Chapter 4:

I tried to regain my composure, but it wasn't working well. "Dick Stabler?" I had to ask. Was it possible to have more than one Dick Stabler's in this school?

"Yeah?" Karen seemed nervous, of course I pretty much just threw a pen at her.

"Does he have a sister?" I brace myself.

"He has three. But Elizabeth's the only one who goes here, everyone else is in college already." Damn. "That's why he was so afraid of his dad. You know, he couldn't carry on the family name and all that crap." I felt a ping of guilt at that. My son was possibly a murderer because of me. Because he was afraid of me. Do you know how much that hurts? I nod.

"Ok, thank you." Karen looks worried.

"Are you ok?" She asks.

"Yeah, yes. You can go now." She nods, then walks out the door. I slump down in my chair. How is this possible. Dickie? No, Dickie is not gay, and he sure as hell isn't a murderer. There's no way.

The door opens, and my son walks in. He looks like he's been crying. I know at that moment that its all true. Dickie is gay. But I refuse to believe he is a murderer.

I walk to him and embrace him tightly. For the first time in years he doesn't push me away. "You really miss him don't you?" I ask earnestly. Dickie's grip loosens, and finally he shoves me away.

"How could you say that! Dad I'm not gay!"

"Dickie, I don't care if you're gay or straight, or decide to tell me you you want to become a fire truck! You are my son, and I love you." His eyes fill up with surprise. "Now tell me, are you gay?" He looks down, then nods.

"Yeah."

"Were you dating Jay Flarrity?" Again he nods.

"Did you have sex with him?" I don't care if my son is gay, I swear. But having sex when he's sixteen, yeah that bothers me. But he still nods.

"I'm sorry dad." I'm fuming. He looks back at me. "Dad, I'm sorry! Alright, I'm sorry I'm gay."

"It's not about that! What the hell were you thinking? Your sixteen, you shouldn't be having sex with anyone."

"Oh like you didn't!"

"I was eighteen!" Yeah, like he needed to hear that. I back away. I brace myself against one of the desks. "Dickie, you don't understand." I pause. "Jay is dead, and you had sex with him. Don't you get it? Everybody is going to think it was you! Everyone is going to think you killed him!" I jump up from my position and get in his face. But he looks so serious, even with tears in his eyes. I turn away from him.

"I did." I stop. I turn back to my son.

"What did you just say?"

"I did. I killed Jay." I slap him across the face.

"Don't you say that! Do not say that!" Tears are starting to form in my eyes now. "God damnit don't say that."

"I was scared! And angry," he's choking on his sobs now. "I didn't mean to, I swear to god, I didn't mean it. He told me that he loved me." He can barely stand anymore, I leap forward and wrap my arms around him. "We started fighting, and I hit him, and he laughed. And he just kept laughing, and I kept hitting him. Oh god, I'm so sorry!"

"Dickie, it's ok," oh who am I kidding. There's no way this is ok! They are going to take my son away from me. They're going to throw him prison. I can't let that happen. That's it. I have to get Dickie the hell out of the city...