Even though she felt a bit queasy, Jessi made it through the first couple of periods at school without an issue. Kyle was surprised to see her at her locker on his way to the cafeteria for lunch.
"Jessi, you're still here," he said as he walked up to her.
"I was just about to leave," she told him, closing her locker and walking in the other direction.
"Wait, why don't you come have something to eat before you go?" Kyle said, trying to dodge students in the hallway in order to keep up with her.
"Just thinking about the cafeteria makes me feel sick," Jessi responded.
"Okay," Kyle said, grabbing Jessi's arm so she would stop and look at him. "Just promise me you'll eat something when you get home."
"Sure," she responded. Kyle continued looking at her, knowing that she was not taking him seriously. "I promise."
"Okay," Kyle said with a smile. "I'll see you in a couple of hours."
"Okay."
But Jessi didn't go straight home. After she snuck out of the school, Jessi walked through the park and into the forest. It was one of her favorite places to be. It made her feel safe, and alone. She needed some time alone with her thoughts.
Jessi found the location in the woods where it met the river below. She hesitantly looked at the planks that reached out over the flowing water. This is where she had come when she felt the most alone; like she had nothing to live for at all. Jessi moved closer to the plank, stepping onto it and watching the river flow beneath her.
Being at this location triggered her memory. She remembered how cool the weather was, and the sound of a robin up in the trees. She remembered how her hair rustled in the breeze, and she remembered the pain that she had felt in her heart. It was a pain so intense that the only thing that could possibly make Jessi happy was the thought of dying. To not exist would wipe away all the fear, anxiety, and loneliness. It had seemed so simple at the time.
Jessi sat down on the plank. Tears were now streaming from her eyes as she thought back to that day. Even now she felt alone and unappreciated. Sure, she knew Kyle and the Trager's cared for her, but she would never truly be one of them. She had struggled to make friends after the roof-jumping incident, and Kyle refused to let her do any more tricks for ordinary people. Jessi had been training her abilities. She and Kyle were getting stronger and more powerful than ever, but what was the point when she couldn't use her abilities?
She could feel her baby's heartbeat pulsing through her sore abdomen. It was strange to think that she was carrying a human life. It would become a life that she would have to look after and protect and take care of. While all of the people in Jessi's world failed her, she would have one person looking up to her for guidance. Jessi smiled, and wiped her tears. She sat on the plank for a long time before returning home.
"No, no, I'm okay," Kyle said into his phone as he walked through the door with Josh. "I'll be there tomorrow. I just have to take care of something today. Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Foss."
"I still can't believe you, bro," Josh said, closing the door behind him and throwing his backpack onto the ground.
"Just... keep your mouth shut, okay?" Kyle asked. Josh put up his hands in surrender.
"Fine, but you'll owe me big time," he said.
"Deal," Kyle said, grinning back to him. He then made his way to Jessi's room. The door was cracked, so he pushed it open and entered.
"Hey, Jessi," he said upon entering.
"Hey," she responded. She was lying on her bed staring at the ceiling.
"Feeling any better?" Kyle asked, sitting next to her.
"A little," she responded.
"What did you have for lunch?" Kyle asked. Jessi didn't answer. "Jessi, you promised."
"I'm not hungry," she told him.
"Well, you need to eat!"
"It's fine, Kyle, I'll just wait for dinner." Kyle was worried about Jessi, but he couldn't force her to eat anything.
Nicole arrived home shortly after 5PM carrying two large pizza boxes.
"Stephen's going to be late tonight, so I thought we'd have pizza for dinner!" she said as she set the boxes on the kitchen counter. Josh came running into the kitchen, sliding on his socks at the counter.
"Alright!" he said excitedly as he grabbed a plate and loaded it up before heading back into the living room to continue a television program he was watching. Nicole rolled her eyes. Jessi stood at the arch looking into the kitchen to see what Nicole had brought home.
"I wasn't sure if you were feeling any better so I got a half with mushrooms on it for you, Jessi," Nicole said. "But if you'd like I can make you some soup."
"No, that's okay," Jessi said, moving into the kitchen. "She took a plate and placed a piece of pizza onto it. Kyle watched her, grabbing a few slices for himself.
The three sat at the round table in the kitchen, and Nicole asked the two about their days.
"It was the usual," Kyle told her.
"Nothing out of the ordinary," Jessi added in.
"Okay, then," Nicole said with a laugh. Jessi was trying her hardest to act normal as she ate, but with each bite and swallow she felt like she might be sick. She ended up picking the mushrooms off, which was unusual because she usually loved mushrooms.
After dinner, the Trager's decided to watch a movie as a family, which included both Kyle and Jessi. Now that Stephen was home from work, the five of them huddled around the television and settled in. Josh had control of the X-Box and scrolled through Netflix. After they all decided to watch a comedy, he started naming off movies that looked interesting.
"Let's see," he began. "We've got "White Chicks", "Hitch", "Mean Girls", oh here's one... "What to Expect When You're Expecting"," he laughed when he read the title, but continued on with the list. "The Smurfs", "The Breakfast Club"."
Jessi shot a look at Kyle, and Kyle blushed. She narrowed her eyes. She knew that if she said anything or if she took him somewhere else to talk it would draw too much attention, so she decided to try something they had been practicing recently. She placed her hand on his arm and looked him directly in the eyes.
'You told him?' she asked inside her head, hoping that he could hear her. Kyle was surprised with how well she communicated. They had just began practicing non-verbal communication with Foss.
'He overheard us last night,' Kyle responded.
"Oh, let's watch Bridesmaids!" Stephen decided. Josh clicked on the title and the movie started.
"I'll go make the popcorn," Nicole said, getting up off of her chair and heading toward the kitchen.
'You know Josh can't keep a secret,' Jessi continued. She was half nervous of Josh telling Nicole and Stephen, and the other half was anger that he knew.
'Calm down, it's okay,' Kyle said, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze.
'If he keeps making comments like that, Nicole and Stephen are going to find out,' she said.
'I know,' Kyle responded. 'I'll have a talk with him.' Jessi was thoughtful.
'You know what? Tell them. I don't care anymore, they're going to find out one way or another,' she thought frustratedly.
'I don't think now's the best time,' Kyle replied. He wondered what had caused Jessi to change her mind about telling Nicole and Stephen, but he'd been keeping the secret for over a week and he felt like he was going to burst. He needed advice from the wisest woman he knew, and that was Nicole.
He let go of Jessi's arm, but Jessi continued to scowl. She sat back on the couch and crossed her arms. The movie was starting and Nicole made it back to the living room just in time with a buttery bowl of popcorn.
"Here you guys go," she said, handing the popcorn to Kyle. "Pass it around." Kyle took a handful and handed the bowl to Jessi.
"Want some?" he asked. She held her breath and shook her head 'no' before handing the bowl to Josh. The pizza was already unsettling on her stomach, but the overwhelming smell of popcorn wasn't doing her any good either.
Half way through the movie, Kyle noticed that Jess had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He wanted to run his hands through her hair, but he didn't want to draw any attention. When the movie was over, Jessi decided that it was time for bed.
"Goodnight," she said and headed to her room.
"I think it's about time for all of use to go to bed," Stephen said, looking at the clock. "It is a school night." Everybody stood up, but Kyle stopped them before they got too far.
"Nicole, Stephen," he said. They both stopped and turned to look at Kyle. Even Josh stopped, suspiciously watching Kyle to see what he was going to say. "There's something I need to tell you." Josh laughed.
"Oh my," he said, and ran up the stairs toward his bedroom. Kyle was thankful that he left, knowing that he would be no help to the difficult conversation Kyle was about to face. He wished Jessi would come out and join him, but he knew she wasn't ready to confront them directly.
"Sure, what is it Kyle?" Nicole said.
"You guys might want to sit back down," he suggested. Curiously, Stephen and Nicole obliged. "Jessi and I haven't been completely honest with you lately." Neither Nicole or Stephen said anything, but continued looking at Kyle expectantly.
"You're going to be really mad, but... Jessi and I have been... together," he continued. Nicole stood up.
"Kyle, we talked about this," she started. "That kind of relationship isn't appropriate between you two living under the same roof. You told me it wouldn't happen again."
"I know, and I'm sorry I broke that promise," Kyle continued. "I should never have betrayed your trust."
"No, you shouldn't have," Stephen said, a bit of anger in his tone. This was it, they were angry and disappointed. They always trusted Kyle and he had betrayed them. He could see them gearing up for more lectures. He just had to say it.
"Jessi is pregnant," he said. Whatever Nicole and Stephen were planning on saying had escaped their minds, and Nicole had to sit back down. Stephen rubbed the back of his head.
"Oh my," Nicole said quizzically.
"And that is the exact reason we had set that boundary," Stephen said, obviously severely disappointed. Kyle looked down at the ground. He felt like a terrible person. He felt like he had just single-handedly destroyed the lives of every person in the house.
"I know," Kyle said. "I'm sorry." Stephen sighed.
"I can't deal with this right now, I'm going to bed," he said before he stormed off upstairs. Kyle looked desperately toward Nicole. The whole reason he wanted to tell her so badly because she always knew what to say.
"Well, I guess there's not much we can do about it now," Nicole said to him, moving from the armchair onto the sofa next to Kyle. She placed her hand on his knee. "That's why she hasn't been feeling well these past few weeks." Kyle nodded, and Nicole sighed. "She must be so scared."
"She is," Kyle answered. "And I am too. I don't know what to do. Jessi's been so distant, I don't know what she's thinking anymore, and I know she's thought of abortion, but I can't let her do that."
"And why not?" Nicole asked. Kyle was shocked.
"What do you mean?" Kyle said.
"That's not up to you," Nicole said. "Jessi has the right to decide whether or not she is ready to carry and deliver this baby. If she's not ready emotionally, then she shouldn't have to go through it."
"But it's my baby too," Kyle said, a single tear slipping down his cheek. "It's a living human being with a heartbeat. A beautiful heartbeat- I've heard it! I listen to it all the time." Nicole looked sadly at Kyle.
"That has to be hard, but ultimately it's Jessi's body, and she gets the final say," she said. This did not make Kyle feel any better. It was then that Jessi stepped out of her bedroom. Her eyes were bloodshot- she had been crying too.
"You don't have to worry about that anymore, Kyle," she said with a sniffle. "I'm keeping it." And without another word, she went back into her room, slamming the door behind her. Kyle's heart skipped with relief. He jumped off the couch and headed to her room, but he felt Nicole's hand holding him back.
"Why don't you go to your room," she told Kyle. "Let me talk to Jessi for a minute." Hesitantly, Kyle obeyed her orders.
Nicole entered Jessi's bedroom and found her curled up in a ball on top of her blankets, her back facing away from the door. She was still crying. In that moment, Nicole felt intensely bad for Jessi. She had really grown to care for and love Jessi in the year Jessi had been living with them. She had truly begun to feel like Nicole's own daughter. She sat down next to Jessi and put a hand on her back.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Nicole asked gently, rubbing Jessi's back. Jessi nodded.
"I can't explain it right now," Jessi sniffled. "But I feel like this is something I need." Nicole was quiet. "But I'm scared."
"That's normal, honey," Nicole assured Jessi.
"Aren't you mad?" Jessi choked. Nicole laughed.
"Of course we're mad, but it's not going to change anything," she said. "You need to know that Stephen and I are here for you, no matter what, Jessi. We always will be." Jessi smiled. She knew Nicole meant everything she said. After being abandoned by everyone she ever loved before, Nicole's words meant more than the world. Jessi sat up, turned around, and gave Nicole a hug. Nicole hugged her tightly back, and they didn't let go for at least a minute.
"Thank you," Jessi said when they let go.
"You're welcome," Nicole responded. "I'll go calm Stephen down. You get some rest."
"Okay," Jessi said. She maneuvered herself around in her bed so that she was under her blankets and curled up again, but she heard her door open one more time. She turned around to see Kyle walking toward her, now dressed in his pajamas.
Without saying a word, he walked to the other side of her bed, lifted up her comforter, and crawled in. He faced her, letting his forehead touch hers. Jessi was exhausted and already drifting to sleep, but Kyle extended his hand and placed it on her abdomen. For the first time, he not only heard the baby's heartbeat, but could feel it. He didn't ever want to move his hand away again. He placed his free hand on Jessi's face and gave her a loving kiss before both of them fell into a deep sleep.