A/N: As I'm counting down the hours before I get to see TFA, I finally get to poke at one of my old fics for fun! It's amazing what you can accomplish when you're unable to check your usual social media for fear of spoilers XD

Are you aware of what you make me feel? / Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real

Stalking the halls, Ben sought to either avoid the too-quick glances or give back the menacing snarl that he never practiced in the mirror while waiting for the shower to warm up. Neither method really worked well. He just had a crick in his neck from leaning down, as though that would help keep him out of eyeline. The hem on his jeans no longer brushed against the tops of his converse thanks to his most recent growth spurt.

To make things worse on top of the usual high school bullshit and his renewed reputation for starting shit, people refused to shut the ever living fuck up about the upcoming spring dance. It wasn't prom - May was still a good six weeks away - but his idiot sheep classmates wouldn't stop bleating in excitement.

It was a Sadie Hawkins dance, you see. That made it so much better. Ben rubbed his thumb on the strap of his backpack while he waited for the outflow of lower classmen from the chemistry lab. He didn't begrudge giving the girls a shot to direct the social order for once. No, Ben resented the fact that he only had one girl-space-friend who was essentially dibsed for the rest of eternity. There would be zero opportunity for him to slide into the dance with a smoking hot gothic vision in lace and great music tastes.

Phasma didn't even wear lace, to be fair.

A finger tapped on Ben's back, one that he ignored as he was finally able to escape the chaos of the hallway and enter the classroom. "Wait, Ben," Hux hissed from the doorway. He didn't have chemistry this period, but history was right next door.

The teacher shook her head but technically she couldn't do anything until the bell rang again. Ben backpedaled to scrunch into the corner by the door. "What? We have lunch in like forty minutes," he snapped.

Hux was bouncing on his toes, an interesting sight. "Can you do me a solid? Tickets went on sale today for the dance. TK said he saw Phasma get two. Two! She's paying for her date," he gushed.

That was news. Ben's stomach twisted in angry knots. He already knew that he wasn't going to be the one asked, but it still stung when Hux asked, "Can you ditch lunch? At least until I get Phas back to the locker room? I think if she's alone with me, she'll ask!"

A slick mask covered Ben's mouth, twisting his lips to bear his teeth. "Sure thing." His voice would crack if he said more than that.

Hux slapped a hand on Ben's shoulder. He didn't even say thanks before darting away. The bell had just rung after all.

"Get to your seat, Solo."

Ben had to go on his own to get his friggen ticket. Hux had been right, of course. Phasma was all for flipping gender norms. If her date would have bought her ticket to a typical dance, she was more than happy to pay for them this time. And this time, Hux was her date.

"It's only ten bucks", Ben said dismissively when asking his mom for the money. She arched her eyebrow rather than looking up from her desk. It was well past six. Han wouldn't be home for another half hour to start cooking dinner.

His mother finished composing her email or writing her report or whatever she'd been doing for the state that was oh so more important than her own son. "You don't need a ticket for your date?" she pressed. It was the same question she asked every time, one that Ben never appreciated.

Ears thoroughly red, Ben tapped his hand on his leg. "No mom," he growled. Only the sight of her moving to open up her checkbook kept him from just throwing his hands up and scrounging up the cash from change left in his pants pockets.

"Did Armie get Miss Phasma's hand this time?" Ben's mother simpered. They were back to handling him with kid gloves, too afraid to set him off into his next spiral. It hurt her reputation to have a troubled kid. The payout to keep him in public school back in freshman year had cost Han the chance to buy back a portion of his shipping company. They'd keep him at a distance to save themselves from pushing him the wrong way. It was the only reason why she'd be handing him a check - made out to the school, she wasn't dumb enough to hand him a blank one - instead of following through on post-grounding punishment.

It was some small mercy that Ben got to the student council table while none of his own classmates were manning it. The girl who sold him the ticket was an underclassman, and Ben got to walk away without feeling like anyone who mattered saw that he wasn't going with a date. It was just delaying the inevitable, but Ben would take whatever small mercies he could to avoid further ridicule by the unbearable general public.

That was until Poe rounded the corner, screwing a cap back on his water bottle. His face darkened when he spotted Ben. He wasn't fast enough to hide the expression behind the undoubtedly fake smile that emerged to replace it. "Hey Ben," he said in a hurried voice. "I didn't think you'd be going to the dance."

It would be easy to blow him off and make some comment about how asinine it was to even want to go in the first place. But Maz's last round of counselling advice - and the ticket in his hand - stilled his tongue. "Why wouldn't I?" Lifting one shoulder, Ben stood to mirror Poe. They stepped around one another to lean on opposing walls of the hall.

"Well, I'm glad you're coming to the event. We're putting a ton of effort into this one. Stacy was really excited about the theme," Poe rambled on for a bit.

Ben's jaw locked into a horrendously fake smile that he hated. "Good for her. The girls-asking thing, that's different." Even trying he knew that the sentiment was hollow.

Silence rang out between the boys. Poe rubbed the back of his head. Ben's foot itched up and down. "I wasn't sure that you'd get to go with the whole… thing. I meant to ask the VP if you'd be able to but never got around to it," Poe admitted. Ben twisted his head to look at the ceiling and swallowed hard. Of course Poe tried to look out for Ben. He was just that nice of a guy. "I'm glad they're not punishing you any further."

"Yeah the suspension was a cakewalk," Ben hissed. "Not that that was punishment enough."

Poe cringed. He tried to apologize, stepping forward from the wall toward Ben. A gaggle of underclassmen girls swarmed by, forcing him right back. Good. Ben didn't want his sympathy.

"Just drop it, Dameron," Ben snarled when he tried to say something once more. "I punched a kid out. You don't have to act like I was wronged by the school." He kicked off from the wall and surged towards his locker. He had a free period study hall to get to. Maybe he'd go to the silent one so people would stop trying to be his damn friend.

The night of the dance, Ben struggled to decide just how much he wanted to fuck with everyone's expectations. Should he wear his most ripped pair of jeans to go for the 'better than this' affect? Should he actually bother to dress up to prove that he could when he bothered to? There were so many directions and levels of sticking it to the man he could chose.

In the end he went with the option that pissed his dad off the most. Han had tried to help him by ironing a dress shirt for him, which sealed the deal. "It's not Prom," Ben insisted.

"That's not the point," Han insisted. "You can at least try to dress up a bit." Ben darted out the door to Phasma's waiting car in a Mayday Parade hoodie over the same shirt and black jeans he'd worn to school that day.

Hux, naturally, was in perfect form. He had a clip on bowtie and matching vest. Thankfully he wasn't wearing an actual jacket, but Hux was still leagues ahead of Ben's outfit. He hadn't coordinated with Phasma's dress color, but the poor kid probably hadn't gotten the courage to ask her what she was going to wear to match. Hux eyed Ben's chosen outfit when he hopped into the car, eyebrows raising.

"It's just a dance," Ben growled for what felt like the eightieth time that week.

Everything was a nuisance from that point onward. More so than usual. Hux made a big deal about helping Phasma out of her own damn car even after Ben muttered that it should have been the other way around. They found a table in the center of the gym, not far enough away from the dance floor for Ben's liking. The music was overdone, too loud, and cliche.

On top of everything, Phasma had been too excited for the dance to have snuck a flask in. Ben itched to check her purse regardless when she and Hux got up to dance, but he knew that it would only end in broken fingers if she ever found out. So he sat at the table and glowered at his two closest friends standing a half foot away from each other while they "slow danced."

The time on his watch seemed to be going backwards every time that he checked. Ben wasn't certain if he was happier when they were back at the table sitting in uncomfortable silence together than when he was left alone. The fighting incident had thrown away any chance of someone else sitting at the table with them. Ben wasn't crazy for TK or any of Phasma's other upperclassmen friends, but usually they were at least passable company.

No, instead Ben got to watch as Hux's ears turned redder and redder from each chance he got to hold Phasma's hand. Finally, Ben's patience was up. He got up from the table and stalked to the lobby of the gym, if only to have something to do. It was cooler out there and Ben relaxed. It was alright even if he no longer had access to the snack table.

The lobby had a bank of windows with deep insets that a scrawny kid like himself could fit into. They went all the way up the curved staircase that led to the second floor of the school, and Ben counted himself lucky that no one was making out up there. He settled into one of the windowsills and stared out into the inky blackness.

What the hell had been the point of coming to the dance? He knew that he was being an ass, but he couldn't stop himself. It was like there was a kernel stuck in his teeth, except the kernel was Hux and Phasma looking at one another with stupid eyes and he couldn't use a toothpick to pry them apart.

There was no logical reason why he shouldn't be happy that Hux's long standing dream was at least in a vaguely less platonic way coming true. One of their earliest jokes when they were alone was to figure out who would crack first, him or her, and just confront the crush that was so painfully apparent. But now actually being confronted by the reality that Phasma might in the slightest way reciprocate Hux's feelings felt like a suckerpunch.

Ben's fingers curled into a tight fist. The slight bite of his nails didn't help. Nor did butting his head against the glass in front of him. The dull ache he gained in his skull only made his mood sour further. Pain wouldn't make his friends magically stop flirting, but hell if he had any better ideas.

Someone was stepping up the stairs. Ben closed his eyes rather than look at the pair that was searching for him. He had known eventually they would come looking for him.

"Ben? Why'd you up and vanish?" Hux asked. Ben waited the appropriate few seconds for Phasma to chime in with her always pointed commentary. Except this time there wasn't any. Hux shuffled next to him, alone. There wasn't enough space for him to fit in the alcove with how Ben was sitting, which was a welcome relief. He didn't want to be any closer to the redhead than they already were.

Rather than actually address him, Ben directed his replies to Hux's sullen reflection. It made it easier to spit out his frustrations. "You were busy. I wanted some air. Then I just stayed. Figured you would want the private time together," he said.

"We had like a half hour alone," Hux sputtered. "Then it just got… I dunno what to say. She-"

Ben threw himself out from the alcove, pushing past his so-called best friend. He didn't have to listen to this. He didn't have to put up with this bullshit. His adrenaline had spiked when Hux mentioned them being alone together, driving Ben further away from the damned dance music. The door to the locker rooms didn't lock on one side. Ben kicked it open and stormed away into the dark hallway. He barely registered the confused calls from Hux.

This couldn't be another incident. He had to calm the raging fire in his veins, had to beat back the dark fury licking at his heels. The next door didn't open even after Ben kicked it three times. A hand touched his shoulder blade, tangible since Ben had left his hoodie at the table in the too-hot gym.

"Don't touch me," he growled. It was nearly impossible to see anything in the hallway; the only light came from the emergency exit lights. Red bathed Ben's entire body and lit Hux's betrayed expression. He held the hand that Ben had slapped away.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Hux cried. He wasn't angry and that was just too damn rich. The only one who was angry was Ben. Of course he was. Still, the furrow of Hux's brow and the way his lips parted only served to throw a sharper relief on how out of line Ben was acting.

Ben staggered backwards until he hit the tiled wall. He had to say something, anything to Hux. "I can't stand seeing you with her," he admitted. The words tumbled out in a horrid rush. It wasn't an apology or an explanation, just an excuse.

Hux let out a scoff, shaking his head back and forth as he continued to stare at Ben. "I didn't realize I had such an effect on your happiness," he said. His voice was rising in pitch, edging closer to genuine anger.

When Hux turned to storm off, Ben lurched forward. His hand wrapped around Hux's wrist, stopping him. "You're a fucking idiot to not know that," Ben insisted. It wasn't helping; he still couldn't get the words he actually needed to say out there.

"So now I'm the moron," Hux spat. "Great. Fantastic. You know, all you had to do was wait a few bloody seconds for me to finish talking instead of charging off like a brute and kicking down school property."

"I listened to you two talk all goddamn night-" Ben snarled.

"She went home! She left!" Hux roared. The words echoed in the empty hallway and clawed their way into Ben's mind. Phasma hadn't stayed. She was gone and Hux was still here.

Ben opened his mouth, hoping to come up with something that didn't make things any worse. Nothing came out. He could only look down at Hux, still stuck in his grip with his stupid eyes shining with pent up emotions. Hux didn't have emotions like this. He sneered. He smirked. He plotted. Hux didn't almost cry over a girl. "She doesn't like me," Hux whispered. "I haven't been able to stop looking at her and she doesn't even like me."

There were a thousand things that Ben could say. He could reason with Hux, tell him that of course Phasma liked him. She always had to go home at weird times for her dad. They'd been dealing with Ben's sorry ass all night; of course she wouldn't be having a good time. He could say almost anything to fix the chaos that he'd kicked up.

"I like you," Ben said hoarsely. Hux blinked at him, half of his face obscured by Ben's shadow. Now Ben was grateful that the hallway was so dark. His free hand trembled just so and it would have been embarrassing for Hux to see it. Ben stepped closer, now painfully aware of how his hold on Hux's wrist had loosened but hadn't let go.

Hux swallowed once. He licked his lips. A tiny thread of saliva lingered when he opened his mouth to say simply, "Oh." Ben felt hyper-aware of every second that passed, of every beat of his thundering heart.

He hadn't meant to say that. It was a half-composed thought at best, one that he shoved out of sight whenever it reared its ugly head. Now, in the dark of the locker room hallway, he had admitted it and… and now what? Ben studied Hux's eyes, desperate for something beside the meaningless "oh."

When nothing came, Ben choked off an involuntary sound. "I don't mean-" he started.

Hux spoke a moment later. "I know," he muttered.

"I didn't even finish talking," Ben replied. It was his turn to be surprised, especially when Hux moved to slide Ben's hand into his.

"You like me," Hux whispered. There was a reverence in his voice that Ben had only ever heard - and had harbored his resentment towards - while Hux waxed on about Phasma. Now though it was dawn breaking in the past week's eternal night.

Ben nodded slowly, his heart in his throat and his hands and his trembling legs. Couldn't Hux feel that?

It didn't matter. Ben stopped worrying about looking nervous or feeling anxious. His brain effectively shut down when Hux walked him backwards with the force of his gaze alone. Ben's back hit the wall. Then, with a slowness that rivalled the movements of tectonic plates, Hux leaned up on tiptoe to press his lips to Ben's.

The stars aligned. Nothing else in the whole fucking universe mattered. Ben tugged Hux's hands to his waist and moved to take another kiss. Hux wanted him, or at least wanted Ben to want him. He'd ask questions later. Right now all that mattered was them, alone together in a forgotten hallway.