A/N: Thanks for the reviews!

October 30, 2007

"Ok that settles it, the cheesesteak eggroll is my favorite for sure," said Rory to Jess. They were sitting on her hotel bed with various take out containers spread out around them.

"You sure you don't need a fifth one to seal the deal," joked Jess.

"Don't mind if I do," said Rory choosing to ignore the sarcasm in his comment and dug out another egg roll from a greasy plastic bag. After various back and forth over which Philadelphia cheesesteak spot would fulfill Rory's craving, Jess finally relented and brought his favorites to her hotel room.

"I still think you're overlooking the bulgogi," said Jess taking the last bite of the Korean cheesesteak.

"Definitely a major contender and the lamb cheesesteak with tzatziki was good too, but look at this neat little package," she said holding up an eggroll, "you think you know what it is, but then you take a bite and it's a cheesesteak. That's like the best food surprise since stuffed crust pizza."

"Okay now that we've digested every variation on the cheesesteak within city limits, are you satisfied?" asked Jess. He tossed the foil from his sandwich in the garbage can and fell back against her headboard.

"Yeah okay, we can settle the roast pork debate next time I'm in Philly," said Rory as she finished her eggroll.

"I see the campaign trail is just reinforcing all your bad eating habits. You should join an I-was-raised-by-a-microwave support group," he teased.

"Oh and you just lived off mother's milk until you were old enough to sauté?" countered Rory.

Jess grimaced and leaned his head back, "I can't believe you would say mother's milk when my stomach hasn't recovered from six cheesesteaks."

"You act all high and mighty, but you know you're in that support group too."

"I just go to pick up chicks with low standards," he countered.

"Now who's being gross?" Rory shoved his shoulder as she leaned back on the bed next to him. "It's like my whole life has just been training for this one job. I can sneak a whole hotel breakfast into my purse," she said proudly.

"Luke is horrified I'm sure."

"Wait till I tell him you brought over six cheesesteaks," she grinned at him.

"I'll just claim I snuck a veggie patty in one of them."

Rory laughed and then stopped abruptly, "Wait, did you?"

Jess just smirked and reached for his soda. Rory quickly thought back to the sandwiches they had just devoured. No way was the Dominican cheesesteak a veggie patty, she reasoned, there was clearly shaved beef on it. She was just contemplating whether the Lebanese cheesesteak was actually an imposter when Jess changed the subject.

"So things good with him and your mom?" he asked.

"Yeah he hasn't fully moved back in yet but I think it's just a matter of time."

"Good."

"Yeah, fingers crossed it sticks this time." She was tempted to close her eyes and lean in to the after lunch nap. She snapped her eyes open as she realized it would be inappropriate to fall asleep in bed with Jess. Not that they hadn't done it many times before, she thought as her mind traveled back in time four years.

"So how much time you got until the debate?" asked Jess, interrupting her dangerous train of thought.

"A few hours, what's there to do around here?" Rory jumped off the bed.

"Let's find out," he said as he followed her to the door.

Of course they ended up in a bookstore. It was the first time since starting her job that she had a day off and didn't feel lonely. She had made friends at work, but sometimes she missed days like this. Wandering around a dusty used bookstore, no deadlines to worry about, no plane to catch. She suddenly froze mid-search as a thought overcame her, did she miss Jess? If she was honest she knew that even if she hadn't been on the road for months, this afternoon with Jess would still feel long overdue.

Just as she pushed the thought away she spotted him scanning the back of a title two aisles ahead of her. She took a moment to stare; his brow was furrowed in concentration, her gaze lowered to his bicep, curled against his side as he held the book up with one hand. She wondered how much he had changed since they had last been together, if he still used the same truckload of hair products, if he was still ticklish behind the knees. As she followed the lines of his body lower, she felt her face get heated and quickly turned around. Maybe it was because he didn't grow up in a small town, but, unlike her, he was always aware of the activity around him and annoyingly good at knowing when she was staring at him. She didn't want to risk Jess catching her flushed and openly staring.

Rory mentally swatted away the butterflies that had suddenly multiplied in her stomach and focused on the task at hand. They easily fell into their old system of finding books for the other person. It was something they had done a million times back when they spent every weekend rummaging around bookstores and libraries. With her pick for Jess in hand, she moved make one last sweep of the memoirs when she ran into him.

"Sex and Rage, Eve Babitz's autobiography and, unlike everything by Joan Didion, it's been out of print for decades," said Jess as he placed his choice for her into her hands. "Very boho SoCal with an edge."

"You sure the Joan Didion comparison doesn't just stack the deck against her?" Rory asked skeptically.

"Trust me."

"Okay, sold," said Rory.

"You didn't find anything?" he frowned as he looked down and didn't find the typical stack of books by her feet.

"I live out of a carry-on bag so there's only room for Eve for now," said Rory patting the book he had just handed her.

"That's never stopped you before. Remember that time the bus driver refused to let you get on with three backpacks and a duffle bag?"

"Anyway," she said pointedly, "I will live vicariously through you, so show me what you got."

"Travels with Charley," said Jess as he showed her the first book in his stack.

"Steinbeck, nice."

"Chris keeps telling me it's like 'On the Road' but not just for angry misfits."

"You think you're ready for that?" she asked with a smile.

"Can't idolize drunk misanthropes forever," he shrugged.

"Aww you're all grown up."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"Feeling restless to get on the road?" She asked as she flipped through his book.

"Something like that, we're going to be traveling to meet some distributors with our new publications in a few weeks so might as well get some inspiration.

"Well if you're going to emulate Steinbeck you have to get a French poodle to be your road companion," she teased.

"No poodle and no truck, just me, a trunkful of books, and every Black Flag album."

"Spoilsport," she pouted. "So where are you going?"

"I'm taking the northeast, Matt's taking the southeast and we're still figuring out if we have the budget for beyond that."

"Chasing that New York Times bestseller list?"

Jess rolled his eyes, "You mean the New York Times best sellout list?"

"Oh, I walked right into that one. I thought your inner rebel was dead."

"That doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to write letters to Oprah, hoping a sticker will put me on the best seller list, which isn't even a real best seller list."

"Oh, I feel a rant coming on."

"They don't even release a list of stores they collect their data from," he continued. "The method is obviously skewed. Do they account for online sales? What about used bookstores? Who the hell knows?"

"Wow, they put you in charge of marketing yet?" she teased.

"You know those lists are biased," he said.

"Yeah but you know those books are doing well anyway," she challenged, "it's not like no one was buying these books and it's all a ruse to push some secret elitist propaganda."

"Sure, people are buying them especially when you only consider the people that make up one very privileged and very susceptible to marketing section of the country."

"So you're not hoping a Truncheon book makes the list?"

"I mean if any of our authors want to whore themselves out I'm not saying the publicity wouldn't be good for business."

"Ha, I knew it!"

"I'm just saying I'm not going to do it. Not that I even have the opportunity. It's not like the Times is breaking down my door."

"Well, not yet and when they do, you can do all the morning shows," she said extra brightly because she knew it would make him grimace.

"Even talking about this on a theoretical level is making me want to cancel my phone plan."

"Hey, we all have to adapt. Last week I had to dedicate 200 words to Seersucker Thursday."

"I don't want to know."

"Yeah you definitely don't. Anyway to appease the little rebel I know still lurks in there, I found this for you," she said handing him her pick for him.

"Joyce Johnson, very nice," he said scanning the back cover of Minor Characters.

"Just to prove the Beats weren't a total boys' club. Have you read it yet?"

"Of course not, I'm a chauvinistic pig like every other guy that worships Kerouac," he joked.

"Well contrary to the narrative, women were alive in the 50s."

"Get out of here!" Jess smirked as he looked down at the book. "Thanks," he said, "I've been meaning to pick this up."

Rory wasn't expecting a genuine smile from him. All day, and in their most recent conversations, they had carefully walked a line of good natured ribbing and casual catch ups. She couldn't remember the last time he smiled at her like that in response to something nice she did for him. She suddenly felt frozen to the spot, hoping he wouldn't notice that she was in danger of blushing for what felt like the hundredth time today.

"So, ice-cream?" suggested Jess as he walked toward the register.

"In cones?" asked Rory, once again feeling the butterflies multiply as she trailed behind him.

His smirk was back in full force now as he turned toward her, "I know a place."

"So how's Philly? Do you miss New York?" They both had cones and were wandering around Rittenhouse Park. Jess had a scoop of mint chocolate chip and Rory opted for her favorite vanilla chocolate swirl.

"I don't miss inflated rent and hipster cafes on every corner."

"Philly is hipster immune?" she asked.

Oh no, they're encroaching already like a freaking infestation. There are droves of bearded guys wearing saddle shoes moving into every neighborhood.

"Hey! I wore saddle shoes all of sophomore year," exclaimed Rory.

"I'm sorry this generation has retroactively made you look like an ass." He smiled when he saw her glare at him.

"Maybe you're a carrier," she replied, refusing to let him get away with making fun of her favorite footwear. "You stepped on some mustache wax and one got stuck on the bottom of your never-been-appropriated-by-hipsters-Converse," she emphasized with an eye roll, "fell off on a sidewalk in Philly and started multiplying."

"Should I be flattered?"

"Absolutely, you're the Typhoid Mary of hipsters."

"I prefer patient zero." They smirked at each other and went back to their ice cream.

"So have you totally acclimated to Philly? Do you saw 'jawn' now? Do you own an Eagles' jersey? Are you a Mummer?" asked Rory as she bit into her cone.

"Easy with the questions what are you, a journalist or something?"

She laughed into her cone as she struggled to prevent it from dripping on her hands. "So you like it here?"

"Yeah, it's pretty cool. I wasn't expecting to like it, but it grew on me. What about you, enjoying living out of a suitcase?" He said sitting down on a nearby bench

"It was definitely exciting at first. Now I'm just amazed how a hotel room in Portland looks and feels the same as a hotel room in San Antonio." She joined him on the bench.

"Bored?" he asked.

"Not by the work, it's just annoying that I go to all these places but don't really experience them. Like today, I never do this." She looked around at the tiny city block that made up the park. If she hadn't met up with Jess today, she knew she would have spent the whole day in her hotel room, watching daytime TV and texting her mom. The sun was just starting to set and she would have to head over to the debate site soon. It unsettled her how much she didn't want to leave.

"I should head over to Drexel soon so I don't miss the pre-debate coverage." She thought saying the words out loud would make it easier to go but she didn't move from the bench.

"Careful getting across Center City, they're shooting a Gary Oldman movie so some of the nearby streets are closed."

"My mom would flip if I met Gary Oldman, said Rory excitedly, glad to taker her mind off her confusing feelings. "Maybe I'll try to find him after the debate."

"Try not to get arrested."

"You can come and be my alibi, if anyone suspects me just answer every question with a line from True Romance." She wasn't sure if she was crossing a line by trying to spend time with him after the debate. The words had just flown out of her mouth and as soon as she said them she realized she wanted to see him again before she left tomorrow morning. It would be late after the debate and she had a feeling Gary Oldman would not be in the cards if she invited Jess to meet her at her hotel room.

"As tempting as that sounds, I'm busy tonight."

"What could be more important than stalking Gary Oldman?" She didn't want to push it but now that the idea had formed it was difficult to get it out. Besides when had he ever refused to see her. He had refused to call, communicate, schedule, even fight, but talking was the last thing she wanted him to do with his mouth at the moment. Rory decided the feelings she battled against all day should be explored.

"Actually, I kind of have a date tonight." Rory felt her smile freeze in place and hoped it looked natural. He couldn't have extinguished her train of thought more efficiently if he had thrown a bucket of cold water over her head.

"Oh, of course, sorry I um, I mean that's cool," she stammered.

"I should have mentioned it sooner," he said.

"No, I shouldn't have assumed," said Rory as she continued to flush with embarrassment. Think of something else she told herself. She looked around for something to focus on, finally landing on a lion statue; maybe it would come to life and swallow her whole to get her out of this moment.

"You said you were gonna be busy after 6 so…," he trailed off and Rory felt even more humiliated as she realized how transparent she must look to him.

"No need to explain I get it," she said too quickly.

"This shouldn't be weird right? I mean we haven't…in years," he finished awkwardly.

She thought back to the last time they had been anything more than friends. Her mind landed on the night she tried to use him to make Logan jealous and suddenly she couldn't believe she ever thought he may be interested in her again. She was always so focused on how he wronged her by leaving, she never thought about how many times she disregarded his feelings. After all, using him to make Logan jealous had hardly been the only time. Her mind backtracked from the Truncheon open house to a late night at Yale surrounded by boxes to the minutes before Sookie's wedding.

"Right, yeah me too, I mean I'm good. Well, I should go. I need to head across town." Her brain finally managed to come up with a goodbye rather than just waiting for the lion to come to life. She jumped off the bench and resisted the urge to run.

"Rory," called Jess. He paused before finally saying, "Let me know how the debate goes?"

"Yeah sure, I really have to go," she said already halfway in a cab.

"I blame you for this," Rory hissed into her cell phone from the back of her cab.

"What did I do?" asked Lorelai.

"You and your 'he's always had a thing for you' and 'you're sending him ideas'," she said.

"He has always had a thing for you and clearly you did have ideas," said Lorelai

"I'm so stupid, I actually thought he would still be interested after I was such a jerk to him."

"When were you a jerk to him?"

"At his open house, I sort of kissed him so I could make Logan jealous." Rory covered her face and hoped the cab driver wasn't listening to her conversation.

"See! All my worrying about you two is clearly justified."

"I'm telling you I tried to use him to make another guy jealous and you think that means there's something between us?"

"Clearly you knew you could go to him and he'd still be interested otherwise you wouldn't have used him like that, you could have just gotten any guy off the street."

"Well he is definitely not interested now. I'm the worst." Rory slumped back against her seat.

"Okay enough of this pity party."

"This just happened ten minutes ago, I get more sulking time."

"You're on your way to a national broadcast of a presidential debate I refuse to feel sorry for you no matter who rejected you," said Lorelai sternly.

"Yeah okay fair enough but after this debate is over, I am going to get a pint of Ben and Jerry's like the sad singleton I am."

"Are you really upset? Do you think starting a new relationship with Jess would be good for you? How would that even work? Long distance until the campaign is over and then… what?" Lorelai frowned as she tried to make sense of what Rory was suggesting.

"I don't know. I didn't plan anything out obviously. I just feel…"

"What?"

"Ok this is entering into wallowing territory and maybe I should wait till I have ice cream."

"The judges will allow this small deviation."

"I don't know how I feel romantically I mean we've barely spent 20 minutes alone together in four years before today."

"But…?"

"But he just has this way of seeing through all the bullshit. I feel like he makes me better," she paused, "but that can be a friend thing right?"

"You know what you need?" said Lorelai, choosing to ignore Rory's last question.

"Cookie dough?" suggested Rory.

"You need to start dating again."

"You know I'm terrible at that."

"Not an excuse."

"On top of my current embarrassment I should make a plan for future embarrassment?"

"You need to stop going backwards, find some new guys, have some fun! You're on the road, this is the perfect time to date casually but you know be safe."

"I don't know."

"That's the spirit"

"Ok I'm at the venue, I'll talk to you later"

"Knock em dead"

"Thanks, Mom"

Rory hung up her phone as the cab pulled up the debate site. Well, she thought to herself, she would just do what she always did when her love life was a disaster, throw herself into her work. She made her way into the auditorium and found a seat in the press section.