Captain Spirk
Disclaimer: Yeah they're mine alright when I die and enter heaven.
Summary: Finding a way out of this mess is a chore in and of itself as Kirk/Spock found out.
A/N: Thank you EVERYONE for your kind words and encouragement!
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Chapter Four: Is There Method To This Madness?
Today is the day when Kirk with the approval of Spock decided that they needed a solution to this madness and they need it NOW.
Therefore, they had call upon the Command Crew for a meeting in the briefing room to put their heads together (not in the Kirk/Spock way though) to come up with a SOLUTION.
Sulu, Uhura, Chekov had all showed up and did the obligatory staring that used to drive Kirk up the wall.
God, he knows that he is very, very handsome and stuff (don't call me vain damnit!).
And now combined with Spock's Vulcan exoticness; UBER HOT would be about the right word to describe him/Spock physically.
I mean come on-the first thing Kirk did when he saw a mirror was to get a good look.
Who can blame him?
Hey, even Spock had to admit that the most logical description to their combined masculinity is 'VERY PLEASING AESTHETICS CAPTAIN'.
Well now.
Who would dare challenge Mr. Super Science Officer in observation?
Exactly.
He'd have no trouble falling in love with himself (Not VAIN-thank you very much) so he's given to allow his Command Crew a good ogle for a minute or so before clearing his/Spock's throat.
'AHEM,'
They'd gotten the message immediately and averted their gazes elsewhere.
But that was not the end of it.
Sulu, Chekov and Uhura have decided to discuss him/Spock now.
In hushed whispers.
Kirk caught the words 'Spirk, Spork or something resembling 'Kock' in their conversation.
He can feel his blood beginning to boil in embarrassment.
But wait.
Hey, normally he wouldn't have been able to hear that sort of hush hush conversations from this distance.
Hm.
Obviously he had also inherited a very keen sense of hearing (apart from the hotness-ohlala!) thanks to Spock's Vulcanoid capability.
Well, maybe this stuck to his First Officer lark isn't so bad after all.
Whoops.
Did Spock manage to catch that?
From the part amused/part curious thought Spock is sending him apparently he had.
[Seriously, can it get more awkward than this?]
[Apparently it can Captain]
Damnit.
And McCoy and Scotty were still no shows.
A few moments later, they are still waiting for the Doctor and Engineer.
Perhaps McCoy is still angry.
Somehow the news of the nerve-pinching had reached the crew like the wild-fire and almost everyone is curious to get a glimpse of the Captain/First Officer.
It was a challenged getting into the Briefing Room without being noticed. (Kirk finally understood what it must felt like to be a member of the Beatles. Yes The Beatles. Kirk has good tastes in music)
Personally Kirk suspected Bones himself who had spread the rumour in retaliation.
Speaking of the Doctor, if you researched the meaning of 'royally pissed' in the dictionary; you'll find Bones' face gracing the page.
Apparently, nerve-pinching is not the Doctor's favourite experience.
After, he had regained consciousness, Bones had proceeded to throw dirty looks at him/Spock every few seconds or so.
And now here they all are doing a pointless exercise of 'solve the puzzle' that no one seemed to be participating in.
Still no sign of Doctor and Chief Engineer.
Kirk had wanted to fidget but Spock wouldn't allow it.
He'd been getting tired of sitting so straight and still.
How in the world does Spock do it?
Damn, Vulcan grace.
[Spock, this isn't working]
[Indeed Captain. We should endeavour to get the crew to be cooperative or we shall sit here for all eternity without any action decided upon.]
[Ideas to get them to take this seriously Spock?]
[None at the moment Captain]
[Well, isn't that useful]
[Thank you Captain]
[Damnit Spock-this is serious!]
[So am I Captain]
This is getting ridiculous.
Not only are the crew's behaviours bordering on insubordination; apparently Spock had chosen to practise the art of being a bastard in the middle of a crisis.
Kirk cursed the day and the storm and everything that had led to this ludicrous situation.
[May I remind you Captain, how…]
[Illogical cursing is. Yes, I get it Spock]
[Surely not Captain since you insists on using colourful metaphors every time a crisis arises]
[Well thank you Spock. Why don't you try to come up with a useful suggestion instead?]
[That is what I always endeavour to do Captain]
God, is Spock trying to drive him insane with this incessant argument?
Where is the loyal, non-argumentative, logical Vulcan First Officer of his when he needed him?
[A most illogical question Captain; you know absolutely well that I am right here]
If anyone was checking Kirk's level of stress at the moment it would read: DANGER OVERLOAD.
And for the 1000th times today (or so it seemed) Kirk uttered the most overrated phrase of the day:
[Shut up Spock]
As Kirk and Spock were preoccupied with arguing amongst themselves (isn't that plain bipolar?), they cease to notice that FINALLY the crew had decided to be serious and pay attention to the matter at hand.
Only to find their Captain/First Officer whatever sitting rigidly, eyes glazed and unresponsive.
'Er, Captain?'
'Mr. Spock?'
'Anybody home?'
Chekov waved a hand in front of the unblinking eyes.
No response.
All together now: LET'S PANIC!
'God, they're not responding!'
'Somebody call Dr. McCoy!'
It was going to be a miniature mass hysteria in the making when on cue:
Said Doctor had chosen that very moment to make his grand appearance.
With a grim expression in tow (he still ain't forgiving 'KOCK' for their mistreatment of him) followed by a pale-faced Scotty.
Thank God the Chief Engineer has recovered his wits well enough to join the fun.
Or not.
To be continued…
Is it wrong to have too much fun at Kirk's expense? (XD).
Plus some naughty things our good Captain can come up with in the next chapter!
Stay tuned!
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