Chapter 4
Realizing that Jun was not going to be arriving anytime soon, Ken reluctantly followed the others into the restaurant. Being a weeknight in the Fall, Le Village was not too crowded, and not too long after arriving the four ninjas were gathered around a table, their plates filled with food. Ken had to hand it to Ryu. The Eagle had thought that the Owl's primary interest in the buffet was the 'all you can eat' aspect. But Le Village offered a large selection of gourmet dishes, many prepared at individual culinary stations. Ken smiled to himself, realizing that this was going to be a hell of a lot better than the ISO cafeteria fare.
The Eagle was just lifting a spoon of piping hot French Onion Soup to his mouth when a stir arose on the other side of the room.
Like the hotel itself, the Le Village restaurant was themed to excess, and the eating area had been designed to resemble an outdoor French café, complete with storefronts and romantic table settings. Ken looked across the cobblestone square, his jaw dropping open in surprise.
Long, shapely legs, supported by elegant spiked heels, strode confidently across the courtyard, moving at a pace neither too fast nor too slow, but one that allowed every diner to gaze upon the vision passing before their astounded eyes. An alluring emerald dress hugged the wearer's frame, highlighting lush, sensual curves and offering a daring glimpse of tantalizing cleavage. Above it all, thick, ebony curls framed a delicate face lit up by sparkling green eyes.
Ken's hand tilted slightly as his attention focused completely on the compelling image moving toward him, and it was only his ninja reflexes that enabled him to jump up, narrowly avoiding the scalding hot soup that he had nearly poured into his lap.
"Onechan!" Jinpei was clearly astonished.
"Wow…" Ryu was ignoring his food. It was the biggest compliment the Owl could give.
"Damn!" Joe grinned to himself. Jun was smoking. If Ken didn't notice her now, the guy had to be gay.
But as he turned to regard the Eagle's reaction, it was immediately clear that Gatchaman's sexuality was not in question.
"You're catching flies, Ken." Joe smirked, reaching up to tap the Eagle's dangling jaw.
Ken snapped his mouth shut angrily, only to have it fall open again as Jun approached their table.
"Don't just stand there, pull out her chair, dumbass!" Jinpei hissed, kicking Ken in the shin. For once, the Eagle actually took the Swallow's advice, hastily sliding the Swan's chair away from the table.
"Onechan, wow! You sure got dolled up!" Jinpei exclaimed.
"You look great, Jun." Ryu added, before returning his attention to his dinner.
"I think so too." Joe commented, elbowing the Eagle meaningfully. "Don't you, Ken?"
"Uh… yeah…" stammered Ken, the White Shadow having momentarily been rendered completely stunned. "Great."
Jun's face fell at what she clearly perceived as a lackluster reaction from her commanding officer.
"Oh… well, I just wanted to have a chance to dress up, like other girls do." she mumbled.
"It was worth it." Joe assured her, but his frustration mounted again. Jun had gone all out, and Ken was starting to sink back into his reserved shell once more. The Condor knew that if he wanted his plan to work, he had to add fuel to the fire.
"Drinks, Mademoiselle et Messieurs?"
Everyone looked up to see a waiter holding a pad, waiting expectantly for their orders.
"I'll have a Coke!" Jinpei replied eagerly.
"Me too." mumbled Ryu through his full mouth.
"Diet for me." Jun added.
"Scotch."
"That's hardly appropriate, Joe." growled the Eagle.
"Fine." the Condor rolled his eyes. "Cokes for everyone, then, with a Diet for the lady. Sheesh, I can't ever get a night off!"
Ken returned to his soup, doing his best not to stare at the Swan's décolletage as she sat next to him. After a few moments of awkward silence, Jun stood up.
"I guess I'll go and get something to eat, then." she said.
"You should get some crepes, Jun; they're great!" Joe offered. "Let me show you."
The Swan smiled gratefully at the Condor, letting him lead her away to the appropriate cooking station. She cast a sad, sidelong glance back at the Eagle, who now appeared to be completely engrossed in a plate of Salade Nicoise. But once she had left, Ken's eyes followed her across the room.
"You know, you really should be paying more attention to Jun." Ryu commented lazily as he spooned Coquille St. Jacques into his mouth. "Looking like that, she's turning a lot of heads."
"Jun would never seriously consider…"
"I don't know, Aniki! That guy looks pretty interested!" Jinpei pointed toward the chef with whom Jun was conversing at the crepes station.
The Eagle buried his face in his dinner again, failing miserably to appear unaffected by the others' comments.
After ensuring that Jun was well taken care of, Joe was making his way back to the table, when he saw their waiter out of the corner of his eye. The Condor approached the man, pulling him aside.
"I think one of the gentlemen at our table isn't enjoying the 'true spirit' of Las Vegas." Joe grinned slyly. "I don't suppose you could add a healthy dose of rum to his drink, and that of the lady?"
"Monsieur, I'm not sure such a thing is…"
The waiter's protest stopped quickly as the Condor shoved a one hundred dollar bill into his hand.
"Keep them filled, all night." he instructed, and the waiter nodded eagerly.
"Of course, Monsieur."
Joe passed by another food station, stopping briefly there before intercepting Jun. The two ninjas returned to the table.
"That cook at the crepes station was so nice." the Swan gushed. "He gave me extra mushrooms and cheese."
"Wow, all he gave me was a dirty look when I asked for seconds!" Ryu commented.
"Which cook?" Ken asked suspiciously, turning to see the same tall French chef flashing a dazzling smile in the Swan's direction.
"Oh, I forgot to get my salad!" Jun exclaimed. "Pierre was preparing that as well." The Swan rose to return to the food station.
"I'll go with you!" Ken offered, pushing his chair back hastily. Jun smiled brilliantly at the Eagle, and the pair went off.
"Maybe there's hope for him yet." Ryu smirked.
"Don't count on it." Joe replied grimly. "Ken needs more of a push." The Condor produced a small bottle from his pants pocket and began sprinkling a fine powder over the Eagle's steak.
"What's that?" Jinpei asked curiously.
"Just a little something I 'borrowed' from one of the cooking stations." Joe smirked. "You remember that Ken doesn't like hot spices?"
The Swallow's eyes grew wide with amusement.
"Joe…" he said in an awed hush.
The Condor's eyes sparkled gleefully, and Ryu's grin was wide enough to split his face in two.
Their drinks arrived, and Joe indicated that it was the two absent diners who should receive the 'special' order. The waiter winked at the Condor as he walked away.
"What was that all about, Joe?" Ryu asked suspiciously.
"You want to go to Pink Treasures tonight, don't you?" Joe replied. When the Owl nodded, he continued. "We can't do that if Ken is breathing down our necks. But if he and Jun are otherwise 'occupied'…"
Ryu and Jinpei smiled broadly as they caught the Condor's drift.
"They just need a little liquid courage." the Owl said knowingly.
"It's not like you wouldn't be doing them a favor." the Swallow added encouragingly.
"I agree." Ryu nodded heartily.
"Then, don't act as if anything unusual is going on." Joe warned the mischievous pair. "Just let nature take its course."
The Swallow and the Owl nodded vigorously.
"Look! Pierre gave me extra croutons!" Jun crowed, returning to her seat. "And he told me that if I come back, he'll make me a 'special' dessert."
"I don't think his desserts are that great." Ken scowled.
"You're just saying that because he didn't have time to make you a crepe." Jun retorted.
"I don't need a crepe." the Eagle muttered. "I have a delicious steak, right here." Grimly, he picked up his knife and fork, cutting off a piece of his filet mignon and putting it into his mouth.
The Swallow, the Condor, and the Owl watched attentively, and they weren't disappointed. The Eagle's face turned bright red, and he immediately began gasping and choking.
"Water!" he croaked, as Joe shoved a drink into his hands.
"Here you go!" the Condor said helpfully, smirking as he watched Ken gulp down the rum and Coke in a single swallow.
"More!" he gasped, and Jun took pity on him.
"You can have my drink, Ken." she offered. "I can get another one."
Gratefully nodding, Ken quaffed the second spiked drink, and his color began to return to normal.
"What happened, Aniki?" Jinpei asked, his face a mask of artful innocence.
"They put too much pepper on my steak!" Ken complained.
"I'm sure it was an honest mistake." Jun soothed him. "If you want, I'll ask Pierre to get you another one."
"No." Ken shook his head vigorously, his eyes beginning to glaze over. "I have plenty of food." The Eagle swayed slightly, his gaze lingering on the Swan's cleavage.
"It's working!" Jinpei whispered gleefully to Ryu. "But, wasn't that kind of fast?"
"What do you expect?" Ryu shrugged. "I don't think Ken's ever had alcohol before."
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As the dinner progressed, it became more and more evident that Ken was decidedly tipsy. Drink after drink appeared, and Joe found himself giving another hundred dollars to the waiter. But it was well worth it. The Eagle was definitely becoming less and less concerned with what everyone else was doing.
The only one who did not notice Ken's unusual behavior was the Swan, but then she appeared to be somewhat giddy herself.
"So, what do you guys want to do after dinner?" she asked, her words slightly slurred.
"Excalibur!" Jinpei said excitedly. "I hear they have a cool knight show where they hit each other with lances! And Aniki promised to take me there!"
"I think the Blue Man Group would be fun." Joe drawled. The Condor was leaning casually back in his chair, observing the Eagle's 'relaxed' demeanor with an amused smile.
"I want to see Elvis!" Ken blurted.
"Elvis?" Ryu was confused.
"I love Elvis." Ken confessed. "I listen to his songs sometimes, on my mail runs."
"Elvis?" Ryu repeated in disbelief.
"Somehow I don't see you shaking your hips and singing Heartbreak Hotel, Ken." the Condor smirked.
"I think you'd look great in that sequined jumpsuit, Aniki!" Jinpei howled.
"I love Elvis too!" Jun broke in excitedly. "What's your favorite song, Ken?"
Encouraged, the Eagle began a loud, somewhat off-key, rendition of 'Love Me Tender', oblivious to the hoots and guffaws of the Swallow and the Owl.
"Okay, Elvis, I think it's time to go." Joe laughed. His plan had been a complete success! Now he just had to get Ken and Jun off in a room together, and they would be 'occupied' for the rest of the night.
Ken stood obligingly, swaying a bit until Ryu rushed over to support him as they exited the restaurant. Jun appeared to be fine, but as she walked her hips swung in an exaggerated fashion and the Eagle's eyes fixed on them in a kind of hypnotic trance.
"We'll have to see if we can find an Elvis show." she giggled, looking back at Ken and blowing him a small kiss.
Joe grimaced. That wasn't quite what he had had in mind. In the condition these two were in, they needed constant supervision if they were going to be out in public.
"No we don't!" Ken declared, pulling away from Ryu. "He's here! Look! It's Elvis!"
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"Well, of course Elvis is here. This is Veg…." Joe started to comment, but abruptly stopped as the Eagle had broken free of the Owl's grip.
"Ken! Come back here!" Ryu yelled after him, but the inebriated Eagle refused to listen.
"Elvis! I can't believe you're here! It really is you, isn't it? The King, in the flesh!"
Jinpei walked over to Joe and whispered, "Joe, what exactly was in those drinks?"
"Just some rum, I swear!" Joe responded adamantly, then ran over to Ken and the shell-shocked Elvis impersonator, who was now cornered between the wall and Ken in an alcove of the hotel lobby. Joe reached them just in time to hear Elvis say in his drawl, "Well, sure, son, but you do know that I'm not really the King, right?"
"Oh, no…" Joe thought to himself, "What did Ken say?"
"Uh, sorry, sir." Joe apologized to the impersonator, "My friend here is taking the whole Vegas experience a little too seriously… We'll be going now." Joe finished, and tried to take Ken by the arm.
"No!" Ken yelled out, wrenching his arm free from Joe, and nearly falling over in the process. "Joe, don't you get it? This is Elvis. He'll prove it. Sing something! Please?"
Joe smirked mischievously. He knew that he should be concerned that Ken might go too far and sidetrack his plans for the night, but the Condor couldn't help but revel in the fact that he had finally succeeded in getting his commanding officer to act so un-Eagle-like. In a way, it was just the icing on the cake. Or, more appropriately, the sequins on the jumpsuit.
"Come on, sing a song for me." Ken insisted. By this time, Jun had sashayed over to see what the commotion was. Elvis smiled when he saw the vision that stood next to the crazed fan.
"Is this your girlfriend, son?" Elvis drawled again.
Ken didn't say anything.
"'Cuz I'd love to sing a song for her. What would you like to hear, little lady?"
"Oh, I don't know." Jun blushed. "Surprise me."
Elvis glanced at Ken and smiled.
"Ok, how about this?
Please don't ask me what's on my mind
I'm a little mixed up, but I'm feelin' fine
When I'm near that girl that I love best
My heart beats so it scares me to death!
She touched my hand what a chill I got
Her lips are like a volcano that's hot
I'm proud to say she's my buttercup
I'm in love
I'm all shook up
Mm mm oh, oh, yeah, yeah!"
While Elvis was singing, Ken started doing his own Elvis impersonation, pretending to play guitar and shaking his hips. Jun seemed to love every moment of the Eagle's performance, as she clapped and cheered the entire time.
Jinpei nearly rolled on the floor with laughter as he witnessed this and he had to hold onto Ryu for support. The Owl stood in complete disbelief of what he was seeing. Joe would have thought that this had topped everything, save for the fact he had his head buried in his hand, completely mortified at the performance of the Eagle and Swan.
None of this was part of his plan.
But then Joe had an idea to salvage his evening.
"That was great, Elvis!" he said hurriedly, then whispered to Ryu and Jinpei, "Keep Ken, Jun and Elvis here. I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?" Jinpei asked, slightly panicked.
But the Condor was already rushing down the hall and didn't pay any attention to the Swallow.
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Joe returned a few minutes later to a completely harried Elvis, who had had about enough of the Eagle's constant harassment, all of which had been met by the giddy schoolgirl giggles of the Swan.
"Good thing you're back…" Ryu grumbled to Joe.
"What'd I miss?"
"I think Elvis is about ready to strangle Ken with his scarf..." Ryu dryly commented, as Joe picked up on the last pieces of the Elvis/Ken conversation.
"…You're a lucky man to have such a lovely woman in your life." Joe heard Elvis remark.
Ken staggered as he turned to Jun.
"Yeah, I am pretty lucky. Maybe one day I'll even marry her!" he slurred.
"Oh, Ken!" Jun exclaimed. "I knew you would!"
A mischievous grin spread across Joe's face like wildfire. This was working out better than he thought! He couldn't have planned it any better if he had tried.
"Hey, Ken…" the Condor called. "I have an idea… You're attracted to Jun, right?"
"Uhhh, yeah. Sure…." Ken replied in an unconvinced tone.
Close enough… the Condor thought.
"And, Jun, we all know you love Ken."
"Most definitely." she smiled, a slight slur in her speech.
Joe continued. "And you both love Elvis, right?"
"Yes!" Ken and Jun responded in unison.
"What are you getting at, son?" Elvis asked as the looks on Ryu and Jinpei's faces reflected the same question.
Joe's grin grew wide as he spoke to Ken and Jun. "Well, how would you two like to be married by Elvis, right here and right now?"
"Oh, Ken!" the Swan squealed, as she threw her arms around him.
"Married? Here? Now?" Ken questioned, then without abandon, added, "Sure. What the hell? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?"
Ryu and Jinpei's eyes went wide with shock. Had they heard right? Had Ken just agreed to marry Jun?
Turning to the fake King, Joe asked, "Well, Elvis?"
"I'm not a minister, son…"
Joe reached into his pocket and nonchalantly slid a hundred dollar bill into the man's hand.
"Call me Father Presley…" he responded as he pocketed the money.
"Joe, they can't marry. They don't have a marriage license…." Ryu informed the Condor. Joe shot a glare at the Owl. Why did he have to pick now to become a genius?
Joe slid his hand into the back pocket of his khakis and took out a pink flyer.
"Here you go, Elvis. A bona fide Las Vegas marriage license."
Elvis opened the flyer and smiled.
"Yep, that'll do." he drawled, "Will the lucky couple please step forward?"
Jun grabbed Ken's hand and pulled him closer to the impersonator.
"Here we are!" she gushed.
"Ok, little lady." Elvis addressed Jun. "Tell me, do you take this hunka-hunka burnin' love to be your husband?"
Jun gazed into Ken's glassy eyes.
"I do." she slurred passionately.
Elvis then turned to Ken.
"Don't be cruel now, son. Do you take this woman to be your wife?"
"Love me tender, I do" Ken slurred back.
"May I have the rings, please?" Elvis asked.
"Rings? We don't have any rings." Jun replied, crestfallen.
Joe put his hand in his pocket.
"Actually, we do." he grinned as pulled out two gold wedding bands.
"Joe!" Ryu whispered astonished. "Where'd you get those?"
Joe didn't respond, but instead gave the rings to Elvis, who then gave one to Jun and one to Ken.
"Do you have anything you would like to say to each other?" he asked, looking at Ken.
"Uhhh…" Ken stammered. "With this ring I thee wed… Like a shadow dancing in the sky, like a wing in the sky, my comrade and I."
Elvis shot a confused look at Joe, who could do nothing but shake his head.
"OK… And how about you, little lady?"
Jun reflected for a minute, before taking her comrade by the hand.
"I can't help falling in love with you, Ken. With this ring, I thee wed… You're mine, Eagle!"
Elvis gave Joe another sideways glance.
"Pet name…" the Condor quickly explained.
"By the power vested in me by, uh, Ben Franklin, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the… Oh, nevermind." Elvis concluded as Jun had already grabbed Ken by the collar with both hands and planted a passionate kiss on him.
"Thanks, Elvis." Joe said, finally releasing the entertainer from his misery.
"Thank you. Thank you very much." the impersonator drawled before taking off down the corridor with his ill-gotten gains, not looking back.
"Now what, Joe? If we don't go soon, we're going to miss the girls!" Ryu complained.
"Relax, Ryu. We'll be there soon enough."
Ryu looked at Joe skeptically.
"Honestly, do I need to spell everything out to you?" the Condor growled. "Think about it…What comes after the wedding?"
"The reception!" the Owl answered excitedly.
"After that…"
"The honeymoon!" Jinpei cut in enthusiastically.
"Oh." said Ryu, scratching his head. Then the Owl's face suddenly lit up. "Ohhhhhh!"
"That's right." Joe grinned. Then turning to the newlyweds, whose lips were still locked in a passionate embrace, the Condor called, "Come on, Mr. and Mrs. Washio. Time to get this show on the road…"
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A few minutes later, the five ninjas were standing outside of Jun and Jinpei's room. The Swan was giggling and refused to take her hands off of the Eagle the entire time.
"Give me your room card, Jinpei." Joe ordered.
"What? Why our room? Why not put them in Ken's?" the Swallow griped.
"Because yours is the room number I gave the concierge. And, if we want to go out tonight, we don't have time to move things around. We need to get these two settled and otherwise occupied soon." Joe responded.
"And where am I going to sleep tonight?" Jinpei demanded.
"Who's going to be sleeping tonight?" Joe smirked, while Ryu nodded vigorously.
Joe took the card key from Jinpei's hand.
"Congratulations and best wishes. Enjoy your honeymoon." he bade the newlyweds as he opened the hotel room door and pushed Ken and Jun in. Once the door closed and Joe heard the click of the lock behind them, the Condor, Owl, and Swallow took off for their night on the town.
"One more quick stop, and then we're on our way…" Joe grinned in anticipation.