Ahh... I've been soooo busy lately... too much crap to do

-- I said there's going to be a lemon in this fic, but I'm really nervous about writing it T.T I know what I should say just not how to say it... I just hope the whole thing doesn't explode in my face -.- (That would hurt)

- I got a kitty yesterday! . She's so cute! I can't decide what to name her though... Motoko, Ame, Aoi, Machika, Yuca, Riza, or Misao... Help me pick please!

Disclaimer: Wow, haven't done one of these in a while... I don't own FMA, but Arakawa- san does...

-------------

Roy felt a burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. Unfortunately for him, Hawkeye never missed a beat. He should've known that Riza would never fall for a story that it took him five seconds to make up. He tried to mouth a reply, to defend himself in some way, but it came out jumbled and incoherent.

"Roy...," she pleaded, "I can't live with a piece of my life erased..." Riza looked at her reflection in the tea glass. "I can't live knowing that I've done something horrible to you!" As she said this, Riza rose from the chair and walked up to Roy. "Tell me," she said in a voice that was filled with anger, sorrow, anxiety, and self- disgust. Roy's obsidian eyes met hers as he got on his feet.

"You're sure...," his voice began to shake, "you're sure that you want to know everything?" Roy looked as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. In some ways... he did. Riza swallowed and nodded slowly.

"I don't want to be the cause of your pain," said Riza. Roy looked down at the floor with sad, heavy eyes.

"I brought this upon myself..." Riza sighed and forced Roy's gaze to meet hers once again.

"Then let me share the burden that you have taken on... please..." Roy's mind was screaming at him. 'Tell her that you love her! -no! You don't deserve her! You would only end up hurting her in the end!' – It was a then that Roy remembered a short conversation that he had with Riza.

"I... I've always loved you," she wanted to stop there, but it was a futile endeavor, "No matter how hard I tried, I could never completely suppress my feelings." Riza buried her face deeper in his jacket so Roy wouldn't see the few tears that had escaped her eyes. "Every time I see you, every time I hear your voice... that feeling comes flooding back. It hurt so badly, but each time I felt that way, I told myself that it would never happen..."

'It must have hurt her so horribly back then... and it must be unbearable for her right now,' thoughtRoy as he gently wiped away a tear that had fallen from Riza's face. 'I can't bear to see her in pain like this any longer... not when I can save her... not when she can save me...'

"Riza I know that-," both Roy and Riza nearly jumped out of their skins when the phone rang. Riza quickly snapped out of the momentary shock and retrieved the phone.

"Hawkeye speaking," she said as flatly as she could manage. Roy saw her nod a few times before she placed the phone back on the receiver. "Sir, the Fuhrer himself has assigned us a mission. It is to be labeled top priority."

"What do we have to do?"

"Lt. Havock could not tell me, the report was for your eyes only."

"Sounds serious..." Riza bit her lip as she walked over to the door.

"Havock asked that you go back to Headquarters, immediately..." Roy nodded wearily and picked up his coat.

"Goodnight... Lieutenant..." Riza resisted the urge to stop Roy from leaving and instead gave him a quick salute. She closed the door behind him, stumbled back into her bed room and fell asleep.

------

"Im such a coward," said Roy as he walked up the steps to Headquarters, "by not telling her, I'm only hiding from my fear of rejection... I know she loves me, but if she knew what I did-,"

"She would hate you," said a cold voice behind him. Mustang whipped around to face the person.

"You got what you wanted from me, Lust, now leave me to my thoughts!" Lust smiled and stood at his side.

"I am sorry that things aren't working out for you," her smile became wider, "I heard all about it."

Roy let out an irritated growl and Lust sighed. "I don't understand humans like that woman... She follows you with no regrets and, not outwardly, has she expressed any desire for compensation." She scowled and walked past Mustang. "What a meaningless existence, I hope to be there on the day that it is ended." By the time Roy turned around to respond, Lust was already gone. He mumbled a few curses and entered Headquarters.

When Roy reached his office, he sat down at his desk and heaved a great sigh. He opened up the confidential file and began to read through it. After a few minutes, he closed the file with a snap and laid his head down on his desk. This was just about the worst possible assignment he could have been given considering his current... situation. Roy closed his tired eyes and fell asleep as he was.

-----

Riza went to work the next day and found Roy at his desk. She ordered the men in the next room to be quite and not come into the Colonel's office unless it was an emergency. "Why do you do this to yourself Roy..." muttered Riza as she draped her jacket over his cold body. She stroaked his hair and Roy's eyes fluttered open. Riza began to withdraw her hand, but Roy grabbed her wrist. His head was still on his desk and his eyes were barely open,but he managed to pull her closer. "Riza," said Roy in less then a whisper, "I love you..." Or... at least that's what Riza thought she heard before Royreleased her wrist and fell back asleep.

----------------------------

(Yawn) I'm tired... I'll post the next chapter after I finish my Gt project . I haven't started and it's due on the 12 th!

–I promise that I will write longer chapters once I have the time!

— Cross your fingers for my poems that I entered in my school's poetry contest! One of my old poems that I wrote in like five minutes came in third place out of the seventh grade last year. I hope I did better this year... Especially since I was actually serious about it this time around.