Chapter 3

Bella Cullen's Point Of View. (Charlie's house.)

The morning had arrived the most miserable day of my life so far. I could not have been more upset, frustrated and angry all at the same time than at the moment then I have been in my entire life. I was going to lay my first and only love to rest.

I saw that it was raining outside kind of fitting. I'm so confused with everything that has been going on, I have cried my eyes out, till I think the tears have stopped but they haven't.

I dragged my sorry ass out of my bed, stood in front of my closet and just stared. I was knocked out of my state when there was a knock on my door from Charlie telling me I had mail.

I saw the one letter that was addressed to me and immediately knew it was from. But how?

As soon as I knew who it was from the tears started to come freely and I just couldn't stop. How could this be a letter from him? He has been gone for a week and...No, no, no, no it must be addressed wrong.

I then at that point read the envelope at the front and it said...

Bells Cullen,

34 Evergreen Road,

Forks, Washington, United Stated of America.

It was addressed to BELLS only Edward ever called me that. It couldn't be from him, could it?

I slowly turned the envelope over and see that yes it is from him. It has our house address as return to sender.

It was getting hard to breathe at the moment, what could he have to say to me?

I slowly moved my shaking right hand to the envelopes seal.

I can't open the envelope he used that, he used it to encase the letter that was meant for me, it will be ruined. He touched it. He took time to make it like it is.

I was fighting an inner demon saying by opening the envelope I'm damaging the memory of Edward, but this is ridiculous right? I mean it is just an envelope. But then again it is not just an envelope it is an envelope that Edward had touched, and now he's gone.

I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere so I just placed the envelope on the bed just wanting to think about if I could open it or not.

I walked into the bathroom. Sitting in the counter was a Black outfit that's customary at all funerals as a sign of respect.

Edward hated the colour Black on me. He loved the warmer weather and he always requested that I wear a summer dress, to show off my 'amazing' legs.

I wasn't there for anyone else today. I was there for Edward. If he hated Black on me then why do something that he hates, on the day that he's supposed to be remembered. I have to show him that I did listen to him that I did understand him.

I walked back into my room and stood in front of my closet and there it was the dress Edward gave me.

(Flashback.)

"Bella…Bella are you even listening to me?"

Alice was trying to get me to do something. But whatever that something was I had no idea.

I stared at her as if she had just spoken another language.

"Well I take that as a no." she mumbled under her breath.

"I don't get what the big deal is. We are just going to see my mum."

"Bellaaaa it's hot in Florida and you need pretty cloths like, dresses and skirts and sandals and…"

I kind of tuned out after that because either way Alice would get her way and buy the clothes any way. Sometimes I even wonder why I even try to fight her about this.

"BELLA." She snapped at me. "We need to move it now if I want to get everything for you, in time for your trip."

She grabbed my wrist and pulled me out my bedroom door, down the stairs. Yelled over her shoulder goodbye to Charlie as we rushed out the door.

As we had successfully got into her canary yellow Porsche and sped through town on our way to Port Angeles.

We ended out the front of Meyer's. As soon as we walked in the sale ladies where all over us, asking if we wanted help. I saw Alice step to the side with one of the ladies, while all the others where annoying the hell out of me. I glanced over to see how Alice was going and she was saying something into the lady's ear.

All of a sudden the lady straightened out and went to the back. Alice come fluttering over to me with a huge smile on her face, this smile was saying 'you're going to love what I have planned' TRANSLATION: I need to find somewhere to hide.

I looked all around the store and there where racks that I could easily reach if I ran, let's just hope that my clumsiness doesn't affect my ability to run in front of everyone.

I saw Alice flitter back over to a new person that had come from the back; I saw this as my opportunity and ran. I saw there was a huge rack of big winter coats on a sales rack; I thought it would be genius to hide behind in it.

I made a little pep whole so I could see the enemy making her moves toward me. She was nowhere to be found, I looked around standing on my tip toes, but it was no good. Why did my best friend have to be so short, this is why I hate going shopping because I always run and hide and she comes out of nowhere and goes –

"BOO BELLA."

"What the heck? Are you trying to send me to an early grave?"

"Bella darling you are way too predictable, there is never any use in hiding from me" she walked away and then turned over her shoulder and shouted "'cause I always win." Then she winked and went back to the sales assistant.

I probably looked like my puppy just died, because I was dragging my feet as I walked over to Alice. She was animatedly talking to the sales assistant as I stood next to her and then she noticed me. FINALLY.

"Bella, so nice of you to join us."

Then out of nowhere she dumps a whole pile of clothes in my arms.

"These are all for you by the way."

"WHAT. Why? Are you crazy?"

"No silly, but follow me I have a surprise for you." She giggled and turned and left. Obviously wanting me to follow her so I did.

She went into a room on the other side of the store and closed the door. I could hear whispers going on; I couldn't exactly open the door since I still had all the clothes pilled on my arms.

"Aliceeee…Aliceeee let me in please…I'm begging you pleaseeee."

I waited to hear anything from the other side of the door just as I was about to dump all the clothes on the floor and rip open the door. I heard footsteps coming closer and closer towards the door.

I was looking at the floor because I didn't want to see the anger in Alice's eyes. The door opened, I looked up to see Edward.

"Hey beautiful, how are you?"

He bent down to brush his soft gentle lips against mine. I forgot where we where and dropped the clothes and threw my arms around his neck. Obviously surprising him with my enthusiasm.

I could hear Alice cursing in the background. Something about that these clothes where ruined and that she would now have to go out and change all the items.

I tried to deepen the kiss with Edward but he gently pushed me back, obviously wanting to look respectable in public especially around all these older women, who would be jealous at all the romantic stuff he does for me.

I whimpered at the loss of contact from his lips. He showed the biggest smile obviously very satisfied that he could turn me into putty with just the smallest moves.

He moved his lips to me ear and kissed the hollow of my neck tenderly and whispered. "It's Okay we can do more of that later."

I could feel my face burn up. I looked over at Alice and she had a knowing smile playing on her lips and she looked away and went up to a sales assistant I didn't even know was there.

"Edward, not that I'm not ecstatic you're here. But why are you?" The smile on his face become much wider than I would have liked but he leaned into me and I honestly thought he was going to kiss me.

He kept coming closer and closer, my heart was beating frantically. But to my dismay he paused with just mere millimetres between our lips, I could feel his hot breath fanning over my face. "I'm here to get you a lovely dress for our date tomorrow."

"Why do I need a dress…I mean we live in Forks and you're telling me that I need to wear a dress…you do realize that I am going to freeze beyond compare…right?"

He started shaking with laughter and to be totally honest I don't know why it was so funny. He wanted me to wear a dress in Forks. Were it doesn't stop raining and is always freezing now I have an idea but in what strange world is it fine to wear a dress when the weather is so bad? "Bells honey…why do you think I am going to be there. I'm going to be your own personal blanket. The one you are going to snuggle up to, when you are feeling cold or scared or just maybe when you want a hug."

The feelings that ran through his eyes where phenomenal and seeing that he cared in that moment was just incredible. All I could do was blush and turn my head and bury it in his chest. He started to rub his hands up and down my back, letting me know that it is was alright, and that he was sorry that I might feel a bit uncomfortable.

Trying to change the subject, something I don't do very well but it seemed to work this time.

"So if we are going to be getting a dress can we get a move on seriously I hate shopping and you should know how much I despise it. Yet here you are, wanting me to go shopping."

"Yep, pretty much. Now come on and move that cute little butt of yours so we can find you a dress. Oh and by the way it's my shout. So do not put up a fight are we clear."

We wiggled his finger in my face and what was I suppose to do just let him pay for a dress and since Alice was here would cost him a fortune and that was not okay with me.

"Edwardy…" insert puppy dog eyes "…you know Alice is going to pick out the dress and it is going to cost way way to much money. You need to save if you want to get your motorcycle."

He looked at me and thought that it would be bad if you continued to fight me about this, so he stopped grabbed my hand and walked me into the clothing area. Once we were in the middle he stopped and spun me around to face the selection of clothing in front of me.

"Pick anything, and if you say one thing about the price, I will take you to the most expensive restaurant with in a 100 mile radius and you won't be able to complain."

I had to nod my head and agree, because he would seriously do that.

We had both looked around through nearly every rack of clothes for as Edward put it 'the dress' and well we had come close to finding it, it never really was 'the dress' though.

We had only a couple more racks to go through so I said to Edward that he should just go through those racks while I finished the rack I was on.

It was hopeless I had looked through the rack many times just making sure I didn't miss any dresses that could be 'the dress'.

I was going through the rack for what felt like the millionth time, when I felt hands clamp over my eyes.

"Guess who? And guess what?"

"Ummmm I don't know is it Edward? And I don't know what?"

"I found you 'the dress'."

He thrusted the dress into my view. It was absolutely perfect. The way the different shades of blue and white mixed together and flowed freely around from the waist band down.

It was amazing. I Got on my tip-toes and kissed his cheek causing him to blush. Edward blushing, I know, not something you seen very often and for it to be caused over shopping as well. Who would have thought?

I cantered over to the dressing rooms and put the dress on. Walked out to meet the stares of my boyfriend, best friend and several sales ladies.

I twirled around so they could see how the free flowing material worked. Yet, they were all still looking at me with mouths a gape. I looked down to make sure nothing was out of place. But nothing.

"Well...is someone going to say something? 'Cause to be honest you guys just gawking at me is making me very uncomfortable."

That seemed to do and it snapped them out of whatever trance they were in. Edward started to walk over to me but was stopped by my best friend who was jumping up and down in front of me.

"OMG...you look...what can I say, you look hot."

Oh god no crap. If she thinks I look like that, crap what does Edward think?

Alice stood back and then Edward took calculated steps towards me, I think he was trying not to fall over. Which would have been very cute.

"Honey, that looks...ummmm wow."

He sounded so unsure of himself.

"So then I take it I don't look like a complete whore then?"

"No you don't look like a complete...yeah. but you look...words won't do you justice."

How adorable, he knows just what to say to make me blush.

I thanked him for choosing such a lovely dress for me and went and changed back into my clothes.

We left the store and that night I had my date with Edward and I wore the dress. He couldn't keep his eyes off of me, a couple of times during the night he had to keep some little 'admirers' at bay. He is so cute when he is all protective of me.

We danced and even though I kept standing on his feet which would stuff the dance up, and the people around us were laughing at me, but none of it mattered I was having the time of my life.

During our dancing we even found 'our' song. It was Joshua Radin's song 'I'd rather be with you'.

(End of Flashback)

I grabbed the dress out of the closet that was the first and last night I wore that dress, I haven't changed that much in the last two years since he brought and plus I want to look nice for Edward, I attempted to curl my hair and everything and I think it kind of worked out. I put on subtle amount of make up on.

I was trying to find my ballet flats that go with the dress, when something shinny caught my eye in the corner of the closet.

It was the locket that I got from my father for my 10th birthday. I fiddled with it in my hand just looking at it. I opened it and in their was a photo of my as a baby in my parents arms, both looking so happy with massive smiles on their faces.

On the other side was a recent photo taken a couple of months ago. The photo was of me and Edward, we were in the park and he had grabbed a flower from one of the plants and placed in my ear. From the angle that the photo was taken you could tell Edward was holding the camera. We were both looking at each other with goo-goo eyes.

I shut the locket and fastened it around my neck. I placed my hand over it, closed my eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm myself. It didn't really help my heart was racing.

Charlie knocked on my door and said it was time to go. I opened the door to tell him I'll be down in a minute when I saw Alice standing in the hallway.

She was wearing the customary clothes, which was black all over. Her hair was pulled up into a nice simple neat bun.

She raised her head and I meet her eyes and they where glossy from her holding in all the unshed tears and I saw her hands were shaking.

As smile played over her lips as she assessed what I was wearing.

"You look stunning...Edward would be speechless if he saw you today."

I forced out a smile for her. Then she ran at me and kept saying that she is sorry over and over again.

I tilted her head so she would look straight in my eyes. "You don't need to be sorry." As hard as it was for me to say the next thing I did anyway. "I know Edward would think I look stunning...but it's just not the same without him saying it...this is his dress anyway."

"I know I was there when he picked it out for you remember." I nodded my head in acknowledgement.

I looked at my desk and saw the letter just sitting on my desk; it was staring at me with its words on the front.

Bells Cullen,

34 Evergreen Road,

Forks, Washington, United States Of America.

"Alice can you please just wait for me downstairs for a minute."

"Sure Bella whatever you need."

With that she walked down the stairs. I heard her talking to Charlie. I couldn't let that bother me at the moment.

I stalked over to my desk and just stared at the letter. I picked it up and held it, looking over it. I walked down the stairs with the letter still in my hand, I was clutching onto it for dear life.

I saw that Alice had seen the envelope and she looked up at me. I held it up and she walked over cautiously and she read over the address and realisation dawned on her face just like me. She knew who the letter was from, from just reading the 'Bells Cullen' part. She knew just like so many others that no one but Edward called me Bells.

She shocked me by just saying very demandingly I must add. "Isabella you better open that letter or so help me."

Okay she may be small but she frightens the hell out of me. I had to oblige. I took the envelope and looked at the front to who it was addressed to, I flipped and looked at the return address.

Very carefully I slid my finger under the flap and started to move it along the top of the envelope opening it.

I took the letter out and saw that it was a single sheet of paper. I unfolded it and read it.

To my dearest Bells,

I'm so sorry you probably hate me so much right now – not that I blame you. I mean I'm not there for you, I'm never going to be there for you ever again. Thinking I'm the one that put the pain on your face, it was your face I saw last, it was you that kept hanging on for so long. I. I wouldn't have been able to have survived that long if I didn't have the picture of you staring at me.

I will never forgive myself for that day, if I didn't want to always give you what you wanted I wouldn't have been there that day. Instead of heading to my funeral, we would of been watching horror movies and making a mockery out them, like we always do.

You have been my everything, my world, my love. I am so very sorry. I hope you can come and talk to me about it. Just please come and see me, even if it be for the very last time, to say you've moved on.

Remember that for the rest of your like I will always, always, always I LOVE YOU. Even in the afterlife you will be the reason I stay, I'll watch over you, to see you grow in to someone incredible. Just so you know once again that the last person I thought of was YOU. The last person who ever made my existence worth wild was YOU.

I want to thank you for everything because without you I wouldn't have had the strength to fight this long but I did and thank you. You have given me the best memories that anyone could ever ask for. I think about all the times we were happy.

I LOVE YOU my beautiful, loving, carefree Bells.

You will forever be in my mind and most of you will always take up my entire heart, whether I see you again or not.

Love always your Edwardy.

I had tears in my eyes and I looked up to see that Charlie had joined Alice in watching me read the letter.

Charlie looked absolutely pained and Alice she looked as if she felt sorry for me. I couldn't take their scrutiny any longer.

I ran I couldn't deal with it and I need out. I need an out NOW.

A/N – Well there you go, the next chapter. As I said it's a short story and there are only 2 chapters left. You may think what I right is a little over the top, but to be honest what in a written story isn't dramatic?

Let me know what you think.

Femexiee