847 Days Earlier

It had snuck up on Adeline. Although she was cognizant of the rapidly changing weather—in fact, they had already had their first small snowstorm—she hadn't been aware of how close they were to the day she dreaded terribly. And it was here.

His birthday.

Even merely acknowledging those words caused her heart to clench painfully. She tried to remind herself of a little mantra she had made for herself.

The heart is a muscle the size of my fist. And like any muscle, I am in control of it.

It didn't do much. She didn't expect it to. Nevertheless, it was a nice reminder for herself—reminded her of how resilient she was. It could have been so easy, to succumb to her seemingly never-ending sadness. But after a few weeks of feeling like that after the disastrous mission, she had decided that she couldn't change the past. No one could. And thus, she worked on finding the little things in her life, although much had been ripped away, that would bring her joy. And before she knew it, there was more joy than sadness.

That didn't mean she still didn't cry herself to sleep at night, overwhelmed by everything, or that she no longer experienced bouts of lividity that scared even herself, or that the nightmares were completely gone. It didn't mean any of those things. But it did mean that she was on the path of healing, a path that she was still working towards, every single day.

No matter how well she had been doing in the days prior to this horrible reminder of an event that could no longer be celebrated, his birthday seemed to slap her across the face every year. And with it, terrible and wonderful memories of him.

She was tempting fate, but she had to say it out loud. It made it sincerer and all the more real. "Happy birthday, Alaric." She shut her eyes after listening to her own voice fall into the empty room. It shouldn't have been an empty room. And it wasn't fair. Adeline decided to allow those thoughts, if only for a moment. But she would not allow herself to surrender to her own grief. The whole day was ahead of her, and then tomorrow, it would be another day.

Adeline easily remembered the birthdays she had managed to spend with him. The first one, where she had pretended to be sick so that she and him could spend the entire day in bed, laughter and passions exchanged. Or the second birthday they celebrated together, when there had been a huge snowstorm and the entire Corps had been given the day off. They had spent it together, playing in the snow like children, forgetting the terrible things that awaited them outside the walls. And finally, the last birthday she would spend with him—though she didn't know it or imagine it at the time—when she had convinced the practically newly minted Commander Erwin, on the job for less than three months, to give her the day off. And after he had agreed, she had informed him that he needed to officiate their nuptials, since he was the Commander, after all. He had been surprised, but had agreed nevertheless.

Suddenly, Adeline felt the hot tears escape and hit her cheeks. This signaled it was enough reminiscing. She wiped her face and took a deep breath. Before she could let any terribly wonderful memories encapsulate her, she decided there was plenty to do today and she could do something about it. She forced herself out of bed before her own mind started wandering again, into the dark crevices of her mind. She stretched, bending down to touch her toes before readjusting herself to be upright. She moved, slightly left and then sharply right, hearing the bones on her right-side snap and pop in a way that sounded excruciating but felt wonderful. She repeated the motion to do the same for her left side, and then strolled over to the window.

She had heard from some of the other recruits that she was lucky to have a window—some of the newer recruits were also forced to share rooms due to the lack of space. Surely, her own room had been Erwin's doing. Perhaps it was a strange sort of soft spot for her, or maybe it was because Alaric had been Erwin's right hand man before his . . . well, just before. Sometimes she still found it difficult to let that word even in her mind.

Death.

As difficult as it could be to admit, death was awaiting them all. And even though the new recruits sometimes begrudged that Adeline had a private room, once missions started, there would be more room, but not for any reason that was worth celebrating. She pulled the curtains open and felt simultaneously excited and somewhat broken.

It must have snowed the entire night. Right now, the outside world looked pristine and undisturbed. If she allowed herself, Adeline could almost imagine a world where there were no titans. While the possibilities of running through the snow and getting soaked through was exciting, Adeline had also been secretly wishing for a dreary, grey day to chime in another year without Alaric.

But she didn't get that. Instead, the sun was shining outside, in the deceiving way that it does after a large snowstorm. It was beckoning Adeline to go outside, without a coat, but she had learned long ago that these ordinary temptations were just that—surely the frozen air would nip at her skin, verging on pain. Pain that might make her feel better . . . but ultimately, she decided against it. Judging from where the sun was, it was already past midday. Why hadn't anyone awoken her?

The snow was practically blinding, so she turned away. Adeline started getting dressed, knowing that without word, there was still training to be had. She was hoping, to a certain extent, that they could have the day off. So she could mull with her tumultuous emotions. Then, almost as if her wishes had been granted, there was a soft knock on the door.

Half-dressed, but decent, Adeline popped open the door. Standing there was Squad Leader Hange.

"Good morning." She said, a small smile on her face. "Per the Commander, we all have the day off because of the weather. In case you didn't know that already, since it is already afternoon. Captain Levi sent me to let you know, since you are under his leadership." The news about it already being afternoon surprised her—she hadn't realized she had slept so late. But beyond that piece of news, Adeline resisted the urge to roll her eyes. A Captain who couldn't face his own cohorts? How could he expect them to trust each other beyond the walls?

She bit her tongue though and kept those questions to herself. Adeline suddenly realized that Hange was still talking. ". . . he didn't tell me much about what happened, but he wanted me to give you this." Hange said, as she presented a bottle.

Confused, Adeline grabbed it and took a closer look. Alcohol. And not the homemade kind either. She didn't say anything, so Hange continued. "And I don't know what kind of past you and the Commander have, but if you want to talk or—"

"Thank you." Adeline interrupted. "But it's not that kind of past." She realized what Hange was insinuating. A romantic past. With Erwin.

Nope. "Maybe one day, I can talk about it. Or you can read my files." Adeline shrugged.

"Actually, I don't know anything. I read your file. It doesn't have anything about anything. Just a few of your records, and physical information—height, weight. But no photo. And, come to think of it, I don't know where exactly your file is . . ."

This surprised Adeline. She was sure that everyone would have known by now. But Erwin had once more done something for her, without truly needing to. Perhaps it was as much to avoid questions towards him as it was to protect her from curious questions and untowardness.

"Please extend my gratitude towards Er—the Commander." Adeline corrected herself.

Hange nodded, and turned, clearly sensing their conversation was over, and walked away. Closing the door, Adeline inspected the bottle closer. The amber colored liquid has beckoning her, but she knew better than to drink when she was feeling like this—melancholy and confused. She didn't need to add booze—knowing that it would only make it worse.

Instead, she removed the clothing she had put on and decided that today would be the kind of day where she could brood all she desired. She walked to the window and closed the curtains, eliminating the jovial sunlight from her room.

Mulling over her decision not to drink quite yet, Adeline popped open the bottle and took a swig. The first gulp went down her throat, burning its way down. But the subsequent gulps, the second one—which turned to four—went down easier and easier, and succeeded in warming her body. She crawled back into bed and covering herself in layers, she succumbed to sleep—hoping that the nightmares wouldn't haunt her too much.

When Adeline awoke, she felt surprisingly well rested. It wasn't until she physically stood and felt the room spin that she realized it—albeit in the recesses of her rational mind—she was drunk.

Drunk Adeline didn't tend to make good decisions. That's why when she found the bottle, already half empty, she opened it again and took another large gulp. It was dark out and the warmth in her body was back. Instead of saving the rest of the alcohol for a rainy day, drunk Adeline decided that alcohol wasted was a shame. So instead, she tipped the bottle back into her mouth and took another gulp, somewhat unceremoniously.

Her stomach growled, and Adeline realized why she had awoken – she was hungry. Despite her normally better intuitions, Adeline got up, pulled clothing on haphazardly and decided to look for food. Before leaving, however, she grabbed the bottle, deciding that maybe there was more alcohol where this had come from.

She didn't realize how late it was until she made it halfway down the hallway and realized that the entire castle was shockingly quiet. Perhaps she would make it less of a drunken habit to be up at this hour. She took the last swig of the bottle, and made it a secondary mission to definitely find more alcohol.

However, despite this excellent idea, Adeline then realized why it was a terrible idea to be drunk throughout the halls of the castle when the world started spinning around her. Inadvertently, and painfully, she hit the ground with a loud groan.

It wasn't actually that loud, but it was right outside of Levi's door, unbeknownst to Adeline. As she tried to stand up, but only succeeded in half-crawling before looking up and meeting Levi's disapproving stare, she was surprised.

He had heard the crash, the sound of a bottle hitting the ground, and a grunt of pain. When he had opened the door, he expected one of the new recruits to be drunk, but instead, to his surprise, was Walsh.

Idiot. He thought, as he walked over to her and tried to figure out what she was trying to do—besides attempting to slice herself on broken glass multiple times.

"Walsh. What the fuck do you think you're doing at this hour?"

"I'm . . . I'm . . ." Adeline tried to come up with a good excuse, but could find none. So she admitted the truth. "I'm hungry." She was trying to disguise the slur in her voice, but Levi heard it clearly. The way she had elongated the 'm' sound in the word 'I'm' multiple times.

Levi sighed, frustrated. Fortunately, he was the kind of man who liked to drink—and sometimes drank too much, ending in the kind of accident Adeline was in now. That's why he kept a small amount of cleaning supplies in his room. "Don't move."

Generally, Levi would have ignored anyone like this. But Adeline wasn't just anyone. She had piqued his interest. And that's why her file was currently underneath several piles of paperwork on his desk. He had been digging—wanting to know more about the haunting creature that was currently leaning against the stone walls of their safe haven.

Levi was surprised that Adeline had listened – she tended to be defiant in training, leading to her running any laps at his discretion. But she had never whined about the punishment he doled out. Some part of Levi wondered if she enjoyed the physical pain—almost as if she was trying to put herself through some kind of punishment.

He cleaned up the mess she left behind, picking up the glass. Luckily, there wasn't much liquid to clean up—it seemed that Adeline had mostly left the bottle empty. Which would explain why she was sitting, one leg outstretched and the other bent up at the knee. Her head was leaning on her knee, in a position that did not look comfortable, but clearly, she seemed to be just fine. Her eyes were closed and Levi cursed her. Was he going to have to drag her body back to her room?

Her eyes were still closed, and although Levi would not admit it to anyone anytime soon, she was far more endearing like this, without the usual frown on her face. He thought she was asleep, which why he was surprised when she spoke. "Stop staring at me."

"After I cleaned up your damn mess, I can do what I want. And I wasn't staring at you."

Again, not that he would admit to anything, but Levi had dug to find out what Adeline's past looked like. And what little he had found pointed to something that looked too much like a painful childhood. Perhaps that's why he found her particularly interesting.

Adeline popped open one eye—the blue one—and looked at Levi. "Thank you." Levi was tempted to leave her there, but decided against it. So he looped one arm around her waist and lifted her. If questioned, Levi would never admit to the fact that he let his hand roam dangerously close to her hip, under the pretense of stabilizing her. Plus, it helped that he didn't realize he was doing it until he subconsciously spread his fingers and became cognizant of what he was supposed to be doing. And that was dragging her ass back into her room, despite her hunger.

He hadn't even acknowledged her gratitude. He was still annoyed that she had pulled him away from the pile of work he had been making progress on.

He didn't know which rooms soldiers were assigned. So he asked, "Which room is yours?"

Her eyes were still closed and her body seemed to be growing limper. However, she pursed her lips and then responded. "Third—no, fourth door on the left. Wait, sorry, right . . . fourth door on the right." This time, he couldn't resist but roll his eyes. He remembered exactly why he didn't particularly like dealing with drunken tomfoolery.

Levi thought that he could leave her at her door and go back to work, but when he did so, she swayed and started to crumble into a heap on the floor. So he grabbed her quickly again, and rolled his eyes.

What a waste of my time. Levi thought, using his other hand to open the door to her bedroom. Not that Levi had a particularly strong moral compass, but some part of him did feel like he was invading her personal space. Then again, it was her late-night foolishness that had put them into this situation.

He led her towards the bed, thinking he could deposit her there quickly and then leave. However, she shocked him by moving fast and slinging her arms around his neck.

". . . thank . . ." The word tumbled from her lips before they met his. For a fleeting moment, Levi inadvertently closed his own eyes and reveled in the feeling of her lips against his. She was warm, almost verging on too warm for his tastes, but he snapped back to reality when he tasted the booze on her lips.

He pulled away from her and pushed her down to sit on the bed. "Go to sleep. That's an order."

She nodded, eyes still closed and appearing sleepy. "Thanks, Alaric," she whispered, kicking off her boots and slipping underneath her blankets.

A clue, Levi realized as he processed what had just happened. The name was interesting enough that perhaps Levi could dig more into Adeline's past. She was an enigma that he was determined to solve.

As he walked back to his room, Levi realized how fast his heart was beating. Her kiss had been unexpected and unprecedented. But it had made him feel something that he wasn't quite ready to delve into. So instead, he sat back down at his desk and started working through the piles of paperwork that eagerly awaited him.

A/N: Hello everyone! The muse finally cooperated and pushed this story into romance! As one (anonymous) reviewer put it, the romance in the romance story has arrived! Yes, this is still going to be a bit of a slow burn, and maybe this is tooting my own horn, but I kinda like the idea of Levi feeling gooey stuff instead of the O/C. Not that Adeline won't get there, but I like defiant her. What do you guys think? Will she wake up remembering this encounter of her own doing? Will she pretend it never happened? Think it's a dream? Really, it's up to the muse.

Thank you to all of those of you who have followed and faved for taking the time to do. But it's time for my pitch again! Pretty, pretty please think about leaving a quick review - anything at all that encourages my writing-even if it's constructive criticism or suggestions! And for those of you who are already doing so, a MILLION thank yous are bestowed upon you all!

Thanks! :)