Author notes: Here comes another chapter, as I promised, and of course thanks to YenGirl as usual, for giving her much valued help and also sharing her fangirlism with me. Love ya! --wink--

Disclaimer: I own Hourglass, which consists of borrowed characters from Vampire Knight, but not the Vampire knight itself.

"In my desperation,

I let you break my heart,

crush it to a million pieces,

recollect, reshape them

to your desire

again and again.

Hoping that someday

you will find one shape

you feel you like

and claim it as your own."

Chapter 4. Beyond the Glass Wall

Ruka glared angrily at her own reflection in the mirror, intentionally emitted a menacing aura that unnerved three maids who helping her with her party gown and hair-do. She stubbornly wore a frown between her brows, inviting silent bewilderment from her three maids, wondering what their young mistress was so unhappy about.

The antique clock that perched on the top of the fireplace showed nine fifteen pm. Only forty five minutes left before the party started. Ruka could feel herself growing more and more anxious inside. She wouldn't have enough time anymore.

She had spent the whole of last night desperately trying to get a chance to talk privately with Kain. She should have had a lot of leisure time with him after dinner ended, but then she was dragged into conversation with her family, while Kain easily excused himself saying that he was in a need of some sleep. Having used all of her wit to lead and steer the topic of their conversation through the dinner so that they left the topic regarding the upcoming party alone, Ruka was more than happy to assist his pardon, especially since he left her with a subtle signal insinuating that he would wait for her in his room.

But it proved that luck was really not on her side that night because a game of cards immediately followed the conversation, with her father, Takehiko and Ryuji. Ruka tried to decline using the same reason as Kain's but her father silenced her effectively by unveiling the fact that she had been sleeping the whole five hours trip on the train. Evidently, Saeko had passed down the information to him.

There went her only chance. And as if that was not bad enough, the game they played that night happened to be their father's favorite 'King of Streak', which meant that nobody was allowed to leave the game until they had hit ten winning streaks in a row.

Ruka wanted to skin them all alive – first her father, then each of her brothers. And especially Saeko…

By the time the game had ended, it was about seven thirty in the morning, and Ruka was sleepy and exhausted to the point that she was no longer able to distinguish between spade and clover. Ryuji won first, as usual, tailed by her father, then Takehiko. Leaving her as the king of losers.

In more ways than one, actually…

Ruka found Kain seated comfortably in her bedroom as she entered, overtly refreshed after six hours of quality sleep. She even smelled a strong scent of soap wafting from him, which meant he'd just had his shower. Kain only blinked upon her entrance, gave a thorough observation of her sleepwalking face and quickly left the room silently after drawing the room curtains closed so that she wouldn't have to do it herself before she went to sleep.

Ruka expected that she would be able to wake up by midday as usual, but apparently not. When she finally woke up, it was because Saeko was practically banging her door down at two in the afternoon. The headservant had brought in three maids with her, who were carrying heaps of party dresses in their arms for Ruka to choose from.

Great. A perfect way to start the day.

Again, Ruka had no choice but to comply with Saeko's firm order, trying on one dress after another for hours, looking for the most suitable piece to wear. Unquestionably, by the time Ruka was done with the ordeal, she was in a painstakingly sour temper, which rapidly turned into a combustible one when she found out from one of the maids that Kain had just left for town.

Irritated as hell, she waited until it was time for her to get ready for the party. But still, he had not come back.

Ruka was starting to get a really bad premonition from all this. If only she could have just ten damn minutes alone with Kain… Well, ten minutes were barely sufficient, but it would be far better than none at all. Ruka glanced again at the clock. Twenty five minutes left. She must make her decision. Now.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she said suddenly, with a strained and authoritative voice. Without waiting for any response, Ruka stood up and walked out of her room, not caring anymore that she had just undone an intricate arrangement of one of the ribbons that adorned the back of her gown.

Once freed from her three maids, she strode to Kain's room as fast as she could. She did not dare to run since she was wearing high-heeled shoes and if Saeko happened to see her running down the corridor, the old lady would definitely detain her for that, wiping out her last chance to talk to Kain.

In order to get to the third floor faster, Ruka took the shortcut using the storage room back stairs. She collided with one of the maids on her way and knocked down the pile of fresh napkins the girl was carrying. Muttering some words of apology, Ruka kept to her pace since she didn't have much time. Once she reached Kain's room, she didn't bother to knock and just simply barged in.

Much to her dismay, she found the room empty. It was obvious that Kain had just left to join the others downstairs, as she could smell his scent still lingering in the room. She quickly turned on her heel and went out. Just how was she supposed to speak with him now?

A maid walked past her in the corridor and Ruka grabbed her arm without thinking. She must find Kain. She must!

"Could you help me with something?" she asked the maid.

"...um... Sure, Ruka-sama," the maid nodded.

"Find Kain Akatsuki. You know how he looks like, don't you? If you don't, just find a tall honey-brown haired young man, very good looking, and with a piercing on his left ear, okay?" the maid nodded again obediently. "Tell him to... No, bring him to me, I'll be waiting in the drawing room," she sent the maid off.

Ruka half ran downstairs to the drawing room, hoping to heaven to find it empty. It was, and she cautiously slipped inside, closing the door behind her.

--

Kain closed his eyes tiredly as he leaned against the living room wall. His left hand moved distractedly to his neck and he started pulling at the tight collar and tie, trying to loosen it before he remembered that what he currently had on wasn't his school uniform. He exhaled impatiently and lowered his hand again, tucking it securely inside his pocket. The pristine white dinner jacket was a totally different attire from his daily Cross Academy uniform jacket which he could carelessly leave half its buttons undone, and wear the shirt outside his pants waistband. Considering how formal the party had turned out, he knew better that to wear this attire the way it should be and not the way he wanted to, even though it felt like it was slowly choking him to death.

Trying to shift his attention from his discomfort, he scanned the spacious living room. The maids had rather done a commendable job in decorating the room which now being occupied by a hundred or so guests who were busily chatting away while waiting for the party to start. Kain scowled as he mentally did a rough count of the male and female guests. Apparently, the number of males overrode the females here, as if confirming the truth of a rather shocking piece of information he'd easily pried off a maid this morning. It was the true purpose of this party that Ruka had been frightened to let him know.

--

"The party? Oh, it's Ruka-sama belated birthday party, Akatsuki-sama."

"Only that?"

"Well… not only that, actually…"

"No? So what is it?"

"I'm not really sure, Sir, but I heard others speak of... um… what do they call it…" she scratched her hair, thinking hard."Oh yeah, I remember! It's 'The official courting for Ruka-sama.'"

Kain's eyes widened at the words. "Courting?"

The girl nodded convincingly. "Ruka-sama turned eighteen this year. From what I heard it is a traditional practice of the Souen family to send their son or daughter who turned eighteen for marriage, or at least an engagement. It's a closed party, though, that means they have carefully chosen qualified candidates. Rumor has it that Ruka-sama has already chosen a few herself and there are also some exclusively chosen by Kyousuke-sama for her. Like the youngest son of Shushei family, for example. Some maids here already know of his close relationship with Ruka-sama these last few years, and that makes him the strongest candidate here. There's also the son of…"

The maid kept babbling on, but Kain didn't follow any of her words anymore. His mind was already elsewhere.

--

Obviously, now only God and Ruka herself would know why Kain happened to be standing inside the grand living room of the Souen residence, right at this very moment, trying to administer enough fresh air into his lungs. He was so sadly out of place here, in a party that had utterly no significant connection with him at all.

One thing he knew for sure was that no matter what rumor had it about the forthcoming engagement, Ruka didn't like the idea of being engaged. It was clear even to a fool that she was still unable to completely forget Kaname, that she must despised the idea of being engaged to someone else. But exactly why she needed Kain's presence here, he couldn't quite envision.

Maybe she needed him to protect her from some wild suitor? Kain imagined himself trying to protect her from a group of males with similar personalities to Aidou when the playboy noble was around Yuuki Cross – while she was still a school prefect. Well, that ought to be fun to watch, although it was also a highly unlikely occurrence, with the group of highly civilized noblemen here.

Or maybe Ruka needed his support? Needed him to comfort her if things somehow went awry? It was more or less what Kain had done for her on several occasions in the past when she had been down after being rejected by Kaname. Kain smiled wryly. That reason was more likely. It looked like that was all she considered him good for, wasn't it? He would never be more than a place she perceived as her shelter.

Kain also knew − with somewhat bitter realization, that she had never felt even the tiniest inclination towards him, at least not romantically. Even though Ruka had often shared many things with him for years, what she had for him had always been friendship. Friendship that would never develop into romantic feelings. That was a fact. And a fact he could not forget, especially since he learnt of the true purpose of the party.

Kain swore under his breath - he didn't know why he couldn't dismiss the unsolicited thought. It wasn't as if he would do something about his relationship with Ruka either. He had been more than sincerely contented to be one of her closest friends and the one she needed the most. No, he certainly didn't regret that part of his life. But right now he just felt ... how to say it...?… like someone who had just looked back to find that the years had flown passed him, with many things he'd missed out on, of what he had taken for granted and was now left to wonder what his life would've been like if only he'd done things differently from the start, and grabbed every chance he got…

In short, Kain was confused. He was feeling so many foreign emotions right now of which he was even afraid to find out their root causes. He was also feeling contradictory emotions arising from his apprehension of what Ruka would become in one month's time… and it shook him more than he dared to admit. It would certainly be two very different things, to witness her being with Kaname, and witness her being with someone else. Kaname had never reciprocated her feelings, so Kain had been laidback and content to just watch her. But that would not be the case with another man…

Kain knitted his brows and glanced at the big grandfather clock standing at the corner of the crowded living room. It was almost about time for the party to start. He once again scanned the crowded living room, taking in one by one the faces of the noble men standing there. One of them was going to be Ruka's fiancé soon.

Something constricted painfully inside his chest at the thought, and he realized that it was jealousy. He snorted. Where had that feeling come from? As if he had the right to be jealous… No, Kain was fully aware that he was being ridiculously insensible again, but he was tired of trying to deny it this time. He'd promised himself and he'd promised Ruka that he would help her with whatever she needed and she could use him to her heart's content… but that didn't mean he could always do something about his own feelings.

To be honest, Kain was also fairly enticed by the whole courting competition business. But he knew that there was no way he could participate in it. Because − even though he came from a well-known aristocratic family − he would never stand a chance against the other candidates who were being favored by Ruka herself or her family. And most importantly, he didn't want to confuse Ruka by doing so. He would be damned this time if he crossed the invisible line of close friendship between them now, when she already had enough problems of her own to deal with. So, even if he wanted to be selfish for just this once and maybe do something for his sake only, Kain realized that he just couldn't. He was her best friend, and he would do his best to remain as one. The only thing that he would do right now was whatever Ruka may possibly request of him. No more and no less.

The sound of quick footsteps from his left made Kain aware that someone was approaching and he turned before the person called him. It was one of the maids. She looked at him shyly with a crimson face and squeaked, "Akatsuki-sama?"

"Yes?"

She looked down at her own shoes, not quite daring to meet his eyes. "Um... Ruka-sama ordered me to bring Akatsuki-sama to her."

Kain sighed at the maid's words. What did Ruka want now? Surely she didn't intend to explain things to him now, in the short time that was left? Not that he needed any explanation from her anymore, by the way.

Kain shifted his gaze to the clock once again before back to the maid. "Where is she?" he inquired.

The maid quickly guided Kain out of the lively party atmosphere and in front of drawing room, then left him. Ruka was leaning on the window sill, looking outside when Kain entered the room. She didn't turn around when he closed the door − she didn't need to − since she already knew it must be him from his scent. Kain couldn't resist taking the opportunity to admire Ruka as she stood there.

She was wearing a floor-length, backless pale yellow satin dress covered with a flimsy golden see-through fabric layers from her waist down to the floor over its yellow satin base skirt. Her usually cascading hair was swept up high into stylish curls piled at the top of her head, leaving the pale and smooth skin of her back bare and open to his view. Ruka also wore a set of glittering diamond jewelry on her ears and neck.

"You look beautiful," the words came out of Kain's lips as a spontaneous compliment.

Ruka turned to face him. "Thanks, you're not bad yourself, Akatsuki," she said after a while, a little awed at how gorgeous he looked wearing the dinner jacket. So that's what he got from town, she concluded.

Kain smiled a little at her remarks. If only Ruka knew how uncomfortable this outfit was… "So, why did you call me here?" he asked even though he had the picture already.

"Because you should know something important before the party starts," Ruka said grimly.

Kain sighed and moved to place himself behind her. "One of your ribbons is undone. Hold still, I'll help you," he reached out for the flimsy fabric.

Ruka frowned. Ribbon? He was talking about her ribbon? "Akatsuki?" she was confused. Didn't he hear what she'd just said?

"I already know…," he said softly as both his hands deftly reworked the rather elaborate style of the dress ribbon. "… that this isn't a usual belated birthday party."

Ruka stiffened and turned instantly at Kain's word. "You know?"

"You have undone my work, Ruka. Please be still." Kain stepped around to her back and started again. "Save your breath. I already know because I asked one of the maids. It wouldn't even have been necessary if you had only told me about it earlier." Kain's hands were busy arranging and shaping the difficult fabric as he spoke.

Ruka didn't answer him directly, so Kain diverted his gaze from the ribbon to their reflection on the window's glossy surface. He saw that Ruka was wearing a deeply guilty expression on her face again. "Ah… I'm sorry," she mumbled apologetically.

Kain's divided attention caused his knuckles to accidentally brush against the soft skin of her back a couple of times. He held his breath the first time it happened, because the contact somehow felt… good. Dangerously good. Ruka felt so soft and warm and wonderful and… so not his.

Stop that! Kain gave himself a sharp warning. What the hell he was doing? Torturing himself?

Feeling angry at his own helplessness, he used all the will power he possessed to peel his eyes off Ruka's tantalizing back and keep his eyes focused on the ribbon only. But his hands were shaking a little and his knuckles accidentally brushed against the silky skin of her back again. Kain almost swore out loud at that. It made him grew harder to concentrate on the ribbon only. Her sweet scent had also started to tease his senses mercilessly.

This is such a mistake, helping Ruka, he thought ruefully.

And as if proving his thought was right, to his horror, Kain felt his chest tighten and burn while his blood started to rush − the beginnings of all too familiar symptoms of bloodlust. He pressed his lips tightly together, his body taut as he tried hard to dispel these uncomfortable sensations out of his system, but completely without success. He could also feel his fangs started to lengthen bit by bit.

This, Kain thought resentfully, was exactly what would happen when a vampire forgot about the basic rule of his own physiology; that either the scent of blood or physical contact with someone you were uniquely attracted to would often trigger sudden bloodlust symptoms. In his case, the reason was beyond doubt the latter. And it was what made it more appalling for him - to suffer the symptoms from a mere light skin contact with Ruka.

Damn, this shouldn't be happening! Kain cursed himself inwardly. He was a complete mess. First his mind, and now his body. He couldn't believe that his body was betraying him. He had to find something to quickly distract himself. Also, he needed his blood tablets. Fast.

"It was not making any sense actually, that you've been hiding all this from me. I've told you before, haven't I? That I came here because I wanted to? Are you afraid that I might refuse to come here just because you wanted some companionship?" Kain forced himself to keep speaking in an attempt to distract his mind. But his red-tinged eyes started to trail involuntarily to her slender neck nonetheless. He forced shut his eyes and swallowed with difficulty. "It's ridiculous. Honestly, Ruka, you should trust me more, you know," although not necessarily right at this very moment, when he had a strong urge to bite her.

Kain hurriedly finished the work and gave the ribbon its last adjustment.

Ruka shifted uncomfortably under his words which reeked of disappointment. "But that's not it! I mean − part of it was true, but that was not all. Please listen to me," Ruka sounded desperate and she once again tried to turn and face him while she talked.

Kain immediately used his left hand to grip her slim waist to prevent her from doing so. He didn't want to let Ruka see his bloodlust symptoms, and ask him the reason. For God's sake, he didn't know why for certain himself, so how would he be able to answer her? But the moment his palm touched her body, he instantly realized it was a big mistake. He gritted his teeth and jerked his hands off quickly as if he was being incinerated, his heartbeat accelerating out of control.

"Hold still, I'm not done yet!" Kain snarled. He realized that his voice was coming out more roughly than he'd intended, because he could feel Ruka stiffen in surprise.

Ruka snapped out of her astonishment. "Please, I don't care about the ribbon!" she jammed the heel of her right palm to her eyes in frustration. "Just look at me while I expl..."

All of a sudden the drawing room's door flew open, hard. It startled both Kain and Ruka, and cut off her sentence abruptly. Kain released the ribbon and stepped back with inhuman speed away from Ruka − not sure whether he should curse himself for forgetting to lock the door, or praise his luck for the timely interruption. Out of the corner of his eyes, he caught a glimpse of Saeko's figure briskly entering the room. He quickly hung his head, and pretended re-adjust his jacket corsage in order to hide his blood-shot colored eyes.

"Ruka-sama! I've been searching for you everywhere, the party is about to start," Saeko exclaimed. She linked her left hand to Ruka's right elbow to purposefully start steering her out of the room, but Ruka didn't move from her spot, her gaze fixed on the floor. "Ruka-sama? Are you okay?," she frowned and eyed both Kain and Ruka alternately.

Kain could feel Saeko's obtrusive stare on him and he decided it was a suitable time to flee. Keeping his gaze lowered still, he turned to walk towards the door before Ruka's soft voice made him pause for a moment. "Don't worry too much, Ruka. Just do as you wish - it'll be okay," he muttered without looking at her and left the room.

Kain's breathing grew labored as his bloodlust failed to cease and he knew he had to have his blood tablets now. He was getting angry at himself, for being such a wimp and getting all worked up over such a trivial thing. This was the first time he had suffered a bloodlust symptoms because of Ruka. Oh - wait, it wasn't really because of her, was it? Since Ruka was clearly oblivious of what he had experienced at that moment. She didn't even seem to be affected by their skin to skin contact. Kain was the one who was hot and bothered, like some kind of… some kind of pervert.

Come to think of it, he also had some funny, warmed-all-over feelings when Ruka was sleeping on his shoulder on the train. His reactions were exactly like an immature elementary schoolboy's whenever she got close to him physically. Correction − not just an ordinary elementary schoolboy, but a puppy-love-strickened one. He could just imagine Kaname's reaction if he found him like this. The pureblood would surely look disdainfully at Kain and told him that he needed more self control.

Kain moved as quickly as he could with his vampire ability back to his room. He threw open his suitcase and started to rummage through its contents quickly. Not finding what he sought, Kain took out his clothes in piles and searched more thoroughly. But still, his blood tablet package was nowhere to be found. Kain tried to recall whether he had brought it along with him or not, but he really couldn't remember. There was a big chance he'd left it behind in his room at the Academy when he packed his things hurriedly − as he'd been in such a bad mood too because of Aidou. Oh, how he wished he could fry his cousin right at this very minute...

Kain straightened up and quickly started to strip off his dinner jacket, vest and shirt. He was already suffering a stifling sensation in his lungs due to the tight jacket without his bloodlust making it worse, thank you very much. And while he couldn't get rid of the former, he certainly had to get rid of the latter no matter what it took.

Kain hurried into the bathroom. Leaning over the top of the washbasin, he turned the cold water tap on full blast, scooped the water with both hands and splashed it onto his face and hair. The water felt like ice on his warm skin but he didn't care. Gasping a little for breath, he splashed his face a few more times and straightened to look at himself in the mirror. His eyes gradually turned back to their normal brown color, but his fangs were still there, a little slower in returning to their usual form. Thank God the cold water worked, he thought.

Kain dried his head carefully to get rid of any excess water while made a mental note to ask for some blood tablets from Ruka later. Cold water was definitely not a long-term solution for bloodlust. He scrupulously wore back his clothes while he waited until all his symptoms had cleared up. From now on, no more lack of control, Kain vowed to himself as he took a final glance at his reflection in the mirror before heading back downstairs to re-join the party.

The living room was more considerably more crowded compared to when he'd left it earlier. Most of the guests were currently paying attention to Ruka's father, Kyousuke Souen. He was a tall and dark haired man, with an appearance comparable to a thirty to forty year old human, though his actual age was definitely more than that. He stood next to his daughter and his beautiful wife − who looked like a more mature version of Ruka − as he made some sort of announcement about his daughter.

Kain moved closer to get himself a better view. He wasn't really paying attention to what Kyousuke was saying because he suddenly found Ruka's fixed gaze on him from across the room. She was looking at him intently, but her eyes were emotionless and unreadable. Puzzled, Kain shifted uncomfortably on his feet and tipped his head questioningly at her. Was she angry at him because he'd left her just like that in the drawing room earlier?

She broke their eye contact.

Not wanting to have any speculative thoughts, Kain shifted his attention to what Kyousuke who was now saying. "…and as you ladies and gentlemen already know, each member of the Souen family who reaches the age of eighteen will be obliged and honored to receive their right to choose a befitting lifemate," the room was growing a little noisy with excited murmurs from some of the guests.

"For this reason, please allow me to use this opportunity to express my support for any gentleman who would like to court my beloved daughter, Ruka Souen, as..."

"I'm sorry...Father." Ruka's voice reverberated firm and clear inside the room preempting the others.

"...eh?"

The excited murmur lightened considerably as all eyes now stared at Ruka - Kain's was no exception.

"I'm sorry," Ruka repeated, looking first at her gaping father, then at the rest of her family members, then finally at the guests. "Because I'm afraid that I might not be able to accept your sincere courting anymore." Her voice was not loud, but it effectively silenced all those present. She was looking intently at Kain again. Some of the guests who noticed her fixed look now followed the direction of her gaze and looked at him as well.

Kain swallowed. He had a really bad feeling about all this.

Ruka was having the ghost of a smile on her lips. Still looking at him deliberately, she continued. "The reason why I can't accept that, is because…I have already made the choice of whom I would like to take as my befitting lifemate. He is my best friend, and we have known each other since we were young."

At once, Kain knew the real purpose of he was brought there. He now understood what Ruka was trying to say with her line of 'that was not all'. He didn't need Ruka to finish her sentence to know what she was going to say next.

"I see him as my future lifemate, and he already knows of my feelings for him…"

More and more pairs of eyes were glued on him now, and Kain wanted to groan aloud but he kept silent. Waiting for the final blow to fall. And it did.

"Kain Akatsuki, the honor is yours," Ruka finished softly, smiling at him. Her words plunged the entire room into a dead silence.

--

End note: Okay, everybody… please indulge me with a piece of comment so I know I got your attention? any thoughts?