Chapter 4

The Difficulty in Saying No

The hallway outside Ginny's flat looked exactly the same as it had when they'd lived together. Though a little grungy from wear and tear, you could tell it was a decent area and that the flats were worthy of the word 'nice'.

Harry glared at the door for more then a minute before raising his fist and knocking it firmly against the door. He listened carefully for movement inside and eventually heard a scuffle and the dull thud of socked feet moving softly against the wood floor. The door was unlocked and then opened.

Ginny had opened the door. But her back was turned and she was speaking to someone. When she'd turned to Harry, she suddenly closed the door so nothing but her face could be seen. Her eyes were startled, and her hair, which was pulled back, was messy, as if she'd just woken up. The shocked look on her face beat even his when Ron had come calling on Harry.

Ginny didn't say a word.

So Harry took the opening line. "Hey" he muttered, careful to keep his emerald eyes on her deep chocolate ones.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, almost accusingly, her brow furrowed.

Suddenly, Harry realized he couldn't tell her what he wanted to. He couldn't tell her he was ready for a relationship. If she'd done to him what he'd done to her, he would've thrown it back in her face and hung her out to dry.

"I just wondered how you were," Harry somehow managed to sputter out. Carefully, he added, "I've missed you, Ginny."

"Harry, listen," she said, careful to keep the door as closed as possible. "This really isn't a good time. Do you think we could share drinks in a few hours? How about 1 o'clock? The Leaky Cauldron?"

"Yeah," he said, perking up.

"Great. I'll see you then."

But Harry, who had been studying her face for the time of the conversation, had seen the reason why Ginny was keeping the door shut when she turned and closed it. On the couch the two of them had bought together and spent so many hours together, lay a man Harry didn't know, clad only in plaid blue boxers. He looked familiar, but the quick glance Harry had gained of him hadn't given him a chance to think. He turned around nonetheless and walked down the hall. So she wasn't single. Or she was at least sleeping around.

Harry preferred the first.

An hour and a half later, despite what Harry had glanced at earlier, he arrived at the Leaky Cauldron and grabbed a table and two butter beers. Five minutes after one, Ginny arrived, her hair much longer then Harry had remembered, and her shirt and jeans gracefully hugging her body. Harry remembered all the times he'd had with her, both the intimate and the sensual, and wanted to slap himself in the face for ever leaving her. She took a seat at the table, taking her time in scooting in the chair and setting down her back. She pushed her bangs out of her face and then looked at him, her elbows and arms resting on the table.

"So…" she said. "You're back."

"I am."

"How have you been?" The sarcasm in her voice was subtle yet pronounced.

"Not good, to be honest." She raised her eyebrows. "I've been a complete wreck since I've been in America. But a few days ago I got my head back on my shoulders and decided to come back."

"Did you find yourself?" she asked coldly, her arms now crossed.

"No." he admitted, defeated. He couldn't look her in the eye anymore. He had never felt as ashamed as he was at this moment in his entire life.

The silence encased them for a few minutes, only broken by the occasional bottle or class set down harshly at a neighboring table.

"So why are we talking, Harry. I know why you're here, and I'm not going to slam it in you're face. Talk to me. I'm assuming you didn't knock on my door this morning because you just wanted to say hi."

"Of course you're right," he admitted, and put his courage to work and looked her in the eye again. "What I want to say is that I'm ready for us again. While I haven't done any finding of myself, I have gotten my head screwed on right this time. I'm not going to go into how messed up I've been over the past four years. If that ever gets out, I can tell you some other time. The important thing is that I'm here now. And if you shut me down, or you've found someone else to make you happy, I can't do a thing. The only thing I can really, honestly say without feeling guilty is that I am sorry. I am more sorry then you could ever imagine. And if you could give me a second chance now, or after I've been back for awhile, I promise it'll be worth your while."

She studied him, her finger glancing around the rim of the butter beer bottle as she took in everything he'd said. She took a moment to reply.

"Harry. I've been sitting around for 4 years, waiting to hear that. But now that it's happened I know what we need to do."

Harry had been holding his breathe, and quickly released. She'd said 'we'. He hoped to God that this was a sign of some minor chance. He listened hard.

"If we have any chance of making this work, we need to make one thing clear. We aren't who we were 4 years ago. We are completely different people. And I think the best way to start this is to catch up. A lot has happened since we've last talked or seen each other."

"I know. We've both changed so much."

"So let's just talk Harry. The way we did before you're 6th year at Hogwarts. Lets try to find out if we're even compatible any more."

And so they talked. They ordered stronger drinks every time, slowly sipping on their delicious ability to allow them to unwind.

By 7 o'clock, they were both exhausted and speaking to each other as if Harry had never left. The bar was beginning to get busy, so Ginny asked, a few of her words slurred, "Do you want to go back to my flat? It isn't as loud there, or as crowded."

"Yeah, sure." The two of them apparated into the hall of the building, and Ginny dug the keys out of her purse. The two of them walked in and Harry locked the door behind them. He'd barely turned when Ginny was pressed up against him, pushing him back into the door.

"I've missed you, Harry" she whispered into his ear before slowly pressing her lips against his.

Harry was shocked. He had been drinking so heavily for so long that he wasn't nearly as intoxicated as her. He embraced her in return, creating a passionate kiss he had dreamed about since his departure.

They remained like this for a few minutes, before Ginny began tugging at Harry's shirt. Quickly, Harry regained his senses. He pushed her off of him as gently as he could.

"Ginny," he said huskily, "We shouldn't. We really shouldn't. This isn't you. It's the liquor."

"But I want you, Harry. I've wanted you so much for so long…" Her eyes, even in the darkness, were glazed over with the effects of the drinks.

"It can wait, love. I want to do this right."

With a shut down look on her face, Harry saw her retreat from her former advances, glad to see she was still the same type of drunk as before, passive yet sweet.

"Come on now, let's just go to bed. We've both had enough for tonight."

Harry took her by her hand and brought her to the bedroom. The room was the same as he'd left it. The bed, the sheets, the comforter, all exactly as they'd been before.

Ginny was stumbling, so Harry took her gently in his arms and set her on the bed. He removed her shoes and set them on the side of the bed before going up to her face and lightly kissing her forehead. "I still love you, Ginny," he whispered.

He'd reached the door and was beginning to shut it when he heard Ginny speak.

"You can stay in here Harry. Just for old time's sake."

He glanced at her softly. The moon, which had just risen, had strewn its light across her as she lay under the covers, causing her hair to glitter.

He reopened the door and entered the room. After removing his shoes, he joined her in bed. After lying down, Ginny laid her head upon his chest and Harry placed his arm around her. Sleep had almost claimed him when he could have sworn he heard her mutter, "I still love you too".

A/n- AND?!?! I would REALLY enjoy knowing what you think!! The reviews I've gotten have literally made my day. Being able to check my e-mail and nearly expecting to see that someone has read my story, and better yet, enjoyed it makes me soooo happy!! And to my previous reviewers.. THANKYOU!! You rock my world! Review again if you get the urge.

3

PS-And I've never lost so many words
From kissing just one girl
You've got potential

That's from 'wait for it' by dave melillo. And I wanted to work those lines somewhere into the story, but they just didn't work for Harry. And so, I decided to just tell you. Check out dave melillo.. awesomeness.. for real.