I know it's probably riddled with mistakes but I don't have the time to check thoroughly thanks to uni. I do apologise. It annoys me so it must annoy you, but I hope it's better than no upload.

Thanks for the feedback though. You guys make my day! Hope you enjoy...

"You're just telling me what I want to hear." I say coldly.

"But I wouldn't lie to you about this." Replied Gaius sounding completely appalled.

"How can I trust you?"

We face each other, me looking down on him and still shouting though I know I should have no quarrel with Gaius. But obviously he is still loyal to the man I considered to be my Father. I can't get my hopes up because if I do and he's lying and Merlin really is... I don't know what I'll do.

He sighs before leaning closer and lowering his voice, "Because Merlin does."

I cannot think of a single response so Gaius continues.

"And I would hardly be trying to stop you from - presumably - killing your father if he had killed Merlin now would I?" He whispers, "Heaven forgive me... but I'd be joining you."

Blinking in shock as his words resonate, I clear my throat and try to keep my own voice at an even level because I'm breaking. You can't just go from your world ending to this. I think I must be losing my mind. This is just too much. "If you speak the truth then why isn't he here?"

"Why isn't he here?!" Repeats the old man like I'm an idiot child, "Because the King is furious with him, that's why!"

"But - I - WHAT?!" Nothing is making sense to me anymore and I really don't know how much more I can take.

Gaius does his famous eyebrow raise, looking utterly exasperated. "Come to my chambers and you'll understand everything."

Suddenly I'm the one who is scurrying after Gaius, incensed because he is apparently ignoring me.

"I don't see why I should -"

"Ssh."

"But why can't you just -"

"Not here."

"But where is -"

"Just follow me."

I actually growl.

"Can't you wait just one more minute?"

This is absurd. I feel like screaming at him, pent up hysteria threatening to overspill. Of course I can't wait. If he really is alive then... I stop. Cold.

Eventually Gaius notices his angry shadow is gone.

"Sire?"

"Is he alive?" I mumble.

"Pardon?"

Aaah! "Is he alive?" A blank look. "Is Merlin alive - is he really alive?" Now there's the hysteria. I'm shaking him in my haste.

He looks at me as though I am crazed before gasping out, "Yes I said so didn't I?"

"Where?"

"Where we were going!"

I release his shoulders and run flat out because I suddenly know it's real - it has hit me and I have to see him before I lose this feeling. Before the dream can disappear. But this castle seems too big and the halls too crowded but still I fly up stairs and wind down passages until...

"Merlin!" I burst through the Physician's doors and for one heart stopping moment he isn't there. He's not there and I am frozen in complete despair. I am lost.

Then someone comes down the stairs at the far end of the room. Merlin's stairs.

Merlin.

Now either one of two things happen.

In scenario one I repeat his name constantly out loud till it loses all meaning, but it doesn't need meaning because I have him. I race towards him before he can disappear and I literally crash into his arms. He would stagger backwards but miraculously regain his footing. And this time he actually holds me back and it is I who is trembling as I bury my head in his chest.

Scenario two: I imagine all of this. I ache to touch him but force myself to surpress my feelings and be calm. The consequential pain is almost as bad as losing him in the first place but I do it because I have to.

This is what really happens.

We face each other, a room apart and are locked in each other's gaze. I can feel his heartbeat from so far away and I tell myself this is enough. It has to be enough.

He is scruffy and small and very, very tired. And incredible. Incredibly alive.

"Merlin." Once. Once has to be enough as well.

"Hi Arthur." He replies casually, taking small steps towards me as I remain rooted to the spot. He looks cautious and his voice has the same tremble as mine.

"You're very hard to kill aren't you?" I can't believe I said that! How can I possibly joke about that? How could I when I felt so... I'm sick. Sick and a fantastic liar.

"Tell me about it. Might be because I work for a prat." He says, still looking nervous for some reason I don't understand.

I let out a ridiculous burst of laughter. Well I thought it was laughter, but before I know it, I am crying. Actually crying. Merlin blurs which is shameful because minutes ago I thought I would never see him again and now I'm wasting the sight but it's all too much. My feelings: confusion, pain, relief...

My legs give out but soft and gentle arms hold me in place and I'm suddenly leaning against Merlin, letting it out. I do tremble. I do bury my head in his chest. He smells of hay and soap and god-knows-what else that makes him Merlin. I sob as silently as I can and his hands are in my hair as I claw at his back, moulding myself so that I am as close to him as can be possible.

"I-I don't know what I would have d-done if..."

"Shhh it's okay, it's alright." He soothes, one hand stroking my hair, the other rubbing my back. My breath hitches and I struggle to breathe, caught between tears and hysterical laughter because it's so bizarre but it's real and I'll take it. I'll stay this way with him forever.

But imagine if Gaius or my Father walked in.

I jerk away so suddenly that Merlin looks shocked, hurt even.

Before I can stop myself I hit him in the chest. It's a feeble punch but he gasps and gives me a wounded look.

"What was that for?!" his voice reaches the highest octaves.

"You!" I suck in a harsh breath and launch, "I thought you were DEAD! You left me! You let me wake up all alone and I thought you were gone you idiot - you absolute -"

Then there was some colourful swearing on my part, and Merlin's annoyingly beautiful eyes grew wider and wider as he hunched away.

"Do you have any idea what I've been through for you? Do you have any idea how I felt? How I feel?!"

He opened his mouth a few times; looking agonised but wisely chose to say nothing.

"I was alone!" I shout it, the last of my energy leaving me. I hunch over, trying to hold myself together, panting as though I had run a race. "You left me all alone."

My voice breaks and I raise my hand to brush away my furious tears. Merlin beats me to it. His hands are gentle, timid - afraid of my reaction. But I have nothing left to give.

"I'm so so sorry." He whispers. He moves to take his hand away but before he can, I press his palm against my cheek, holding it there.

I close my eyes briefly and he continues, "I couldn't get anywhere near you. Uther seems to think I bring out a bad side of you, even if he no longer thinks I'm a sorcerer anymore." He smiles sadly, "Can't imagine what he means."

I smile too as the pain finally fades away, "Yeah, I'd throw myself on to bonfires for anyone."

He takes his hand away but leans his forehead against mine. "Why did you?"

I regretfully pull away, "Hmm?"

"Why did you do that for me?" he looks even more nervous.

I study him seriously for a moment before saying what I have to. "You know we can't go there Merlin."

The silence is uncomfortable and we can't quite meet each other's eyes.

I clear my throat. "Anyway, I should be asking the questions. And for starters how the hell did you survive?" Then after remembering what he had said earlier, "And what do you mean, 'you can't go near me?'"

"It was Gwen and Morgana." Merlin smiled happily, "They said they didn't put it there, but apparently they conveniently found all this stuff just lying about in Aranis's room."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Stolen stuff. The usual, your money, cutlery... Uther's underwear..."

"What?!"

"Well hell hath no fury than a woman scorned."

"Tell me about it..." I laugh.

"He's in the dungeons. And since he can't be trusted, my conviction was overturned in the nick of time." He paused, "Funny how it always works out that way..."

"But what about us?" I stammer struggling to rephrase, "I-I mean, you not being allowed near me."

All of the good humour faded from his face. "I've been sacked. I'm not even supposed to be near you now. I think Gaius is covering..."

"Well that's gotta change." I say simply, "Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless..." I gabble out the last bit, "You don't want to serve me anymore?"

"Arthur?" He grinned, "Don't be a prat. It's like I've said before. I'm happy to serve you. Till the day I die."

His words thrill and horrify me in equal measure(okay maybe I lie, I'm slightly more thrilled), "Don't say that. You can't die. Not again."

"I never have." He replies moving closer, "Well, except for the poison flower thingy. That was bad."

I shudder at the memory. "Don't." I'm not sure of what I'm protesting about anymore. All I know is he's too close as he shyly rubs my arm.

I can't think straight and we're impossibly close.

"Merlin?" A whisper.

"Yes?"

Time to break the spell.

"Why did I really fall asleep on the pyre?"

Dun dun duuun!

:P