"Wilson, hold the elevator," said House as he limped at full tilt toward him. "You have to save me from…"

"House," yelled Cuddy. "You can't escape me. You are not going anywhere near that patient. I will…" but her words were cut off as the elevator doors shut.

Wilson put his hand over his eyes. "What," he said painstakingly. "Did I just get involved in?"

House smirked. "I am Doctor Kimble. I'm on the run – searching for the one armed man who killed my wife."

"Oh God," was Wilson's only response.

"Oh relax. I'll just give her a little time to calm down and then I'll sneak back in to the patient and whammo – one LP coming up."

"You know the words 'whammo and LP don't usually sit well in the same sentence," remarked Wilson. "Do you think she is going to be ok after the whole tick thing. You nearly got clobbered – again."

"Yeah, she'll be fine. She loves me deep down."

Just then the hospital intercom interrupted them. 'Will all security please be on the look out for Doctor Gregory House. He is described as tall, wearing a dark blue jacket and brown trousers, scruffy looking and carries a cane. Will any medical staff who see Doctor House please report his whereabouts to security'.

Wilson looked at House and smiled. "She'll be fine huh?" He snorted. "Does that mean I have to turn you in?" he asked sweetly as he reached for his pager.

House waggled his cane under Wilson's nose. "Hey buster. I am armed and dangerous."

"The whole hospital will be looking for you now. And tall scruffy looking men with canes aren't all that inconspicuous."

House's eyes lit up. "But - I - know every nook and cranny of this hospital – and I can limp like the wind."

Just then another call came through. 'Would Doctor Wilson please report to Doctor Cuddy's office immediately'.

The elevator door opened and after a furtive look to make sure the coast was clear House stepped out. "You grass me up and you're a dead man Jimmy the Onc." And with that he was gone leaving a bewildered Wilson standing in the elevator.

….

He grinned at his own cleverness. He should have gone into crime he would have made a great criminal genius. The coast was clear. He turned the corner and ran slap bang into Cuddy. She was standing there with her arms folded.

"About time you got here."

House could only splutter and point. "But how did you… no one… secret..." he gurgled.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "You think you know your way around this hospital? I am the administrator," she said with a smile. "I knew you would come by this way. It was only a matter of time."

House tried to regain some of his snark. "Oh yeah, and what are you going to do about it?" he asked petulantly.

She put her hand to her cheek and mock thought for a second. "I think you need a little time out. Someplace quiet. Someplace relaxing. Someplace secure. Someplace on the third floor."

House's eyes widened as he realized what she meant. "No way – you can't." But it was too late. He turned but the two security guards who had been creeping up grabbed his arms and began to pull him backwards.

Cuddy smiled evilly and plucked the cane out of his hand. "It's just until the patient gets transferred then I'll let you out… maybe."

…..

Many hours later:

He was so furious he didn't even look at her. He just grabbed the cane she held out and walked out of the room without a glance, stomping his way down the hall with exaggerated thumps of his cane.

"Are you 'a fugitive from a chain gang' now or were you paroled?" asked Wilson. House said nothing. He just slammed the door, sat on the exam table and stared at the floor.

Wilson continued. "You're lucky. You got to sit back and relax. I got sent to the clinic all day for 'aiding and abetting the enemy' as Cuddy called it." Wilson snorted. "And the worst part was that I was actually innocent." He pointed a finger at the sulking House. "You think you've got it bad. Try being your friend."

"She locked me up," he exclaimed. "All day. In the psych ward!" House was practically bristling with indignation. "Do you know how boring it is to be locked up?"

"Well you have more experience of it than I do," said a bemused Wilson as he watched House slide off the bed and begin to pace. "But I presume you spent the day pacing up and down and yelling at the nurses to let you out."

House stopped and gave him an evil look. "Nurses are traitorous bastards," he muttered darkly. He continued pacing. "When I get hold of her I'm gonna fill her car with toothpaste and loosed all her buttons so they pop off at board meetings and… and… and…"

"Do your clinic hours?" came a voice from the door. The two men turned to see Cuddy standing there looking smug. She looked at her watch. "There is still an hour to go till the clinic closes. Thanks for volunteering Doctor House." She turned to go. "I'm sure you'll find it more stimulating than the rest of your day was – oh and by the way you can pick up your Gameboy from my office at the end of the week." Then with a smile she left.

House just stared after her in amazement. "Wilson, shoot me now."

"Why House."

"That…" he jerked a finger at Cuddy's retreating back. "That she-devil has bested me every time lately. I have spent more time in this clinic in the last six months than I did in the first seven years of my tenure." He turned to Wilson, his eyes wide with fear. "I am losing it. They other day I hid in a broom closet to avoid her."

"You always hide in broom closets to avoid Cuddy," said Wilson rationally.

House waggled his hands frantically. "Yes, but before it was because it was fun and it freaked out the janitors. This time I could practically hear the chains jangling in her hands."

Okay maybe House was losing it, thought Wilson. "Chains?"

House's eyes were wide. "She will chain me to an exam room. She's threatened to do it. I'll die here," he said mournfully as he sat on the exam table. "Alone and unloved. Surviving on a diet of tongue depressors and lollipops, but not the tasty red lollipops – the nasty orange ones," he continued getting caught up in his martyr-esque fantasy. "She'll come in one day and find a skeleton next to my cane. Then she'll be sorry."

Maybe the psych ward wasn't so far fetched, thought Wilson. "House, when was the last time you ate? Or slept for that matter," he asked.

House looked blearily at his watch, which Wilson knew perfectly well had broken three weeks ago. "I dunno. What day is it?"

"Right you…" he said as he picked himself up. "Home, food and rest." He gathered House up by the scruff of his jacket and frog marched him out the exam room.

He nodded to Cuddy as they passed. "Doctors House and Wilson check out," he said at her annoyed look. "I'll deposit him first thing in your office tomorrow. Then you can do what you want with him." He smiled to himself as he lugged his friend out the door.

"But for now this little boy is overtired and needs to go to bed."