Somewhere Out There

Chapter Four - A Backstage Conversation

by Taygeta

Author's Note: Thanks for all the great feedback and support so far! This one has a little more Auslly.

Disclaimer: Austin & Ally are not my creative property.

I was somewhere backstage still. Sitting on some boxes, near the recyclables. I had been there awhile, absorbing everything that had just happened. I wasn't even quite sure how I had made it past the screaming fans waiting by the dressing room. I was thinking to myself that I should probably write some thank you notes to the security guards when I heard some footsteps walking toward me.

I looked up, thinking it was probably Rick.

But, of course not, it was Austin.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Then paused, "How are you even intact? I'm surprised your fans didn't pull you apart when you walked by."

He shrugged, "I signed some autographs. Told them I'd be back. They were cool with it."

I raised my eyebrows as he leaned against a cardboard box near me, still in his shiny track jacket that he wore to close out his last number by the piano.

He revised, "Okay, fine, not exactly cool with it, but what were they going to say?" He tugged at his ear, "It's a good thing tonight was the last night of the tour, it's going to take me awhile to recover hearing in this ear."

I took a deep breath, "You still didn't answer my question. What are you doing here...?"

"I came to say I'm sorry. Look - I wasn't going to put that music on the album unless you said yes. It's just the press must have gotten leaked about the last few songs and I - I don't know. I just didn't have time to figure out how to even bring it up."

Austin's words made my heart hurt a little less, but it still hurt.

"Austin, as much as I could probably use the money, I don't know how you could think that I could let those songs go? Your career's hardly on the line - I don't need to try and get you back onto Starr Records or something," I reminded him and then laughed, "God, that was a long time ago."

He nodded, "Yeah...it was. Like ten years ago...which is why I wanted to make this album so special." He stepped closer to me and sat down, "Ally, I wasn't just going to ask if it was okay to use those songs. I know you better than that."

"Really?" I asked. "Because that's what it sounded like to me."

"What I want - " he said slowly, looking at me for a second longer than I was anticipating. When I was beginning to get a little nervous, realizing how close he was next to me, he continued, "What I was going to ask - you - is if you could sing them with me."

It was my turn to stare back at him. I felt my mouth fall open a little, but I was absorbing everything he was saying all at once. I wasn't exactly sure how all this had unfolded. Just the other day I was so thankful that I was going to be nowhere near his concert, and here he was - asking me to sing with him...again.

"Austin, I - I don't know what to say..."

Everything in my life had been so quiet lately and it was nice. It wasn't that I thought singing with Austin would change all that, but I knew that it could in ways good and bad.

Then I finally asked, "...why?"

He smiled and shook his head, "What do you mean, why? Ally, it hasn't been so long that you've forgotten, right?"

"Forgotten what?"

"'There's no way I could make it without you?'" he said incredulously, as he quoted one of our old songs. "How could I do an album celebrating how long I've been in the industry without you in it?" Then I heard this sadness in his voice, "Even if it's okay with you that I'm not in your life, you'll always mean something to me, Ally..." Before he let that sentence hang too long he quickly added, "I mean, without you I wouldn't have this music, this life I'm living...this dream."

I sighed and said awkwardly, "Austin, I know...what we mean to each other...I mean, about music. But I don't know if I can put myself out there again..."

"What are you so afraid of?"

I was old enough to name it honestly now, "Hope - that I can make it, that people can see me for me...not because of you."

"That was never true, Ally...they just weren't ready for you..."

I shook my head, "No, it's true. I was always in your shadow. I started at the same time Kira did and she hit the ground running. And I know Jimmy's her dad, but I know he gave us both an equal shot. Now she's on her third international tour; she emailed me from Brazil the other day asking if I had gotten back into songwriting. But Austin, I just can't...I can't keep on writing songs for other people to sing. I'm not fifteen anymore and hiding behind the curtains or falling apart on the TV screen. I know what I wanted and I know I didn't get it. And I need to learn that that's okay - that there are other dreams and other reasons to be happy."

At this point, Austin was looking at the floor and when I stopped talking he looked up and said, "Like Rick?"

I smiled, "He's a nice guy...really sweet." I sighed, "Too nice of a guy to find out all this stuff about me this way."

Austin's eyes widened, "He doesn't know about any of this?" He laughed, "And I thought he was a fan."

"I didn't even know he was a fan of your music until today," I replied.

Austin looked suddenly confused, "I don't know how he could not have known that we worked together on music, that that's why I got to where I am Did he not have the Internet in high school?"

I laughed, "Another thing I'd like to point out. I've been able to walk the streets of Miami without anyone ever knowing I was the same Ally Dawson who wrote songs for Austin Moon at the beginning of his career." I shrugged, "Which is a sign that you should just make another great and fun album...your fans are going to love it. They always do."

"But only because of you," he insisted.

"Austin, think about it - I haven't written anything for you in years and you're still here. Maybe once upon a time, but not anymore."

He sighed and then resigned, "Can you at least think about it for a few days?"

I nodded, figuring I owed him that much, even though I already knew my answer.

He smiled, "Good."

He stood up and then reached out his hand to me, to help me up.

I looked at him and then down at his hand with a little reluctance, but then put my hand into his. I felt the familiar steadiness of his grip as I stood up and then suddenly, I felt like I was being swept up. That's when I found myself in his arms, in the familiar tightness of his hug.

I stood there holding him too, thinking that our quick hug earlier had felt like nothing, that this - this hug - was the real "Hello" hug...the one he would have given if Rick hadn't been in the room, if time - and my actions - hadn't pulled us apart for so long.

I heard him say quietly, "I've missed you, Ally."

And I wanted to tell him the same thing, but just when I was going to, I saw Rick in the distance staring at us.

End of Chapter! Feedback appreciated.