Edward's POV

Bella crying had me feeling beyond guilty. It was my fault after all. I'm the reason she buried her face in her hands. I'm the reason she couldn't stop sniffling for ten minutes after she cried. Why do I have to be who I am? Why can't I be human so I didn't have to worry about killing her?

I always wished I could transform back to my human self. I'd give anything to be able to move forward with my life. I will always be frozen in time, never having a purpose.

Bella has a purpose, making us complete opposites.

I watched as Bella eventually trudged her way back to her classes. I followed in suit to her, but we ended up not seeing each other for the rest of the day.

After constantly scanning Bryce's mind for thoughts of Bella, I felt relieved that she didn't see him either after he was upset with her earlier. He wasn't a good person to be around.

I didn't search for Bella after I was all done with my classes. I decided to just go straight home. I was too overcome with guilt to face her and apologize. I needed time and answers.

The thought of calling Carlisle crossed my mind, but I resisted making any rash decisions. The others would soon surely hear about my obsession with Bella. Alice may have already told everyone. I was alone in this situation.

I sighed, feeling desolate once again.

Carlisle loaned me our family home in Seattle to reside in for the time being. It resembled the house we have in Forks, but Esme designed it with slightly different color patterns, making everything black and white. Half of the house had walls made of glass on the outside too. I even had my own ivory grand piano to feel at home. The home felt empty without the usual flow of thoughts coming from my siblings, another reminder of how lonely I was.

The house was about twenty minutes away from campus, nestled in the woods for privacy. My room had its own balcony on the third floor overlooking a pond. The view straight ahead displayed an appealing mountainous landscape. It was pure serenity.

A few miles away from the house, I was able to hunt in the forest without worrying about humans intruding. Usually people followed trails, and there were no trails where I hunted.

Thinking of Bella unfortunately made my throat remind me of the terrible monster I was. It seemed like a good idea to hunt in order to get her scent out of my mind. Who was I kidding though? That would be impossible.

The animals' blood was no match for my incredible appetite. As I hunted, I secretly wanted to pretend that the animals were Bella, but something inside me felt disgusted by this. So much, I wanted to throw myself off a cliff for even thinking of it.

Often, I felt like I was two people when it came to being a vampire. There's me, my human self, and the demon that craves blood. I couldn't complain about immortality, but I knew I had no soul. How could I have one when I was meant to not move on into the afterlife?

I couldn't stop thinking about her once again. Thinking about her soft, warm skin sent ripples of electricity throughout me. Pure bliss. I wasn't even aware of a touch so heavenly before I met her. Thoughts of me touching her more intruded my mind, making me forget how dangerous I was. It would be easy for me to accidentally crush her bones if I touched her too swiftly without paying attention. Her touch was another thing I didn't deserve.

I sighed as I finished drinking the blood of an elk. They were in season and the quickest thing to grab. I threw the carcass off to the side and sat on the forest floor.

I couldn't decide what my feelings of Bella were meant to be. Did I simply just want to be her friend? Was it possible that I didn't just crave her delicious blood, but something more? That I didn't know. Her appearance was rather attractive. And I was still baffled why I couldn't see into her mind.

What is the matter with me? I've only met Bella twice, yet I'm fixated on her like a madman. I bet she thought of me as a psycho with no interest in engaging interaction between us.

Maybe I needed to leave. That was probably the best option- to stay as far away from Bella as possible. That lonely feeling pierced my frozen heart once more, reminding me of its existence.

I looked at the nature around me to give me some answers. Sometimes, not too often, I turn to God for help. I know he doesn't value me like humans, but there was still a little hope inside of me.

"God, please give me some answers!" I called out in the quiet forest.

I looked around and didn't notice anything particularly different. I listened to the thoughts around me. I could hear animal thoughts, but they were quiet and not exactly translatable. They mostly focused on food and survival. Quite frankly, I was hoping for a little more excitement.

I looked further and noticed a white bunny hopping happily on the wet ground. It started to nibble on grass. Then from a distance, I noticed a red fox watching the rabbit intently. However, it did what I didn't expect. The rabbit froze when it sensed the fox and quit chewing. The fox walked slowly to the rabbit and just watched it. No gruesome nature fiasco occurred. Instead, the fox started licking the rabbit to clean its fur, I suppose. They sat there together, in harmony. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

That was my sign. I looked up to the sky and bowed my head.

"Thank you." I whispered to whoever was watching over me.

Bella's POV

My first day of college made me feel exhausted. I only had three classes, because the other two were tomorrow, but it was sort of overwhelming. I had to walk long distances between classes with plenty of stairs, and I couldn't help but stumble around like I was physically impaired half the time.

My classes appeared easy because they were just my general education courses I needed to take, but the professors looked intimidating.

Socializing here made me feel like I was back at my school in Phoenix. I was a nobody once again. Although it was a little relieving, I was sure I'd missed the easy social interaction like the kind I had in Forks.

I sighed at the thought of my friends. I missed them already so much. Angela was accepted into an Ivy League school across the country. I was so proud of her. Jacob was still in high school back at his Quileute reservation. At least I had Bryce here with me. He was a piece of my home that I got to bring with. I wasn't sure why it made my stomach feel unsettled though.

I couldn't help it when my mind slipped me images of Edward Cullen's deadly stare. It just wasn't fair! What did I do to him that made him feel this hatred for me? I was so sure I never met him before Forks.

One possibility that I guessed before was that he had a personality disorder. Maybe he couldn't handle high school so they put him in an alternative school at the time.

However, after every assumption I made, none of the pieces seemed to add up. Jessica had informed me that Edward never looked hostile towards anyone, but he did always present himself with a look of boredom.

It also didn't make sense for someone as beautiful as Edward to hold a stare that deadly. I got a better look at his face today than I did two years ago. He had very intense cheekbones. His lips were a very alluring reddish-pink color, which was strange in contrast to his skin. His bronze hair was just a messy as before, yet perfect. When I first saw Edward, I didn't noticed how muscular he was. Probably because I only studied his physical body when he was sitting next to Emmett Cullen. Emmett made everyone look weak.

When I stumbled into Edward today, I noticed how hard his chest was. He was also much taller than I expected too. He practically towered over me. When I thought about his body, I couldn't help but feel stirred up to it. Bryce had a nice body, but it was nothing compared to Edward's.

Why was I suddenly comparing Bryce to Edward? I'm a terrible girlfriend.

I shook my head as I started making dinner for myself in my apartment. Bryce had called me earlier to say sorry for his behavior. I accepted his apology because I was the one who was acting strange. We talked about our classes, and he informed me that he became friends with a few new people already. They started making plans for a party in two weeks. I rolled my eyes. Bryce loved socializing at parties. I on the other hand avoided them like the plague.

After I was done eating, I decided to decorate my new home a little more. It wasn't very large or luxurious, but it fit me well I suppose. I had a full kitchen, a bathroom, a small bedroom, and a living room joined with the kitchen. The walls were white and most of my furniture didn't really coordinate. I bought mostly second-hand items instead of furniture sets to save money. I tried making my bedroom like the one I had in Forks by stringing decorative Christmas lights on the wall near the ceiling. I had even gotten my own bookshelf for all of my classics.

Suddenly, my phone rang, making me jump. I read the caller ID and my face lit up.

"Hey Jake, what's up!" I said excitedly. Jacob really was an important person in my life. He was the brother I never had.

"Hey Bells! How are ya likin' college?" he asked me.

"It's a lot to get used to, but it hasn't been a total disaster." I told him, suddenly thinking of Edward, and I began feeling uneasy. Maybe I should tell Jacob…

"Did you manage to get through the day without falling and destroying everything in your path?" he joked, but I knew he was being serious.

"Hey now! I'll have you know I only fell eight times today." I said with pride, but that didn't stop him from chuckling loudly. I missed his laugh.

"I missed you, Bells. And Angela. It's not the same without you guys." He confessed to me, making me feeling emotional.

"I miss you too, Jake. Lucky Angela doesn't start classes until next week." I responded.

Jacob and I continued talking for about an hour. He mentioned how there's this one girl in his class that he couldn't take his eyes off of. I told him he couldn't date her until she got my approval.

After a while of debating, I finally decided to tell him about Edward.

"Hey Jake, can I ask you something?" I asked, feeling nervous.

"Yeah sure, Bella. What's up?"

I hesitated because I felt like I was going to cry. "So you know how before you told me to stay away from the Cullens when I told you the story about how rude Edward Cullen was to me my first day?"

He paused and then replied, "Yes…what about them?"

"Well, I thought it was crazy before when Edward disappeared after my arrival, but you won't believe it, Jake. I almost died today when he was in my first class. I didn't know what to do. And he still had that mean look when he looked at me. It felt like my first day of high school all over again." I confessed to him, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice.

Jacob must have been angry because he took a while to reply. "Bella, I'm going to tell you the same thing I said before about them. Stay away. Change your class. Do anything to get away from him. I can't believe the creep followed you to college." He said in disgust.

Followed? Why would he follow me here?

"Jacob, I don't think he even knew I was going to go here. His face looked so mad when he saw me. It was deadly." I informed him.

"Either way, promise me you'll stay away?" he asked of me.

I wasn't sure I could promise that. I wanted to figure out why he didn't like me. Who knows though, he could have switched schools by now again. I wanted to kick myself for not having the courage to ask him right then and there.

"I can't promise that until you tell me what they are." I told Jacob.

"That's not my secret to tell." He replied quickly. I sensed he was getting nervous by my questions.

"Why not? Who am I going to tell?" I asked. "I am going to find out myself why he despises me. It kills me not knowing."

Jacob's tone started to sound angry. "Bella, you are insane for wanting to talk to him. He's not safe to be around."

"How could I know you're not lying if you can't even give me a good reason?" I questioned him. It seemed ridiculous for him to hide this secret. I thought we were closer than that.

"Sometimes I hate your stubbornness." He replied to me, avoiding the question.

"Love you too, Jacob." I said, and then hung up the phone.

Why was Edward making me making me throw tantrums with everyone around me? I was practically pulling my hair out thinking about him. Maybe I needed sleep.

An hour later, Charlie called to ask me about my day. After I took my shower and sat in bed, I couldn't help but feel homesick.

After what seemed like hours of trying to sleep, I finally was able to float into a state of unconscious.

My dream started out the same as before. I was in the forest, alone. It was very dark despite the moon being full. I was running around in circles trying to find my way out. I tripped and stumbled a few times as I made my way deeper into the forest. Suddenly, I saw a dark figure approaching me. As he got closer, the moonlight focused only on him. His skin displayed this iridescent glow that shocked me. His eyes were coal black and dangerous. I recognized him as Edward Cullen right away. I could never forget his glare.

I tried running away from him, but my legs suddenly weren't moving right. I fell down and my eyes locked with his once again. He smiled lightly, and then lunged at me.

I woke up covered in sweat. I looked around the room, making sure no one was there even though I knew that was impossible. This dream was more intense than the others. I noticed the clock only read 4 a.m., and I groaned pulling the covers over my face.

Who the hell was Edward Cullen, and why he is all I can think about?

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I hope you guys like this story! Weird question, but is anyone else still in love with Robert Pattinson? I'm trying to find a good movie with him in it to watch. I've already seen Remember Me. I hope you all have a great day. :)