah
Excerpt: Jason knows that Tim's fucked up. He knows and doesn't understand how B and Dickie can't see it. Fucking idiots. So when they get back to his apartment and Tim's still quiet Jason damn well knows something's wrong. Because it's not the same type of quiet that Tim normally exudes.
Jason knows that Tim's fucked up. He knows and doesn't understand how B and Dickie can't see it. Fucking idiots. So when they get back to his apartment and Tim's still quiet Jason damn well knows something's wrong. Because it's not the same type of quiet that Tim normally exudes.
This one's different.
He finds out how damn right he is when he sets Tim down and fucking falls backwards. Tim's straddling his waist, grinding down and kissing Jason with a need that Jason doesn't understand. Doesn't want to understand right now because Jason's fucking shit-faced and Tim's vulnerable.
Fuck, when did he start thinking of Tim as vulnerable - as Tim?
Jason manages to flip them sometime between Tim's hand going down his pants and thinking that Tim is really good at this.
Tim shouldn't be so good at this.
The socially awkward babybird, who scripts his meetings with other people so he doesn't freak out, shouldn't be so good at this. That's who Tim is. So Tim really, really shouldn't be so fucking good at this.
It takes a moment, in his drunken haze, for Jason to realize Tim's just staring up at him from where Jason's pinned him to the floor.
"Damn Replacement, Tim I'm fucking drunk."
Tim stares at him for a moment before nodding slowly. "Yes. This is what family does for each other."
Jason's fucking floored. Who the hell- who the fucking goddamned hell taught babybird that? He'll kill them. Kill them slow and fucking painfully. Because shit no, family doesn't do this for each other unless both want to. Tim shouldn't want to. Tim shouldn't. He just fucking shouldn't.
"That's damn well wrong Tim. Family fucking takes care of each other. Not fuck with them, literally sometimes, especially the fucking kids."
Tim doesn't seem to understand. He's frowning and staring up at Jason with those fucking pretty blue eyes. Jason doesn't know what to do. This isn't what he was expecting. Not at all and -
fucking shit. Jason relaxed his grip subconsciously and Tim took advantage of that to wrap one arm around his neck and put the other back down on his cock. Jason feels Tim squeeze, twisting his wrist and smoothly running his fingers along the underneath of his cock. It's fucking fantastic and he can -
Tim shouldn't fucking know how to do this.
It takes a few minutes for Jason to be able to manhandle Tim off him again and into a better pin on the floor. Tim looks devastated and opens his mouth but Jason beats him to it.
"We're not doing this Tim. Not now and not fucking ever if you think this is all I want," Jason's getting angry now. Because Tim can't understand what he's trying to say and he wants to fucking kill whoever taught Tim this. Whoever burned the lessons so deep in Tim's mind he can't fucking erase them. "Fuck. You're not supposed to have to do this. You're supposed to be a kid still. Fuck."
"I've always done this. I would do it for Bruce too."
That makes Jason see red because Bruce isn't Tim's family. Not after all the fucking shit he's pulled; Bruce has no claim on Tim.
A hand on Jason's cheek and lips upon his own brings Jason out of the anger. He'd slammed his fist next to Tim's head but what did the fucking idiot do? Kiss him to get rid of the fucking anger.
He leans back and releases half of his grip on Tim. It turns out to be a mistake because Jason doesn't react fast enough and Tim's mouth is warm around his cock. His tongue is sweeping lightly across the vein at the bottom and Tim's swallowing-
Jason barely manages to make himself pull Tim off. Because it felt so fucking good and Tim, just. But Jason won't be another one to do this to Tim. He fucking won't.
"I'm fucking shitfaced babybird. We're not doing this. Not tonight. We're going to go to sleep on the fucking bed and just sleep. Then tomorrow we're going to talk and I mean talk. About fucking everything: where you learned this, how Bruce has been treating you, why family doesn't do this shit. We're going to talk and I'm going to be fucking sober."
He can see Tim doesn't want to but Jason's not giving Tim a goddamned fucking choice. Not when he bodily picks Tim up and throws him on the bed before pinning him to the bed in a way Tim can't move.
"We're going to fucking sleep. So fucking go to sleep."
Jason doesn't remember why there's a warm body pinned underneath him but it's comfortable. Until he remembers why Tim's there. 'Fuck, fuck, shit fuck, fuckity fucking hell.'
Jason really doesn't want to do this. But family takes care of each other so he's going to suck it the fuck up and deal because he's the only one of this fucking family to do something for Tim.
Tim's awake and staring at him when Jason finally opens his eyes, "Hey."
"Hello."
He looks like he didn't get any sleep and Jason deposits him in his kitchen chair while he rummages for some food Tim'll eat.
"If you move a fucking inch I'm tying you to the b- fucking rafters, upside down."
Tim just nods looking back at him with those fucking eyes. There's something in them that Jason can't identify. So he makes breakfast and sets it in front of Tim with an order to eat. Tim does so reluctantly.
When they're finished Jason lets Tim help clean because he's twitching and looking at the dishes. He settles Tim back on the bed and leans against the wall opposite it, below the window.
"So. Why'd you hunt me down?"
Tim looks at him from under his bangs. "I saw the video."
"Yeah, doesn't explain why you hunted me the fuck down. Coulda asked B."
Tim looks away and shrugs, not answering. Fucking hell this conversation is like pulling teeth.
"B's a shitty dad. He should be the father he was to me because I died knowing he loved me. Fuck, Tim you nearly kill your fucking idiot self on a weekly basis and does the fucking asshole tell you he loves you? No. Because, to you, he's a fucking shitty-ass dad.
You're not a tool. You're not a fucking robot. You matter and you fucking saved his life. You saved his life and he fucking treats you like this. It's not right. It's not what families do. Trust me babybird. I learned from my fucking family's mistakes about what families are supposed to do or not do. Forcing you to have sex, neglecting, treating you like trash are not anything right."
Tim doesn't respond through Jason's entire rant. So Jason sighs, resting his chin on his knee and watches Tim.
"He'd come into my room."
Jason manages not to start, it's been about three hours since they've been at this standstill and Jason wasn't sure Tim was going to speak to him at all.
"He'd come into my room when Mother, and then Dana, were sleeping. 'That's what family does son'. That's what he'd say. It was my sixth birthday present."
Jason feels sick because he understands where Tim learned it now: Jack fucking Drake. Tim's own father.
"So that's was family does. So, I don't understand why you say no. Why you don't accept it. Why you can't let me do this for you. Because, because this is what families do. Families. Families do this for each other. Why won't you let me? You. The video. I thought. I thought you'd want me to. Because I can be helpful. I can be useful. You went after Bruce for me. So, so I can do this for-"
Jason lets Tim ramble because he needs to get it out. But also because Jason is fucking starting to panic on the inside. He doesn't know what to do. Should he hug Tim, leave him alone, let him leave? He doesn't fucking know. So he shares. Shares something that he's never told anyone, because he was ashamed. But if it helps Tim now he can share it.
"I was eight."
Tim flinches at his voice, tears streaming silently down his face. He looks confused at the interruption so Jason clears his throat.
"I was eight and this asshole who lived down the corner from us followed me to the store. We were by an alley and. Well, he fucking pulled me into it and covered my mouth. Shoved it in and left me raw, bleeding and fucking terrified."
He hopes Tim understands because he doesn't know what to fucking do anymore. Except be there. He can be there, damned well better be there, and be patient waiting for Tim to understand.
"People aren't supposed to fucking do that to you babybird. Especially not family."
Maybe Tim does because he nods slowly.
