A/N: I DO NOT own any part of Watchmen.

Cravings

December 18th, 1984

The weeks flew by, accompanied by the arrival of late-fall weather which blew in with the wind, bringing brisk temperatures and snow flurries.

Having been raised in Ohio, I had come to embrace chilly winter weather, loving nothing more than the days I spent rolling around the snow with my father and my then-dog at the time, Simon. Bundled up protectively by my mother, I was able to enjoy packing heavy white snow in between my hands and lobbing them at my father when he wasn't looking.

There was just something about fall and winter themselves that resonated with me in such a way, I could hardly explain it. The moment the temperature fell, I came alive, turning my face to the cold wind as I snuggled up in thick sweaters and boots, joy rushing through me. Personally, I viewed winter as the coming as a new year (unorthodox yes), instead of spring, and once the cold weather came, so did changes.

And this coming winter would be the most magnificent of all, I could tell. It wasn't the way the snow fell pure white and early, or how I admired the on 5th Avenue in their warm stylish clothes. No, what told me that this coming year would be different, was the simple fact that I finally had someone in my life. Someone that I could call my own (to an extent).

The simple fact was, Adrian and I still had yet to acknowledge the fact that we had an actual relationship, however the way we had slowly evolved from two sexually-driven beings wanting nothing more than casual companionship had slowly begun to shift. For me, I began to notice the tiniest of things, the way I ached for him when he was away, and constantly harped over my actions, wondering if I was pleasing him. And Adrian himself, our "dates" turned into more than just opportunities for a sweaty romp. When he invited me out to dinner, he invited me back to his penthouse where we would simply sit up and talk for hours.

And it was more intimate than any sexual act I could even think of. More so than when Adrian sat between my thighs, caressing my swollen sex gently with his tongue, or when we clutched each other tightly, sweat dripping off our bodies as we panted and moaned. It was the most intimate of things, because we were so connected, simply by opening our mouths and engaging in a sanctimonious offering of our innermost thoughts, secrets, and feelings.

In addition to our blossoming relationship, my interactions with Jon became more pronounced as well. No longer did I find myself constantly horrified and intimidated by him, but steadily becoming more comfortable with each passing day. The two of began to converse more freely, although there were still times that Jon said or did things that scared me shitless.

All in all, it was safe to say that things were going well, especially one particular December afternoon when Adrian approached me at my desk as I worked on a diagram. Clad in a pair of grey slacks and a black turtleneck sweater, I looked up, my pinned-back hair tickling the nape of my neck. As I shifted my gaze, the chandelier earrings I wore brushed my neck, a gift from Adrian himself.

"Hi." I smiled, unable to stop myself as giddiness welled inside of me. It was sickening, to a point where I wanted to slap myself across the face so that I could return to reality, and once again become the Stefani Mignon whose number one priority was her work and nothing else. Unfortunately with my arrival to New York, that Stefani was gone, and this one was here to stay.

I had to admit though, as the weeks went by, something remained uneasy within me. A small part of me, the tiniest of voices pestered like a gnat, causing me to wonder if maybe, just maybe, there was an ulterior motive behind Adrian's actions. In truth, what we were doing was one of the most irresponsible and dangerous things Adrian could possibly do. He was the most famous man in the world, and I could destroy his squeaky-clean reputation, and there was no way he couldn't have known it.

Everything was just too perfect. Adrian was too kind, too timely, too romantic. Each and every one of his actions directed towards me was masked behind a that billion-dollar smile that was too sincere.

Was I simply being paranoid, or did I have a point? Were my silent inquiries just the rational part of me, trying to force myself to see the truth?

The biggest question however, was did I want to see the truth? I was so wrapped up in my supposed bliss that if perhaps my unfounded suspicions were correct, then maybe, just maybe, I didn't want to believe them.

And wouldn't that be exactly what he wanted? To count on my foolishness so that in the event I did discover the truth, I wouldn't be willing to face or accept it. He truly was a genius, in just about every aspect of his life.

"Just a quick question, what do you generally do for Christmas?" he asked, leafing through several papers on my desk and I swallowed, heart racing in my chest.

I hated what I had become, this idiotic girl who had been deduced to nodding excitedly and smiling each and every time Adrian approached me. Once upon a time not so very long ago, I looked upon girls who acted this way with a mixture of disdain and disgust, pitying them for the fact that they couldn't see the more important things in life. And now, I was one of those girls, and indeed, I was disgusted.

"Just dinner with my family. We fly out to Augusta to stay with some relatives for a few days, everyone comes in, all that jazz. Why?" I replied curiously as I tried to read Adrian's blank face, completely devoid of emotion and full of ice as usual.

"Well I was wondering if you would consider joining me and a few close friends at Karnak for a holiday get-together. I know it's quite a difficult proposition, family is of the utmost-"

"-Yes." I cut him off, the word flying from my mouth before I even had the chance to fully think what he had just said through.

Yes, Christmas was a family affair. For a majority of my family members, it was the first time we saw each other in a year, coming from across the country and visiting from different places. Year after year, indeed the routine was tiring and a bit wearisome after already having a big shindig at my home for Thanksgiving, however it was simply something we did.

As soon as I realized of what I just said, I was all but slapped in the face with the conscious acknowledgement of my actions. I was slowly and slowly losing my ability to think rationally and make decisions, I was becoming someone I didn't know.

The Stefani Mignon who had grown up in Ohio would barely give thought to skipping out on the family during Christmas, and even if she were to consider it, it would be talked over with family members to gather advice and issue a warning far enough in advance to avoid disappointing the family. She was a strong and independent woman, who while down on her luck, was happy to return home to two loving parents and an evening of watching old films.

That Stefani Mignon wore her hair up, and wore make up only on special occasions. She dressed professionally, but only to look presentable, not to show off her body. She thought about others, lived in the world, and believed hard work was the key to success.

I was no longer the young woman I had grown up priding myself in. Within the course of a few weeks, I was slowly turning into something unrecognizable, and the thought was frightening, as well as infuriating.

"I did not expect an answer so quickly I must admit. Listen, I want to say I know that our relationship may be a bit…confusing to you, and I can assure you that I certainly care a great deal for you. You must understand I'm not accustomed to having a girlfriend per say, and of course there's the press to worry about. But I just want you to know that…well, I enjoy being with you."

A mixture of emotions rumbling within me, I tried to smile, my lips breaking and revealing teeth in a way that seemed like a plaster mask. God, what the hell was I doing? What the hell was he doing? A part of me leapt for joy, fingers touching the sky with child-like excitement. The other part screamed loudly, warning bells going off in my head. The way he had said what had just been said was too planned, too perfect.

I found myself unable to do anything but sit there, trying to come to terms with my actions. What was I turning into?

"Listen, do you have plans for tonight? I know this is a little short notice but I was thinking maybe you could come over for dinner, I'll cook. How does that sound?"

No.

"Yes." I spoke aloud, my mouth once again moving on its own accord. Sitting and staring up at Adrian, I watched as a slow smile crossed his face before he leaned down and gave me a peck on the lips then ran a hand through his hair.

"Wonderful. I'll be back around later to tell you what time."

With that, he walked away, and I bit my lip, sinking back into my chair with a massive slouch. Shaking my head, I tried to push the thoughts away and convince myself that there was nothing wrong with what I was doing. After all, I was 20 years old, it was about time I had a serious relationship, especially if I planned to marry and have kids at a respectable and still-safe age.

Phone calls from my mother in recent days had become more and more often, alerting me of wedding invitations sent to the house from college and high school classmates. They were beginning a new chapter in their lives, and here I was behind.

I wondered if perhaps my suspicions of Adrian were simply from inexperience. Maybe I was just nervous, afraid of getting hurt by the first man I had ever really let into my life, after all it made sense.

I needed to stop being afraid and embrace what I had with Adrian. Maybe I would be hurt, maybe I wouldn't either way, I needed to move into the realm of my love-life, and I needed to do so before it was too late.

"Damn." I muttered under my breath, leaning forward and resting my head in my hands. I was totally and completely overwhelmed by the conflicting emotion that I was feeling. It was as though the world was caving in around me, rapidly and violently with such force that it threatened to destroy me totally and completely. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to do so many things but most of all, I wanted to shut out the infinite questions and thoughts in my head.

"You seem upset."

Jon's voice crept up on me, all but caressing my wracked form and soothing my frenzied body. Instead of the constant intimidation I felt in his presence, I was suddenly filled with a longing for him to accept me. Turning around, I looked up at him, gazing into his milky white eyes with impassioned hopefulness that I was certain he could see.

"Was it that obvious?" I said softly. There was something about Jon that was so comforting. It may have been his massive form which towered over me, or his soft voice which was subtly comforting. I was certain however that it was the way that he looked at me.

I noticed that each and every time Jon and I made eye contact, I was met with a studious gaze that seemed to look into my very being. It was as though Jon really listened to what I said, taking in each and every word carefully as though it was important, even if it wasn't. It was such a strange feeling, to have someone treat you as though you mattered, and I couldn't get over it.

"It would surprise you to know how easily the emotions of a young woman can be read."

Suddenly, a sound escaped my lips that I had not been expecting: a laugh. Giggling lightly, I let myself smile, joy only growing as Jon returned the gesture. Who would have believed that such a man would be funny as well?

"I suppose you're right." I shrugged, shaking my head then looked up at Jon excitement rushing within me as he gazed back intently.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked kindly.

His words wrapped around my heart, inducing an excitable warmth that left my entire body tingling in excitement.

"No I don't think so. What I really need is just to get out of this place." I returned honestly. In truth, I wanted nothing more than to disappear from the lab, away from Adrian and my inability to understand what Adrian wanted from me. It was all too much, like millions of birds chirping in my ear at once. I needed quiet soon, or I feared I would lose my mind.

"Somewhere such as Central Park?" Jon spoke, just as the location went through my mind.

Central Park, a place of majestic beauty that I had fallen in love with since coming to this city. The lush green trees, vibrant grass, and fantastical nature that engulfed 843 acres of land.

The way the trees stood tall, the air still, Central Park seemed to be the one place in Manhattan where the noise was muted, and no troubles existed. I know it was a silly fantasy, to believe that the place was as perfect as I envisioned each time I went, however it was hard to shut out the feeling I felt when I was there.

Like Holly Golightly's description of Tiffany's, Central Park gave me the feeling of a place where nothing bad could ever happen. It caressed me like the tender arms of a mother comforting her child, and relieved me of all my fears and troubles.

"Central Park is-"

"Your favorite place." Jon finished for me, and I simply stared at him.

The way I heard him describe things was that he could not see the future, only the future as it concerned him. I wondered if perhaps I had mentioned it in the near future, and then wondered something else…what else did he foresee in a future between the two of us? A blossoming friendship? A relationship? Sex?

Immediately at the thought a flush crept into my cheeks. Sex with Jon, what would it be like? How would it compare to the nights I spent in bed with Adrian? Could it? Would it?

Adrian was the first lover I had who was strong, certain, and experienced. He knew how to please a woman in many ways, instead of the clumsy nervousness I was used to. More than that though, he was dominant, from the way he would pin me down to his voice as he whispered into my ear darkly, pumping inside of me.

And what of Jon? How would he make love? Even now, as he stood naked before me, I wondered how it would feel to let my fingertips brush his glowing pectorals and brush my lips against his. We had touched but once, however I had not forgotten the feeling as those tiny blue sparks of electricity traveled up my arms. If a simple touch could do that, what about a kiss? What of his lips on my neck, between my breasts, brushing my hardened nipples?

Did he get erections? Was I observing the extent of his length? And I could not help but wonder how incredible it would feel for him to be inside of me.

Sex. I was thinking about sex with Jon, a thought that sent blood surging through my cheeks, coloring them bright red.

"You're blushing. Have I said something that embarrasses you?" John questioned and I dared myself to look up, unable to stop from noticing the smallest of smiles that played on his lips, as though he knew just what I had been thinking.

"N-no. I was just…." I trailed off, words failing me.

"Would you like to go to Central Park?" Jon then continued, giving me a break from the unsavory thoughts tumbling around in my dim-witted brain.

"Oh…well I didn't drive. I don't know if you take taxicabs much."

"There is no need. Hold onto me." He extended a well-muscled blue arm.

Curiously, I hesitated for a moment before taking it, wrapping my fingers around his wrist gently. Immediately, I melted against his heavenly touch, my body filling with a warm happiness, a burst of endorphins that soared like some sort of drug high. Jon's body was like a drug, propelling me into a new world with just the smallest of hits, and I wanted to party.

Suddenly, the world around us disappeared into a haze of blue light, a blinding explosion that sent a shock through my body with a blur. And then…

The cold air slapped against my skin, December air piercing my flesh like dozens upon dozens of needles. Shivering violently, I clutched myself tightly just as an intense wave of nausea tore through me, sending me doubled over as bile rose in my throat.

I fought the reaction violently, trying in vain not to vomit and waited for several moments before the sickness subsided. Looking up, I breathed, my breathe coming out in a stream of cold frost and it was then that I realized…I was in Central Park.

Not just Central Park, but Central Park engulfed in a beauty blanket of snow that sparkled under the snow, each flake shimmering like something out of a Tchaikovsky composition. The exquisite magnificence was simply indescribable, however nothing was comparable to the way I felt.

Nothing in the world mattered, not the war that loomed above our heads, not the way a heavy blanket of pollution covered our air, not even the insignificant yet world-changing drama that I was facing in my own life. No, nothing mattered because I was standing before the beauty of God, gazing upon a creation so wonderful that it warmed me, even in the blistering cold.

"You are cold." Jon suddenly said behind me and I turned around, forgetting he was with me, forgetting how I even got there. The statement made me aware of the intensity of the cold against my ill-suited clothing. Clad in merely a black suit, I shivered, my exposed legs aching against the cold.

"I should've brought a coat. It was all so sudden though. It's just so beautiful." I breathed as I gazed at Jon. In truth, I wasn't sure if I was really talking about the scenery, or the man who stood before me, somehow beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

"Come, I can warm you." He extended his arms and I stepped into them, his touch enveloping me. Within a matter of seconds, the air around me rose in temperature and I found myself no longer shivering, but standing comfortably amidst the snow and ice. For once though, that wasn't what I was thinking about. No, I was thinking about Jon.

He was handsome, beautiful, the way his skin glowed. It was entrancing, but more than anything, arousing.

I wanted-needed-to touch him. I needed to feel his skin under my fingertips, I needed to hear his voice. I needed to feel his lips.

Reaching out, I placed a hand on his broad chest, amazed by the incredible definition of muscle. He was solid, completely rock-hard contrary to his ghostly-looking form, and his skin was slightly cool. Gently, I trailed my hand across Jon's chest then shifted my gaze, moving up to trace the line of his jaw with my finger.

My heart pounded in my chest, my breathing quickened, and an intense arousal like nothing I had ever known grew within me, stirring inside my body and setting my sex on fire.

Forcefully, Jon wrapped a hand around my wrist just as my index finger reached his lip. Clamping me tightly, I continued to stare into his white orbs, overcome with a powerful desire that dominated just about every thought in my head.

"Kiss me." I whispered, leaning into him.

For the longest of moment, Jon simply stared at me then leaned in, placing his large hands around my face and pressing his lips against mine.

It was an explosion that blasted away everything I knew, soft currents of electricity dancing in my body and cooling me like menthol. I felt as though I could rise to my toes, floating on air. Hungrily, I opened my mouth and much to my surprise, Jon's tongue entered. The feeling was enough to cause tremors to wrack my body as I struggled with self-restraint, pushing my hips forward slightly and hoping it would alleviate the throbbing of my increasingly wet pussy. Wet within a matter of seconds in fact.

A magnetic force of energy rushed through my body so powerful that I twitched slightly, my body tensing as Jon held me in his arms. Without warning, he pulled away quickly leaving my lips waiting for nothing but air and robbing me of the incredible feeling that had just overpowered me.

Opening my eyes, I gazed up at Jon, my chest rising and falling rapidly as my body tingled, more alive than I had ever felt in my life.

"I apologize." Jon said quietly, and I simply continued to stare at him, gazing into his handsome face with intensity. I wanted him to touch me, kiss me, I wanted him like I had never wanted anything in my entire life, body and soul.

"Jon, I want you." I whispered, standing on my toes and leaning in to kiss him once more only to have him place a finger on my lip gently, stopping me in my place. Pushing me back ever so tenderly, I breathed into his touch, my body melting slightly with his rejection. The kiss had been so utterly powerful, how could Jon deny me after such an immense moment?

"No. Perhaps we should return before Adrian notices our absence."

Adrian. God damn it Adrian Veidt. Adrian, the most powerful, intelligent, and wealthy man in the world, the man who I apprehensively called my pseudo-boyfriend.

The man who was my first real boyfriend, making me wonder if perhaps something more would blossom between us in the future.

Adrian.

My insatiable lust and excitement quickly transformed into a sickening nausea that nestled in the pit of my stomach, guilt and confusion exploding within me before I even had a chance to put my thoughts together.

What the hell was I doing? I had a date with Adrian later that night, I was forsaking my family on Christmas for him, and here I was kissing another in the park. Who the hell was I? What was I becoming?

"Take me back." I said quietly, managing to get my voice out through a sharp croak. Jon said nothing, simply grasped my wrist and I closed my eyes as we disappeared, the world flashing around us before we arrived once more in the lab.

Without a word, I walked over to my desk and sat down, staring into empty space as my thoughts reverberated and jumped off the sides of my brain violently like some sort of fucked up pinball machine.

"Jon, I've been looking all over for you!"

The voice drew my attention, and as Laurie walked into the lab, her brunette hair swinging behind her back in an annoying fashion which reminded me of the girls I hated in high school, I suddenly realized I had a bigger problem here. I had not only wronged Adrian, but her. This was about more than my muddled confusion, there were more people to think about than just myself.

What the hell was I doing?