AN: I'm so sorry about the delay in posting this. Work has been crazy lately and then I had a family member in the hospital. It's just been a crazy week and I haven't been able to really sit down and write. I hope this chapter is okay! The reviews for the last chapter absolutely blew me away and I can't believe how close this story is to 50 reviews. Thanks for all your kind words and I really appreciate it.
"We're all simply doing the best that we can
And we have a choice to live or truly be alive
Child it's time to break the shell
Life's gonna hurt but it's meant to be felt
You cannot touch the sky from inside yourself
You cannot fly until you break the shell"
Break the Shell- India Arie
Damon Salvatore was coming to her house today and Elena still hadn't told her mother yet. She had meant to mention it at dinner last night but Jeremy had brought home a letter from his math teacher saying that Miranda needed to come in for a parent teacher conference and ruined the mood. Miranda was angry with him, Jeremy was apathetic, and Elena realized that wasn't the time to bring it up.
It wasn't that she thought her mother would be mad or anything. She just knew that her mother would get overly excited and Elena was not looking forward to this conversation. Damon was the first boy she had ever invited over and Miranda would act like maybe all hope wasn't lost for her recluse of a daughter.
Elena had resolved to tell her at breakfast and Jeremy had already cleared his own plate and was eying the waffle on her own while her mom was finishing up her coffee. Elena wordlessly pushed her plate towards her brother and he eagerly transferred her castoffs to his own plate.
"Is everything okay, Elena?" Miranda asked, looking at her with concern. Her mother's homemade waffles were her favorite and she usually easily finished it all. Today, she'd made it through less than half and Miranda was looking at her as though she was contemplating pulling out the thermometer.
"Is it okay if I have someone over after school?" Elena blurted out, figuring it was now or never.
Just as she expected, her mother beamed brightly.
"Of course sweetheart! Oh, I'm so glad that you're making friends."
Jeremy rolled his eyes dramatically in Elena's direction so their mother couldn't see and she fought the urge to laugh.
"Damon's not a friend, we're just working on something for student council together." Elena quickly clarified.
Miranda however had zeroed in on the fat that the upcoming visitor was a boy and if possible, her smile grew. Elena realized that she'd just made it even worse for herself and winced.
Jeremy paused mid-chew as his sister's words sank in. "Damon as in Damon Salvatore from the football team?" He asked through a mouthful of waffle.
"Ew Jeremy." Elena complained. Jeremy merely swallowed it down with a gulp of milk, still looking at her expectantly.
Sensing that she would get more information from her son than her daughter, Miranda turned to grill Jeremy. "He's on the football team?" Miranda asked.
"Yeah, he's the quarterback. I didn't think he was on student council though." Jeremy said, eying Elena suspiciously.
"He just joined and we got paired together for getting things ready for the car wash."" Elena said, glaring at her brother, silently willing him to shut up.
As usual, Jeremy did the opposite of what she wanted.
"Isn't he dating Katherine? I wonder what she thinks about him coming over here." Jeremy said teasingly.
"On that note, I'm done with breakfast. Mom, please don't be embarrassing when he gets here. Jeremy, just don't be home at all." Elena sighed, standing up to clear her space at the table.
"Oh, I'll definitely be home. I wouldn't miss this for anything." Jeremy chuckled.
"Jeremy Gray, leave your sister alone." Miranda scolded.
"I didn't even do anything! It's not my fault she's being all sensitive. Besides, how can she tell me not to come home? I live here too you know." Jeremy argued.
Elena tuned them out as she rinsed her plate, idly wondering if it was too late to ask Damon if he wanted to meet at the library instead. They could probably find some program online that could work.
"Don't worry Elena, your brother won't bother you. He's going to help out at your dad's office after school. Apparently they need some help rearranging the file cabinets and it couldn't wait until your dad got home." Miranda said reassuringly, pulling Elena out of her thoughts.
"Is this punishment?" Jeremy asked in disgust.
"No, its not, but depending on exactly what your teacher has to say, there may very well be a punishment in your future." Miranda warned him, suddenly stern.
Elena decided to go before they started arguing again. She heard a honk outside and she dashed out the kitchen with a quick goodbye. She grabbed her backpack and headed out the front door to meet Bonnie. Bonnie had gotten her own car over the summer and most mornings, they rode to school together.
"Hey, ready to go?" Bonnie asked as Elena climbed in the car.
Elena just gave her a look filled with frustration.
"That bad huh?" Bonnie said with a light laugh.
"You have no idea." Elena replied, buckling her seatbelt.
Elena could only hope that this afternoon wouldn't be a complete disaster.
Elena entered the cafeteria, scanning the large room for Bonnie and spotted her in line to get lunch. In her haste to get out the door this morning, Elena hadn't grabbed her lunch and so it was hot lunch for her as well. She made her way over to Bonnie and joined the line. They talked about typical things like what happened in class their morning and what books they were reading. The line moved quickly and it wasn't long before Elena could see what was being offered.
"Looks like its meatloaf surprise today." Elena said with a sigh.
"Great," Bonnie groaned, just like Elena knew she would. Elena had always liked the predictability of her friendship with Bonnie. Bonnie had moved back to town in the middle of seventh grade. She'd been born in Mystic Falls but after her parents split up when she was six, she'd moved with her mom to North Carolina. She spent her summers and winter breaks with her dad though so she was no stranger to Mystic Falls. Bonnie's dad's house was down the street from Elena's and they'd played together whenever Bonnie was in town. She'd come back for good after her mom and new stepfather moved abroad for his new job. Bonnie could have gone but she'd said she wanted to stay with her father. Bonnie and Elena picked up right where they left off and had been inseparable ever since.
"I wish we could go off campus for lunch." Bonnie remarked as she reluctantly took a tray.
"I know." Elena agreed.
Traditionally, seniors were allowed to leave the school during lunch but last year, that privilege had been revoked after a few students were caught pretending to be seniors and sneaking off campus. It had been a disappointing change in plans and they still lamented the loss of that freedom. Elena looked down at her tray with disgust as the lunch lady gave her a slab of meat covered with an unappealing brownish gray gravy.
"I can't forget my lunch again tomorrow." Elena said, knowing that she'd end up picking over the meatloaf.
"By the way, what happened this morning? You seemed in a rush." Bonnie asked.
Elena started to tell her about her morning as they headed to their usual table, conveniently leaving out the fact that Damon was coming over. Bonnie wasn't much of a fan of the whole popular crowd and Elena could only imagine Bonnie's reaction. Bonnie was pretty amused by Jeremy, as usual. As an only child, Bonnie seemed fascinated by the spats she and her brother got into.
"Enough about that though. You said there was something you wanted to tell me?" Elena asked.
Bonnie looked around to make sure no one was listening and of course, there wasn't anyone paying attention. Still, Bonnie leaned forward a little and dropped her voice as she spoke.
"There's this boy in my Bio class named Micah that I really like Elena. He's not my lab partner but he's at the table right next to mine and we've been talking more and more." Bonnie said, tucking a stubborn lock of her curly dark hair from her face.
"That's great Bonnie." Elena said with a forced smile.
Sometimes she wished that she could be more open, that she could share more. Bonnie made it seem so easy but Elena had a hard time divulging her true feelings even to her best friend. Elena wondered if maybe there was something wrong with her because it shouldn't be this hard. Elena smiled and nodded as Bonnie went on about Micah. She was happy for Bonnie, she really was, and yet she felt this overwhelming wave of self-deprecation.
For so long, she'd built this wall around herself and she'd been fine with that. She had a best friend, she had a few people she could talk to, she had her books and her music. That had been enough. Now, she was starting to feel like maybe it wasn't. She couldn't rely on just Bonnie; it wasn't fair to either of them. The idea of opening up to people kind of freaked her out but she couldn't be like this forever.
"Earth to Elena." Bonnie said, waving a hand in front of Elena's face.
Elena smiled at her sheepishly, realizing that she had been caught in her own little world.
"Sorry Bon, I'm listening."
"No you're not." Bonnie said with a laugh.
"I'm sorry, it's just I was thinking about something." Elena said apologetically.
"What's on your mind?" Bonnie asked, her green eyes bright and curious.
Elena's eyes trailed over to where Damon was sitting with a group of the football players. He was laughing at something, his eyes crinkled at the corners and she felt her heart jump in her chest. For just one moment, she wished she had been the one to make him laugh like that. Elena shook her head with a wry smile.
"Bonnie, do you think I'm the type to take chances?" Elena asked suddenly.
Bonnie looked taken aback by the question momentarily.
"Do you want me to answer that honestly?"
"Of course." Elena said.
"Ok, don't get mad at me then." Bonnie said with a serious look.
"Just say what you're thinking Bonnie." Elena said with a hint of impatience from her curiosity.
"Well then, in all honesty, no I don't. Not when it comes to certain things anyway, like putting yourself out there with other people or doing things outside your comfort zone. I love you to death but I mean, besides me, you barely really talk to anybody." Bonnie admitted.
Elena processed this quietly, shredding the napkin in front of her as she thought. Her own best friend thought of her that way so she could only imagine what others thought. She wasn't mad or offended, something she quickly assured Bonnie of because she could tell that Bonnie was worried, but it did solidify for her that something had to change. She didn't know exactly what she needed to do or how to go about it but she was a smart girl; she could figure it out one step at a time.
"Mom, you're overdoing it." Elena groaned as she entered the kitchen.
The entire first floor smelled like a bakery. Her mother had made chocolate chip cookies, butterscotch blondies, and she was in the process of squeezing lemons for fresh lemonade as brownies baked in the oven.
"Oh stop it Elena; this isn't even all for us. You know that I'm helping with the bake sale for the Little League team." Miranda sighed.
"The bake sale isn't until tomorrow. You just decided to do all of this today?" Elena asked skeptically. Her mother was a great baker and she was constantly helping out with one event or another. However, Miranda almost always made her stuff the day of the event and Elena couldn't help but think it was too much of a coincidence that her mom had chosen to do this today when she knew that Damon was coming over.
"I'm not going to have time tomorrow. I have a luncheon to go to and- " Miranda paused and frowned slightly as she turned to face her daughter. "You know, I don't have to explain myself to you. Either eat what I've set aside for us or don't; it's your choice."
Elena opened her mouth to respond, feeling more than a little chastised, when the doorbell rang. Perfect timing because she wasn't sure that continuing that conversation would have been a good idea. She sent her mother a pleading look before going to the entryway. Full of nervous jitters, she peered through the window before opening the door. Damon was standing on her front porch wearing a simple black shirt and jeans yet he looked so good that it was almost painful.
"Hi Damon, come on in." Elena said shyly, opening the door wider.
Damon gave her a half smile as he said thanks before walking through the doorway. He looked around and Elena found herself doing the same, seeing her house through fresh eyes. She'd lived in this house all her life; in fact, according to her father she'd almost been born in it. Her mom made sure that the house was well maintained and even though she and Jeremy often grumbled at the mandatory Sunday cleaning jobs, Elena surveyed her house with pride in that moment. The wooden staircase gleamed and pictures lined the wall, showcasing pictures of her and Jeremy growing up.
"Hello, you must be Damon." Miranda said from behind her.
Elena saw Damon's eyes widen a bit and she turned to look at her mom who was conveniently holding a plate with cookies. She couldn't help but feel like he was shocked that her mom was so beautiful. Elena was used to it really but it did cause a slight twinge in her stomach.
Damon nodded affirmatively before saying "Thanks for having me over."
Now it was Elena's turn to be surprised. Who knew Damon was so polite?
"You're welcome any time, right sweetie?" Miranda said cheerfully with a meaningful look at Elena.
She could see the amusement flit across Damon's face and Elena's embarrassment skyrocketed. Her mom was being extremely obvious with her enthusiasm and she knew it wasn't just in her head by Damon's reaction. The only way it could be any worse was if Jeremy had actually been home. Determined to end this awkward moment, Elena took action.
"Mom, we're going to work on stuff in Dad's office. Please don't bother us and thanks for the cookies." Elena said in as controlled a voice she could manage as she took the tray from her mom.
Before her mother could respond, Elena motioned for Damon to follow her. Bemused, Damon did as she requested. She led the way to her father's office and entered the small room connected to the living room. He'd built it years ago so he could have a place to work without getting interrupted by the constant noise from either Elena's playing or Jeremy's video games. These days he didn't use it much and Elena and Jeremy had free reign of it. Jeremy had loaded all his art programs on the Mac in there, insisting the graphics were better, which was good because there was no way that Jeremy would have handed her laptop over to her. After a moment's hesitation, she left the door partially open and sat down in front of the computer.
"You can sit there if you want." Elena said to Damon, gesturing towards the spare chair.
Damon pulled the chair over so they were sitting next to each other and Elena realized this was officially the closest she'd ever been to Damon. She could smell his cologne mixed with hint of lemon and a scent that was just Damon, feel the heat of his arm as he adjusted himself so he could see the screen clearly. Now that they were alone, Damon was noticeably more subdued than he'd been the day before and without his natural charm, Elena wasn't quite sure what to do. Neither of them spoke as they waited for the program to load when Elena realized this was exactly what she'd been talking about with Bonnie earlier. Baby steps, right? She could do this.
"Is everything okay?" Elena asked hesitantly.
Damon looked at her as though she'd sprouted a second head and Elena felt herself turn red as humiliation flooded her body.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" Elena quickly backpedaled, averting her eyes back to the computer.
"No, it's fine. I just have a lot on my mind today." Damon said with a clearly forced smile.
Elena nodded, still too mortified to speak. They fell back into silence before Damon apparently couldn't take it anymore, uncomfortable with the quiet.
"Ariana really likes you by the way. She said that you're her favorite of the older students." Damon said out of the blue.
"She's sweet." Elena said with an instinctive, genuine smile.
"Ariana is a lot of things but sweet isn't one of them. She knows what she wants and she'll do whatever it takes to get her way." Damon said, chuckling.
Elena couldn't help but laugh at the expression on Damon's face.
"I'm being serious. She can be ridiculously stubborn when it comes to getting what she wants." Damon said, facing her. "When she was seven, Ariana decided that she just needed a dog. My dad absolutely refused; he said it would be too much work and dogs were too messy. Ariana pestered him every day about it and still he said no. One day, we went to that carnival that comes every year over in Falls Creek. You know which one I'm talking about?"
"I've never been." Elena shook her head.
"Really? We went every year when we were younger." Damon said. "Well, at the carnival, Ariana played one of those stupid games and won a goldfish. She treated that fish exactly like it was a dog. She took it on walks, talked to it, I even caught her trying to pet it one day."
Elena giggled in amusement at the image of Ariana trying to pet a goldfish and Damon shot her a grin.
"Harry the fish lasted about two weeks and when Ariana went to feed him, he was belly up. Ari was devastated; she cried and cried. She had a funeral for it and everything. The very next day my dad came home with a dog for Ariana." Damon said, trailing off quietly as he got lost in his thoughts.
"I knew he'd give in; he always does when it comes to Ari. It's only with me that nothing's ever good enough." Damon said almost sullenly, his good humor fading.
"I know what you mean." Elena murmured, the words escaping before she even realized it.
Damon looked at her with more than a bit of skepticism.
"As I'm sure you've noticed, my mom and I are…different. I think she's disappointed that I'm not more like her." Elena explained, digging her nails into her palms as she fought her instinct to shut down.
"You know, I think you look like your mom." Damon commented.
"Really?" Elena asked, shocked. She'd heard that before from some of her mom's friends but it felt different coming from Damon.
"Definitely. You have the same eyes." Damon said with a lopsided little smile that made butterflies flutter in her belly.
"Thanks." Elena said, quiet but pleased.
From there they just talked about anything and everything, the poster all but forgotten. He was surprisingly easy to talk to. He told her about his rocky relationship with his dad and all the pressure he was under with football and she talked about how she felt like she never quite fit in anywhere and that music was the way she'd learned to express herself. She'd never talked to anyone like this, not even Bonnie really, but there was just something about him that she couldn't help but trust. They completely lost track of time so a knock on the office door shocked both of them. Elena looked over and saw her mom poke her head through almost apologetically. To be honest, she'd all but forgotten her mom was home and she hoped that she hadn't been eavesdropping.
"Elena, I'm going to pick up Jeremy. Dinner's almost ready but can you keep an eye on the chicken for me?" Miranda said.
Damon noticed what time it was and turned to Elena. "I'd better go. I have to get home." Damon said with a hint of reluctance.
"I guess it has been awhile." Elena said, standing as she noted with surprise that she and Damon had been there for almost two hours.
"And we still didn't get very far on the poster." Damon remarked wryly.
Elena led him to the door, feeling slightly awkward at the loss of their little bubble of the office. She could hear her mother bustling around the kitchen so she knew that she hadn't left just yet and she struggled with what to do. She'd never been in this situation before and she wasn't exactly the best with social skills anyway.
"Hey, you know, we have a game tomorrow. You should come." Damon said, looking over at her when they reached the door.
"I don't know…" Elena trailed off.
"Just think about it." Damon shrugged, his eyes amused. His phone beeped loudly and he looked down at the screen with a slight frown. "I've got to go but I'll see you tomorrow. Bye Elena."
"Bye Damon." Elena said with a wave, watching Damon head to his car.
With that, Damon was gone with Miranda not far behind him out the door and Elena could physically feel the difference in the house. It was so quiet that her thoughts seemed louder than ever. She'd actually had a real conversation with Damon. She had no idea what sort of Twilight Zone she'd entered but she didn't want it to end. She allowed herself one brief moment to lean against the door as she contemplated the idea of Damon actually being her friend. Just one week ago it was something she could only dream about but today, it seemed like it was an actual possibility and she had no idea what to do with that information.
AN: Hope this was worth the wait! We're starting to turn a corner with these two but they still have a lot to get through. Let me know what you all think :)