Chapter 4 is up! I didn't get many reviews for the last chapter so I'm not sure if people want me to keep writing – I'm enjoying writing this so if you guys are enjoying reading I'll keep trying to get the chapters up fairly quickly for you.
So please review, I love getting them! Thanks and thank you to those who have reviewed so far :-)
Olivia sprinted out the front doors of the precinct and finally let out the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding in. She felt the cool breeze dance across her face as she made her way towards Central Park again. She had a million thoughts swirling around; thankfully the flashbacks had stopped but she was petrified of what game Lewis was now playing. She couldn't believe he was willing to plead guilty, he regularly bragged about his ability to beat the justice system every time, was he really willing to sacrifice his freedom this time all for the sake of humiliating her? It scared her to the core, he had told her that he would haunt her always and he was certainly living up to his word so far. She could remember him leaning in so close whilst she was lying on the mattress crying, he softly brushed her hair behind her ears and whispered "you have been my favourite conquest; I'll treasure the memories every day". She felt physically sick just thinking about it. She knew she had been careful, she had practised her testimony over and over; she had told the same story to IAB, Barba and her colleagues. As long as she remained focused her lies wouldn't catch up with her.
As he walked into the bar he grunted 'beer' to the bar man and pulled up a stool. A few minutes later his companion joined him, pulled up another stool and ordered a side of fries. It had been 9 weeks since he had seen his old friend from the precinct. He hadn't stayed in touch with any of them except Matt. He had been a mentor to Matt, the kid looked up to him and he knew Matt wouldn't survive in the NYPD if he didn't stick around to provide some kind of guidance. He had told Matt he would continue catching up with him on the condition that no one else could know; to everyone else he had disappeared off the radar. Whether he liked it or not that's the way it was.
"What's up man?" Matt asked.
The kid had definitely got some more muscle happening since he last saw him.
He had remembered sitting in this very bar a week after Olivia's kidnapping, pounding Matt for details. He had wanted to meet Matt earlier, hours after he had seen the news report but he was too angry, he couldn't trust himself around anyone. He had spent hours quizzing Matt on every little detail but most importantly he had wanted to find out how she was, was she coping, was she burying into one of her holes. Unfortunately for him, Olivia had continued to be the private, stubborn woman she always was, maybe even more so after he vanished and Matt hadn't been able to shed much light. Matt had said she seemed to be holding up ok; he had expected nothing less however, that really hurt him hard. Pretending she was ok meant she was suffering more than anyone could know.
"Not much Matt, you're looking good, been hitting the gym?"
Matt laughed "I'm all about the ladies now man, gotta keep in shape, the uniform helps but it's the abs that are under it which counts". They both laughed. They spoke for another twenty minutes or so about work and life before Matt interrupted; "Why don't we cut to the chase hey? I appreciate you hanging with me dude but you've been distracted the whole time! I know you want to help but I also know why you're really here". He lifted an eyebrow but said nothing.
"Nothing's really changed, she's still doing ok" he said hesitantly.
He said nothing, willing him to continue.
"Did you know the trial is in a few days?" He nodded. "I gotta be honest, I think it's getting to her, as you'd expect I guess hey. I saw the creep in the cell after he exposed himself to those two tourists, psycho burnt all his finger prints off, crazy shit man".
He shuddered, he could only imagine what kind of a monster William Lewis was.
"She wasn't in a great way today though".
"What happened" he asked, surprised at how quickly the words left his mouth.
"I dunno, I was processing some stuff for Fin and we could hear her and Barba having a pretty heated conversation. Word is Lewis wants to plead guilty to…." He was scared to mouth the words, he new exactly how his friend would react.
"What? Word is what Matt" he demanded.
"To….raping her". He waited for the reaction.
He clenched his fists so hard, they turned a mixture of red and white in colour. The visions he had of what he would do to William Lewis if he ever got time alone with him would land himself on death row for sure. But this was more than just anger, no this other feeling he had, hurt so much more. It was like his heart had been ripped from his body and stomped on…and stomped on some more…and then some more. He emotionally hurt like hell just thinking of what she would have gone through and what she would continue to be going through, most likely suffering alone. He wondered if she would ever be the same again. Part of him wondered if he turned up on her doorstep tonight if she would confide in him but deep down he knew that was his ego talking, it was wishful thinking, she most likely wouldn't have confided in him when they worked together and she definitely wouldn't do it now; she had probably lost any trust and respect she had for him.
"Is it true?" he asked quietly, so afraid for the answer.
"I don't know Elliott".
Cragen was packing up for the night when he heard his phone vibrate on his desk. He looked down and was shocked to see the sender's name flash up on his screen. Then he felt relief, so much relief. Not only was Stabler alive but he still cared. He had spent lost hours worrying about Stabler after he just up and left with no further communication but he knew if anything would bring him back to the surface it would be this. He could feel a tear sliding down his cheek as he read the message: "I know I have no right to care about her anymore and I know I don't deserve any answers but I need to know…was she raped".
Cragen immediately tried dialling Elliott's number but it went to voicemail. He called back again, imploring him to pick up but understanding it was a wasted effort, he wasn't ready. He wanted to put him out of his misery though so he texted back.
"Good to hear from you Elliott. I know you're not looking for pleasantries but call me some time. Olivia was not raped. I won't lie, she won't through a horrific ordeal but as you know she's a survivor. I knew you'd never stop worrying about her. I promise you I'm looking after her. Take care and call me".
His phone beeped and he saw the name 'Captain' hover on his screen. He held his breath, read the message, read it again and then one more time just to be sure. His worst nightmare hadn't come true, she would be ok; he had worried that if it were true she would never recover.
"Yo Cassidy, you coming for a drink?" It was the end of the shift and the guys were getting ready to head to their local bar. As much as he loved spending time with the guys, he desperately wanted to see his girlfriend; he hadn't stopped thinking about her all day.
"Na, man, have to give it a miss tonight". The guys didn't bust his balls like they usually would, everyone knew what he had going on. In fact after they had all heard the rumours about William Lewis wanting to plead guilty and watching Brian punch a hole through the office wall in a fit of rage they were surprised he hadn't gone home earlier.
"Catch ya tomorrow" he said, walking out of the office.
He stood outside the apartment door for a moment, needing to take a few seconds before he walked into their apartment. He looked down at his broken hand, it hurt like hell but he'd been through a lot worse. In fact hearing the news that William Lewis had decided to plead guilty to raping his girlfriend hurt ten times, no one hundred times more than the physical pain of a broken hand. Whilst Olivia had consistently refused to talk about what William Lewis did to her during those four days she had answered the question that had plagued his nightmares for days during and after her kidnapping; that he had not raped her. He had believed her and once he had that detail hadn't pushed her for anything further, allowing her to talk things through with her therapist. He didn't want to doubt her word now but he was confused and knew that Olivia's pride meant more to her than most things.
As he went to put the key in the lock he promised himself that tonight he only wanted two things; 1) to make sure they didn't fight and 2) to make sure she got at least 4 hours sleep even if it meant him staying up all night, watching over her.
He opened the door and couldn't help but smile when he saw her curled up in her pyjamas on the couch. She looked incredibly beautiful and so peaceful as she slept. He picked up the blanket from the other couch, kissed her softly an on the forehead and lay the blanket over her. He lifted her plate off the coffee table and noticed some papers scattered across it. He quickly glanced at her to check she was still asleep and then shifted the papers slightly so he could read what was on the page of one of them.
ADA: Can you tell us how what happened when you first arrived at the beach house?
Witness: I was still handcuffed to the back car door so I was lying across the back seat and my mouth was still gagged. I couldn't see much from the position I was in but I could hear the car driving along a cobblestone road and I could see the sun had finished rising. The defendant said "yes, this is it, this is perfect" and he stopped the car. He came around to the back door where my head was and opened the car door. My hair was stained to my face from all the alcohol he had poured over my head and he brushed it back behind my ears and I tried to scoot across to the other side of the car. He grabbed my hair and pulled me back towards him and said "now, now, there's plenty of time to play hard to get". He then ran his hands over the front of my top and I tried to push him away with my free hand which wasn't handcuffed. He took the handcuffs off and pulled me out of the car. I fell on the ground and tried to get up but I must have been still woozy from the drugs and alcohol because I found it hard to get up. He laughed and yanked me off the ground and pulled me towards him. He started whispering in my ear.
ADA: What did he whisper Detective Benson?
Witness: He whispered the things he was going to do to me?
ADA: Can you recall the exact words the defendant said to you?
Witness: Yes. He said that he would start slow so that I enjoyed it. He said he would use my own gun inside of me and would then put it in my mouth and pull the trigger".
He couldn't read anymore, he felt like he was going to throw up. He didn't know how Olivia was going to get through this, having to sit in front of the grand jury, the media, the public, her colleagues, friends and him and tell every intimate detail of the hell he put her through. He looked down at her again and had this overwhelming feeling to protect her, more so than he had been doing. He pulled the blanket up higher towards her chin but as he did she stirred and slowly opened her eyes.
I hope you enjoyed, please review, would love any feedback from you guys!