Chapter 4

There is one more day until Christmas and Theodore and Jeanette were both getting anxious, but for two different reasons. Theodore was excited, because he was meeting "Mandy" tomorrow. Jeanette, on the other hand, was very nervous, because she was going to tell Theodore the truth tomorrow. She was pacing in her room, stopping every once and awhile to look at her phone. One time, she picked up the phone, only to put it back down. She was debating with herself on whether or not she should tell Theodore today and save him the embarrassment. She sighed as she dropped her phone on her bed once again.

Just then, someone knocked on her door and then opened it. It was Mrs. Miller. "Jeanette, I need to talk to you for a minute," she said.

Jeanette nodded and Mrs. Miller walked in and closed the door. "Is everything ok?" Jeanette asked.

Mrs. Miller smiled and nodded. "With me, yes. With you, I'm not exactly sure," she said.

"What do you mean?" Jeanette asked.

Mrs. Miller sat on Jeanette's bed. "I can tell something's been bothering you lately," she said. Jeanette sighed and nodded. Mrs. Miller patted a spot beside her and Jeanette sat down. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jeanette was quiet for awhile. Then she asked, "Have you ever wanted to tell someone something so badly, but was scared of how they would react?" Mrs. Miller nodded and Jeanette looked at her. "I like Theodore so much, but I know how he feels about me, so now I'm scared to tell him."

"How does he feel about you?" Mrs. Miller asked.

Jeanette smiled a bit. "He said he loves me," she started.

Mrs. Miller smiled. "Well, that's go-"

Jeanette's smile faded almost as soon as it arrived. "Like a sister," she said bluntly.

Mrs. Miller's smile faded a bit. "Oh, well…he still loves you," she said in attempt to cheer Jeanette up.

Jeanette groaned. "Mrs. Miller."

Mrs. Miller chuckled. "I'm sorry, Jeanette. I'm just trying to make you feel better. But, hey, just because you know how Theodore feels about you, doesn't mean you still can't tell him," she said.

Jeanette looked down. "Yeah, I know, but I don't think Theodore wants a girlfriend. Besides, he told me that it could ruin our friendship if we started dating and he doesn't want to do that."

"Maybe he feels that way because he doesn't know how you feel about him. So, tell him, and maybe things will work out in your favor," Mrs. Miller said.

Jeanette just nodded.

Mrs. Miller nodded as well. Then she asked, "Now, what's this I hear about Theodore going on a blind date?"

Jeanette looked up at her. "Who told you that?" she asked.

"I heard Eleanor and Brittany talking about it," Mrs. Miller said.

Jeanette shook her head. "He's not going on a blind date. He thinks he's going on a blind date with a girl named Mandy. He thinks he's going on this date, because I made him think he's going on this date." She was quiet for a moment. Then, she said, "There is no Mandy. I made her up so he wouldn't figure out that I liked him."

Mrs. Miller shook her head. "Jeanette," she started.

"Please don't tell me how stupid it was. I've heard it from everyone else, I really don't want to hear it from you," Jeanette said.

Mrs. Miller sighed. "I'm not going to criticize you, because I know you don't need that. Just…just make sure you know what you're doing," she said.

She patted Jeanette's knee, got up, and left the room. Jeanette lay back on her bed. 'She's right,' she thought. 'Maybe I should tell Teddy how I feel about him. But then there's a possible chance he'll reject me. At least he'll know.' Here she was again; debating with herself. Then, suddenly, it was like she had an epiphany. A huge smile appeared on her face as she gasped and quickly sat up. She ran over to her closet and hurriedly put on her shoes. Then she threw on a jacket and sped out of her room.

She ran downstairs and past all the odd stares her sisters were giving her. "I'll be back soon!" she yelled as she ran out the front door. Brittany and Eleanor just looked at each other, while Mrs. Miller smiled slightly and nodded her head.

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Jeanette ran through the dark night to the Sevilles' house. She could've drove, but her mind was just on Theodore. She ran up the front steps and started rapidly knocking on the door. A moment later, the door opened and she almost hit Dave in the face. He dodged her fist just in time.

"Sorry," she apologized.

Dave blinked a few times before asking, "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

Jeanette stepped in the house. "I really need to talk to Theodore right now. Is he home?" she asked.

Dave nodded. "Yes, he's…" he trailed off, seeing that Jeanette had already taken off upstairs. He just sighed and shut the door.

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Jeanette started banging on Theodore's door. She heard him say, "Alright, alright, I'm coming." She kept knocking. Just then, Theodore said, "I'm not opening this door until you stop banging on it." Jeanette dropped her hand and a slightly annoyed Theodore opened the door.

His annoyance faded when he saw her. "Oh, Jeanette, it's-" He was cut off by her hugging him. He stumbled back into his room, but he didn't fall. He hugged her back. "Um, Jeanette, is everything okay?"

"No, everything is not okay," she said. "I have something I need to tell you something."

Theodore closed his door with his foot and Jeanette still didn't let go. Theodore walked backwards to his bed and sat down. He let Jeanette sit on his lap. "Okay, tell me what's wrong," he said.

Jeanette let go off his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and she wrapped her arms around him. She took a deep breath. 'Alright, Jeanette, do it now,' she thought. She slowly let it out and said, "You're not going on the date tomorrow."

Theodore kind of pouted. "Why? Did she cancel?" he asked.

Jeanette sighed. "No. You were never going on the date in the first place."

"What are you talking about?"

Jeanette suddenly jumped up and Theodore stared at her, a little caught off guard. "Theodore, there is no date! There is no Mandy! I made her up!" she exclaimed, a little annoyed by how slow Theodore was catching on.

He was quiet for a moment and Jeanette could tell he was a little confused and hurt. "Why?" he asked.

Jeanette calmed down and looked down. "So you wouldn't know that it was me that liked you," she said. Theodore was quiet again. This time, much longer than the first. Jeanette looked up at him. "Say something, please," she said.

Theodore was quiet for a little while longer. Then he asked, "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Jeanette sat down beside him. "Because I knew how you feel about me and about us and I was scared."

"Scared of what?" Theodore asked.

"Rejection." Jeanette looked down.

Theodore was quiet once again. Then he sighed and took Jeanette's hands. "Jeanette," he started and she looked at him, "I meant what I said and I still feel that way. I really don't want to risk jeopardizing our friendship."

He paused and sighed. Before he could start again, Jeanette pulled her hands out his grasp and stood up. He looked up at her. "Jeanette," he started.

She shook her head and turned her back to him. "This was the exact thing I was afraid of," she whispered after a moment. Then she faced him. "I don't know why I listened to Mrs. Miller and told you. Of course you would reject me," she said.

Theodore sighed. "Jeanette, I'm not-"

"You would want to date a girl like Mandy, wouldn't you?" Jeanette asked.

"No," Theodore said firmly.

Jeanette nodded. "So, now you're lying to me?"

Now, Theodore was irritated. He stood up. "I'm not lying and if anyone should be mad, it should be me. You've been lying to me this whole time when all of this could've been avoided. All you had to do was tell me, but no, that's just too much. You'd rather lie to me and jeopardize our friendship to cover up a secret as small as this one. So, right now, you don't have a right to be angry," he snapped.

Jeanette glared at him. "Oh, I don't have a right to be angry? I just got rejected for following my heart and I don't have a right to be angry?!"

Theodore rolled his eyes. "Jeanette, I've been trying to tell you and if you would listen to me-"

"No, you listen," Jeanette said and Theodore scowled, but stayed quiet. "I didn't come here to listen to you lecturing me about how what I did was stupid. I know it wasn't the smartest decision I've made, but I panicked, and don't lie and say you wouldn't have done the same thing. At least I told you before you showed up to the park looking like an idiot. You can't be mad at me for loving you so much that I didn't know what to do."

Theodore's scowl faltered and now he just felt bad. "Jeanette," he started.

She shook her head and took a step back. "Don't try to apologize to me now," she said. "I beat myself up everyday, debating on whether or not I should tell you. I wanted to, but I was so scared of how you react. Now, I wish I didn't tell you, because now I see how you feel about all this." She shook her head and Theodore stayed quiet. She looked at him. "Don't you have anything to say?" she asked.

Theodore turned his head to the side. "I think you should go home now. It's getting late," he said after a moment.

Jeanette's jaw dropped and her eyes widened in shock. "Theodore!" she exclaimed, amazed that he was just kicking her out.

He looked at her. "Just go, Jeanette, because if you stay, it's just going to result into more arguing and I don't want that. So, please leave," he said.

Jeanette stared at him for a minute before she stormed out off his room. Theodore sighed and sat down on his bed. He put his head in his hands and let out a breath.

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Jeanette walked home, hugging her body trying to keep warm. She was trying so hard not to cry, but didn't succeed. Tears slid down her cheeks as she thought back on what happened with Theodore.

'…I meant what I said and I still feel that way…'

The look on his face when he got mad at her…

'…You've been lying to me this whole time…'

How she felt when he'd rejected her…

'…I just got rejected for following my heart and I don't have a right to be angry?!...'

And how she felt when he got mad at her…

'…You can't be mad at me for loving you so much that I didn't know what to do…'

What hurt most is when he kicked her out…

'…Just go, Jeanette…'

She found herself crying even harder. She ran up the steps of her front porch and sat on the swing. She pulled her knees to her chest and cried in them. She was crying so hard that she didn't hear the front door open or someone sit beside her. She looked up when she felt them put their arms around her. She saw that it was Brittany holding her and Eleanor was standing in front of them, looking at her, concerned. She continued to cry on Brittany's shoulder.

Brittany rubbed her hair and whispered soothing words into her ear. Eleanor sat down on the other side of Jeanette and started rubbing her back. Jeanette didn't how much longer she cried, but she did know her sisters stayed with her the entire time. She sat up and lowered her feet to the ground. She looked at Brittany, and then at Eleanor, who wiped away the remaining tears. Jeanette let out a shaky sigh and laid her head back on Brittany's shoulder. She felt Eleanor lay her head on her shoulder and Brittany lay her head on her head.

Jeanette took a hand in each of hers and sighed again. She was glad she had her sisters with her. She knew they would always be there for her and that's all she wanted right now. She raised both of their hands to lips and kissed them. Then, she whispered, "Thank you." They sat there a little while longer before going in the house and getting some much needed sleep.