The next day passed by slowly, Something was wrong with Kit when I arrived to work, But I couldn't pinpoint what. I didn't know him well enough to read the expression in his eyes, or to even attempt to pry into his personal life. He barely spoke, But when he did, his tone was far less cheerful than the day before. Maybe something was going on in his life, or maybe he just didn't like me anymore, that was a possibility. But whatever the case, he stayed in the garage most of the day and I stayed behind the counter, silently reading a book that I would soon be writing an essay on.
Every hour or so, I would move out from behind the counter and walk down the aisles, re-straightening the already straight packages. Sometimes, A car would pull up for gas, But Kit would always go out to help them. Only a handful of times did I get the luxury of ringing someone up on that cash box.
Night came and I left with a light goodbye to Kit. My father asked nothing on the way, not even really acknowledging my presence. That wasn't new, so I really wasn't too concerned about it. I bathed, slipped into bed and fell asleep in record time, a new foreign sense of exhaustion befalling me.
The next week passed painfully slow, nothing eventful happened at school, or at home and I didn't have to go to the station until the weekend. I was bored beyond belief and didn't realize until that moment that I had actually been enjoying my time at the station. It was a nice distraction and a pretty easy escape from home. I began counting the hours, listening to my parents drone on and on during supper. Sometimes I wanted nothing more than to burying my head in the earth and never remove it.
Finally, the earth and I gave a great sigh of relief, as we made our way into a cool windy Saturday. I still had a whole day, but at least there was something to look forward to. I dressed early, making sure to wear my cardigan with the long sleeves, strapped on my boots and then left home. Keeping an eye on my watch, I strolled toward the diner in town and bought myself a nice strong coffee. I didn't make a habit of drinking coffee, But passing the time seemed like a good idea. I didn't understand my need to get to work, why i was waiting for it like Christmas. Sure it presented an escape, A chance to focus on something other than my home life. It was neutral ground. It wasn't my school and it wasn't my home. No one was there to judge me or to come and tell me how wrong I was as a person. I knew it couldn't possibly have anything to do with Kit, I didn't know him well enough and he was twice my age, Plus, what would he want with me anyways?
Those thoughts filled my head as I arrived at the station that afternoon. Making me doubt myself deeply. Maybe there was more to it, Maybe it was about Kit. He was good-looking, and he had that smooth voice, just sweet enough to where it didn't sound like he was attempting to put the moves on you.
Running a hand nervously through my hair, I shook away the thoughts, glancing around curiously when I didn't see Kit waiting for me behind the counter.
"Walker..?"
Nothing came in reply, and I stepped further into the room, Calling out his name here and there. Still nothing. Then I saw them, standing in a corner, a soft smile on the girl's lips, and a concerned look on Kit's. I stood still, staying as quiet as possible, observing from afar as the colored girl gently stroked Kit's cheek, His lips tugging up gently. I shouldn't be watching this, It felt wrong, It felt intimate in strange ways. Plus, I knew this was something I shouldn't know and If it got out that Kit was seeing a colored girl, Well...I was sure it wouldn't end well.
With my hands shaking, I returned to my usual post at the counter. I didn't know what to think. It wasn't about the girl at all. But more, why suddenly I felt a deep hole in my stomach as if I'd been holding something there that I wasn't completely aware of. Some hope maybe? Or maybe the idea of hope, Not quite the actual thing, but the beginning of it. Had I been holding a subconscious hope that maybe Kit could actually find me attractive?
It was laughable really, Now that I faced it. Five minutes passed, and finally, he came into the station, halting when he spotted me. Licking slowly over one full lip, Kit stared for a moment and then smiled, as usual, His expressions moving quickly.
"Hey, Harmon. When did you get here?"
Smiling in returned, I glanced up at him and then continued to blankly stare at my book, doing a terrible job at pretending to read.
"Just a few minutes ago, I figured you were still busy with the car, so I started fixing things up in here, hasn't been busy has it..?"
He looked relieved, and it pained me, more than I expected. He was protecting the girl, and that was understandable, But why was I so affected? I needed to stop. For God's sake, I had only just begun to work there.
"Nah, Same as yesterday, It's a real drag."
I didn't say much to him the rest of the day, just going along with any conversation that he attempted to strike up. At one point, He invited me to go out and help him with the car, But I declined, Mumbling something about having to finish my sweeping. The rest of the night passed in silence, and for the first time since I'd started, I was actually realized to leave that night.