Author's note:

Hey everyone, thank you for taking the time to read my story! Please let me know what you think and review, I'd really appreciate it. If you have any questions, ideas, comments, etc. Just PM or review! Here you have chapter 4!

Enjoy,

Love,

EvilGirlLovesWriting

Chapter 4: Hatred

Jasper's POV

She saw them. She saw my scars. Now what?

I had no idea what was going to happen. I felt what she was feeling, fear, anger and something I could only describe as intense hatred.

'Mia?' I asked hesitantly. I wanted her to answer me with a smile, an actual smile that would tell me everything was fine. Instead she forced one as she picked up the bag she'd dropped when she saw me, and looked at the door.

'Time to go to school.' She said, not able to look me in the eye. 'Let's go.'

I was biting my lip, which is something vampires did not do, normal vampires anyway. I just couldn't help it right now, it was as if my body was moving on automatic pilot. I didn't know what I was doing. The only thing I did know was that she was radiating a haze of calm and I knew she was doing that herself, to keep me out.

We both kept silent while heading to school. She stared out of the window all the way, not even glancing at me once. I, on the other hand, was thinking of what to say to her to make her understand, glancing at her every few seconds just to make sure she was still there. I was afraid she might actually just decide it would be better to disappear. Being a vampire, she could if she wanted to, so I had to reassure myself that she was still in the car.

Eventually I gave up, not able to think of anything that could make her understand and not be frightened of me. Vampires were instinctive creatures. When seeing vampire marks on other vampires, especially as many as I had, they felt like they had to protect themselves. Even Carlisle had felt it the first time he saw me, when Alice brought me in. There was no fighting that instinct, and I knew it. it took Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme a long time before they could control that feeling, but I knew it still was there, deep below the surface. Alice never had it, well not strong enough for me to pick up on it, but that was because she could see I wasn't a danger.

I had hated that protective feeling coming from my family, but right now I hated it even more. Of course I didn't 'feel' it coming from Mia's haze of calm, but that calm was reason enough to fear. She wouldn't be keeping me out if she wasn't scared, right?

I wanted to crash the car into something, just to get rid of the self hatred building inside of me. I had hidden the scars from sight yesterday, like I normally did, wearing long sleeves like everyone would with this weather. Truth is I had forgotten all about them when choosing my clothes for the day, which was stupid. I should've taken into account that she hadn't seen them, I should've remembered.

I guess I was remembered, just too late. I was reminded the moment she suddenly dropped her bag and stared at me. That was the first time she saw them, and I was pretty sure it would be the last time too. She probably wouldn't want me anywhere near her in the future.

We arrived at school and I wanted to get the door for her, but she wouldn't let me. She got out on her own and faced the rest of my family, who had arrived before us, with a deep frown on her face. I was frowning myself as she still wouldn't look at me.

'What's up Mia?' Emmett asked her, cocking his head to the side in concern. He had just met her a day ago but he was already starting to feel a certain protectiveness towards her. It was amazing how a big guy like Emmett could be such an emotional guy, but then again everyone was emotional, I knew that. Well except for Mia right now.

She snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of his voice, the frown making place for a smile, a fake one though.

'Nothing. I'm fine.' She said, but her voice sounded strange, as if she was trying to hide something. A human wouldn't be able to hear it, but we did. She didn't explain why she was frowning, nor did she explain why she was trying to find a way out of the conversation like she was doing. Looking around the parking lot she quickly spotted Jessy, surrounded by some other people, and waved a small goodbye to us before she left towards them. Leaving everyone frowning after her.

I fucked up, I thought. Feeling despair take a hold of me. I totally fucked up this time.

'What is going on?' Emmett asked, confused by the way Mia had acted.

Edward narrowed his eyes after her. 'She saw Jasper's scars.' He said and I shot him a glare for prowling around in my thoughts. I normally didn't mind but right now I wanted him out.

'Alice, did you see-?' Rosalie started asking. Alice grimaced, following Mia with her eyes. 'I did,' she interupted Rosalie. 'I didn't see how she would react to them though. I'm still not sure.' She frowned, sounding confused herself.

I laughed humorlessly. 'Not sure? She can't even look at me. I think I know how she is reacting.'

I didn't wait for an answer from any of them, what did they know? They hadn't been there the moment she saw me. The look of total horror on her face. I shook my head but the image was stuck in my mind and wouldn't leave me alone. I turned around and walked towards the woods, soon breaking into a sprint at vampire speed. It wasn't like I could actually go to school right now, that wouldn't be smart at all. I wanted to break something, and that wasn't a mood you wanted to be in as a vampire, especially not in a class full of kids who were so fragile. When I stopped at the same spot I'd talked to her before, I grinded my teeth together. That's when I heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps, a deer's.

A growl escaped my lips as I headed for the animal. Not because I was thirsty, but rather because I was pissed. This animal would suffer before dying and however bad I would feel about that later, right now I didn't care.

Mia's POV

As I was making my way towards Jess I felt sick. I quickly decided I wasn't in the mood for any of her questions about Jasper right now, which she would surely have, and went to my first class early instead. All the way to the classroom I felt the image of the scars haunting me. The thought of Jasper having fought like that, of him being in danger, I couldn't describe what it did to me. The idea of him getting hurt in a fight made it feel like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and cut into a million pieces. I knew how much a vampire bite hurt, and the thought of him being in pain like that, it was too much. I wanted to hunt every single one of those vampires down and kill them all, that hatred burnt through me like nothing I'd ever felt before, it scared me a bit.

I thought maybe the teacher could distract me, how naive of me. Of course he couldn't, everything he told the class I already knew, which made it only easier for my mind to wander off. Eventually I asked if I could go to the restroom, wanting to get the hell out of this place.

I sighed before going into the restroom, which was empty. I needed some time alone, and believe it or not a restroom does the trick. I stared at myself in the mirror, my green eyes filled with fear, fear for Jasper. Suddenly the door opened and Rosalie came walking in. She wasn't looking very happy but her eyes showed worry and wonder as well.

'Do you hate him now?' She asked, not fazed by my presence. She probably knew I was in here, probably came in for that very reason.

I knew who she was talking about and frowned. 'What?' I asked her in surprise. 'No, of course not.' The thought of hating Jasper was something that I could not grasp. How could I ever?

'He thinks you do.' She said, gauging my reaction.

'He what!?'

'He believes you don't want anything to do with him anymore.' I could hear she was telling me the truth and I stared at her for what felt like hours.

'But that's crazy.' I whispered, still not understanding what the hell was going on right now. Why would he think I hated him? How did he come up with something as crazy as that?

'Why did you react like you did if 'that's crazy'?' Her eyes were penetrating me, demanding an explanation.

I bit my lip, suddenly realizing how Jasper could think I hated him. I had pretty much ignored him after seeing the scars, of course he would think that. I'd fucked this up bad.

I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly, 'I couldn't take it.' I whispered. 'The thought of what must've happened to him. The pain he must've been through. It hurt.'

Rosalie's look softened for a second, but soon changed back into the same penetrating gaze she'd had before. She narrowed her eyes slightly, 'I don't understand why he likes you so much, why he doesn't want to lose you, I mean I don't trust you and neither should he. But right now that doesn't matter. He's gone into the woods, probably feeling pissed at himself. You better fix that.' She hissed and then stalked out of the bathroom.

I didn't have time to dwell over what she said, instead I hurried out of the building. The teacher would probably report the fact I never came back to class, but that wasn't what I cared about right now. I ran towards the woods and the moment I was out of sight I sprinted towards the same spot we had talked before, hoping he would be there, at vampire speed.

I found him staring across the water, a tormented look on his face. My heart ached as I saw him like this, even more than it had at the sight of his scars. He was in pain and I'd caused it. Why the fuck did I have to overreact like I did? I asked myself, knowing the answer to that question. I couldn't help it. The same way that I hadn't been able to help saying yes to his invitation to come meet his family. There was just something about this guy that made me do things without reasons.

'Jasper..' I said. He looked up, startled, which was amazing considering he should've been able to hear me coming from miles away. His eyes were wide, 'Mia.' He said. Then his face changed, 'Did Rosalie send you?' He asked.

I nodded and he laughed with no humor. 'She really does care about us, even though it doesn't always show.' He turned back to the water, not saying anything else.

I hesitated a moment before walking up to him, not too close because the scars still made my stomach knot itself up. How the hell had I missed them before? Even with the long sleeves. His neck had exactly the same marks as his arms had, which meant I should've noticed them. I knew however that I had been too caught up with him to notice anything else other than just him. I hadn't studied him like I had this morning before, that was how I had missed them. It didn't make me feel any better knowing why though.

'Jasper, she told me you think I hate you now..' I whispered, not sure how else to start the conversation. I couldn't see his eyes anymore and cursed him for it. I wanted to be able to see what he was feeling. 'I don't, you know.' I then said, this time my voice was just above a whisper.

He heard it though and he turned around, looking surprised. Soon though his look turned wary and he narrowed his eyes, 'Did she tell you to say that?' He asked.

I shook my head, 'Of course not. Jasper, please believe me.' I said taking a step forward and pleading him with my eyes. I wanted him to know I didn't hate him, that I could never hate him but he didn't seem to. He got up and walked towards me, staying a few feet away and making me want to scream as he did. I had the feeling he was the one hating me right now and I couldn't take it.

'I don't know how I can. You practically locked up when you saw my scars, how am I to believe you aren't mad at me, or even worse, afraid of me?' He asked, a flash of pain crossing his face as he remembered.

I stared at him, only knowing one way to prove to him that I did not hate, or fear, him. I let my guard up now, trying to keep the hatred I was still feeling for the vampires who did it to him at bay as much as possible. I wasn't feeling scared though, and that he could see.

'Jasper. I'm not scared of you, I'm scared for you. When I saw your scars I remembered things I didn't want to remember. And the vampires who did this to you, you don't know how much I want to kill them.' I said, my eyes as pleading as before.

His face softened and hope formed in his eyes. I decided to go on, I had to make him believe me. I don't know what he had been through in his life, but it was too much. I wanted, no I needed him to know I was there for him.

'I don't hate you and I'm not scared of you. I won't ever be, because I know what you are like. Seriously Jasper, I haven't talked normally with vampires for decades. I've been avoiding them for so long. When I saw you though I just couldn't help myself, I had to talk to you. You were the one who made me feel like I started to have friends again, ones who aren't technically alive. Please believe me when I say that I don't hate you. I could never.'

That's when a small smile formed on his lips as he was still looking me in the eye. 'I don't understand it. I only just met you and already the feeling of you hating me is unbearable.' He said softly, sounding just a bit confused himself.

I felt a grin spread on my face in repsponse, my heart fluttering at what he said.

'Then it's good I don't.' I told him with a wink and he laughed, the sound making me want to hug him. Instead I walked up to the rocks and sat down, patting beside me. He came sitting next to me, in silence. Then he looked up at me and started talking, talking about his past.

'The vampire who changed me. Her name was Maria. When I met her I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, it turns out she was more than just a woman. She changed me and took me in as her mate, and commander in chief. I would be the one to go out and recruit newborns for her army. With my gift it was easy to see who formed a threat and who didn't. Early newborns though, the ones who were just days old, are very bipolar, as you know. Their feelings sometimes changed to quickly and I wouldn't be able to defend myself anymore.'

'And that's where the scars come from...' I whispered.

He nodded, looking sad. I took his hand and squeezed it, encouraging him to continue.

'I killed more than two hundred vampires, new and old, and I remember every single murder perfectly.' He whispered, looking pained.

'What changed?' I asked him. 'Why did you leave her?'

He chuckled. 'Another vampire, Peter. He was my second in command. He fell in love with one of the newborns I had to kill, and they ran away together. I let them go and followed in their footsteps soon. Didn't really have a choice because if Maria found out I would be in trouble.'

'So, Maria is still alive?' I asked, feeling the same hatred I'd felt for the ones who did this to him, only trippled, towards her. If she was I was going to kill her someday, that's promise.

He shrugged, 'She might still be, probably is. She always had amazing survival instincts.'

I nodded, thinking of the beautiful woman and feeling jealousy take over. She had Jasper as her mate and that pissed me off for some reason.

Jasper chuckled quietly as he sensed it, eyeing me. 'You're jealous of a first degree murderer?'

I would've blushed were I able to. 'Yeah,' I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. 'I've always wanted to become a murderer.' I tried to lighten the mood with a joke but it wasn't really working. Wrong joke I guess.

He cocked his head to the side and inspected me, 'You never did?'

I raised my eyebrows, 'Mmm?' I asked.

'You never killed anyone?'

I looked away, feeling bad instantly. Like I said, wrong joke. 'I did.' I admitted. 'I killed my grandmother.'

He squeezed my hand this time and sighed. 'You're not a monster though.'

I smiled, looking up him. 'Neither are you.'

He snorted, 'Yeah right. Try to convince the humans I killed of that.' I wanted to protest but he cut me off. 'I have a hard time dealing with the scent of blood. I've fed on humans since I wad turned and when Alice led me to-,' he hesitated a second. 'To my family I had the hardest time adjusting. I couldn't handle the classroom. The sound of blood, the sweet smell nor the beating hearts of the students around me. So don't tell me I'm not a monster when I obviously am.'

I shook my head, waiting for him to look me in the eye before telling him what I was thinking.

'A monster does things without regret. A monster kills for pleasure. You are not a monster.'

'But-'

'No.' I cut him off. 'You gave up on drinking human blood. I believe that says enough about who you are. Even after all those years you're willing to try.'

He looked away and then chuckled. 'You're the weirdest vampire I have ever met.' He said jokingly. 'I like it.'

I smiled at that, for once happy that I wasn't normal.