Hey guys. Thank you for your continue reviews, follows and favorites. It so awesome! I really wanted to get these two together, so I am updating again. Lol. I miss seeing them on my TV, it's different when you know that your show isn't just on a break, like I'm pretending it is lol.
Derek walked into the elevator inserted his key card to his condo. He was still on a high from the conversation with Karen, and some what confused by it all at the same time. It was clear that they both having feelings for each other, but now what? Did he just leave Ivy.
"Ivy" Derek was surprised to say the least.
"I didn't know where to go. So I came here." She said with a small broken smile.
It was clear to Derek that she had been crying. Then Derek saw the bottle of scotch sitting next to her.
"Are you bloody Mad? Have you been drinking?" Derek said snatching the bottle from the table. It was empty. "Ivy why would you do this to yourself…..to our child?"
She laughed her words clearly slurred. "I saw you Derek. Everybody saw you."
Derek was having a serious Déjà vu moment. Hearing her say those words again twisted his stomach in knots, especially because he wasn't doing anything this time.
"What are you talking about?" Derek said angered at her behavior.
"I'm talking about you and Karen. I saw you go into her dressing room, with roses. You were in there for a while, and then you left together. I saw they way you looked at her." Ivy said pointing her finger at him and then laughing. She was clearly inebriated.
"Are you serious Ivy? Fine you want to know the truth? Here is the truth! Yes I went to the dressing room of the young woman who works for me to congratulate her on her performance. She asked to go get drinks with me. I agreed. We'd been on the outs with each others since the Daisy situation, so there was no romantic rendezvous. I apologized to her and I asked her what I should do when I keep trying to make you happy and you keep throwing her name in my face!" Derek was loosing his cool. "Guess what she didn't bash you or try to jump my bones. She told me to try harder to make a decision and provide a life for my child." Derek responded.
"Of course little Mrs. Flew off a cloud from Iowa to bring sunshine and rainbow's to Broadway didn't bash the wicked witch of the west!" Ivy said sarcastically.
"Don't talk about Karen that way Ivy. This has nothing to do with her. This is about you and me, and our unborn child; who you seem perfectly okay with hurting with booze and God knows what else." Derek growled at her.
"Don't talk about Karen? Why? Because you love her!" Ivy spat out.
"Ivy I just went on national TV and confessed my love for you….not Karen….. you! I keep telling you not to compare yourself to her. I keep telling you that you're the one I want. The one that I am with is you….yet you seem to not want me if were not entangled in a bloody soap opera love triangle."
"Just say it Derek, say it! You love Karen F-ing Cartwright! Say that you only chose me because she said no! Say it Derek! SAY IT!" Ivy started to cry.
"Fine Ivy! I love her! I love Karen Renee Cartwright more than I thought I could love anyone." Derek said yelling incredibly loud, and throwing his bag on the floor.
"Then I made the right decision." Ivy said standing up from the counter blood dripping from her legs.
"Ivy you're bleeding." Derek said, the site instantly calmed him down.
"That's what happens when you have an abortion Derek." She said cold heartedly.
"You didn't" Derek gasped. He immediately slid down the wall to the floor. He was in a ball hands in his hair pulling out of frustration. It was the only thing he could think to do. He was afraid of what he might do to Ivy if he was standing.
"I did Derek. Why should I sit around suffering as you spend all your time with Karen, wishing it was her that was pregnant, and not me? Why should I be the one to delay my career because I got knocked up? I am going to be the biggest star that Broadway has ever seen. And you'll be sorry. You'll be sorry that you choose her, the girl that was never there for you, only for her own selfish motives. You'll coming running back to me when she breaks your heart, and I'll laugh at you and turn you away. I was the one good thing you had Derek. " Ivy grabbed her bag and stormed out of Derek's place.
Derek sat there on the floor until the sun came up. He didn't move. He didn't cry. He was just numb. He didn't know what else to do. He was a bag of emotions. He wanted to scream, shout and cry all at the same time, so he did nothing. His legs tingled until they felt like hundred pound weights, and his headed pounded. But still he sat.
His elevator buzzard went off letting him now that someone was on the way up. The only people with the code were Ivy and Karen…He'd forgotten that Karen was on her way to see him. And he was a mess. But he didn't move. He couldn't.
"Derek, it's me Karen. I brought Starbucks just the way you like it." She said in her cheery tone.
Without looking at her he could tell she was smiling, and her presence gave him an instant mood boost. He knew that there was no way that he could avoid the subject with her. So he prepared himself to bare all.
"Derek. What are you doing on the floor? Did you have that scotch after all?" She asked noticing the empty bottle sitting next to him.
"No, contrary to how this appears, I am stone cold sober." He said with a small smirk. He didn't even look up at her.
"What going on Derek? Did I come at a bad time? The last time I seen you like this, you weren't doing so good." Karen recalled the weeks leading up to the Tonys. Karen chuckled as she sat down next to him. She handed him the coffee cup.
"Thanks." He looked directly at her now. His eyes were red and he was sure his hair was a mess but he didn't care. He was just happy to see her. "How are you this morning Karen? Better than me I suppose."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Karen asked in almost a whisper.
"Not yet." Derek said as he sipped his coffee. It was just the way he liked it. Decaf Pike Place Roast with a shot of vanilla.
"Well we can just sit here until you do. Because there is no way that you will get me out of here with out telling me what's going on with you, so I can fix it." She smiled.
"You can't fix this love. " He chuckled. "But I wouldn't mind not being able to get you out of my flat." Derek said raising his eyebrows.
Karen shoved him a bit and he laughed. It felt like a foreign sound leaving his body.
"Last night I got home, and Ivy was here waiting on me." Derek exhaled dreading reliving the moment. "Long story short, she accused me of having an affair with you, and being in love with you. I told her nothing was going on but she pushed and she pushed. Finally she pushed to hard and I told her some things I shouldn't have said." Derek admitted.
"I'm sorry to hear that Derek. Give her a little while to cool off. She'll come back around. I am glad to here that you made a decision. You and Ivy will be good together, and you'll be the best dad in the world." Karen smiled at him. But he could see the disappointment in her eyes.
"That's the thing. The decision that I was going to make was taken away from me. I just wanted to be a father, no relationship." Derek starred at the ground. "Ivy had an abortion late yesterday morning." Admitting that last night really happened made Derek cringe.
"Oh Derek, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. I can't believe that she would do that to you. " Karen was obviously concerned.
He could feel his self beginning to tear up, to his own surprise. "I really wanted to have a baby Karen. I was excited about it. But she killed her. She killed my little girl." Derek placed his head in his hands trying to hide from the truth. "I guess this is my Karma, from all the women I've done wrong, from all the hurt I've caused. Now I'm the one sitting here crying." Derek looked at Karen tears flowing from his eyes.
"Come here." Karen said pulling Derek's head to her lap. She rubbed her fingers through his head and sang to him.
Am I making believe I see in you a man too perfect to be really true?
Do I want you because you're wonderful,
or are you wonderful because I want you?
are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream
or are you really as wonderful as you seem?
She rotated between singing and humming the lyrics for an hour while Derek lay in her lap. He felt like mush in her arms. He was so comfortable crying there like a little boy in his mothers arms. Karen's natural tone was butter. It was different from her big performance voice. It reminded him of the beginning of don't let me know. It was so sensual, deep and soft. He could lie there forever, but that wouldn't be good for him right not. He had lots of work he needed to be doing. But none of that seemed to matter at the moment. The only thing that mattered was lying in Karen's arm.
"Karen" Derek's voice cracked.
"Hmm?" She asked still humming.
"I need you to tell me something. I need to let you know now, before it's too late." Derek said softly.
"You can tell me anything Derek? She answered.
He could feel her heart beating faster; which made him breathe faster.
"We've been friends for a long time Karen. It's the longest friendship I've had in the business. But I don't think we can be friends anymore." He paused searching for words and for courage.
"Derek I don't understand. Where is this coming from?" She said as she stopped rubbing through his hair.
He could here that she was upset. He sat up so that he could look her in the eyes. She had been crying, while she was singing to him. He could see the tear stream run down her face. He rubbed her face.
"I don't want to be just your friend Karen. We go through a constant struggle of push and pull, but we never let each other go. One moment we're best friends, and the next we're trying to forget each other. But the truth is, I am never the same without you. I would never be able to forget you. I've tried Karen, so many times. I tried with Ivy, but you were always on my mind, and in my heart. She aborted the baby because she knew that I was in love with you. I told her she was wrong Karen. But the truth is she was right. I love you. I'm in love with you." Derek said breathing labored. He was scared. Scared that while Karen cared for him, maybe she wasn't in love with him?
"Derek I'm in love with you too. I always have been. I was just scared…" She said beginning to cry.
"Shhhhhh" Derek said placing his finger on her mouth. "Here's the thing Karen. I'm scared too. Are we going to let fear stop us from leaving the lives were meant to live Karen?" Derek asked rhetorically. "My life hasn't been the same since the first time you came in for your audition, and I don't want it to go back." Derek admitted.
"Well then were do we go from here?" Karen asked.
"Upstairs." Derek said standing up. His legs were a little weak, and his head was pounding but other than that he never felt better. He grabbed Karen's hand and pulled her up. His thoughts seems incoherent, but he had a plan.
He rushed to his bedroom and told Karen to sit on the bed. He dug through the back of the closet looking for the box. He hadn't seen it in month or so, but he knew it was there. He found the large mahogany box and laid it on the bed. He slowly opened with Karen. Her pupils began to dilate as she seen the contents. It was filled with hundreds of photos and press clippings of Karen from Boston all the way through the Tony's. He had every article and every picture, some that she didn't know existed.
"What is this?" Karen asked in a fond manner.
"This is my stalking Karen Cartwright box" He joked with her. "It's a memory box. My mum used to keep them for all of her children, and when I got older I kept my own. And this one I started for you. That way we can have the memory forever." He said catching himself by surprise. He notice that it caught he rby surprise too, but she just smiled at him.
"Is this what you wanted to show me?" Karen asked going through the box.
"Yes and no." Derek said. He reached through the box until he found a small teal box from Tiffany's. Karen's brown eyes nearly popped out of her skull. "Calm down love, I'm not going to ask for you hand." He laughed.
Karen giggled and pushed Derek.
He opened the box, and in it was a yellow diamond ring in the shape of a star, encrusted with smaller diamonds.
"Oh Gods, I've never asked anyone this before" Derek paused. "Karen will you be my girlfriend?" he smiled. His stomach was in knots. He didn't understand why he was so nervous.
"This is beautiful Derek, when did you get this?" she asked confused by the timing.
"I purchased it in Boston, after your first preview. I was going to give it to you when you won the Tony for the role, but as you know so much has changed since then." Derek said pointing out the text Karen I'll Let You Be My Star.
"I don'tknow what to say." She said starring down and the ring and then back at him.
"You could say yes." He joked.
"Oh my gosh, yes! This is the sweetest thing that anybody has ever done for me."
"Well then, you better get used to it, because I have a lot more I want to do for you." Derek said half yawning.
"You need to get some sleep." Karen said standing up.
"Only if my girlfriend will stay with me." He said with a large satisfied smile on his face.
Karen crawled in the bed with him, and before he knew it, he was sleep.
Finally Got that out of the way! But what will happen next in this crazy world of Broadway?