*Okay so to make up for my last tiny chapter here is a nice long one! I think this is the best yet so hold onto your hats! Also, loving all of the alert-ers and reviews! So encouraging!*

Teetering on the edge of consciousness, Richard Castle felt awful. He was hungry and nauseous at the same time. His back was killing him, he felt lightheaded, which he thought was interesting because he was obviously lying down, and he really just wanted to go home.

Lying in this hospital bed, all he wanted was to see Beckett because in this drugged up haze, all he knew was that somehow she could make it better.

Which is why when she brushed his hair out of his face, in the kind way a mother would, he realized that he needed to get out of this semi-awake limbo he had been stuck in for the past little while. So he gathered up his strength and opened his eyes. He felt like he was wading through sludge with every action.

Was this what people on drugs felt like every day? Why would anyone do this to themselves! He thought.

Trying to get his body to cooperate with his mind he focused on Beckett. Staring at her with what must've been a look of complete oblivion, three seconds must have passed before his brain started working properly. When it did his face lit up like a kid at Christmas time.

When he looked into the eyes of Kate Beckett he instantly forgot all about the pain and the discomfort he had been feeling.

The warmth that she was sending him filled his soul and shrouded him with more love than any woman had ever made him feel.

It was then that Beckett began to cry

Castle was very heavily drugged so he didn't understand what was wrong.

He lifted what felt like an extremely heavy arm to her face and began wiping away the tears that were rolling from her beautiful green eyes.

"Don't cry." He slurred. Realizing how completely high he sounded he blinked several times and tried to adjust himself to sit up. He had only moved about half an inch when he felt a searing pain in his back. Wincing heavily and shouting what ended up sounding like "faaaaackkkkkkkkk" he retreated to his earlier position.

"Wadareyou doin' Castle? Stop moving, do you want water or something? Hold on I'll go grab you some water" Said Kate as she stroked the side of his face hoping to calm him down.

He had just wiped her wet cheeks, with a sad expression on his face, she guessed that he was still pretty loopy due to the medications. Her premonitions were assured when he tried to tell her not to cry with a slurred voice. He must've realized it as well because he tried to adjust himself and before she was able to stop him he put pressure on his back.

However as soon as she tried to leave he squeezed her hand with more force than she thought he could possibly have had and said, "no...please". This was less slurred than his last attempt at speech, so she figured that he must be coming out of his haze.

"Okay. Don't worry I'm here. I'll just page a nurse to check on you now that you're awake and she can adjust you if you'd like."

Castle did not like the idea of her leaving him one bit. He had worked so hard just to see her, and the thought of being without her for even one second scared him deeply.

As he grabbed her hand he realized how much more of his strength he had regained. Excellent, he thought, the sooner these drugs wear off the better!

She must have recognized the look in his face when he asked her not to leave because she stopped and sat right back down. For this he was extremely grateful in more ways than he could express.

"Thank you" he said, finally with enough of his sanity back to sound like himself.

"Always." She replied and then smiled that simple, yet astoundingly beautiful smile that she always did when she said the 6 little letters that had come to represent their relationship.

Hearing her say this brought back memories of everything they had been through over the past 3 years and reminded Castle of all of the times he had chosen to stay quiet or been to afraid to say how he felt to Beckett.

Well everything was different now. He could have died, he almost did die, and he had never even told her how he felt. Well things were going to be different from now on. No more living in fear. So without any planning or practice (which never happened) he dove in.

"I love you Kate." He said as though it were a fact, and not an admission. "I always have, and it is ridiculous that it has taken me almost dying to realize it but you need to know. You need to know that I think you are the most beautiful, inspiring and talented woman I have ever met, and there is no way I could die without having spent my life with you, because without you there would be no point to life at all."

Kate was in awe. When the doctor said that Castle was the strongest patient he had ever had he was not kidding. He had only been awake for 10 minutes and was already back to almost his old self. Almost. Something about him was different. They say that when you go through a traumatic life event you usually end up with fervency for life and boy were they right.

When Kate had told him that she loved him as he was slipping towards unconsciousness she meant it. She meant it more than she ever had towards any other person in her life. She had fallen in love with him some time ago but she wasn't really sure when. It seemed one day his little quips were causing her nothing but annoyance and the next day they were all that kept her going. Katherine Beckett kept her heart under lock and key, and had been perfectly content with it, until she met Richard Castle. Somehow he had managed to find a way in. She had wanted to tell him how she felt so badly, but the thing with having a heavily guarded heart is that trust does not come easily. She was so afraid of getting hurt that she stalled. At first using excuses like he wasn't dependable or he is only in it for sex, but even she couldn't be fooled by her lies. She had even tried to tell him once, but she waited too long and missed her chance. However when she saw him take a bullet for her, put his own life in serious danger just to protect her, she realized how seriously wrong she had been about waiting for the perfect moment. Life isn't like one of his books. There really is no perfect moment for two people, and if you try to wait for one, well you will wait a long time and just might miss your chance.

She sat frozen in complete shock as she reveled in what he had just said. It was quite possibly the most beautiful thing she had ever heard, and was by far the most amazing thing anyone had ever said to her. Hearing those words come out of his mouth completely vanquished any fear she had be harboring about his true feelings or intentions.

A solid 30 seconds had passed and she still hadn't said a word, and Richard Castle was starting to worry. He usually planned what he was going to say, instead of just rolling with it, but he truly felt everything he had said and it was now up to her. He knew that she loved him back because she had said so at the cemetery, but he was just worried that she would hide or run away because she was afraid.

Suddenly she broke free from her statuesque pose and a smile so big and warm that it made Castle's whole body tingle engulfed her face. She leaned in quickly, but not so much so as though to hurt him and kissed him.

Every neuron in his body was alive and crazy as they kissed. There was more passion than he ever thought possible in this simple kiss. It was as if every emotion he had been feeling over the past 3 years was exploding all at once.

With one hand still holding hers, he reached up with his other and gently touched her cheek. His arm feeling significantly more like his own than the last time he touched her face, he held her there. Exactly where she needed to be.

***Swoon**