9:27 Firstfall/November 9th

Well it's early morning. The sun hasn't come out yet. I had an odd dream last night and one that I needed to write down as soon as possible. One that I haven't had since I first came here to Ferelden.

I woke up in the fade. It was easy to piece together what I went through to get to Ferelden was the fade. The first time I was there I couldn't believe I didn't put together the pieces. The ever changing colors? Floating islands and green sky? Blurriness and realness that seems fake? Totally the Fade but I was just in an almost fatal car crash, so of course I didn't figure it out.

It was here that my vision was blurry for some odd reason. It looked like the desert on the outskirts of the city I used to live in. I remembered that the fade usually presented itself as places you've visited. I would be passing this scenery in the car on the way to visit my family in the next state. There were tons of natural plants, bushes, and a few small trees. There were mountains in the distance that I could see if I squinted. Curse my short sightedness. In the sky were floating islands that were common place in the fade. There was the weird sun that didn't give any warmth and the odd green sky. I stared out in front of me, blinked a few times, looked around some more, then looked down. I was standing on a dirt path. I sighed, not really seeing anything else to do, and started to walk. I kept walking but the scenery didn't change. I realized I was walking parallel to a paved road. I decided to take that instead. Everything seemed so off.

There were no animals. There were no bugs, no chittering of birds, no coyotes or snakes. This place was devoid of all life. Where were the spirits at least? Wasn't the fade their home? Good spirits don't usually get involved with humans anyway. I shudder to think if a demon found me, ugh. Suddenly I felt that odd presence from the first time. I was being watched. I looked around. There weren't a lot of things to hide behind here. I knew I was just seeing it somewhere, then there it was. I would say about 5 meters away from me. The spirit looked like a halo just like the first time. A good spirit I guess? Bad demons don't look like halos.

I tilted my head at it, confused, and, for some odd reason, I felt it doing the same thing.

"Hi." I said, and waved. I felt it recoil a bit and look around even though it didn't have a face to look around with. It was wondering. It was curious. I don't know how I was able to feel these things from it, but I didn't ask any question about it either. I just knew. "Nice day for a walk huh?" Yeah, that didn't sound awkward at all. I felt it look at me. We stared at each before I began to get antsy again. There was nothing to be done staring at each other all day, or night? So I continued to walk. Every so often, I would look to my right and there it was floating along with me. Then out of nowhere it appeared in front me. From the way it was feeling, it said not to go any further.

"Why not?"

Danger.

The fade was a dangerous place to be in for a mage. Spirits made the fade their home and also demons. Demons would try to tempt a mage into giving up their bodies to experience the real world. I know that demons can even affect normal people by making them Reavers to be able to use demonic energy outside of the fade. Mage or not, if the spirit was telling me there was danger ahead, I listened. I nodded in confirmation and it made a sigh of relief.

Then I opened my eyes. I was awake. I usually have vivid dreams but I could never remember what they were about when I woke up. It was usually something stupid like trying to find a matching set of shoes.

This was different. I was in the Fade and remembered. The ones that travel the fade while they sleep are supposed to be mages. Me a mage? It would be pretty cool but I had to check first. I looked toward my candle as I wrote and tried to command it. All it did was just flicker like it usually did. Nope, not a mage.

Well I'd better get back to sleep. Signing off.

9:27 Firstfall/November 10th

Today would have been my son's second birthday. I fidgeted with my gold ring all day, twirling it on my finger. I remembered his dimply face, his asian looking eyes, big smile, his gree-ing laugh. Although I'm Mexican, I have almond shaped eyes. I passed it on to him. He looked so much more like me than his father.

I missed them so much. The loneliness crept up slowly. A week away was ok, the loneliness was kept at bay. Two weeks and I started to think about it more. Now it's been 2 months since I've been here. I'm missing them dearly. My son, my daughter, my family. I miss my mom's pozole. I miss my brother and my dad. I miss my husband.

My poor husband. I wonder if time passed by? Did the days go by like they did here? Was I missing for two months over there? How was he handling my disappearance, or even my death? I had so many questions and no answers. I kept sighing all day just missing them. Oriana noticed. I wasn't even playing with Oren as much. I looked at him and I saw my son. It made my heart wrench.

Being a mother was hard. Being a mother without her children was harder.

And all this worrying was causing me to have another migraine.

"Are you ok Nia? You look pale." Oriana asked. Oren was in her lap, a sweet roll in his mouth.

"My head is hurting again. It's like someone is forcing a needle in the center of my forehead. Then they're trying to push out my eyeballs." I explained. I hated migraines. They only come when I worry or when I'm stressed. I was both. All this thinking about my family is making me think about questions. Questions mean stress. Stress is bad.

"Our resident healer is away at the moment. Go visit Aldous. He should have some elfroot potions." Oriana suggested. My mouth turned into a grimace. Honey and grass smoothie? Don't mind if I do. Unfortunately, that was the only thing that would make this migraine go away.

Oriana helped me up to the door. I told her not to worry too much and made her stay to go through her letters. I walked toward the study or tried to. The migraine was starting to become worse. The bright snow was not making anything better either. The light was felt like it was stabbing my eyes. I memorized the layout on the castle and I go down the last corridor where I knew Aldous' study would be. I grabbed at the walls. I felt wobbly and dizzy. My legs weren't listening to me anymore. The pressure was becoming immensely painful. All I wanted to do was hug the wall or curl up in a fetal position. It would suck to pass out right now. That would be no bueno.

I bumped into someone and they held me by my shoulders. I tried to blink away the pressure to get a good look at the person.

"Excuse me, are you alright?" I heard that voice before. Lo and behold, Ser Gilmore the red head. It still freaked me out that he barely had any eyebrows but, right now, I'm glad that he was there.

"Ser Gilmore..." I managed to say before swaying slightly. He kept me up right with his hands. "I'm not feeling too good." Understatement of the year.

"Is there...oh! You are heading towards Aldous? Here, lean on me." I did as he said. He led me slowly while I just closed my eyes. I hated this. I hated feeling useless. Finally, after what I felt was an eternity, we reached Aldous' study. The fireplace at the end burning bright. I heard Aldous' muffled voice but at this point just even hearing anything caused me great discomfort. I just held my head in my hands trying to focus on something other than the pain. I felt someone take my hand and put a vial into it. I recognized the smell. Well, bottom's up. I drank the whole vial. I coughed, the taste was disgusting. I will never get used to that.

"There. Feeling better?" Aldous said. I nodded. The pain in my head started to feel numb and I was able to see again. Ser Gilmore was still there right behind Aldous. I rubbed my head a little bit until the pain faded. I have some concerns about the taste but nothing beats an elfroot potion.

"Thank you Aldous and thank you Ser Gilmore." I said, bowing in my chair.

"Please, there's no need to thank me. I wanted to help you." He said sincerely. Ah if there were only more men like him out there. The world would be a better place.

"Gilmore!" And of course the happy moment has ended. In came Eren using his walk/strut. "There you are! Come now, the market place awaits!" He slapped him on the shoulder. Gilmore stood there, not moving. Comparing both of them, Gilmore was the meatier of both of them.

"Of course my lord. I hope for your recovery." Gilmore bowed to me. Eren gave me a glare and, as he walked out, I stuck my tongue out. Aldous just laughed at me.

9:27 Haring/December 13th

I've had more dreams about Halo. Yes it looks like a halo so I've dubbed it Halo. The scenery changed every single time I'm there. Well more like it cycled through. Sometimes it was the mountains and desert, the beach, a forest with a lake or just a regular forest. Sometimes there was snow. Other times, there wasn't. The creepiest setting was, sometimes, I was in my old city or where my old house was. All buildings and no life anywhere besides me and Halo. I'd rather have the forest or lake.

I did notice a running theme no matter where I was in the fade. There was always a path and I always walked. There was nothing else to do. I also found out how to get a weapon to come into being. It was weird how I did it the first time. I got startled and, for some odd reason, remembered the wooden sword that my husband gave to me to work out with. I imagined swinging it where I first heard the noise and it came in my hands. Now I walk with a set of brass knuckles. They were illegal where I used to live. It didn't stop me from putting my keys in between my knuckles just in case. That was the downside of having to go to work at 3 in the morning.

Halo was usually off to the side of me. It was always a couple of meters away from me but the more I dreamt of it, the closer it came to me. Soon it was nearly beside me. I could feel some sort of apprehension from it and familiarity. It knew me somehow. I didn't question it. I vented to it most of the time.

Being employed by the Couslands was a sweet deal. I had my own private room. I could eat good food. I had a bathroom! But I was just so bored! I was one to sit on my butt when I came home and just opened my laptop to whatever was there. I could occupy myself for hours on something but even then I got bored of the internet. How does one get bored of the internet? Not that easy, needless to say, I got bored here really quick. Being Oriana's handmaiden kept me occupied for most of the time. Then there are days when I had too much time for myself. Oriana thought she was being a good boss for giving me some time to myself, but I liked to work. Instead I would go into the kitchens to help Nan or even do laundry. If didn't want to do that, then I would crochet or practice some drawing.

Of course then I would go to sleep and then I would dream of the fade. Sometimes, as I walked through the fade, Halo would stop right in front of me. It would always say Danger. I had a feeling that we're not the only ones traveling this path. So far I've had Halo with me to protect me. I don't know how long that will last though.

-/-

The rest of the day was spent with me in my thoughts. Today was my brother's and my daughter's birthday. Oh and I'm now 23 from last month. I forgot about that. I never thought that would happen to me. I always liked my birthday but this time it just reminded me of how long I've been away from home.

I was sighing all day, messing with my ring again. It was on this day that Oriana asked me about it.

"I have a question Nia. Are you married?" Oriana asked. She and I were crocheting together a shawl.

"Yes I am." I said. I made sure that my knots were pretty and continued.

"You don't really talk much about your family." Oriana said.

"I try not to. Truthfully, I don't know if I'll ever go back home. Not that this isn't my home mind you. It's just not the same. Actually, today is my daughter's and my brother's name-days." Yes that is how they say birthdays here.

"Is that so?" Oriana wondered.

"Yeah. My brother would have been 25 and my daughter would have completed her first year." I said. Ah yes my fat turkey. Don't look at me like that, everyone has weird nicknames that their parents put on them. Oriana gave me this long sad look.

"...You miss them." Oriana said softly.

"More than they'll ever know..."

The rest of the day I had a neutral face on. I cried my eyes out later that night.

9:28 Wintermarch/January 1st

Happy new year! Thank God I was able to survive. Today is all about merriment and drinking. More emphasis on the drinking for some. Nothing much to report other than I'm going to get tipsy and just call it a night.

Oh and Oren is finally speaking in sentences! Woo!

9:28 Guardian/February 1st

Another month has gone by. It's amazing how time flies when you're working. Oren was starting to pick up his lessons quickly now. I think his brain put two and two together. He still has trouble pronouncing things. He sounds so innocent and cute.

Also today is another holiday called Wintersend. It's almost like Easter and it's a Chantry holiday. It's also when there's a gigantic tourney. I've seen the stadium as I walked with Oriana through the city a couple of times. Fergus and Eren are both going to be a part of it. Bryce will oversee it. It's a big hit with everyone. It also allowed Bryce to pick out suitable men for the army.

"Do the participants get really hurt?" I asked Oriana. We were in a wagon heading toward the stadium. It had snowed heavily the last few days but today was clear. We needed to walk a part of the way there.

"There are rules during the tourney and we have healers on standby." I mentally cringed. It was hard to even watch professional fighters on the T.V. This would be the real thing right in front of me. The wagon dropped us off near the gates.

"Oh this accursed snow. I would have loved to wear the shoes I bought from the merchant from Orlais."

"If you want your feet to turn black, it's your choice my lady." Oriana looked at me and huffed. I chuckled a little bit.

We entered the stadium. It's modestly sized. Nothing like the great ones we made for football or baseball. I would guesstimate that you could probably seat around 10 thousand people. Enough for the half of the city anyway. Oriana and I went into the booths that were closer to the fighting. Bryce and Eleanor already in their seats. Oren was being taken care of by Nan back at the castle. The stadium was packed full of people, humans and elves. Elves weren't allowed to enter, but they could watch.

Bryce went ahead and made his announcements for a good tourney. The Revered Mother said a few things from the Chant of Light to complete it. Finally the tourney started.

The tourney consisted of all one on one matches. Fight until the opposing side can't fight anymore, yields, or is knocked unconscious. You can't kill your opponent. When you win your fight, you continue onto the next round until the finals. There was no reward besides a small reward of gold and the bragging rights.

The fighting was a marvelous thing to see and a little painful actually. I'm an empathetic person. I saw these guys hitting each other with their swords and maces and I cringed in my seat. Fergus and Eren are both doing well. Even Ser Gilmore was there! They were all doing very well. All of them favored the sword and shield. Fergus would look over to Oriana whenever he started a fight. Eren had some fangirls that he waved to.

The battles never lasted more than about 5 minutes. There was no time limit, the guys that were fighting were just that good. At last we're at the semi finals. Ser Gilmore against Eren. Oh this will be good.

Ser Gilmore and Eren greeted each other before going to their starting points. Bryce announced them to fight. They started to circle one another. I was on the edge of my seat. Eren made the first move.

He moved like a bulwark with his shield which met Ser Gilmore's shield. Ser Gilmore was bulkier than him, but was almost overwhelmed by Eren's momentum. Eren started to stab but Gilmore used his shield to push him away. Again, the circling. Gilmore attacked with a few precise slashes which Eren mostly caught with his shield. A slash did connect on his arm. That was going to leave a bruise. They kept trying to overpower each other with their own shield. They were making use of their defense as an offense.

Eren's shield was smaller than Gilmore's, which allowed him to maneuver around Gilmore. Eren caught the back of Gilmore's knee with his sword, which made Gilmore's leg to give out. Gilmore tried to roll, but with that bulky armor, he wasn't having an easy time. Eren's knee came down on Gilmore's chest and his sword right on his throat.

"I-I yield!" Ser Gilmore shouted. People started to dance upon the stands and I pouted. Eren was waving his hands like a maniac. His fangirls were going crazy. Eren looked over to where we were and our eyes connected. He gave me a smug smirk.

Oh how I would love to punch his teeth out.

Woah, I never expected this much of a turn out. I mean I like reviews but I got a lot of people following this :3 Shout-out to sweetnessnme for the first review!

Thank you to sweetnessnme, Aimee Morrigan, ademolix, great northern one, Dree66, Jess94Phase, Phobopobia, and Wolfzero7 for following/favoriting this story :D

Yes just bare with me with the filler. I'm already onto chapter 13, and I'll just tell you right now. These chapters are tiny compared to the rest.

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