Summary: Kai is forced to eat Cole's cooking.
Requested by RandomDragon.
I own nothing but the story.
"Hey."
Jay tilted his right ear towards the voice that had spoken, but didn't take his eyes away from the television screen as he pounded his thumbs into the controller's buttons.
"Hey," said the voice again, "Hey Jay!"
"What?" he responded, frowning as his avatar was put under siege by a contingent of crocodile men.
It was Cole who was speaking to him, having just walked in and flopped over the back of the couch, "You want to see something gross?"
An explosion knocked Jay's avatar over, dropping his health into the danger zone, "Aaugh—uh, yeah I do, but could you give me like, three seconds while I—argh!" a crocodile man appeared from nowhere, and Jay scrambled to fend him off.
"I can't wait," said Cole, swinging his legs onto the cushion, "We're about to leave."
With an impressive string of combos, Jay was able to pull apart the croc by the jaw. He would have cheered, had Cole not reached over and paused the game.
"Hey!" after what must have been at least two hours of gaming, Jay finally tore his eyes away from the screen.
Cole sat grinning at him from on top of the couch, snarky beyond belief, "Do you want to see something gross now?"
Jay sighed, but relented. His eyes were starting to strain, anyway. As he watched, Cole rolled up the legs of his sweatpants until they bunched past the knees, leaving them exposed. Jay stared at them for a second before shrinking back in horror.
"Ew!"
Cole laughed.
Upon the tops of each knee were several large, multi-colored bruises, starting in part on the shins and ending at the thigh. It was a horrific sight; even after rough battles did their bruises never get this bad. Not only that, but the longer Jay looked, the grosser they became. Some bruises were brown, black, or purple, but many of them had taken on far sicklier colors, like yellow and red and green.
Jay forced a gag before batting them away from his face, "You're disgusting, Cole."
Cole chortled and leaned against the armrest, sliding his pants back down, "I know, they're awful! And they hurt like the dickens, too."
Jay snickered to himself, taking a moment to stretch, "How'd they even get that bad? We haven't had a battle in a long time."
"This is all from ice skating," as if on cue, Cole reached over and pulled his skates out from underneath the sofa.
"But I thought you'd gotten better?"
"I have!" Cole insisted, indignant, "It takes me a while to bruise, so this is all from a couple of weeks ago," he got up and headed for the door, grabbing his favorite beanie and sliding into his shoes, "I can do lots of things now: spins, jumps. It's fun. You should come along, you'd have a good time."
Jay responded with a hum, getting up off the floor and stretching his legs. Boy, did that feel nice after several hours.
"You could come along now if you want," said Cole as he slid on his gloves, "Zane won't mind."
"Nah, man," Jay smirked, "Kai and I are going to see a sci-fi movie down at Ninjago's Imperial Theatre, then we're going to get pizza at the arcade."
"Oh," Cole let out a wry smile, "Yeah, you never do that on a Saturday night."
"Cut me a break," Jay laughed, "I haven't done this with Kai in a long time."
It was true, if Jay was being honest. Since Kai had started seeing Skylor again, the amount of time spent with the ninja of fire had dropped too much for Jay's liking. To counter that, Jay had arranged for this night to be free so he could spend it with his buddy, and Kai had promised he'd come. He'd even crossed his heart, and Jay didn't want to miss this for the world.
"Well, maybe next Saturday," Cole opened the door and smiled, "I gotta go. Have fun tonight. I'll see you later, Blue Bell."
"Boulder brains," Jay dismissed as folded his arms. He certainly would have fun tonight. More fun than he'd had with Kai in a while. Checking the time on his watch, Jay scurried away to search for some pants. He would be late if he didn't hurry.
The movie started at six o'clock on the dot, a decent time for them to watch the movie and still have dinner at a reasonable hour.
It was currently 6:23.
Jay tapped his foot upon the concrete and drummed his fingers against the bench outside the Theatre's entrance. Three missed calls and twenty seven messages later, Kai still hadn't responded. Earlier Jay tried making excuses as to why his friend would be late, but after a while, the simple but all telling explanation of, "Traffic was horrible!" began making less and less sense.
Then again, thought Jay, The traffic excuse only works if you're not walking here. And Kai would definitely be walking.
So where was he?
At first Jay felt hurt. The first night in months they'd the chance to hang out together, and Kai wasn't here? The dirtbag!
But then a terrible thought struck Jay. What if something horrible happened to him that kept him from coming? Jay's stomach dropped. Kai could be in danger! He could be kidnapped or under attack, and unable to join him for a night of fun.
Jay stood. He had to help him. No snake or ghost or skeleton was going to stop Kai from joining him on this overglorified playdate. Looking from left to right, Jay picked a street and started down it, searching the alleys for his missing friend.
At 10:02 Jay sludged through the door to the Bounty's cabin, downtrodden and soaked to the bones. Not only had he spent the better part of the evening scouring the streets on a wild goose chase, but it had started raining on his way back. It wasn't that bad at first, but after ten minutes of light showers, the bottom fell out and the sky was pouring in a matter of seconds. It would figure he was on the other side of the city when this happened.
He was about to announce that Kai was in danger and they needed to gear up immediately, but upon entering the living area, what should he find but Kai himself, slouched across the sofa like a king. In the armchair sat Zane, and on the floor next to him was Cole. All three of their faces indicated to Jay that they knew exactly what was up.
"Jay!" said Kai, sitting up straight, "Are you—erm," he folded his hands, looking him over as the tops of his ears colored red, "I...I am terribly sorry. I completely forgot to meet you tonight."
"Uh, no kidding!" Jay burst, throwing his hands into the air and tossing his ballcap—which, by the way, offered no protection against the rain—to the floor, "Where were you? I thought you'd gotten in trouble! We've been planning this day for the past two weeks!"
"I know!" Kai was tense now, half standing as he pleaded at Jay, "But listen—I was going to, I even told myself yesterday—'Kai, you gotta go hang out with Jay'—but then today I ran into Skylor—"
"You were with Skylor!" anger was replaced by hurt, and Jay dropped into a chair with a noticeable 'squish.'
Cole reached for him.
"And you!" desperate to remain angry, Jay turned to his other teammates, "Why didn't you tell me Kai was here instead of leaving me to run around in the rain?"
"We," Cole glanced at Zane, "We literally just walked in."
Upon further inspection, Jay did see how both boys were also wet and still wearing their footwear, so he opted to look away instead. He didn't want them to see how upset he really was. He also thought he wasn't succeeding in this endeavor.
"Jay," Kai leaned over and peered into his eyes, trying to see if his friend was crying.
Jay turned further away, twisting his neck in an almost comical way.
"I'm so sorry."
Jay's neck muscles strained as they twisted past the point they were supposed to.
"I promise I'll make it up to you."
He shifted to lessen the pull on his neck. Through his peripheral vision, Jay saw Kai give a look to his fellow friends before clasping his hands and sighing.
"Please, Jay, let me make it up to you. I'll do anything!"
That got Jay's attention. He turned and faced his friend, his eyebrow quirked. Anything, he said?
"Anything?"
Kai took a cautious step back, realizing at once the weight of his words. Behind him, Cole grinned and Zane leaned forward, intrigued.
"Almost...anything."
Jay furrowed his brow. He would be the first to admit that there was no way he could stay angry at Kai forever, but he couldn't let anyone know that now. He had Kai in a...unique situation, to say the least. Anything, he'd said. A smile grew across his face. No, he couldn't remain angry, but he could make Kai pay, and Jay wanted to at least do that before letting his brother off the hook.
"Alright, Kai," he drawled, "You want to make it up to me? Here's what you've got to do..."
The smell of something burning escaped the kitchen as Jay walked inside the following day. For once, he welcomed the smell, inhaling as he stepped inside.
"Hello, hello!" sang Jay with a wave and a grin, "How is my happy little chef and his charming assistant?"
Zane looked a little nettled at the term, 'assistant,' but he pulled a thin lipped smile and a thumbs up anyway.
Cole still looked pouty, "Is my cooking really this bad?" he said as he dumped an entire can of lard into a bowl of cherries and ground beef. Zane's fingers twitched.
"Of course not!" Jay walked up and patted his friend on the back, sending clouds of flour floating through the air, "You just keep going, okay?" he looked around, "Are the first few dishes ready?"
Cole nodded, despondent.
"Perfect!" Jay clapped, an evil grin lightening his face, "Zane, prepare your camera, we're going to make Kai pay."
As they left the kitchen Zane leaned in close and said, "I do not know what goes through Cole's head when he cooks, but I hope you appreciate how much I kept quiet in there. Kai's in for a wild ride."
Jay's response was simple and glad, "Excellent."
Kai sat waiting for them in the dining room, looking drop-dead dazzling in his bright yellow cheerleading uniform, an outfit picked out especially for him earlier that morning. Jay laughed upon seeing the look on his face.
"Oh Kai!" he greeted, "Are you ready to eat?"
Zane moved to sit on the opposite end of the table. While he had the decency to look slightly apologetic, even he couldn't stop the little smile of anticipation that graced his face.
"You're filming this?" growled Kai, looking to Jay, "You're a sadist, did you know that?"
He only laughed in response, setting down a series of plates on the table, sliding a small saucer over in the process, "Get ready, Kai! You're in for a treat!" he moved around so he stood over Kai's shoulder, facing the camera, "We'll be starting you off small, of course, with a delectable dish I like to call Pickles and Peanut Butter, a refined sandwich for people with only the grossest of tastebuds!" smiling, he stared down at the top of Kai's head, "So get cracking, my friend!" he punched him in the shoulder.
For the first time, Kai's expression changed from heated to agitated, "Who're you even filming this for?" he poked at the sandwich.
"Stop stalling!" demanded Jay.
Pursing his lips into a disgusted twist, Kai picked up the sandwich, and gave it a sniff. He coughed. Jay knew Kai was never fond of pickles, but ever for the sake of his pride, Kai looked straight at him and took an enormous bite. As he chewed his brow furrowed in thought. Jay leaned forward in anticipation.
"Well?"
Kai swallowed and took a sip from the glass of water Jay let him have in an act of mercy, "It's..." he began, "not as terrible as I thought it'd be. It's actually pretty good."
Jay heard a distinct, "HA!" from behind the kitchen door. He himself was disappointed, but he tried to keep it from showing. Instead he brushed it aside, making the excuse, "Well duh, we're starting you off easy remember? Now eat up so we can get to the really gross stuff."
He received two responses, both expressing the same sentiments. One groan came from Kai, the other from inside the kitchen.
After the peanut butter and pickle sandwich, Jay presented Kai with an infamous dish known as Cole's Waffle Pizza, something that wasn't as delicious as it sounded. The first few times Cole had made this, the team learned quickly that maple syrup and marinara sauce just didn't go together, but either Cole really had improved, or Kai was determined to pull Jay's leg, because the ninja of fire actually seemed to be enjoying the meal.
"Dude!" he exclaimed through a mouthful of waffle, "Cole might need to make this again, because this is great!"
"Oh shut up," Jay pulled the dish away, his upper lip curling. The punishment was not supposed to be this delicious.
The next dish was one of the first of Cole's Jay had ever tried, and was the very meal that convinced him that he never wanted to eat his friend's cooking if he could help it. It was hard to ruin something like stew, but Cole always insisted that Beer and Beef Stew was actually delicious. Jay was sure it could work if someone like Zane cooked it, but Cole always tended to go overboard with one of the key ingredients:
"Argh!"
Jay's face lit up.
Kai grimaced, sucking in his cheeks, "Man, that's bitter!"
"I know," Jay nodded. Beer was like that. The recipe only called for a few teaspoons, at most, but Jay once spotted Cole dumping an entire bottle in the stew, so the taste was out of balance.
The next dish was something Jay knew was terrible, because when it came to spices, Cole had no limits. Why a peach pie would need peppers was a question that bugged him to no end, but today Jay appreciated his friend's bizarre thought process.
Kai not so subtly dabbed his napkin across his forehead, pausing to take a sip of water.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" asked Jay.
Kai only gave him a murderous look and returned to his food. Jay frowned, disgruntled. He knew Kai was angry, but he didn't think Kai would be as angry as he'd gotten, especially since he'd specifically said that he would do anything to make it up to Jay. So he stuck out his lip and pouted, sliding over another dish for his friend to consume.
But was this really making it up? Jay had to admit, the more he watched the less enthused he became. Kai was clearly in pain, Zane had lost his initial interest, and Cole was out of it from the start. Jay scratched at the nape of his neck. Kai managed to push through the dish with little more than a displeased look and some difficulty chewing, and he pulled up the next plate, gagging as he did so.
A stab of pity shot through his stomach, and Jay sighed. It was settled, he'd gotten cold feet. Why was he filming this anyway? That was just cruel. He didn't want to make his friend suffer—well, suffer for a long, long time—but how could he call off the challenge now, without losing any of his pride?
"This tastes worse than Nya's feet," muttered Kai as he swallowed a bite. At Jay and Zane's questioning gaze, Kai answered, "I was five, she was two. She could still stick her feet in her mouth, and I wondered if they tasted good."
"Oh."
A beat passed as Kai picked over his food. Then Jay stood, "I'm going to check on our lovely chef."
He stomped into the kitchen with his shoulders hunched. He'd hoped Cole would notice his obvious distress and make a comment to help him feel better, but it was clear that Cole was ticked with him, as well.
"Don't worry," flouted the ninja of earth, "I'm still cooking my awful meals for Kai to eat."
"Yeah," Jay groaned and leaned in close, "I don't want to do this anymore."
Cole looked at him, expression lightening, "Really?"
He nodded, "I think he's learned his lesson. I don't want to watch him suffer anymore. I was originally planning on going until he threw up, but I don't think I'm cut out for that."
"So tell him!" said Cole, dropping his spatula at once, "Just go up and explain to him that he's done!"
"But then he won't learn!"
"Won't learn what?"
"Not to stand me up!" Jay folded his arms, "We were planning that night for two weeks! And he goes and spends the evening with Skylor? Not cool. If I'm the one who lets him off the hook, what's to stop him from doing it again?"
Cole looked down at his pan of burning zucchini fritters, "You know he's better than that."
Outside, they heard Kai gag as a particularly gross taste or texture fouled his tongue. Jay groaned and sighed, rubbing at his eyelids.
"Look," he said, "Just make him three more meals, as gross or delicious as you like. Then we'll call it quits."
Cole ruffled his brow and looked away, begrudgingly snatching the spatula back up again. Trying not to feel worse than he did, Jay returned to the table, meeting an equally sour expression from an equally—if not more—angry friend. At least now, he noticed, Zane had discreetly put away the camera.
"Okay," he griped, "Lucky for you, you don't have much left. I hope you've learned your lesson."
Kai snorted and turned away.
The next meal was, to Jay's surprise, delivered straight from the kitchen by Cole himself, slapped down onto the table with a bitter force. Then Cole stood back and folded his arms, making no move to return to cooking. Jay chose not to comment on this as Kai took his first bite.
Roughly ten minutes later, Jay was thinking about throwing in the towel right then, when he noticed Kai beginning to act strange. His friend had gone pale, and he was gasping. Jay frowned, then shrank back when Kai coughed and gagged.
Kai stood, holding a hand over his mouth and racing towards the bathroom. A moment later, the sound of retching was heard echoing throughout the Bounty. Jay stood, feeling as though his blood were draining through his ankles.
"Oh dear," said Zane.
"Jay."
At Cole's call, Jay turned to meet a stern gaze and a stiff posture that made him uneasy.
"He's thrown up now. Now go in there and fix this, you loon."
At first Jay wanted to argue, but decided against it. With a nod, he left the kitchen and followed the ninja of fire into the bathroom. Upon seeing his friend, in his too-cute-for-words cheerleading outfit, slumped over the toilet, Jay was struck with guilt, and he hesitated to pat his friend on the back, but eventually gave it two light strokes.
"H-hey there," he said with a nervous giggle, "uh...s-sorry about that. How're you feeling?"
Kai retched some more, spitting into the toilet. Jay swallowed, trying to calm his own stomach.
"I'm so sorry," he said, "I shouldn't have done this. I was just so angry—"
"No," Kai held up a hand and turned his head slightly to the side, "I should have met with you. I should have remembered."
"Yeah, but—"
"Skylor had opened up a new restaurant that day. She was so excited, I wanted to celebrate, and I completely forgot about you," he paused and spit again, "And clearly, I should not have done that."
The baseball bat that had been repeatedly hitting Jay with guilt suddenly had barbed wire wrapped around the end of it, "Oh," he said, "Well, I need to apologize, too. I created this task when I was still angry, and I think I made it unspeakably cruel as a result."
Kai reached up and flushed the toilet, using his skirt to wipe his mouth, "Call it even?" he said, offering a hand to shake.
Jay felt a grin warm his face. He took the hand, "Of course!"
Several hours later, when he alone finished washing every dish they'd dirtied that day, Jay noticed a mysterious black bottle on the counter, half hidden behind the jar of utensils. Tossing aside a dish towel, Jay grabbed the bottle and skimmed the label.
"Syrup of Ipecac," it read. While Jay had never heard of the syrup, he did recall seeing this very item in the team's medicine cabinet next to a bag of cough drops. The bottle was halfway empty and had no business being here, in the kitchen of all places.
Concern growing, Jay called, "Coooole?"
His friend appeared from the living room, confused until he saw the bottle held aloft in Jay's hand. Then his expression changed; he was alert, defensive. His eyes searched Jay's, until he said at last, "Okay, so I might have snuck some vomit-inducing slime into Kai's food, alright? How else was the torture going to end, huh?"
"Cole," Jay started to retort, but turned away, placing the bottle on the counter, "You sly bastard."
"Hey," Cole shrugged, "It worked, didn't it? You and Kai kissed and made up, and you finally got to hang out. It was two birds with one stone!"
Jay shook his head, exasperated but smiling anyway. After Kai finished spewing his guts into the toilet, Jay had gotten him a cool glass of water, which lead to an amiable conversation, which lead again to plans to hang out immediately afterwards. The afternoon was spent playing video games together until Cole came in and made it clear that he wasn't going to be the one who cleaned up the dishes. That brought them to the present, where Jay sat tired, but content.
"Yeah, I guess things did work out okay."
And only Zane was innocent.
FYI, the way the syrup of Ipecac was used in this story was not the way it is meant to be used in real life. Ipecac is an over the counter drug meant to provide a safe way for someone to throw up, should they need to (it is only to be used if one's contracted food poisoning or if you've swallowed some non-corrosive poisons). Not that this story is meant to be taken seriously (I mean, look at the source material), but just know that the way ipecac was used here was very inaccurate and wasn't even ingested correctly.