Period of Transition
Chapter IV

Tomoe Hotaru's room was usually dark. She always assumed that she got it from her father, overenthusiastic scientist that he was, and his practice of working with little to no light. She herself wasn't too fond of the way it glared in your face, nosed its way into the most insignificant of corners and exposed your faults for all to see. If highlighted too long, it blinded and forced you to stumble through the rest of life without so much as a map. It always did that―imprinted itself on you and left you to your own design.

Chibiusa had done the same.

'She told me that she liked me...'

And it was up to Hotaru which road she wanted to take.

The answer was obvious.

How many months had passed since she recognized the feeling? Since the girl inherited monopoly over her thoughts and accepted no offer to return them? She'd acknowledged long ago that she was interested in Chibiusa romantically and so often had she entertained different scenarios in which shewas the one to confess. She never dwelt too long on the idea that Chibiusa would feel the same way, but she remembered that there was supposed to be an enthusiastic reaction on her part and a declaration of mutual affection.

Why, then, did she have to do the stupid thing and stare wordlessly at the other girl?

'I must've hurt her badly...'

It hurt to think about it. She could still remember that strained smile, the way the cheerful voice trembled, the despair reflected in those orbs. They were foreign invaders that had no right to association, and the mere thought that Hotaru herself had invited them tore her up inside.

'I never wanted to hurt her...'

Neither could she turn back time.

"Chibiusa..." she groaned, flinging her forearm from her eyes to stare into nothingness. The ceiling took a while longer to come back into focus and when it did, Hotaru sighed wearily and rolled onto her side. The phone sat directly in her line of sight, placed conveniently by her bed, mocking her in the darkness with a faint outline. Although Hotaru never had a problem with this impairment before, it bothered her now that she couldn't see the full picture of her room; she was missing out on so much.

An impulse gripped the girl and before she knew what she was doing, the nearby lamp had been turned on, the handset clutched in her hand, and her fingers pounding in the 10-digit sequence from memory. She hesitated on the last number, however, when Chibiusa's wavering face came to mind. Was it too soon to call her? Didn't she need to give her some time first to calm down? ...No, that wasn't right. 'That time has already been given to me. My role is to give her an answer, and it'll be worse the longer I draw it out.' Hotaru took a deep breath and hit the final key; she was a novice at this stuff after all.

The other side picked up after a few rings. "Hello, Tsukino residence."

She recognized the voice immediately. "Good evening, Tsukino-san. I'm sorry for calling this late, but this is Hotaru―" The loud squeal that erupted from the receiver forced her to hold it at arm's length. Despite herself, Hotaru chuckled nervously; the older woman was known to be a little enthusiastic at times.

"Hotaru-chan?! Is this really Hotaru-chan?! Wow, we haven't talked in so long! How have you been doing? How's your Dad? Have you been getting along with your classmates? I know you're a bright girl and everything, but you have to remember to have some fun every once in a while. And what's up with the 'Tsukino-san'? I told you to call me 'Usagi'; any friend of Chibiusa's is a friend of―" Her rambles were cut off by a high pitched scream, followed immediately by a clattering of pots and pans, the spilling of liquid. "Mamo-chan! Mamo-chan! It's burning! Dinner's on fire! It's on fire! Mamo-chan!"

The smoke detector suddenly began blaring loudly from the receiver and hurrying footsteps declared Chiba Mamoru's arrival; splashing meant the presence of water. When the danger had passed, she heard the concern in his tone as he gently chastened and shooed her out of the kitchen, adamant to keep her from the dangers of culinary. Hotaru couldn't help a smile when she pictured the endearing scene.

"Sorry you had to hear that," Usagi said sheepishly. She was probably in the living room by now.

"It's okay. You were making dinner, Usagi-san?"

"Or at least trying to, but you heard for yourself how that turned out." The woman sighed. "Mou, I don't know why Mamo-chan never trusts me in the kitchen. You should've seen how quickly he burst from the other room; he was just waiting for me to do something wrong."

"You know that Mamoru-san's just worried about you."

"Of course, but I have to learn this stuff on my own some time. But enough about me, I wanna hear about you. How's school? Chibiusa usually goes on and on about it, but I'd like to hear your version every once in a while. Is it really as great as it sounds? I don't remember school being like that at all."

"She must've found something to look forward to every day," Hotaru answered honestly, though the claim dipped mostly in her favour. It was certainly the reason why her own days no longer seemed to drag, to have that kind smile greeting her at its end. "I'm sorry, but is she there? Chibiusa-chan?"

"Hmm? She hasn't come home yet, if that's what you mean. I thought you were calling to tell me that she's over at your place."

"N-No, she isn't..." A quick glance at the clock revealed it to be a little over two hours since they parted. Chibiusa should've returned home a long time ago, even with time set aside for some solitary pondering. Hotaru's chest tightened as she thought about the other girl, suffering alone underneath the merciless night sky and contemplating impossible things; she would hate herself forever if anything happened to her.

"That's weird," Usagi mused. "She's usually home a few minutes after you two split. Didn't you walk her home today?"

"I'm sorry, Usagi-san!" she blurted out suddenly, and that released a dam of emotion. "I didn't want to, but I hurt her. Badly. It was wrong of me to take her for granted like that, to... to do that to her. I never wanted to. It's the last thing I would ever do to her. Believe me."

"What happened?"

The genuine concern in Usagi's voice almost brought tears to her eyes but just as she was about to speak her heart out, Hotaru's thoughts abruptly turned to the pink-haired girl. She couldn't tell Usagi what she failed to tell Chibiusa, couldn't just leave it as a message for her to return to; it would be doing a great injustice to the girl who'd possessed the courage to confess. "I'm sorry, Usagi-san, but I can't."

Usagi sighed, but the tone of it indicated an understanding. "Well, I suppose there are some things you can't open up to me about, although I do remind you that I'm here whenever you want to talk. I'm not great at giving advice and I don't know what's going on between you two, but I'm sure that if you're sincere, Chibiusa will definitely forgive you. Friends always have their ups and downs―I can't even begin to tell you about all the times I've disagreed with Rei-chan, Ami-chan, Mamo-chan too―but all those experiences have only strengthened our bonds. As for you and Chibiusa, she really likes you and understands that even the best of friends can't see eye-to-eye. If you feel the same way, I'm sure she won't let a misunderstanding break you up."

"Usagi-san..."

Why did it feel like she was smiling through the phone? "Save the issue for tomorrow, when both you and Chibiusa have had a night to calm down and think about what happened. Apologize to her first thing in the morning; you'll see that it'll be alright."

'She's avoiding me. I don't blame her, but...' Hotaru sighed quietly as she watched autumn leaves invade school grounds and twist in dress of brilliant orange. The teacher's monotone drawl failed all tests of appeal, and the girl tried to imagine her problems joining the leaves in flight. How easy that would be! 'But nothing's going to get better if we're just going to continue to ignore each other.' The clock declared it still twenty minutes to lunch and a foot tapped loudly in impatience. The teacher looked up from his lesson and glared her way, effectively stopping the noise. He didn't have the best impression of her that morning, having caught her trying to inch her way next door just before the final bell. 'I have to apologize, but if she's avoiding me, she'll probably be gone by the time I get there.'

Amethysts swept past the old man at the front of the class, his sharp eyes intent on the page being read. She sat on the window side of the room, furthest from the door, second from the front; escape would be no walk in the park. Her gaze shifted when the teacher was prompted to select a new reader, and she did not release her breath until someone else was called. Hotaru looked at the clock again, counted the eighteen minutes left, and slowly began to ease herself out of her seat.

She was a good student―excellent grades, perfect attendance, the right attitude―so this one small act of rebellion was oddly exhilarating. The boy sitting behind her must have surely noticed her movements but he didn't seem to care; his lack of action encouraged her to go through with this until the end. Her heart raced as she passed classmates, some of which who weren't so forgiving and fixed her with weird looks. She ignored them and prayed feverishly that the teacher's pets had something better to do than draw attention to her. Hotaru crept closer to the front, remaining yet miraculously undetected by the teacher. If she was lucky, she could probably sneak out of the classroom without having to―

"Tomoe-san?"

Scratch that. Hotaru sprung forward immediately, a laughter too long contained rising from her stomach. She ran and the man could only look on, stunned to dumbness. By the time he finally found his voice, Hotaru was already out the door.

"TOMOE-SAN!"

She wanted to laugh out loud, but knew it to be a waste of energy when the element of surprise was no longer hers. She turned sharply for the neighboring classroom and almost ripped the door off its track. Her eyes were drawn automatically to her target, standing up at the chalkboard, hand poised over a math equation and her own shot for it. A textbook fell onto the floor and ruby eyes stared up in bewilderment. Caught yet in the moment, Hotaru turned to the equally befuddled teacher and pardoned their absence. Without waiting for an answer, she took off with Chibiusa in tow.

They raced through the hallway, turning corners this and that, climbing up stairs and diving down them, desperate to lose a non-existent pursuer. Hotaru laughed openly now, unable to believe her own absurdity, and glanced back with a smile, taking in the unchanged visage of her best friend. Chibiusa caught the gaze but suddenly lurched forward, prompting Hotaru to twist awkwardly and catch her in her arms. The momentum from the running, however, tilted her balance and they consequently ended up crashing into the floor together.

Hotaru grimaced at the impact, yet still managed an embarrassed laugh. "Sorry to take you out so suddenly."

Chibiusa, whose eyes had closed shut just prior, looked up with a similar blush across her features. "It's okay. A little unexpected, that's all." Her blush darkened and she broke eye contact quickly.

A quick scan revealed unfamiliar territory: a relatively dim hallway lit only by sunlight in some random section of the school. Hotaru faintly wondered whether this was an abandoned wing or something The extra warmth was welcome in view of the cold, hard floor, but when she realized that she was still holding Chibiusa in a tight embrace, Hotaru blushed as well and quickly let go. "I'm sorry, that's―"

"No, it's okay," Chibiusa repeated hurriedly.

The girls untangled themselves and got off the floor, trying to avoid eyes at all times. The high had dissolved and Hotaru did her best not to start fidgeting, concentrated her attention to the other's shoes. It was unbelievable how awkward things had become between them when only twenty-four hours ago their words had been so free and playful. How did it come down to this? Their conflicting affections, being unable to talk about them for who knew how long, and this fracture to their relationship. It didn't make any sense.

"Hey, Hotaru-senpai," Chibiusa began, startling the other girl. But of course, Hotaru reasoned, Chibiusa was never one to just let her thoughts go unfinished. "About yesterday. I apologize for... yesterday. I mean, I'm sorry about that. I just..." She broke off to take a breath, to reorganize her clearly shaken voice. "I'm not expecting you to answer in my favour, or even answer at all. I just wanted to let you know my feelings, that's all. I don't expect us to be anything more than friends, and I can accept that you don't feel the same way. You could always have your own eye on someone else, or maybe you're just not interested in me. You might not be particularly attracted to girls either so there's a conflict there. It's okay though since your friendship means a lot to me. I'm not―"

"You talk a lot."

Chibiusa laughed sheepishly, meeting Hotaru's eyes with a smile. "What an answer. I just confessed to you and you complain that I talk too much? If anything, you should be the one talking endlessly, having pulled me out of class like that."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." Hotaru brought a thinking finger to her chin. "Okay, you can keep talking; I like it when you talk. The sound of your voice, actually."

"That's really ambiguous, isn't it?"

"What do you want me to say?" Feeling the tension slip away, Hotaru shared the smile. "Well, I like how you're always there whenever I need you. I like how you're always so kind to those around you, regardless of all else. I like the way you're always ready with a smile, how your eyes light up during conversation. My best times have always been with you."

Chibiusa shifted and traced an arc with her shoe, the light-hearted tone dropping slightly. "Thanks, that means a lot."

Hotaru bit her lip. "No, I'll clarify. I'm sorry, Chibiusa-chan. You caught me off-guard last night and I didn't know how to respond. It didn't help that you ran away right after. I really didn't know what to do then, couldn't decide whether going after you was the right choice or not."

"Yeah. I guess that bit's my fault."

"Well..." The dark-haired girl stepped forward and took Chibiusa's hands, leaned her forehead against hers. She smiled to herself when she saw her cheeks colour. "It was something of a wake-up call, so it wasn't all that bad. Now I know what happens when I don't follow through with my feelings. It was stupid for me to hesitate and for that, I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," laughed Chibiusa, her eyes lighting up playfully. "And was that a confession, or what?"

"Huh? ...Do you want me to call it that?"

"Mou, Hotaru-senpai. Didn't you just resolve to follow through with your feelings?"

"Right... Is it too late to take that back?"

"Hotaru-senpai..."

More laughter. "You're right, my bad." Hotaru smiled and looked into Chibiusa's eyes, how reflected in them was the same girl she had come to know and love. That kindness, stubbornness, softness, all shimmering in those beautiful pools of red, and before she knew it Hotaru was bending slightly―hesitantly―to touch her lips. The kiss didn't last very long, however, because as soon as she felt Chibiusa returning it, Hotaru pulled back immediately, heart thundering and a vicious blush smearing her features. "S-S-Sorry! I-I... T-That was―"

"It's alright," assured Chibiusa, not untouched by the colour. "I encouraged it, after all." She glanced down, presumably from embarrassment, but the tugs of a devilish grin were clearly seen at the corner of her lips. "I just never thought Hotaru-senpai could be so bold..."

"B-B-Bold?! I-I didn't..." Hotaru trailed off, remembering her words. Before she could lose her nerve, she wrapped her arms around the smaller girl and felt the blood rush to her head; how she remained on her feet was a question for the times. "I'm sorry, but it's true that I never want you to run away again." Hotaru suddenly released the hold and backed away a step. "Ah, no. I'm sorry about t-that. That came out really weird..." Her eyes darted away frantically. "I won't―"

Chibiusa grabbed the collar of her uniform and cut her off with a kiss. "Hotaru-senpai's silly."

"I'm not used to this, that's why," countered Hotaru, proven with all the blushing. "And what's with the 'senpai' still?"

The shorter girl laughed and took hold of Hotaru's hand. "In any case, you don't need to worry about that at all. If I'm to run now, I'll be sure to run with you." She pulled the other girl forward. "C'mon, lunch's going to start soon and we have to deal with our teachers first. You have an obligation to explain why I was so suddenly dragged out of class. If I get detention because of it, you're suffering with me."

Hotaru resigned herself to fate with a shake of her head "Yeah, yeah..." Yet she smiled. Slowly, she laced their fingers together and was rewarded with a beautiful smile. It was so silly, a simple everyday thing―now worth so much more. The light was indeed overbearing at times but she was certain that she could adjust to it if Chibiusa was there. They still had the rest of their lives to live, and without a doubt were good and bad times going to be part of the package. So much lay ahead of them, but Hotaru felt that as long as they stayed like this, they didn't have to be afraid of falling.

"Hey, Hotaru-senpai?"

"Yes, Chibiusa-chan?"

"Do you know the way back to class?"

"...I'm pretty sure it was somewhere... not here." Hotaru reddened when the stunned silence that followed was broken with laughter. "If we get out of the building, we'll find out where we are easily. It's not like we left school grounds or anything."

Chibiusa grinned. "Well, we'd better make a run for it if we're gonna catch them before they call our parents. Try not to let go of my hand!"

Hotaru squeezed it reassuringly. No, she wasn't about to make that mistake again.

Note: Fates, the editing for this one took a lot longer than I thought; that was most definitely not within a week. I blame a life wasted at commencement. ...Okay, I admit that I changed a rather large chuck of the original, though I'd like to think that it was for the greater good and not just because I was being picky about wording and sentence structure.

As mentioned in the first chapter, this story acts like a prequel to To Love the Light. One thing I forgot to note in that story was the fact that it kinda spun off of the idea of the girls being in the same year, yet Chibiusa still employed the senpai honorific when referring to Hotaru. Then came the "Project A" stuff. :dusts off hands: Glad I got that cleared up. Ah, I might extend this universe either back in time or forward, but both ideas are really, really beta. :P

Following tradition, I would like to thank my reviewers: Black Caballiere, DavisJes, HitXit, Kaworu, LaCazadora, Lily Topaz, and Magpie085. A special shout-out to Black Caballiere and HitXit for taking the time to comment on each and every chapter. You guys are awesome. Your encouragement was much appreciated and never failed to bring a smile to my face. :) I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed... err, editing it? lol. Well, I remember the writing bit was fun too so everyone wins! Burnt popcorn-tasting oatmeal cookies for everyone! (And that, my friends, is the extent of my culinary skills.)

I'm in a race to post "Project A" before I receive a certain mark in Writer's Craft that will allow me to win a bet and gain an art slave. :cackle: Of course, the unveiling of "A" is part of the lose conditions, but I figure that now's as good a time as any to get it up here. lol, or maybe I've been writing nothing but Sailormoon these past few months. Has anyone started to tire of me yet? xD

Written: November 24 2007 - January 09 2008.
Edited: October 12 2008 - October 25 2008.