Next time I opened my eyes I was being examined by Hanji. I expected her to be her normal boisterous self, but I was flabbergasted by the quiet woman who was changing my bandages. It seemed like she was deep in thought when I woke because she did not have that manic look in her eyes, I assumed that it was because I was not a titan or Eren. A part of me was offended, but another was thankful that she had not taken an interest to me like she had to Eren.
"You know most people would be nursing a broken nose at the very least for the stunt that you pulled." Her voice, though subdued had managed to pull me out of my reverie. "Which makes you an interesting person Mikasa." By now she had finished retying the bandages on my ribs, when she looked up to continue with my head bandages, her stare unnerved me. It reminded me too much of him, it looked ageless, like I could get lost in her eyes, I did not like it. I just stared at her with the same bored look that I gave everyone, hoping that she would go back to normal, well as normal as possible for Hanji.
"I guess I can see why, the same fire burns in both of you," her voice had taken a haunting quality and it made think of what she could be referring to, "He would kill me if he knew that I was talking about him to you, but I am curious, even more curious than Erwin himself is." She kept staring right at my eyes the whole time, making me want to turn my gaze away.
My puzzlement must have shown in my face because she continued talking to me while she unwrapped the bandages covering the top part of my head. "I know that he is a difficult man and that you guys don't have the best relationship, which is why we are so intrigued." She stopped her rambling for a moment to catch her breath, then the look was back. That ageless look that made her look like a completely different person.
"I thought that he would have closed himself off a long time ago, or that he had denied himself for so long that he had forgotten how to feel anymore. Now I see that not all hope is lost, that there is hope, maybe even for the rest of us." I was fascinated with this new side of Hanji that I was seeing, it was so different from the I knew, that I felt special. I knew that very few people had seen this side of her. I wanted to say something but I was trying to think of who she was talking about since she had not known Eren for so long. The fact that it was taking me so long to put a face to the person that she was talking about made confirm my suspicions, I had received a concussion, and a bad one at that if I was having trouble piecing my thoughts together.
"If you are talking about the corporal, then I cannot help you." My voice was
steady, though still raspy. "I don't even think we have a relationship, all I feel is hatred towards him" A smile spread across Hanji's face it transformed her face into the one I had come to know. "So you do not remember do you?" she questioned me with a tilt of her head. Her eyes were somehow sadden by the fact and I felt a pang of guilt.
My eyes narrowed in suspicion what was she talking about? A sharp pain in my left temple made me wince, and Hanji quickly grabbed my head and turned me to look at her, she made me follow her finger and I did comply with her request. After she was satisfied with the results she took the pillows that were propping me up and made me lie down again. After I had spoken those words, I felt like I had been lying, to Hanji and to myself. There were whispers trying to break through my conscious, too low for me to decipher what they were trying to me.
"Hanji, why are you telling me this?" for one moment my defenses were low and that scared nine year old I used to be came out. I would have laughed at Hanji's expression if I was not so angry at myself for my moment of weakness. Her eyes widened comically and behind her glasses they looked even bigger than before. Then they turned maternal, they reminded so much of my mother that for one moment I felt she was here with me. "Because Mikasa, sometimes what we need is not what we want and what wish for is not always what we get."
I felt the air had been knocked out of me, those words made me think of the last day I had spent with my mother and it took all my willpower to breathe again. The pain was swift and intense and all I wanted was to call for my mother and have her rush to my side like she always did. After I managed to get myself under control I realized that Hanji was about to close the door, and before she could leave I asked her the question that I was dying to get answered. "When can I leave?"
Hanji just laughed and answered me after seeing the death glare I sent her way "I want to keep you another couple of days under observation, your head wound was more severe than expected and I believe if it had been anyone else but you and maybe Levi they would be dead." With that she closed the door and left me to my own devices. Alone with my thoughts I started thinking about Levi, and soon enough someone was opening the door to my temporary room.
"What are you doing here?" were the first words out of my mouth after the little shock of seeing this person in my room.