TITLE: Heaven is a Place on Earth

AUTHOR: bolly69

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or concept; they belong to the BBC/Ashley/Matthew, etc.

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Poor Alex!!

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Chapter 4

The banging.

The bloody banging.

Jesus, her head would explode if the banging didn't stop. Alex opened her eyes, unsure of where she was, or even which way was up. Sofa. She was face down on her sofa. She slowly peeled her face off the striped cushion, sure her hair and make-up were matted to her face.

And still the banging continued.

Door.

Who the hell would be banging on the door at this time of night? Alex staggered to her feet. Glancing at the clock she saw it was only 7pm. Shit, what time had she fallen asleep? Mid afternoon? She couldn't quite remember. But the one memory burning in her mind was how cruel she had been to Gene, feeling her stomach churn at the thought of the hurt in his eyes.

She headed for the door, pushing her fingers through her hair to try to make it look a little less like she'd just woken from a drunken stupor on the sofa. Opening the door she saw Gene leaning on the door frame; mid knock, his gloved hand raised. Alex dropped her gaze to the floor, unsure of what to say, how to explain her vindictive words.

"Bolls." Gene strode into the flat "Think we need a chat"

Alex sighed and closed the door, following him into the living room, feeling too hung-over to chat about anything remotely sensible, praying it wouldn't lead to another slanging match; she couldn't bare to fight with him again. She picked up her leather jacket which had been strewn on the floor, and headed for the kitchen, head thumping. Christ, she must look a mess. "I need coffee. Want one?"

Gene followed her into the kitchen, "Yeah, thanks" His voice sounded tense she thought. He stood uneasily in the small kitchen, hands in pockets, while she moved around him organising coffee. The silence between them was deafening, Alex saw her hands tremble as she poured water into the mugs, both from the after-effects of alcohol and the harsh reality of her actions. Eventually Gene cleared his throat.

"Look, Alex, you're right. I don't say what I mean. Too bloody stupid to find the words I should be saying. Usually to you" He dropped his eyes to the floor and shifted where he stood. But he continued. "You think I shut you out. I don't. Well, I mean, I don't mean to, I try to look out for you, protect you, sort of…"

Alex stopped stirring the hot coffee and turned to look at him. It couldn't be easy for the Gene Genie to say these words to her. She took a deep breath, praying her own words would be kinder to him this time.

"Gene, I…. I'm sorry for what I said to you before. I was drunk, but that doesn't excuse what I said, it was unforgiveable, and I am sorry"

And she was. She'd spoken to him as a construct again, forgetting he was as real as she was, in this world at least, with feelings and emotions that could be hurt and shredded, as she knew only too well.

Alex continued, "It's just that after last night, I thought we had something, a connection. And then it seemed as though your barriers were down again," the tears welled up in her eyes again. Bugger. At least there couldn't be much mascara left to stream down her face. She could only just whisper "I couldn't get back in" She wiped a tear from her cheek. "I don't want you to be alone, Gene. Couldn't stand it if I thought you'd be alone. I'd choose to stay here rather than think of you the way I said……" She lifted her head and met his eyes. His glorious pools of blue, glistening back at her. But he quickly looked away.

"Yeah, well, maybe that's what I deserve Bolls. Any road, I came here to say, thing is, I think you're too emotionally involved with the Layton thing, so I don't think you should come back to work until you're, er, sorted, you know, in your 'ead, like"

"What?? What are you saying? Are you suspending me??" Alex was stunned.

"S'for your own good Bolls. Get sorted out, fighting fit, like, you know, then come back when you're ready" Gene didn't, or couldn't, look her in the eye, shuffling on the spot.

Alex felt the rage surfacing again; she'd bloody well apologised to him. She took a breath about to retaliate, but she couldn't do this, not now; no fight left. The tears welled up in her eyes but she blinked them away.

Her voice cracked, "Gene, please don't do this, you're shutting me out again. Please don't. Please?" She was crying now, hating herself for letting him see her tears.

Gene narrowed his eyes, finally looking at her, "You're not fit for the job Alex. Not like this" His voice was terse, abrupt.

"Oh God, Gene, please, please don't do this to me. I can't be hurt by you anymore ….. I …. I ………"

"What are you on about? What?" He looked puzzled by her words, her emotion.

"Gene, I .…. I …."

"What?"

"I …."

"Bloody spit it out woman!"

She let out a sob, "Oh damn you Gene Hunt,… I lov …."

Her head spun, stopping the words before they left her mouth, feeling a wave of nausea envelope her. She was almost angry for saying it, for feeling it. She buried her head in her hands and cried, her body trembling.

"Bloody 'ell Bolls. … Alex"

Gene moved forwards and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into his chest, her body shaking with the sobs. She felt the warmth of his body, the pounding of his very real heart; she breathed in his familiar musky smell, comforting her once again. He hugged her close and nuzzled into her hair, rocking her in his arms.

"Come on love, don't be blubbing again, that's not worth crying about is it?"

Alex was sniffing and sobbing, "We keep…sob ... fighting, …sob … and I feel more … sob … distant from you … sob … all the time" the pain was too much, she shuddered, crying like a child, "Oh Gene, … sniff … you're the only thing I have here."

"C'm 'ere. Jesus, Alex, what am I gonna do with you…." His voice was soft, almost sad.

Alex attempted to wipe the tears from her face, looking up at Gene. She stopped at what she saw there. His face was downcast, as though he knew her agony all too well.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere love, you can be sure of the manc lion. You know, you're alright, for a posh tart that is"

A smile glanced across Alex's lips; it felt for the first time in a long time.

Gene dipped his head until his nose was almost touching Alex's. She held her breath, not daring to move in case he backed off. She slowly moved her face to him, urging him to move closer still. His heart thumped harder against her chest, some kind of strange duel with her own racing heartbeat. She pushed her arms under his jacket and around his back, drawing his body to hers. He groaned, barely audible but she felt it, low and husky.

"Alex……."

"Ssshhh, don't …."

He lifted his hand and gently touched her cheek, traced along her jaw, where make-up tinged tears hung, waiting to fall. All the time his eyes searched her face, looking for what?

"Gene…." She tilted her head more towards his face, towards his lips. Gene met her gaze, understanding, and brushed his lips over hers. Alex gasped, opening her mouth, hungry for him; the rushing of blood in her ears was unsettling. She was barely able to believe this was happening, despite the fact that it was, and at that precise moment Gene's hand was feeling its way over her arse; the other entwined in her hair, pulling her yet closer; crushing open mouths together, tongues searching, bodies impatient with desire. She reached up and clung to his broad shoulders, allowing her weight to be taken by him. Wanting to be taken by him…

The banging.

Again.

The bloody banging.

Alex tore her mouth from Gene, gasping for air, "'S the door", her voice was husky, sultry.

"Fuck 'em" Gene growled, nuzzling into Alex's neck, nipping at her flesh.

"Guv! Guv, you in there?" Ray's voice came from the other side of the door.

"I'll bloody well kill Carling for this" Gene groaned, "Hold onto your knickers Raymondo" he shouted over his shoulder. Then quieter, "We're not done here Bolly, not by a long shot" He raised his eyebrows at Alex, and strode to the door.

Alex was breathing hard, her back against the kitchen worktop, holding on with both hands beside her, still reeling with the hang-over and the incredible passionate kiss from Gene.

She could hear Gene talking to Ray and Chris but couldn't make out the words. She suspected Gene was explaining away her absence. Well, she could hardly waltz through looking as rough as hell, hung-over with make-up and hair askew, but at the same time with her face flushed and lips swollen from one of the best kisses she'd ever had. Gene walked back into the kitchen, a frown on his face. Ray and Chris were still talking at the door.

"Right Bolls, you're not gonna like this, but I'm telling ya anyways. We've had a call, another associate of Layton's has been found dead, murdered it looks like. I'm gonna go with Ray and Chris to check out the scene … "

"I'll come with you … " Alex interrupted.

"No, Alex. Please. Leave us to do this one tonight. You've been through a lot these last couple of days" Gene held Alex's arm, his voice quieter, "Look, I'll come back here later and fill you in on what we find. If you're up to it that is?"

"Gene, I'm fine. Honestly" She touched his hand, at least that would give her time to freshen up, even sober up a bit more. Smiling, she said "I'd like you to come back later"

With a glance towards the door, he planted a kiss on Alex's nose, resting his head on her forehead, "Unfinished business, Bolls" his growl stirring something deep in Alex, sexy as hell she thought.

She watched him march out of her kitchen, her heart still beating, as real as anything she could ever remember. Still smiling, she brought her fingers up to her lips, where the memory of Gene lingered.

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Thanks for reading!

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