Chapter 4
What a gorgeous day.
Lily skipped along the path. She did cartwheels and all sorts of things. She was filled to the brim with bliss from the past few days' occurrences.
Maybe I should go see Hagrid. I haven't visited him in such a long time.
She had met Hagrid one day when she was running from Sirius. He had been throwing water balloons at her, and she was soaked from head to toe. When he had first started, he had been several floors above her (she being on the stairs), and many of them had pelted her delicate face and had left small cuts across it. Sirius, of course did not know this. She had run off with him chasing after her.
He probably wouldn't have stopped anyway.
Of course, Hagrid being Hagrid, he invited her in and healed her cuts with some herbs of his. She tried to visit him every now and then. He was actually a pretty nice guy.
His hut came into view, and she saw him standing not far from it, gazing intently into the Forbidden Forest. She slowly crept up behind him.
"HAGRID!!!" She screeched.
He jumped, and it shook the ground so much that Lily fell on her butt. She was laughing terribly hard.
"Lily!" What'd yer go an' do that fer??" His hand went to his chest and he tried to get his breathing even. He looked so much like her mother when he did that, it made her laugh even harder. He gave her a disapproving look.
"I'm sorry, Hagrid. Really, I mean it. I didn't think I could frighten you that much." She said it sincerely enough, but Hagrid could still see her eyes twinkling in good humor. He smiled.
"Yer a sweet girl. Yer goin' ter become a fine woman, you are. D'ya want ter know how I know that, Lily?" He had his hands behind his back and he was rocking on his feet. Heel to toe, heel to toe, heel to toe.
"How do you know, Hagrid?"
"Yer eyes." She waited for him to go on, but he stood there as if that explained anything and everything.
"What about my eyes?" She inquired cautiously.
"Lily, haven't you ever heard that the eyes are the key to ones soul?" He asked.
"Well… yes. I think I heard my mum say something similar to that once. It scared me something terrible. I wouldn't look anyone in the face for weeks, because I was afraid to let them see my soul." She laughed. "I was only about four or five then." Lily squinted her eyes and looked of into space, as she often did when she was trying to remember something clearly.
"Yer eyes remind me of Dumbledore's. Not the color or anythin' but the look of 'em. Ya know? Through yer eyes, Lily, anyone could see how yer feelin'. It's as plain as day. Even now, when yer tryin' yer very hardest to be sincere, I could still hear your laughter just as loud through yer eyes." He smiled down at her and patted her gently on the head. What a sweet little thing she is. Lily blushed. She really had meant what she said, even if she still thought it was kind of funny.
"I really am sorry, though, Hagrid. I know what it's like to be made fun of all the time. I wasn't trying to be mean." She whispered quietly.
"Oh, don' worry yerself. I know that we're friends. Friendly jokes is a lotta fun. It's those mean ones that we gotta look out for."
"Friendly jokes?" What on earth is a friendly joke?
"You know Lily.." He paused. How to explain this to an eleven year old who probably has the intelligence of a 15 year old? "Jokes between friends. They're given and taken lightly… No harm or offense is intended… just preformed so that even if it might not be funny to the person that the joke was played on now, they'll all be able to laugh about it later. Infact, many a kid like to play jokes on one another to break the ice. So that it's easier to talk to someone."
"By turning their hair green?!?" Lily asked incredulously. Through all Hagrid had been saying she had been thinking of the Marauders. Hagrid could tell now that she had experienced this herself, and that they were now entering personal territory. He knew he might want to watch what he was saying, so as not to give her the wrong idea, and to help her out some.
"Well…" Hagrid said slowly; thoughtfully. "Yes. I guess that could work."
Lily felt suddenly utterly baffled. She was confused; vulnerable. Had she been pushing away
potential friends her entire life? No.. she thought. Elementary school were mean jokes. Jokes to
make her feel bad. But what about now? What about what James had tried to tell her the other night when she let her emotions show and lost control? Were their jokes meant to hurt her? Or reach out to her?
Hagrid watched as she played with this new idea in her head. He couldn't tell exactly what she was thinking, but her reaction to each thought crossed her face. Mostly it was vulnerablness. Total confusion and a look that just made you want to pick her up and hold her tightly. Her watched her, torn between being interested and concerned. Her eyes squinted and unfocused.
Remember, Lily! Look at their faces!
In Lily's mind she saw flashbacks from her childhood. Horrible scenes, all filled with her being ridiculed and humiliated. She wanted to cry so badly. Then came a fresh wave. Three expectant faces, waiting eagerly to see how she would take each prank. Good thing I have a photographic memory. She thought. In her mind's eye she compared James' face after one of his all-to- familiar pranks, to one of a boy from her old school named Bobby. Bobby's face was sneering; leering. James' face, on the other hand, was boyish; silly; expectant.
Oh, Lord. What have I been doing? How could I have not spotted this? But really and truly, who could blame poor Lily? She had grown used to the taunting of her peers. How was she to know that these three boys would be any different from Bobby? I'm such a fool.
Hagrid saw a guilty, self-criticizing look come across her face. He knew. She must've taken a darned friendly joke for a mean prank. Poor girl.
"Hagrid?" She asked, still feeling totally senseless.
"Yes, Lily?"
"How do I fix this?"
Hagrid thought for a few moments. A bright idea came to his mind.
"Lily. Put into yer mind whatever I tell ye. Got that?"
"Yes, Hagrid." Lily made her mind as blank as it could possibly be so that she could imagine whatever idea Hagrid had cooked up.
"Start over."
"Okay…"
"Now yer see 'em… and what does ye think THEY would do ter 'emselves if they were in yer position?"
Huh? What?
"Pardon?"
"Pretend to be them. They see someone they want to be friendly with…" he trailed off.
"You mean prank them?" Lily said brightening up. Could that work?
"Prank 'em." Lily beamed.
"Thank you, Hagrid." She ran closer to him and hugged as best as she could.
"Go on now, little Lily." She smiled and ran off toward the castle.
Just as she was climbing the steps, Hagrid called out to her.
"Oh yeah, and Lily?!?" She turned around. "Make it a good one, huh?" She waved enthusiastically and entered the castle. She decided to avoid the Marauders until after she had played her prank of amends. She headed off toward the library. She was positively sure she could find something in one of those books that would make them laugh.
Just as she was about to walk into the library, Severus came walking out of it. He looked troubled and worried. He was so busy with his thoughts, that he almost walked right past her.
"Are you alright, Severus?" Relief noticeably flooded over his face.
"Lily! I've been looking around for you."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was talking with Hagrid."
"Hagrid?"
"You know, the game keeper?"
"Whatever for, Lily?"
"He's terribly nice to me, and he gives marvelous advice."
"Ok… alright, uh… Lily.. are you okay? Last night, I was uh… well worried. I could kill Potter if-"
"Severus, it really wasn't his fault." Lily cut him off. She spoke quickly because she was still embarrassed about the way she had acted in front of everybody the previous night. "I was extremely tired and oh so confused and I- well, James just happened to say something that triggered tears. I'm really dreadfully sorry that I've caused you to worry. But.. I'm fine… really." She was blushing crimson.
"It's alright, Lily. You needn't defend Potter. I won't hurt him….. too badly." He was grinning. Lily playful put on an offended face. He laughed. She smiled.
"Do you want to play a game with me?" she asked very suddenly.
"Sure, okay." She tagged him and sped off, and at the end of the hallway she turned and called, "You're It!"
She led him all the lake where, unbeknownst to her, the Marauders were having an official meeting. They sat on a rock that gave them a perfect view of the entire lake and it's surroundings. They were discussing how exactly to apologize to Lily, seeing as none of them besides Remus had ever given a true apology, when they heard loud giggles between sharp intakes of air. They turned and saw Lily running toward the lake, glance over her shoulder and squeal. She was running from someone, and they were gaining on her.
"I know that's Lily… but… who's that guy?" James asked squinting in the sunlight.
"Dear Lord." Breathed Sirius. "That'd be Snape."
What a gorgeous day.
Lily skipped along the path. She did cartwheels and all sorts of things. She was filled to the brim with bliss from the past few days' occurrences.
Maybe I should go see Hagrid. I haven't visited him in such a long time.
She had met Hagrid one day when she was running from Sirius. He had been throwing water balloons at her, and she was soaked from head to toe. When he had first started, he had been several floors above her (she being on the stairs), and many of them had pelted her delicate face and had left small cuts across it. Sirius, of course did not know this. She had run off with him chasing after her.
He probably wouldn't have stopped anyway.
Of course, Hagrid being Hagrid, he invited her in and healed her cuts with some herbs of his. She tried to visit him every now and then. He was actually a pretty nice guy.
His hut came into view, and she saw him standing not far from it, gazing intently into the Forbidden Forest. She slowly crept up behind him.
"HAGRID!!!" She screeched.
He jumped, and it shook the ground so much that Lily fell on her butt. She was laughing terribly hard.
"Lily!" What'd yer go an' do that fer??" His hand went to his chest and he tried to get his breathing even. He looked so much like her mother when he did that, it made her laugh even harder. He gave her a disapproving look.
"I'm sorry, Hagrid. Really, I mean it. I didn't think I could frighten you that much." She said it sincerely enough, but Hagrid could still see her eyes twinkling in good humor. He smiled.
"Yer a sweet girl. Yer goin' ter become a fine woman, you are. D'ya want ter know how I know that, Lily?" He had his hands behind his back and he was rocking on his feet. Heel to toe, heel to toe, heel to toe.
"How do you know, Hagrid?"
"Yer eyes." She waited for him to go on, but he stood there as if that explained anything and everything.
"What about my eyes?" She inquired cautiously.
"Lily, haven't you ever heard that the eyes are the key to ones soul?" He asked.
"Well… yes. I think I heard my mum say something similar to that once. It scared me something terrible. I wouldn't look anyone in the face for weeks, because I was afraid to let them see my soul." She laughed. "I was only about four or five then." Lily squinted her eyes and looked of into space, as she often did when she was trying to remember something clearly.
"Yer eyes remind me of Dumbledore's. Not the color or anythin' but the look of 'em. Ya know? Through yer eyes, Lily, anyone could see how yer feelin'. It's as plain as day. Even now, when yer tryin' yer very hardest to be sincere, I could still hear your laughter just as loud through yer eyes." He smiled down at her and patted her gently on the head. What a sweet little thing she is. Lily blushed. She really had meant what she said, even if she still thought it was kind of funny.
"I really am sorry, though, Hagrid. I know what it's like to be made fun of all the time. I wasn't trying to be mean." She whispered quietly.
"Oh, don' worry yerself. I know that we're friends. Friendly jokes is a lotta fun. It's those mean ones that we gotta look out for."
"Friendly jokes?" What on earth is a friendly joke?
"You know Lily.." He paused. How to explain this to an eleven year old who probably has the intelligence of a 15 year old? "Jokes between friends. They're given and taken lightly… No harm or offense is intended… just preformed so that even if it might not be funny to the person that the joke was played on now, they'll all be able to laugh about it later. Infact, many a kid like to play jokes on one another to break the ice. So that it's easier to talk to someone."
"By turning their hair green?!?" Lily asked incredulously. Through all Hagrid had been saying she had been thinking of the Marauders. Hagrid could tell now that she had experienced this herself, and that they were now entering personal territory. He knew he might want to watch what he was saying, so as not to give her the wrong idea, and to help her out some.
"Well…" Hagrid said slowly; thoughtfully. "Yes. I guess that could work."
Lily felt suddenly utterly baffled. She was confused; vulnerable. Had she been pushing away
potential friends her entire life? No.. she thought. Elementary school were mean jokes. Jokes to
make her feel bad. But what about now? What about what James had tried to tell her the other night when she let her emotions show and lost control? Were their jokes meant to hurt her? Or reach out to her?
Hagrid watched as she played with this new idea in her head. He couldn't tell exactly what she was thinking, but her reaction to each thought crossed her face. Mostly it was vulnerablness. Total confusion and a look that just made you want to pick her up and hold her tightly. Her watched her, torn between being interested and concerned. Her eyes squinted and unfocused.
Remember, Lily! Look at their faces!
In Lily's mind she saw flashbacks from her childhood. Horrible scenes, all filled with her being ridiculed and humiliated. She wanted to cry so badly. Then came a fresh wave. Three expectant faces, waiting eagerly to see how she would take each prank. Good thing I have a photographic memory. She thought. In her mind's eye she compared James' face after one of his all-to- familiar pranks, to one of a boy from her old school named Bobby. Bobby's face was sneering; leering. James' face, on the other hand, was boyish; silly; expectant.
Oh, Lord. What have I been doing? How could I have not spotted this? But really and truly, who could blame poor Lily? She had grown used to the taunting of her peers. How was she to know that these three boys would be any different from Bobby? I'm such a fool.
Hagrid saw a guilty, self-criticizing look come across her face. He knew. She must've taken a darned friendly joke for a mean prank. Poor girl.
"Hagrid?" She asked, still feeling totally senseless.
"Yes, Lily?"
"How do I fix this?"
Hagrid thought for a few moments. A bright idea came to his mind.
"Lily. Put into yer mind whatever I tell ye. Got that?"
"Yes, Hagrid." Lily made her mind as blank as it could possibly be so that she could imagine whatever idea Hagrid had cooked up.
"Start over."
"Okay…"
"Now yer see 'em… and what does ye think THEY would do ter 'emselves if they were in yer position?"
Huh? What?
"Pardon?"
"Pretend to be them. They see someone they want to be friendly with…" he trailed off.
"You mean prank them?" Lily said brightening up. Could that work?
"Prank 'em." Lily beamed.
"Thank you, Hagrid." She ran closer to him and hugged as best as she could.
"Go on now, little Lily." She smiled and ran off toward the castle.
Just as she was climbing the steps, Hagrid called out to her.
"Oh yeah, and Lily?!?" She turned around. "Make it a good one, huh?" She waved enthusiastically and entered the castle. She decided to avoid the Marauders until after she had played her prank of amends. She headed off toward the library. She was positively sure she could find something in one of those books that would make them laugh.
Just as she was about to walk into the library, Severus came walking out of it. He looked troubled and worried. He was so busy with his thoughts, that he almost walked right past her.
"Are you alright, Severus?" Relief noticeably flooded over his face.
"Lily! I've been looking around for you."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was talking with Hagrid."
"Hagrid?"
"You know, the game keeper?"
"Whatever for, Lily?"
"He's terribly nice to me, and he gives marvelous advice."
"Ok… alright, uh… Lily.. are you okay? Last night, I was uh… well worried. I could kill Potter if-"
"Severus, it really wasn't his fault." Lily cut him off. She spoke quickly because she was still embarrassed about the way she had acted in front of everybody the previous night. "I was extremely tired and oh so confused and I- well, James just happened to say something that triggered tears. I'm really dreadfully sorry that I've caused you to worry. But.. I'm fine… really." She was blushing crimson.
"It's alright, Lily. You needn't defend Potter. I won't hurt him….. too badly." He was grinning. Lily playful put on an offended face. He laughed. She smiled.
"Do you want to play a game with me?" she asked very suddenly.
"Sure, okay." She tagged him and sped off, and at the end of the hallway she turned and called, "You're It!"
She led him all the lake where, unbeknownst to her, the Marauders were having an official meeting. They sat on a rock that gave them a perfect view of the entire lake and it's surroundings. They were discussing how exactly to apologize to Lily, seeing as none of them besides Remus had ever given a true apology, when they heard loud giggles between sharp intakes of air. They turned and saw Lily running toward the lake, glance over her shoulder and squeal. She was running from someone, and they were gaining on her.
"I know that's Lily… but… who's that guy?" James asked squinting in the sunlight.
"Dear Lord." Breathed Sirius. "That'd be Snape."