Apologies for the delay in posting but the Olympics have been in town - so gold medals to all those sparing time to review. Special thanks to my football fan beta Liz - not to rub it in but the women's gold medal match was even more amazing live than on TV!
Never in a million years did Santana ever think she'd be heading on back to McKinley High for a reunion, she'd always been so desperate to get away from that school and this town. Even more astounding was that Quinn was heading back as well to the scene of her most troubled years too. Quinn's high school years probably contained more drama then most people could fit into a life time and if you threw in the evangelical christian household and crossed it with Quinn's, at the time, repressed sexuality - well it was a surprise Quinn hadn't been just another teenage suicide statistic. Instead she'd settled for meeting the teenage mum stereotype. And yet here they were, because of Rachel. Rachel had been rather vague about her own motivations for coming but surely there must be some element of a 'fuck you' tour going on behind that happy grin. Quinn was here because she couldn't say no to Rachel and Santana was here to protect them from themselves and if necessary to sort out anybody who dared even look the wrong way at her two best friends. She was a sort of third wheel but when she looked back on the Unholy Trinity years maybe this was payback for the number of times she and Brittany cast Quinn in that role during high school. Rachel had insisted on a low key, no-need-for-bodyguards visit despite advice to the contrary, which was why Claire was checked into a nearby hotel with a security detail on standby. Santana grinned; at least she wouldn't be sleeping alone, not with Claire in town. It was just the small problem of Rachel's ignorance to Claire's presence that needed negotiating. Santana was torn between whether she wanted there to be a need for some security or not. Surely Jacob Ben Israel would have a picture of Rachel up on twitter before they'd finished even remembering his name.
Another wry smile flitted across Santana's lips. It was fitting that the school's biggest unpressed lemon - a phrase that could almost have been invented with Quinn in mind - was returning as one half of one of America's most famous lesbian couple. She could hardly wait for Quinn and Rachel to meet up with that idiot Finn. His two ex-girlfriends were a highly visible married couple and she wondered how much furniture had been flattened once he'd found out. She took some kind of perverse joy at assuming he'd been really put out by the revelation, possibly because she still hadn't forgiven him for 'accidentally' outing her in the corridor. He just did his 'aww shucks oops' routine and escaped any kind of censure while she had to deal with the fallout, particularly within her less than accepting extended family. She couldn't really decided whether he actually was so stupid that he had no idea of the implications of his words or whether it had all been intentional as he had always had hints of homophobia in his behaviour and it was hardly as if she and him had ever really got along. Golden boy Finn never did get called up on it though, Shyster was happy with him feigning contriteness and singing some lame song of apology - and singing it badly at that.
Quinn had always orbited around Rachel in high school even if her initial method of dealing with her attraction was extreme denial through verbal abuse of Rachel, name calling that Santana readily joined in because she had a talent for conjuring up nicknames. Not a talent that she'd ever found a use for in the adult world. Rachel was unaffected by her and Quinn's pettiness and she vented some pent up anger, so where was the harm had been her approach. Anyone, you didn't really need a gaydar, could see that Quinn was obsessed with Rachel whereas Rachel had always been harder to read. Perhaps Rachel's high school years were the real start of her acting career as she always presented herself as a mix of immune and oblivious to the verbal mockery she was continually subjected to. She was unfailingly polite in the face of extreme provocation and the only time Santana had managed to provoke a reaction was when Rachel suggested her career prospects consisted solely of pole dancing. She'd been outraged at the time and only later came to appreciate Rachel's occasionally acerbic humour that she'd kept under wraps so successfully at school.
Santana had once thought it would be a good idea, years after the event when considering her future career options in New York, to remind Rachel that she'd once intimated that the only job Santana would have would involve a pole. Rachel hadn't even been the slightest bit embarrassed or apologetic, instead she had reeled off non-stop for 10 minutes the wide range of insults and taunts that Santana had ever levelled at her until Santana had pleaded with her to stop. She suspected they were recounted in chronological order knowing Rachel's phenomenal memory as she then did. Some of the taunts she had actually forgotten, all of them made her wish she'd been mute for high school. Rachel had then looked her straight in the eye and said something along the lines of when Santana was ready to apologise for all of them then maybe she'd be ready to apologise for the pole remark. Santana had been devastated. She thought she was good friends with Rachel but Rachel's probably perfect recall of any disparaging remark she'd ever uttered suggested that maybe she didn't know Rachel very well after all - could they even be called friends if Rachel was holding onto all of that? Several sleepless nights later she'd appeared red-eyed and distraught at Rachel's door to plead for forgiveness, absolution and a fresh start. Rachel had hugged her and said a sorry was sufficient and it was time for them both to move on. Santana had been simultaneously relieved and disappointed, she certainly wouldn't have forgiven that easily.
So while Quinn spent her high school years tracking Rachel's every move apparently with disdain, Rachel had acted a mix of oblivious or over friendly to Quinn. It seemed to drive Quinn mad to be ignored by Rachel; Santana could recall the annoyed mutterings of an irritated Quinn usually in the Cheerios changing rooms. What had made Quinn even madder though was when Rachel interacted with her as if they were good friends, interactions that would result in a beaming Rachel skipping down the corridor and a frustrated Quinn staring after her in what Santana now classified as a lovelorn manner. She'd once tried to find out from Rachel years later if she knew the effect her over friendliness had had on Quinn but Rachel had just expressed bewilderment at what on earth Santana was talking about, although that split second smirk as Santana moved the conversation on told a whole different story. Rachel for all her apparent openness was in fact a rather tightly closed book. No wonder Quinn had been so intrigued.
Santana was too wrapped up in her own problems and relationships during high school to pay much attention to Quinn's immense struggle with feelings she'd been raised to consider evil and controllable with a bit of willpower. She just knew that a well-timed mention of Rachel could quickly distract Quinn from her train of thought and many a time she had successfully used that technique to get herself out of trouble. One well-timed aside about the length (or rather the lack of length) of Rachel's skirt and Quinn was suddenly unable to maintain a coherent argument. It only gradually dawned on Santana that Quinn always had Rachel in her eye line whether in class, in the cafeteria or at Glee club however she only truly realised the extent of Quinn's fixation when browsing the history and favourites on Quinn's computer one sleepover. Links to Rachel's MySpace, Facebook and YouTube pages were all there to see but when she'd challenged Quinn on it and Quinn had blithely thrown a 'know thine enemy' statement her way and she'd just accepted it. What an idiot!
Mind you the Finn factor had been enough to throw everyone off what was really going on in front of them. Quinn and Finn, then Rachel and Finn then back to Quinn and Finn before finally fitting in another Rachel and Finn - it was sometimes hard to keep up. Two things struck Santana about that: one, what did these apparently intelligent women see in the rather gormless (and she was being polite because really he was a fucking idiot and completely useless at sex) Finn. And two, why did either of these two apparently intelligent (going out with Finn not once but twice surely made the intelligent label debatable?) women take him back after him daring to go out with their arch nemesis? An unexpected consequence was the over inflation of Finn's ego already made large by the fawning misplaced admiration of that Glee teacher, Will Shyster. Perhaps the only good thing to come out of Quinn's car accident was Rachel suddenly ending her relationship with Finn. They went from 'nearly' weds to single in a timeframe to make your head spin and most surprisingly of all without any apparent regrets and sadness on Rachel's part. She hardly noticed and barely acknowledged Finn for those final days of school. Rumours were rife, most of them started by Santana. Her most inspired being that Rachel had caught Finn in a compromising position with one of her Dads. Cue instant fall in Finn's status (everyone had always known, what with him singing in Glee and didn't he once wear a dress to school?), wide spread sympathy for the tragic/heroic victim Rachel (so brave keeping it all to herself) and much amusement for her. She still hadn't mentioned it to Quinn or Rachel because…well hey; they were young and stupid then. Now, every time she met the Berry Dads' she suffered twinges of guilt. Still, it was long ago and so hardly likely to ever come up. Right?
Besides Finn, there was also the fact that significant interactions between Quinn and Rachel often happened when they were on their own at school, a feat managed by overuse of the girls restroom as a backdrop to their fraught with deeper meaning exchanges. She'd gleaned quite a lot of this from Quinn, as Quinn lay partially paralysed in a hospital bed full of regrets about all the things she hadn't done as well as all the things she had. Santana had listened in growing astoundment as Quinn listed off the various exchanges she'd had with Rachel - a slap at prom to prevent the kiss she'd wanted to plant on Rachel's lips after that heart breaking song being the most surprising. Santana had dragged her jaw up from the floor to ask Quinn whether she was going to act on her feelings once she was out of hospital only to be surprised once again by Quinn's adamant refusal. Rachel may well be single but the timing was coincidental and there was no hint that Rachel would welcome Quinn's advances even if she were prepared to make them, which she wasn't. Santana had to acknowledge the unlikelihood of Rachel being a friend of Dorothy's but if she didn't experiment when young, when would she. Quinn had been puzzled enough to ask who on earth Dorothy was as Santana struggled to bring the conversation back under control, lesbian terminology 101 could wait. Quinn wasn't in discussion mode - Rachel had a glittering future ahead of her and some wheelchair bound high school hanger-on was the last thing she needed in her life. Santana was still trying to formulate a response that didn't involve a bed-ridden invalid being called miserably self-pitying when Quinn closed the topic as no longer suitable for future discussion. So, although Rachel continued to be a popular topic of conversation as in everything she'd done, said or sung, Quinn's feelings were a no-go area.
Santana had watched as a subdued Quinn made enough progress to finally be discharged from the hospital knowing something needed to change as the sand on their high school timers slipped away. She'd tried not talking about Rachel only to find Quinn then turned to Tina and Mercedes for her Rachel information fix. Quinn's more somber and quieter persona was written off by everyone else as Quinn needing time to adjust and that no doubt being in a wheelchair, even if apparently temporary, was enough to make anyone downhearted. Santana knew better, that the real cause of Quinn's unhappiness was what Quinn perceived to be an unrequited love for Rachel and Santana was fairly convinced that unrequited might be an under statement of Quinn's predicament. So she'd put her life on the line and called in the help of one of the most influential figures in Quinn's life, Sue Sylvester. Santana tuned out all the references to breast enhancement surgery, ignored the insults to her intelligence for even daring to presume that a nationally famous pundit and coach such as Sue herself had even the slightest interest or the time to care about the emotional well being of a girl no longer able to contribute to Sue's world domination plans (Cheerleader world domination Santana hoped) and ploughed on with her request - Sue needed to snap Quinn back to a world of harsh truth. She had barely finished speaking before finding herself ejected from Sue's office with a flea in every orifice. Nothing ventured, nothing gained had never rung so hollow; she'd ventured and wished she hadn't.
It had come as a surprise then when she witnessed Sue Sylvester giving a trademark verbal bashing to Quinn one afternoon in a crowded but excruciatingly silent corridor. Maybe Sue had misunderstood her request, as Santana hadn't wanted this. The only person not frozen to the spot by this unexpected onslaught on Quinn's lack of walking ability was a determined Rachel, who strode imperiously through the gaping spectators and stood inches away from Sue, quivering with what Santana initially mistook to be fear. She recognised it as outrage as soon as Rachel spoke, her indignant voice carrying for all to hear. Rachel's rush of blood to the head was obviously wearing off as she listed a multitude of reasons why Sue was a misguided hypocrite, you could almost see realisation dawning as Rachel paled and her voice wavered slightly just at the end of her impromptu Sue scolding. Rachel then glanced at Quinn straightened her shoulders and bravely attempted to outglare Sue Sylvester - all round high marks for drama, delivery and total, total stupidity. Such a blatant show of defiance was unheard of and as Sue's hand rose everyone was expecting her to slap Rachel, which was odd now she thought about it, as Sue was never physically violent. Instead Sue restricted herself to a patronising cheek tap and a drawled dismissal of the 'ankle biter.' It was Santana's first inkling that maybe Quinn's feelings weren't unrequited as there was absolutely no way anyone of sound mind stood up to Sue Sylvester unless they had a compelling motivation - she was Quinn's best friend and it hadn't even occurred to her to get involved; she had been readying herself to offer some post Sue Sylvester rant therapy. Mind you noble but suicidal gestures weren't really her style and who'd have thought that actually walking away in one piece after giving Sue a few home truths in front of an audience was an option?
Quinn had thrown herself into an intensive rehabilitation program while Rachel immersed herself in song and Santana despaired at the cluelessness of the pair of them. Her physical well being had been threatened when she'd made a quip about Quinn needing to 'stop making out with Berry' at the Prom Queen vote count. As soon as it was just them in the room, Quinn had been out of her chair applying pressure to Santana's neck with her forearm as she pushed Santana up against the wall and growled. It was rather a novel way of finding out that Quinn could now walk, or at least stand and intimidate. Obviously Quinn's upper body strength had improved immensely during her recuperation so Santana had bitten back all the smart remarks that came to mind as Quinn's hazel eyes bored threateningly into hers. Yes she'd back off, leave Berry alone, mind her own business and crucially forget anything Quinn had told her when she was under all that rather heavy medication immediately after her accident, oh and by the way, was Quinn still hankering after some Berry juice? Santana had struggled to summon up enough oxygen to splutter an apology at that point as her windpipe was suddenly squeezed and the room began to spin. There followed, after much glaring between them and laboured breathing on her part, one of their very rare heart-to-hearts where Santana advocated Quinn taking action to find out where she stood (no pun intended) with Rachel and Quinn had used examples of inaction from Santana's past to nullify the value of her advice. It seemed to Santana that Quinn was at her happiest when miserable but she wisely didn't share that thought.
The best Santana could manage in trying to spur Quinn into action was to stand guard on the girl's restroom after pushing Quinn and her tickets in after Rachel. It seemed a fitting venue and with time running out maybe Quinn would finally seize the moment. It was a partial success, Rachel had the train tickets but Quinn had bottled out yet again and mumbled about friendship rather than the 'why we could be more than friends' speech that Santana had made her rehearse while she played the role of Rachel in a variety of styles. While she most enjoyed playing Rachel as a sex starved nyphomaniac, she feared that maybe her outraged and insulted role-play of Rachel had been a little too convincing. Quinn had looked close to tears when she'd enthusiastically thrown herself into a dramatic pose and announced in a withering tone "I'm sorry, all these years of bullying were your idea of foreplay? No wonder the Fabrays are so fucked up." Admittedly not very Rachel in vocabulary but it obviously hit a nerve and in the process undid all her best-laid plans.
Santana had waved Quinn off to Yale with strict instructions to throw herself into student life and for everyone's sake to get herself laid at the earliest opportunity. It was time to move on, she didn't specify from Rachel but the implication was there, and to get a life. She had been busy finalising her admittedly rather vague plans to head to New York to see if she could make it in the entertainment business so she was only vaguely aware of Quinn's e-mails ending with enquiries of whether she'd heard from or about the other Gleeks. Quinn had suggested she contacted Rachel about her imminent arrival in New York and she'd umm'ed and ahh'ed about it before deciding she might as well given she knew the grand total of one person in the city. To her surprise she and Rachel had laughed their way through that first meeting in a coffee shop and she suddenly realised how much time she'd wasted not giving Rachel a chance. They were soon practically inseparable, she'd write long enthusiastic e-mails to Quinn about their New York adventures and share the limited information contained in the rather brief replies with a mildly curious Rachel. Rachel implied any interest in Quinn was strictly mild curiosity for a vague acquaintance and she downplayed her interest so effectively that Santana was immediately suspicious. Rachel was impervious to all of Santana's information seeking tactics from the clichéd approach of plying Rachel with alcohol to trying to provoke an angry response à la Sue Sylvester. It never occurred to Santana to just ask a straightforward question about whether or not Rachel had even the slightest romantic interest in Quinn.
Santana had gone for a broader approach to the problem by finding out whether Rachel was even the tiniest bit interested in girls. She persuaded Rachel's friends that a gay bar kareoke night would be a great recreational activity for would-be stars and once there left them to encourage Rachel to take the stage - not that Rachel ever needed much encouragement. Rachel didn't disappoint and soon had the entire audience in the palm of her hand with her rendition of 'I am what I am'. One of the girls from Rachel's dance classes had then challenged Rachel to finish the evening with a date and hence prove her sexuality fluidity rather than just talking a lot of hot air about it - Santana could barely contain her excitement. Immediately Rachel's face took on a determined look and she began to scan the crowds before heading off into the mêlée. Rachel was back within fifteen minutes with an athletic looking rather striking blond who smiled and laughed at everything Rachel whispered in her ear. Santana watched on in amazed disbelief until Rachel and the blond Barbie were soon making their apologies and heading off for some 'fresh air', the blond's arm wrapped tightly round Rachel's shoulders. Santana could hardly contain her curiosity until their weekly brunch date the next day.
Rachel didn't make brunch and in fact disappeared from the face of the earth for an entire week - the only communication was an 'I'm fine' text in response to Santana's slightly hysterical text threatening to contact the Berry dads if Rachel didn't reply immediately. When Rachel finally reappeared tired and slightly emotional, she was tight-lipped and gave little detail of what she had been up to for an entire week with Vicki, the blond she'd met at the bar. Vegetarian Vicki, a huge fan of Rachel's singing, was a second year English student at NYU and a member of their cheer leading squad. From the limited information Santana gleaned, Vicki the wonderful - good-humoured, kind, musical theatre loving Vicki - had only one fault, picking up women in bars and it seemed she'd only ever done that once. The brief intense whatever it was that Vicki and Rachel had shared was over for the moment as Rachel had some unfinished business elsewhere that she had no wish to talk about. Santana bit back her curiosity. The conversation changed to news Rachel had missed during her absence so Santana had taken the opportunity to relate a mostly ficticous, highly detailed account of just how much fun Quinn seemed to be having at Yale. She was pleased to note Rachel's faint blush, her lip chewing and the way she fiddled with the unused train ticket in her purse. Santana's musings over whether Quinn had taken her advice and finally got herself laid had Rachel blinking back tears and Santana feeling simultaneously pleased and guilty. Vicki was never mentioned again from that moment onwards but Rachel's absent-minded fiddling with her train ticket became a more pronounced habit as she gazed glassy-eyed into the middle distance and her enquiries about Quinn were a tad less subtle.
Rachel's friendship was one of the very few good things about Santana's early days in New York. She took a job waiting tables so as not to be too dependent on her mother's money, she auditioned for bit parts, which she didn't get, and her relationship with Brittany quickly fell apart, distance only emphasising their differences. Rachel was always there - to encourage, to talk, to listen or to just let her be. It was Rachel who persuaded her to audition for a job singing in a bar, it didn't get her talent spotted but the constant murmur of conversation as she sang did make her start to reconsider whether a life in the entertainment business was really for her. A small part in the chorus with the unsocial hours, poor pay and excessive rehearsing just to go unnoticed at the back of a crowd had been the final nail in the coffin of the entertainment dream but that had come quite a while later.
In the meantime, as she mourned her lost relationship with Brittany, she found being in the middle of Quinn wanting to know everything about Rachel and Rachel wanting to know everything about Quinn wearing rather than amusing. Her attempt to persuade Rachel to use the train ticket to visit Quinn proved fruitless and left her swearing in Spanish so as not to be treated to a Rachel homily about only those with a deficient vocabulary needed to resort to swearing. FFS. Eventually in a moment of what turned out to be inspired genius she arranged with each to meet them at a Vegetarian restaurant near her apartment, the presence of the other left unmentioned. She played the best friend card with Quinn, used key words that would galvanise Rachel into immediate action and then sat nervously with a tight-lipped Quinn awaiting the car crash to happen. There was always the possibility she would end the evening with two fewer friends than she had started it with. The instant Rachel appeared disheveled and worried at the table and then collapsed in a seat gazing wide-eyed at Quinn and Quinn hungrily drank in the sight of Rachel; Santana knew she'd done the right thing. A brief remark as she placed Quinn's hand in Rachel's and she was away with clear instructions about brunch - no way was Rachel going to disappear on her this time. She reckoned she could have danced naked on the table and not been noticed by the pair of them as they mutely gazed intensely at each other. She'd tipped the waiter generously commenting her friends probably wouldn't be eating, well not at the restaurant anyway and headed off.
It was a rather rumpled Rachel and an overly smiley Quinn who vaguely greeted her the next morning apparently unable to tear their eyes away from each other still. Santana insisted on setting a brisk pace to their usual diner and wrestled with jealousy at the happiness positively radiating off her friends. As they sat at their usual table Rachel made a valiant attempt at conversation with Santana by asking what she'd been up to the previous evening but Rachel's eyes were soon back on Quinn as they intertwined fingers so Santana's purely imaginary but lurid tale of the bevy of Hollywood starlets she'd spend an exhausting night with went unappreciated beyond a couple of non-committal grunts. Santana ordered brunch for the three of them and bravely tried to engage the dazed pair in conversation with rather limited success - did eliciting simple yes or no answers count as conversation? The only bit of animation was when she took credit for facilitating their first kiss and then found out they'd kissed in high school no less while practising that Wicked duet. Suddenly the weird vibes she'd felt and dismissed during that performance suddenly made a whole lot more sense but she didn't have a chance to discuss it as Rachel and Quinn were busy gazing dreamily at each other again seemingly brought on by the word kiss. In the end she settled for just taking in how different Quinn looked with a permanent smile on her face - surely those little used muscles that made Quinn smile would be aching tomorrow - and how much older Rachel looked with her frizzy slightly wild hair. Santana's fears that she would need to eat three meals proved unfounded once the food arrived but then the other two had skipped dinner and were no doubt just burning up the calories the previous night. She insisted that the three of them went for a walk in Central Park as it was such a lovely day and after a lengthy stroll Santana finally threw in the towel - she had plenty of material to tease the pair mercilessly about should their feet ever touch the ground again. Besides, being in the company of such happiness only emphasised her lack of it.
If she'd thought bringing Rachel and Quinn together would reduce how much time she spent talking to one about the other she was woefully mistaken. Rachel wanted to share every interaction she had with Quinn (Quinn said/texted/e-mailed/skyped this) whereas Quinn wanted to know who Erica/Josie/any female named in Rachel's communications were and just how close were they to Rachel but didn't want to ask Rachel for fear of coming across as maybe a bit jealous. Santana managed to point out to Rachel she already knew how witty and intelligent Quinn was, that some things were meant just for Rachel not for sharing and that maybe she'd like to be a little less enthusiastic about her amazingly wonderful and beautiful female friends when texting her girlfriend. With Quinn she just kept re-iterating just how besotted Rachel was with her and then she'd mildly insult Rachel and Quinn would instantly leap into protective mode telling Santana how incredibly loyal, stunningly beautiful and outstandingly talented Rachel was. "Not the sort of person to have affairs then?"Santana would inquire mildly. "Definitely not" Quinn would state emphatically.
Santana had once put Rachel on a train to New Haven, more for her sanity than for Rachel's and apart from that either she'd adjusted or Rachel and Quinn had calmed their euphoria down. She enjoyed the new happy smiley Quinn and the quietly confident and invariably happy Rachel. She'd book tickets for shows, films or exhibitions for three of them when she knew Quinn was going to be in town. Once she mentioned her unhappiness in how her life was going, Rachel was immediately on the case helping her to explore other options and ensuring she didn't have too much time to wallow in self-pity. Rachel had helped her sort out her application to college and Quinn had travelled to Lima to support her when she revealed her change of plans to her mother - not that her wanting to become a doctor was ever likely to be a problem but just the amount of time and money she felt she'd wasted made the conversation difficult. She was well versed in the student way of life long before she became one thanks to Rachel.
Things weren't always plain sailing for the golden couple though. As her friends headed through their final year uncertainty about the future became a destabilising factor. Then there was the offer of a lifetime made by that smarmy Mikey Millions to Rachel. Rachel was in the midst of rehearsals and Santana had exams fast approaching so she was content to put Rachel's sudden tenseness down to poor play rehearsals until Quinn had phoned and asked if she thought something was going on with Rachel. "Like what?" Had been her snapped response instantly regretted as a small voiced Quinn had finally managed to put into words her fear that maybe Rachel was interested in someone else as she'd cancelled her weekend visit stating a sudden extra rehearsal. She'd never done that before - it was unheard of - and besides she was hardly texting and kept skype interactions to minutes rather than hours. Could Santana check whether the rehearsal story was true? Did Santana think...Was it possible that..Was Rachel being a bit distant with her too? Santana had confidently asserted Rachel was under pressure about the play even as she realised Rachel had been oddly distant and uncommunicative and a sudden flashback to how Rachel had been around 'Vicki the wonderful' began to nag at her. Of course Santana would check about the rehearsal but they both knew Rachel wouldn't and indeed couldn't lie. That was why Quinn was worried, Rachel was saying very little. As soon as Santana had ended the call she'd rung Erica, one of her and Rachel's mutual friends, to ask if she'd be seeing Rachel on the Saturday on the rather flimsy pretext that she wanted her to pass on a message. Erica had immediately mentioned seeing Rachel the next day at rehearsal and by the way was everything all right with Rachel as she'd been preoccupied all week, not to mention how exhausted she looked. Santana could feel the tendrils of fear beginning to take hold; her immense relief at the extra rehearsal was quickly tempered by the realisation that even the usually oblivious Erica had noticed a difference in Rachel. Quinn's response to the news of the rehearsal was more muted - something was going on with Rachel, neither of them knowing what it was could hardly be called reassuring. Santana didn't share Erica's extra comments and worked hard to remain positive in light of Quinn's pessimistic assumptions. It was too late to do anything that night so Santana decided she maybe needed to gate crash the rehearsal tomorrow and find out just what the hell was going on.
Quinn's unexpected arrival changed her plans so she met a sombre tired looking Quinn at the station and then spent a dispiriting afternoon trying to avoid speculating about what might be happening with Rachel. Eventually she left Quinn outside the venue of Rachel's rehearsal with strict instructions to turn up on Santana's doorstep regardless of the time if she needed to. She then spent a restless night wondering whether Quinn's lack of appearance was a good thing or not before receiving a summons to brunch the next morning. Rachel had exciting news Quinn had said unexcitedly and then Rachel recounted the conversation offering her everything she'd ever dreamt of since the age of four years old the only catch being she couldn't be seen to be gay and needed a celebrity boyfriend. Santana initially couldn't see the problem but then Rachel's inability to lie and Quinn's inability to control her jealousy came to mind. Quinn was ominously quiet before sudden excusing herself and rushing off, classic Quinn signs of an impending emotional breakdown. Santana explained patiently to an over tired somewhat bewildered Rachel that while she was trying to find a way have her cake and eat it, Quinn's conclusion was that Rachel and her needed to split up. Rachel was horrified, that was never going to be an option, how could Quinn even think that? She needed to find Quinn and talk to her or ...Santana could almost hear the cogs turning in Rachel's head...maybe Quinn just didn't feel the same way she did? Perhaps it was best if she just gave Quinn some space? Santana could feel the misunderstandings and insecurities gathering pace so she hurried Rachel into following Quinn insisting they talk to each other rather than guessing what the other was feeling because she didn't have the emotional energy needed to deal with the pair of them. Okay so maybe some swear words had inadvertently slipped out as she said it, and english ones at that, but she'd been frustrated at them both. Once Rachel was safely on a train Santana switched her phone off, began some Internet research about gay stars (surely not everyone was a closeted gay as the first few sites suggested?) and gay-friendly agents and hoped Rachel had developed coherent thought and speech on her way to New Haven.
Santana's Internet trolling was interrupted hours later by a Skype from Quinn and she hesitantly opened the window to find two positively beaming faces looking at her and Quinn excitedly gabbling that Rachel had asked her to marry her and she'd said yes. The two were so excited and wrapped up in each other that she hoped her "Holy shit" initial response went unnoticed, no such luck. Rachel leaned towards the screen and suggested she and Santana needed to discuss her declining standards of conversation in the near future. Her "Oh fuck " had Quinn laughing and Rachel frowning so she distracted them by expressing how pleased she was they were engaged and tried not to look too surprised when told the wedding would quickly follow graduation. She wasn't surprised when they mentioned they hadn't told the parents although the Berrys would be a push over after all they had agreed previously to Rachel marrying that oaf Finn.
Events moved quickly from then as she helped Rachel interview possible agents, helped Quinn try and soothe over the Berry Dads ruffled feathers and even managed to pass her end of year exams amid all the drama. She had her quietest ever three weeks in the city as Quinn and Rachel swanned about Europe and then her two best friends were both in the city with her, their vague future plans making her feel like the responsible one of the group. It seemed like a blur now, the transition of Rachel and Quinn from cash starved paupers into successful, and in Rachel's case famous, well-off women. Santana secretly enjoyed following Rachel's unofficial fan pages, posting a mix of accurate and misleading information and amused and oddly flattered when she appeared as a possible Rachel love interest. Videos of New Direction performances had made it onto the web and much debate on the more extreme fan sites went into who Rachel actually looked at on her team. Santana was surprised to find how often Quinn was on the end of those gazes so she spent her time online arguing it was Finn - 'that leaden lump that could neither dance nor sing' as she'd call him.
Santana had alerted Rachel's team to that damned kissing video when it suddenly appeared. She watched her friends suddenly become besieged in their own home and anywhere they went. She could see the effort it took for Rachel to plaster a smile on her face as she forced herself to attend her regular gym sessions. She tried calming Quinn as stories emerged about Rachel trying to avoid being thrown off set due to her Diva behaviour and hence her 'sucking up' to the director. Santana couldn't even bring herself to laugh at the website with the strapline 'The Kiss That Shocked America' having a link to the video and a couple of blurry stills of the kiss, just in case any reader was unsure what it was they were shocked about. Chat boards debated publicity stunt for a dire film, true love - with photos of Quinn and Rachel in the same frame deemed as proof and 'manip' - the poor quality video was an attempt to mask the video editing - theories. The gloomy mood in the Berry-Fabray household was proving difficult to shift but once the Suzy Pepper kiss and tell exclusive hit the press a whole new edge to the atmosphere in the house took hold. Quinn's protestations that of course she didn't believe a word just lacked the right amount of conviction as long buried high school insecurities began to reappear. So Santana made a joke about it to show Quinn how ridiculous she was being only to be slapped and not particularly gently by an annoyed Rachel. She'd braved another slap by daring to suggest to Rachel once it was just the two of them in the room, that maybe that story was playing on Quinn's mind even if they both knew that she'd only had eyes for Quinn at high school.
A few days later she'd returned to find a much more relaxed household and a blush on Quinn's face when she asked if Rachel was bouncing back sufficiently to play the piano and sing. Quinn's comment that Rachel had been playing and she'd been the one singing was just a little on the TMI side. They'd decided to walk to a nearby restaurant for an evening meal and tried to ignore the hordes of men who ran around them taking photos and shouting questions. Suddenly Rachel was tripped over and fell with an exclamation of pain, Santana was insensed and as Quinn rushed to Rachel's aid she rushed to tell the parasites in front of her exactly what she thought of them. Unfortunately she didn't have time to engage her brain and as they sat afterwards in a hastily organised car enroute to a private clinic the realisation of what she'd said hit her. She'd just announced to the world that Rachel and Quinn had been married for a long time - she'd just outed them to the entire world. She'd done a Finn, only to a global audience jeopardising not only her best friends careers but on a minor scale probably ruined her friendship with them too. Santana remembered crying, apologising and swearing as Quinn tried to deal with a physically hurt Rachel and an emotional distraught her. No wonder Quinn had sent her home, once she'd confessed to her almighty fuck-up. Quinn had been icily calm and Santana knew that meant internally she was seething. Claire had accompanied her home and then stayed with her briefly to calm her down and send her to bed. Not that Santana could sleep even after Rachel's phone call to reassure her everything was fine and she wanted to see her soon. Rachel was softly spoken and obviously on the verge of tears and her easy forgiveness of Santana made her feel even worse. She didn't even have the energy to mount a defence for her actions on line as the videos of her outburst went viral with comments split evenly between whether she was the best kind or worst kind of friend. At least she now had some idea of why other students had found her so intimidating at school as she watched her insensed self glare furiously, bristling with barely contained anger, at a huge swarm of men, unfortunately she couldn't terrify the world into silence.
Claire suggested the next morning that she should go away for a week as once she was identified all the other residents in her apartment block wouldn't appreciate the media invasion and nor would the hospital she worked at. Santana worried that she should stay to support her friends or maybe they didn't want her there? Claire had told her to pull herself together and that Rachel and Quinn didn't have time to deal with her emotional baggage on top of their own problems and that unless she had some magical way of stopping Rachel's career from crumbling round her ears then she needed to suck it up and do what she was told. Claire had stopped abruptly and then apologised profusely. This was a very stressful time for everyone and Rachel and Quinn would be pleased to know Santana wasn't caught up in the midst of it. Santana apologised for her big mouth and then spent the next few hours turning her flat upside down in search of her passport and organising leave from work before finally heading off for a week in London.
She watched the Quinn and Rachel interview in a comfortable but somewhat expensive London hotel room. Rachel's understated surprise at all the interest was masterful and Santana sat wiping her eyes as she watched them maintain a dignified front. God she loved those two. She spent quite a lot of time on the phone talking with Claire, Rachel or Quinn. Claire giving her the unedited version of events, Rachel being overly sure everything was going to be fine and Quinn wavering between optimism and despondency. She extended her stay for another week before returning back home to her treasured anonymity and fierce hugs of her best friends. Gradually the requests for interviews died down and she had the pleasure of watching Rachel's first night back on Broadway after all the upheaval. Rachel was amazing and as Santana stood whistling and applauding, she realized nothing and yet everything had. The standing ovation for Rachel that first night probably counted as one of her favourite moments of their lengthy friendship, topped only by Quinn's face when Rachel made that Oscar speech.
Perhaps then, it had all been worth it. She and Claire had grown closer and eventually agreed to explore that aspect of their relationship. Rachel allowed a bit more of her wit to seep into her interviews and she and Quinn were so much more relaxed when out and about. Santana had started the 'for a lesbian' joke that ran between them after Rachel expressed her fear of her name never being mentioned without a reference to her sexuality. "Rachel that was amazing" pause, "for a lesbian" never ceased to amuse them, they would read reviews of Rachel's or Quinn's work aloud inserting the sentence for maximum effect and Rachel insisted on introducing her as "my friend Dr. Santana Lesbian Lopez" – fortunately they were few opportunities for Rachel to do that although sometimes Santana found she needed to stop herself from slipping a 'lesbian' into her name when introducing herself at medical conferences.
The cab began to approach the entrance to McKinley high school and Santana drew in a deep breath. They had all come such a long way, both literally and metaphorically. She couldn't help hoping that Finn would be present just so she could see if he really was as gormless as she remembered. A slightly mischievous part of her was holding out for an unlikely appearance by Suzy Pepper although she couldn't decide whether Quinn or Rachel's reaction would be the more fun to watch. The cab drew to a halt and she could see that Rachel was beaming as she opened the door.
"How do I look?" asked Rachel as she straightened her dress after leaving the car.
"Stunning" replied Quinn as Santana added "for a lesbian."
They shared a laugh and then began to head to the Sports hall - what she and Quinn, out of Rachel's earshot, called 'Rachel Berry's FU Reunion Tour' was now in town.