When I woke up the next morning, my entire jaw was stiff, and once I found myself in front of the mirror in the bathroom, I was met with the most glorious bruise I had ever seen, nearly black and horrifically sensitive.
I shut and locked the bathroom door, taking a shower, careful to avoid even grazing the purple mottling on my jaw and cheek. Despite being as careful as possible, it still throbbed and ached, and the water striking it never the less couldn't have helped. At least it was scalding hot and numbed the skin for a while.
Stepping out from the shower, I got myself ready hurriedly. I ran gel through my hair quickly, having perfected that already, if due to nothing but muscle memory. The binding was also easier, and thank God I was flexible enough to pull this off. I wished that the uniforms weren't so tight fitting, but nothing had ever been easy and now wouldn't have been the time for it to start being so.
I checked my watch. Classes started in an hour. I sighed heavily, wondering if the infirmary was even open this early. As much as I tried to think that the bruise was just as innocent as it seemed, the soreness and tenderness of it worried me a little. I had gotten in more than my fair share of fights in my lifetime, losing just as many as I'd won, but I always knew when an injury was better checked. I'd never taken a hit like that to my jaw before; usually my opponents were too drunk to swing that high, but that wasn't the case yesterday.
Gary was still out cold, sprawled across the top of his bed. If I had gauged his alcohol intake correctly from last night, he'd be in for one Hell of a rude awakening. I laughed to myself and left the room, careful not to let the door slam when I exited and took a left out the building. Having memorized the map on the transport on the way I absent-mindedly headed in the direction of the medical building, to which the infirmary was attached.
Surprisingly, it was open and I walked up to the front counter, a nurse in pale blue scrub pants and a delicately decorated top smiled up at me with piercing green eyes and I smiled back, taking the clipboard and heading over to one of the chairs, not missing the way she stared at me as I fell into the chair carelessly, and with a practiced grace.
The form was the same; name, date, insurance, cause of injury. Nothing I hadn't seen too many times before, and wondered if I should write the complete truth on the form or leave the major details behind the wound out. I opted for the latter and handing the form back to the nurse, barely listening to whatever she had said, the dull ache taking precedence in my mind, but I nodded and smiled, taking my seat again, waiting to be seen.
With no one else in the entire room, I had expected this to go quicker, but I still sat there, waiting on the upside of about twenty minutes, quite impatiently, as was just my nature. After ten minutes of annoyed fidgeting, I got up, crossing the room to the nurse, chatting her up until finally, another nurse, shorter and more intense than the girl I'd had the pleasure to talk with, walked through the door to the left of the counter and led me to an examination room, eying my bruise with a sort of distaste that reminded me of my mother.
I hopped up onto the examination table, watching her walk out with a leer. She had wide hips, something I had always been jealous of. I tried to stifle a laugh when she rolled her eyes, but I didn't fight the smile.
"Doctor." Her voice was even, though with an annoyed tone that I couldn't help but be proud of. Women like her were always the most fun to flirt with; they always fought a little harder. It kept things interesting.
"I'm on my way. Hold your horses, woman." That familiar deep tone, tinged with the slightest accent brought a new smile to my face. "Holy shit, Jim. What happened?" Leonard asked when he walked into the room, setting some things down on the counter before coming up on my side, pulling a pair of gloves on and falling into the chair in front of me.
"Bar fight." I replied honestly, but Leonard looked at me with a cocked eyebrow, silently questioning my answer. "Well, I hustled a few guys. Weren't so happy about that." I indulged. The corners of Leonard's eyes crinkled as he laughed at me.
"Figured you to be the type." He commented, still smiling, as he glanced down at the form I had filled out earlier. "So what brings you here?" He asked, full in professional mode now.
"The bruise. It wasn't so bad yesterday, but it's darker today, and the whole area is tender." I explained, having had way too much practice in relating my injuries to doctors. Leonard scanned the area and took some readings, and excused himself afterwards to review them.
Sitting in the room, I reflected on the fact that the more I moved my jaw, the more it hurt, and not long after Bones left, I could taste a little blood on my tongue and I groaned. Great way to make a first impression: with a broken jaw. I couldn't think how it could be broken; I was still able to talk and move it. Maybe it wasn't so serious.
"So, it's a really small fracture, but it's there." Leonard stated as he walked back in, a needle amongst other things in his hand. I eyed the hypospray cautiously, having still a terrible aversion to the device. Leonard noticed my discomfort and laughed. "I could perform the procedure without it, but I really don't recommend it." I nodded in weak acquiescence, and he jabbed the thing into my neck before I even knew what the Hell was going on. I asked him what it was, sort of slurred and he didn't even get the chance to answer before I blacked out. I was only aware of the smile on his face before I was unconscious.
When I woke up, the edges of my vision were still a little blurry and my mind was slightly fuzzy, but the pain in my jaw was gone. I sat up, fighting the blood rush and dizzy feeling.
"Mornin' Sleeping beauty." That Southern tone mocked from somewhere to my left. I groggily looked over my shoulder at him.
"Jesus. Warn a guy next time." I commented, smiling. Leonard returned the gesture before answering.
"And take the fun out of that look on your face? Never." Leonard peeled his gloves off and tossed them in the biohazard bin before facing me again. "You'll be free to leave in a few, once I'm sure you'll be able to walk without falling over yourself."
I scoffed at his statement and he pushed my shoulder and I nearly toppled over.
"Okay. I see your point." I responded then, after having caught myself, steadying myself back on the table. Leonard checked my irises and a few other things before deeming me safe to 'let me loose on the masses,' as he put it and he walked with me though the hall. Just as I was about to leave the building, he called to me.
"Hey, next time I see ya, it better not because you got into another fight, you hear?"
"You got it." I answered, fake saluting him with two fingers. I turned and headed out, but not before sending another glance in the way of that nurse from earlier. She rolled her eyes again and I laughed and headed out toward my first class, surprised I was still on the early side.
Most of the classes passed quickly, not much being said or done. Half of them consisted of introductions to the material, the assignment lists and syllabi and such, and I fought to keep myself awake.
Sometime around midday I got a message from Gary, full of swears and other colorful language. Thankfully I had been between classes as I listened to him recount his 'morning,' all the way through from his waking up and finding out he had missed three classes to the point where, scrambling, he tripped over the stuff he hadn't put away, nearly cracking his head on his dresser. By the end of his rant, I could barely breathe and he started cursing at me for laughing, but I couldn't help it. I shut the link after a few more minutes, making sure that Gary would be okay. I told him if he felt light-headed to head to the infirmary, and to head to the commissary and mix some limejuice and sugar in water and that would probably help with the hangover. He didn't really think it would work, but I couldn't help the smug feeling and smile that crept across my face when he messaged me back about a half an hour later to begrudgingly thank me for the advice, but not before commenting that I've probably had more than enough experience in dealing with hangovers to know what did and didn't work. I didn't argue.
I walked slowly to my last class. The chronometer read three fifty eight and I had exactly two minutes to get to the right building, the right room and find a seat. I really couldn't care, so I continued along leisurely. That nurse I had flirted with this morning spotted me and we talked for a bit, and I ended up getting her number. She was a cute girl, but her name was too mature for her; she didn't look like Bethany. When I asked her about the other nurse, her face fell slightly, but she forced up a smile.
"Who? Christine? She can be a little rough, but she's a nice girl." Beth looked down at her shoes before meeting my gaze again. "She's just really into her work. She takes it too seriously sometimes." Beth shut her mouth then, her lips tightening into a straight line. I knew she felt a little scorned. I figured I had nothing to lose and walked her to her class, which seemed to brighten her face a little.
By the time I actually got to the right building I was ten minutes late. I sauntered in, still not even caring that I was late. I had misjudged this class however, as more than eighty percent of the students inside the large lecture hall were scrambling to jot down everything that was being said. The professor's voice rang through the hall with an amazing clarity, loud, deep and commanding. If I could admit it to myself, it was damn sexy, but I couldn't admit that and I took a seat in the back, dropping into the chair heavily, listening intently though I really didn't really invest too much attention.
The student next to me just glared at me. It made me feel out of place in that room. That very look is the same one I've been living with for years.
'You don't belong here.' That look of scorn that only made it obvious that I didn't really fit in anywhere. That angry look. It pierced me. He couldn't know that I didn't need to take notes to remember this. I had a fantastic memory. Hell, I was a genius. I've been tested. It's a fact. But he couldn't know that, and he just looked at me like you would look at a prostitute on the side of the road, a beggar on a street corner, that lonely man in the bar far too drunk too care he was crying too loud. Like how you would look at that man in the universe who had thrown away everything because responsibility and effort and meaning had no reign on his life. Someone like me.
I knew I couldn't fit in, but I had hoped it would have at least taken longer than the first day for everyone to realize that was true. I had come here expecting everything to be different. I shouldn't have let myself hope that.
I looked away from him, turning to face the front of the hall, trying to focus on what was being said, but I couldn't hear anything but that tortured voice inside of me that just always ripped me to shreds, that voice that made me feel so useless and unworthy, an amalgam of every police officer, doctor, teacher, principal and neighbor that swore me off as a waste of my mother's time and money. All I could see were all the faces of everyone I've ever known, all the same expression; a mix of embarrassment, shame, anger, hurt. They always ended up the same.
"Is that him?" Came the whisper from somewhere to my right.
"Yeah. At least, I'm almost one hundred percent sure."
I tried to tune out the girls' insipid gossip, one thing, even as a woman, I could not understand the need to spread meaningless rumors and half-truths. It probably didn't help that when I was in high school, I was at the brunt of most of the rumors, what with my propensity for fighting and drinking and my rather 'loose' restrictions on sex. What they didn't know what that I barely slept with half the people I was claimed to have done it with, and the one rumor about how I begged the football captain to sleep with my always hurt, because not only was it a lie, but he raped me not long after that rumor started.
I had spend nearly all the money I had saved up since I was eleven to pay for the medication to prevent a pregnancy. I never told my mother what had happened.
I had to force myself to concentrate again, successfully fighting back the shiver that ran along my spine and the tears from welling up.
Trying to actually pay attention to this class was a moot point by now and I stood up, heading towards the door, trying not to think about the slight pause in the lecturer's voice at my departure. I know it's rude, and I didn't really make an effort to be quiet, but I couldn't sit in here anymore. I had the text back at the room. Reading through it would be sufficient, much more so than just wasting my time in here.
Instead of heading back to the dorms, I made a direct course to the infirmary, catching Leonard on his way out.
"Hey Bones." I called, jogging up to him. He turned to me and laughed, his eyebrows knitting in confusion while his eyes glittered with amusement. I realized what I had called him, but didn't want to take it back. I liked the way it sounded. He stopped in his tracks, and I slowed down and met with him.
"How was the first day?" He asked as we walked side by side.
"Could have been worse." Bones, I really liked that, laughed at the comment.
"So what happened?"
"I ended up being late to my last class." I caught his gaze and smiled. "I got caught up by Beth." I said, elbowing him. He eyed me.
"She never even says a word to me." Leonard exclaimed, laughing. "But that Christine, she's a hard worker. Smart girl."
"Ironic. Because Christine won't even look at me." I said with amusement. Bones just shook his head.
"Where are you headed?"
"Nowhere." I replied, shrugging my shoulders.
"Well then, let's go get something to eat." Leonard offered and I followed along willingly, glad to have the company of someone who hasn't yet seen the mess I am.
I ended up picking absently at my food for five minutes before Leonard said something.
"You concerned about something?" He inquired, a little concern in his tone.
"No. I'm fine. Just thinking." I didn't really want to explain the way that kid's look wrenched me, how inane gossip nearly resurfaced my worst memory. I sighed a little and picked at the lettuce again before falling back in my seat, uninterested.
"Sure." Bones said incredulously. He might be just as stubborn to get the truth out of me as I was to hold it in. The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted, maybe even needed, to spend with him. He was some sort of anchor for me, an outlet. I really wanted to be able to trust him and be able to tell him everything. But I couldn't. At least, not yet.
"It's just been a long day." I said cautiously, slowly, not wanting to let any emotion leak into my voice. Bones studied me for a bit, but relented. I silently thanked him for it.
"So what class did were you late for?"
"Some linguistics class." I said, honest to God, not really remembering. I couldn't think about the class without everything else coming up, so I tamped down what I allowed myself to recall. "I ended up walking out early too."
Leonard nearly spit his food out then, his eyes wide.
"Who was the professor?" He asked pointedly, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.
"I don't know, why?" I shot back, curious as to the intensity to which he was responding to my actions regarding that class in particular.
"If you walked out on the guy I think you did, you've got some balls, kid." Leonard replied before going back to eating. I pulled out a P.A.D.D. and searched around the network for my schedule.
"Spock?" I inquired looking up to see Leonard drop his fork.
"You are not going to make it through that class now."
"I think I can make it." I quipped, a wide grin on my face. "There's no such thing as a no-win scenario." I pointed out, and Bones' just shook his head, laughing.