Hello, lovelies! Here's chapter four. This past week has been super busy for me (never procrastinate on a costume there's a set deadline for) and haven't had any time to write. Shouldn't be a problem for now, but don't be surprised if the last couple of chapters are more... sparse.
Water sloshed across the linoleum of the kitchen as Bill dragged the mop across the tiles. The Mystery Twins had been leaving all of the heavy work to him as they kicked back and laughed at him every time he had the misfortune of tripping over his feet when carrying out the garbage or "accidentally" falling down the stairs when Dipper had asked for help with rearranging some furniture. Naturally, he would fume at Pine Tree for making such a mockery of his person. But Shooting Star was a different story...
The ex-demon felt a tap on his shoulder and spun around, nearly hitting Dipper in the face with the mop. "What do you want?" Bill spat.
Dipper gave him a disapproving look. "Tsk, tsk, Mr. Cipher. Employees that are discourteous to their bosses don't have very good job security, now do they?"
Bill groaned, tossing the mop into the water bucket behind him. "I'm sorry, Mr. Pines," he said in a painfully monotone voice. "What can I do you for?"
Dipper gave him a hearty slap on the back a sly smile on his face. "So glad you asked! A tour bus just pulled up, and I need a new attraction."
Bill started his way out towards the gift shop, where all of the "spare parts" were kept. "I'll whip something up for ya."
A hand spun him back around. "Wait, I wasn't finished. I need you to put this on for me. You're on in five." Bill took one glance into the plastic bag Dipper had given him and didn't even try to hold back a groan.
The Man of Mystery, Jr. led his crowd of tourists to the stage at the end of the main hallway. "Now ladies and gentlemen, have I got a treat for you," Dipper said. "Now, I guarantee this is one of the most magical creatures I've yet to encounter, and I have it wrapped around my little finger." He wiggled his pinky and got a couple of "oohs" and "aahs" out of the group. "You've all seen tiny pixies like Tinkerbell, but now I give to you... the largest fairy to have ever existed!" The visitors cheered as a blond man in a pink tutu and glittery wings was lowered from the ceiling via a rope.
"Yes, I am a fairy. Whoop-dee-do, I eat pots of glue," Bill said through gritted teeth.
Dipper held out a large bowl filled with the yellow spray-painted rocks from the gift shop. "If you throw gold at him he'll grant you a wish in five years."
The crowd went nuts, shoving each other out of the way for a handful of the "gold", which they then proceeded to throw rather forcefully at Bill. He covered his face with his hands and chocked back a scream when he saw the rocks flying towards him. He glared daggers at Dipper between his still gloved fingers. When the audience had at least begun to calm down, Bill voiced a very irritated, "Pine Tree, this is demeaning."
Dipper nudged the closest person. "I don't know da meaning of that word!" This got a kick out of the group. He didn't hear Bill mutter under his breath, "Sometimes I really hate how much of a Pines you are."
The tourists began to move on, leaving Dipper with the irked demon, still hanging from the rope. With one swift motion, the Pines whipped out his Swiss army knife and severed the rope, causing Bill to plummet into the floor below. Bill didn't bother to comment when he heard, "I guess you are a very cross dresser, hmm?"
"Spare me the puns," was his only reply.
"Hey, Dipping-sauce, whatcha got there?"
Bill shot up like a rocket at the sound of the newcomer's voice, and he was greeted with a snickering Mabel. The chestnut man could feel his chest starting to contort under the frilly fabric as his heart skipped a beat. He felt that uncomfortable heat mark his cheeks and ears again, and he had a sudden desire to tug at the outfit he was wearing, wishing he could change out of this blasted dress. Dipper sighed contentedly, dusting his hands off. "Ah, just finishing up a tour. What do you think of the new attraction? I say it's a keeper."
Bill put a threatening scowl on, his body felt like it was on fire. "You wouldn't dare."
"I second that!" was Mabel's eager reply. Bill growled at their amusement before storming off, tearing the wings off his back and that ridiculous tiara off his head. He made quick work of changing into black dress pants accompanied by a yellow vest and black dress shirt before making his way towards the gift shop; he could hear Dipper yelling for him to clean up after a kid who had gotten sick on the rug.
It took Bill an hour and three scrub brushes to get the stain out of the carpet, and when he was done he left the Shack to sweep the dust left by the group. He had just started on the deck when he heard the screen door squeak shut behind him. "What now, Dipper?" he snapped, not even bothering to look at the person behind him.
"Hey," Mabel's voice replied.
Bill paused before nudging an empty can of Pitt Cola aside, most likely left by their uncle. "What?" he asked again, his ears starting to warm. He could hear a sigh.
"I'm sorry. About my brother. He's just a bit... mad at you, I guess."
"It's been a month, how long can that kid hold a grudge?" Bill started working on the stairs.
"Really, it's been seven years. I think he's still mad about when you tried to-"
"I know, I know," Bill interrupted. Silence ensued apart from the sound of the broom against wood.
"Why are you really here?" was the question that was finally asked.
"I told you, I was fired."
Mabel shook her head. "No, there's more to it. I can tell. Why?"
Bill grunted at her onslaught of questions. "Because some people," he began, his eyes to the ground, "don't like the idea of free will. Everything must be exactly the opposite of how Joshua ran things..." Mabel didn't notice his eye twitch, but she did ask who Joshua was. She was left unanswered.
Dipper sat idly behind the register, his arm pressing his Journal against his torso. He looked fixedly out the window onto the porch. Every time his sister's mouth moved, the demon grinned, sometimes he even laughed, even though he never once looked in her direction, always at the ground. The Pines' face contorted.
Bill soon walked in with the broom in hand. He still had his gaze cast at his shoes, which were rather dusty. "Shooting Star?" he quietly asked.
"Yeah?"
"Talk again tomorrow?"
She grinned, walking towards the staircase. "Anytime, Nacho Man. It's not like you have to ask all the time."
Bill's face lighted and he stole a glance upwards. "Thank you." He watched her leave before Dipper took him by surprise and dragged a protesting Bill towards his room by the ear. Dipper smashed the door behind them.
"Bill, what is your deal, man? Tell me straight, why do you keep hanging around my sister?"
Bill gave him a confused look, giving his sore ear a rub. "What in the Realms do you mean, Pine Tree?"
"You spend way too much time alone with her, what are you doing to her?"
Bill scoffed at his abrasiveness. "If you're alluding to the assumption that I'm brainwashing her in some way, then you forget why I'm here in the first place."
Dipper grumbled, "Why do you even go near her, Bill? For the past month it seems like you've spent all your spare time with Mabel. Thinking about possessing her, too?"
"Maybe I quite like her company. Maybe turning human also gave me the need to interact with other humans enjoyably. And just maybe she sees no one else paying attention to the guy with a sense of fashion around here and makes a conscious decision to talk to him herself," he snapped, turning his back to the young man.
"Bill, so help me, if you touch my sister I'll-"
"What? Put in an elf costume?"
"Nah, I was thinking more along the lines of sudden death. You said you are human now, right?"
Bill unbuttoned his vest and hung it on the horns of the stuffed jackalope he had near the door. "Doesn't mean you will," he teased. "You need me around from the sound of it. You were skimming bankruptcy before I came here and worked my butt off for you, weren't ya?" He opened a drawer to store his gloves, but Dipper shifted his body weight to crush the blond's hand with a sickening crunch. Bill bit his tongue as not to scream, but couldn't help a whimper of surprise.
"Your arm not as durable as mine?" Dipper taunted.
"Pain always felt so buzzy, almost like a pins-and-needles feeling. Now it just... hurts," Bill said through clenched teeth.
Thumps could be heard from overhead before the door swung open. "I heard arguing from all the way upstairs, what are you-" She gasped when she saw the situation before her. "Dipper. So help me, if you broke his hand I'm making you take that second job at Lazy Susan's until all the bills are paid in advance."
Bill struggled to yank his hand from the drawer, saying, "No, no, i-it's fine, I'll be fine. Don't you worry your pretty little head over me." He gave an uneasy chuckle at the sight before him.
"Bill, hands don't have joints there."
"Eh, would you look at that, I'm... just double-jointed."
"Yeah, why don't you flaunt your new talent at the circus, I heard they were hiring freaks," Dipper butted in. His sister gave him a look.
"Dipper, can I talk to you for a sec?" She led him by the hand into the hallway before heaving a pent-up sigh. "Look, bro, I get that you two are 'mortal enemies' and all, but do you think you could tone things down a bit? We need his help, and you should be feeling thankful that anyone came along when they did, even if it did so happen to be Bill. You can't just go around and do this kind of stuff to him; he's just as human as the rest of us now and we need him to be able to do everything that we ask him to do. And frankly, if you remember, it's hard to even hold a mug with every bone in your hand shattered."
"Hey, I'm just helping karma along here. Have you forgotten what this monster's done to people? Done to us? Mabel, if anything I'm doing a public service. What if... What if he was going to slit someone's throat tonight, huh? Well, now holding a knife would be quite hard to do."
Mabel knocked her heel to the floorboards and hoarsely whispered, "You're being ridiculous! Can you even hear yourself right now?"
Dipper held his hands to his twin's shoulders. "Maybe I am, but the fact is is that he's dangerous. I don't want to see you get hurt is all. You're my sister, and I love you. Look, I still don't know what's he's trying to pull, but until I figure it out, I need you to be smart and stay away from him."
Mabel reached up to give one of her brother's hands a squeeze. "You don't have to worry so much, I can handle him. And it's not like I would let him get away with anything. Remember all those bullies back in grade school? It only took a couple minutes for ol' Mabel here to send 'em packing." Dipper shook his head and let a sigh escape before Mabel forced eye contact with him. "Hey, it took a stressed, sleep-deprived Dipper to make a deal with Bill. I'm pretty sure I have my wits more about me than that poor sucker."
Dipper flashed her a small grin. "I know you do, but I'm just warning you, he can be crafty at times."
Mabel fluffed his slicked-back hair and winked, "I love you too, man." She left her twin in the hall to tend to any of the "assistant's" injuries.