He tiptoed gingerly into the room. How could he feel this nervous in his own home?
The girls were all at the opposite side of the kitchen, with their backs to him.
They hadn't heard him come in.
He eyed each of their backs in turn. Hannah. Zoey. Daisy. Erin.
He cleared his throat. Zoey turned first.
"Daddy, you're ready! Come and play!"
He focused his eyes on his daughter, feeling another set of eyes burning into his skull. He didn't look at them.
He squeezed himself between the two children.
"Hey Daisy," he patted her shoulder, taking probably the biggest intake of breath he ever had. "This must be your Mommy."
He finally brought himself to look at her.
She had aged, but she had aged beautifully. The lines around her eyes had grown, but they did nothing to hide the mesmorizing color that shone from inside them.
She'd changed her hair too. What used to be shorter blonde curls were now long brunette ones, shaping her face and going down the length of her back.
"Yes Mr Jay, this is my Mommy, Erin."
She didn't say anything, just let out a smile at Jay, the same time as his mouth dropped to the floor.
She had changed, but it was her.
He didn't know how to react, but he didn't want to cause a scene. Especially not in front of his wife.
He offered out his hand to her. "Nice to meet you, Erin." He still stumbled on the name.
As soon as their hands connected, he felt it. The spark. She pulled herself away quickly, he realized she'd felt it too.
She raised a hand to her face, pushing a curl behind her ear. He was still looking at her intently as she spoke.
"It's nice to meet you too, Jay." She raised a finger for a 'shh' sign, confirming Jay's feeling that now wasn't the right time for anything except pretending they didn't know each other. He noticed her voice was still husky as ever. "Daisy's told me all about you."
He felt his face turn pink but their greeting was interrupted.
Hannah spoke. "Shall we eat?"
The two children spoke in unison. "Yes please!"
They all sat at the table, Erin taking a seat opposite Jay.
Jay got up to serve dinner. He served his wife first, then moved to Erin. "How much, um, tell me when to stop?" He leaned over her shoulder, brushing it slightly so they made contact.
She stuck out her hand. "That's enough, thank you." She turned to smile at him, but he'd moved onto Daisy.
Daisy was sucking on her little finger, it made Jay laugh. "Hey Daisy, I used to do that when I was a kid. But you know my mom told me if I kept doing it, my finger would fall off!"
The girl's eyes went wide and her hand dropped from her mouth onto the table.
Erin laughed. "That's what I tell her." She looked at Jay and he looked back this time. "But she doesn't seem to listen."
Maybe she'll listen to you, she mouthed.
Jay put pasta on Daisy's plate then did the same for Zoey.
"Thank you Daddy!" Zoey clapped her little hands together. "My favorite!"
Jay laughed and put out his own dinner.
He sat back at his place and outstretched his legs. They came into contact with somebody else's.
Sorry! He mouthed across to her.
She didn't say anything but smiled at him. He looked at her face: it hadn't aged much and the dimples were still there.
He noticed she didn't make an effort to move her legs away.
"So Erin," Hannah broke the atmosphere. "If you don't mind me asking, Zoey mentioned you just moved back to town-"
Erin shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Yup," she clasped her hands together on the table top. "I- uh, family stuff."
Hannah took it as her hint to drop the topic.
Jay kinda wanted her to elaborate. It was maybe something to do with Daisy's father. Whatever it was, it was obvious Erin didn't want to talk about it.
She was looking down at her daughter, wiping away the pasta sauce she'd dribbled down her chin.
Jay had never imagined her as a mother but she seemed like a damn good one.
"Daddy, I'm finished!"
He turned to Zoey and couldn't help but laugh. "I can see that, Zo!" He grabbed a napkin and cleaned her up. "You've got half of it on your face!"
Zoey scrunched up her face.
"I'm finished too D- I mean I'm finished Mr Jay!" Daisy copied her friend.
Erin tensed up. But it was fine, she didn't think Jay (or Hannah) had noticed.
"Did you enjoy that Daisy?" Jay stood from the table, taking the children's plates away.
"It was yummy!" Daisy rubbed her stomach, showing how good it was.
Jay laughed. "Well I'm glad you liked it. Now how about ice cream?"
He regretted asking, the two girls erupted into a fit of squeals. "Yes please, yes please!" They jumped up and down.
The three adults laughed at them.
"Wow, Jay." Hannah stood and wrapped an arm around her husband. "You really want to give them more sugar?"
Erin was the last to get up from the table collecting the rest of the plates. "Oh I agree, Hannah. Maybe we should leave them for Jay to handle?"
Hannah wasn't looking so she winked at Jay.
He took the dishes from Erin's arms, his fingers flinching as they touched hers.
"Well I don't mind that!" He took the girls in one arm each with ease, sitting them on the kitchen counter.
"You're right, Erin. Let's leave them to it." Hannah motioned for her guest to go into the lounge.
Erin turned around on her way out, glancing at Jay once more.
"You look after my daughter. No corrupting her."
Jay grinned. It was damn hard pretending not to know her. Half of the things he could have said but held back.
"Who, me?" He had a look of pretend shock on his face. "Never."
He waited until the women went into the lounge.
"Okay, ice cream time. Don't tell your Mommies how much I gave you."
The two friends giggled behind their hands. "We promise!"
He handed them their bowls of ice cream then tidied more of the table.
As he put their stuff in the dish-washer, he looked over at the pair. It had been a matter of weeks and Zoey seemed smitten with her new best friend.
And Daisy? Daisy was the double of her mother. He was sure this was what Erin had looked like as a kid.
There was no denying she was Erin's daughter. Everything about them was the same.
Apart from. Jay realized, the eyes. Erin's had always been a deep shade of brown. Daisy had the cutest sea green irises.
She must have gotten them from her father, whoever he was.
"Daddy, Daddy more!"
Their giggles broke his thoughts. "Oh I don't think so monkey, no more sugar for you!"
Zoey and Daisy looked at each other and both turned to Jay, their eyes wide.
"Oh nope. Puppy dog eyes are not going to work." He scooped both girls up and took them into the lounge.
He cussed at himself for mentioning the 'p' word, thankfully Zoey didn't seem to notice.
Hannah and Erin were both sitting on the couch, deep in conversation. They turned suddenly when they heard their daughters laughing.
Jay set them down and they ran to Zoey's toy-box to play.
"See," Jay pointed towards them. "I told you I could handle them, they're fine."
"Except when it comes to bedtime," Hannah laughed. "She'll never go to sleep."
Erin nodded in agreement. "Yup, Daisy will be the same."
"Oh well I am sorry." He laughed. They could handle bedtime.
He sat on the other couch, watching as the two women drifted back into conversation.
Great. He wished he had masculine company.
He glanced back over to the other couch.
His eyes travelled down Erin's body, noticing her very naked ring finger. It made him frown as he played over scenarios in his mind. The fact he shouldn't have been looking at her like this only made him want to look more.
Just because Daisy's dad wasn't in the picture didn't mean Erin hadn't moved on.
He hoped she had, he needed her to be happy.
"Are you gonna stay for a drink?" Hannah stood from the couch, directing her question to Erin.
"I have the car," Erin started, a slight unease in her voice.
Hannah had already made her way into the kitchen, leaving Jay and Erin alone.
It was awkward at first. Neither of them spoke.
There was so much to say, and yet, neither of them could find the words. The only noise they heard was the conversation coming from their girls.
"You're really my best friend, Daisy!"
"You're mine too, Zoey!"
Erin looked over at her daughter then at Jay. Her eyes travelled around his face before they made eye contact. She looked nervous.
"I don't even know what to say to you." She began, fidgeting with her hands.
He smiled at her. "I know, the last time I saw you-"
She held up a hand. "I don't want to talk about the last time I saw you. Jay, I-"
Hannah re-entering the room cut short their conversation.
Jay exhaled, he wasn't going to have this conversation in front of his wife. She reached down to Erin, presenting her with a glass of wine. A large glass of wine.
"Hey what about mine?" Hannah had come in with two drinks, she didn't have one for Jay.
"Oh, you're designated driver," Hannah laughed, taking a large sip of her drink. "You're gonna take Erin home later."
Jay thought about protesting, Hannah was rubbing the fact that she was drinking in his face.
He looked over at Erin, she mouthed a 'sorry' in his direction and he smiled. If he was honest with himself, he didn't really mind. He would see that she got home safe.
And, he'd be alone with her. For the first time in five years.
Zoey and Daisy came back over to the couches, their little faces grinning.
Zoey climbed up on her father's lap and Jay rolled his eyes. He knew that, when she wanted something, this is what she did.
"Daddy, can Daisy stay over at my house tonight?"
He looked over at his wife, not knowing what to answer. It was fine with Jay, but Hannah would probably say something different.
"Oh, I don't know sweetie. Daisy might want to go home with her Mommy."
Daisy shook her head, walking over to Erin. "Oh please can I stay Mommy, please?" She did the same thing Zoey did when she wanted something, pleading with her parent.
Erin looked at Hannah. "Well only if that's okay with Zoey's Mommy and Daddy-"
"It is." Jay cut into the conversation. He turned back to his daughter. "Yes, Zo. Daisy can stay."
Zoey threw her arms around him in excitement. "Oh thank you Daddy!"
He laughed, knowing he could never deny her anything.
"Come on, Daisy I'll show you my room!" They ran out.
Hannah groaned. "Then you're on bedtime duty, Jay. There's no way they are going to sleep after all that sugar."
Jay frowned. "Oh so I'm on cab duty, clean-up duty and bedtime duty? While you just sit there drinking?"
He was surprised at his tone, he even saw Erin raise her eyebrows. Hannah didn't say anything.
Erin broke the tension between the couple, trying to stick up for Jay. "You know, Daisy will probably crash soon. She won't be up all night."
Her comment apparently didn't do anything to Hannah's mood.
Jay appreciated her effort. He didn't want it to be awkward. "I'll go and put the girls to bed." He walked out of the room leaving Erin with his wife.
"Hey monkeys, I think it's time for bed." He walked up the rest of the stairwell, fully prepared for a fight with two four year olds: they'd want to stay awake and play.
Or so he thought. He got to Zoey's door and pushed it open. The room was weirdly quiet. He walked into the room and smiled. The two girls were both in Zoey's bed. Daisy was fast asleep, Zoey was attempting to read from her book. Although she seemed to be making most of it up from her imagination.
"…and then the bad man was catched by the cops!" She noticed Jay as he made his way to her bed. "Oh, hi Daddy." She turned to her friend and realized she was sleeping. She put a finger to her lips. "Shh!"
Jay copied her. "Shh!"
"Can you tuck me in, Daddy?" she whispered.
He nodded. "Of course, Zo-bo." He bent down and kissed her forehead before pulling the blankets over them.
She looked at him. "Maybe you can tuck Daisy in too?"
Jay frowned. "Huh?"
"Just so she doesn't have bad dreams, Daddy."
He was proud of his kid, she was the sweetest. "Okay." He bent to kiss Daisy's head too. Her nose wrinkled in her sleep.
She had the same nose wrinkle as her Mom, Jay thought.
"Goodnight Zo," He made his way to exit her room.
"Goodnight Daddy, I love you!"
"Love you too, bug. See you in the morning."
He made his way down the stairs, back into the lounge. "So that was easy. They're both asleep-"
He'd expected to come back to both women, but instead there was only one.
"Your wife went to bed," Erin said. "I think she's pissed at you."
He rolled his eyes, causing her to laugh quietly. "Tell me something I don't know. Want me to drive you home?"
She stood from the couch, picking up her empty wine glass. "Are you sure? I can call a ca-"
"You are not calling a cab. I'll take you home." He chuckled. "I suppose you'll be back in the morning to pick up your car and relieve me of your child."
Erin nodded and pursed her lips together, not saying anything. She knew he meant nothing by his tone. Because he didn't know.
Jay hoped he hadn't offended her. "She's a cutie, Erin. You did good."
Her cheeks flushed with color. "Yeah? I'd like to think so. You did pretty good yourself, Jay."
You seem happy she added, under her breath.
"Well, thanks. I'm trying, ha. You also seem to be a pretty big hit with my wife."
He left the room temporarily, going to get Erin's coat. He held it in front of him as she slotted her arms in the sleeves. His hands lingered over her shoulders. As she spun to face him.
She looked different now the room was darker. The little light left in the room seemed to capture her features perfectly.
But Jay couldn't allow himself to think like that.
He caught his breath. "Let's go."
She nodded and followed him out of the room.
They drove in comfortable silence with the radio on low. She would occasionally give him directions.
"You can just drop me here-" she pointed to a corner.
"I'll take you to the door." He was confused as to why she wanted to be dropped somewhere random.
She went quiet. "Okay, but you're not allowed to say anything when you see the house. I just got back and it's a mess and-"
"Erin," he slowed the car so he could shift his attention to her. "You don't have to explain yourself. Come on, it's me. Why would you think I would say anything?"
She exhaled. "I just, I haven't found anybody I trust to do it up yet."
There was silence for a minute.
"I could do it for you." It slipped out, before he could stop it.
"What?" She looked shocked.
"I could do it for you."
"You couldn't do that, Jay. I don't have the money to pay you-"
"I don't need the money, Erin."
She looked at him. "You're just saying it. You don't really have to-"
"I want to." God, he had to learn to control his tongue.
"Then I'll hold you to it."
They reached Erin's house, or shell of a house. He wasn't going to say anything but she was right. It was a wreck. There was a lot of work to be done.
She reached for the door handle.
"Do you want to come in?" She shouldn't have asked that, and she knew it.
He sighed. He couldn't do that, could he?
Please Review :)