Disclaimer: I own too much stuff but unfortunately HaH isn't one of those things
Author's Note: Don't really know what to say in an author's note when this is a repost other than hope you enjoy and thanks for reading :D

Jenny had never enjoyed flying. She wasn't a nervous flyer by any means, in fact she was a pretty well adjusted at altitude considering. No, Jenny didn't like flying because of what it meant. Flying meant being up rooted and leaving to start again. Flying meant leaving behind friends and experiences, familiarity and safety; wiping the slate clean and having to start over. And once again Jenny was on a plane, travelling at over 400 miles an hour away from the dearest home she'd ever made for herself. It had hurt before, but at least Jenny could live in the knowledge that she'd be making the return journey soon after the funeral.

She closed her eyes and tried to forget. She tried to think of Emma. Tried to think of her smile and her exuberance. Her soft hair and even softer lips. Her hazel eyes that were so often and so unduly filled with worry. Like this morning when Jenny left Emma at the Bergmann's.

Fuck.Even thinking of Emma was filling her with trepidation. Maybe Jenny just had to embrace it. Maybe Jenny and Emma needed this; a little distance, however excruciating it might be. Jenny was sure they'd come out stronger for it. And maybe it was just what Emma needed to be ready. Although being ready isn't exactly the same as wanting to have sex with your girlfriend before someone else of unsavoury background gets in there before you. Of course Jenny had no intention of sleeping with Erika or anyone else for that matter. She was still only just about entertaining the idea of being in the same room as her ex let alone engaging in any kind of intimate activities. And Jenny highly doubted her father would allow Erika to speak two words to her.

He wasn't to know that they'd kept in contact. It wasn't committal and it certainly wasn't often but Jenny knew Erika well enough to know she needed the contact to keep her on the straight and narrow. She needed to know she hadn't permanently damaged the girl she loved, even if she had destroyed their relationship.

Jenny closed her eyes, causing frown lines spread across her forehead. She should know better than to start thinking about it. She missed her best friend. And she wasn't thinking of Emma now.

She missed her presence. That's all. That was all she ever needed. It was never her smile, or her laughter. It was simply her presence. And that's why Jenny was dreading being in the same room as Erika. Not because she was worried Erika would smile and she'd lose it or she'd laugh and they'd be saying hello in one of the many cupboards in Erika's house - but because she hadn't been in her presence since it happened. Jenny was afraid of being with her and it not being the same. And it wouldn't be. She knew that. It's like when you know you've lost that person that you love but it never really hits you until you've buried them in the ground. It was like that with Erika.

She'd felt numb when she left for Cologne. Felt numb for a long time after that. But her mother and father had wanted to see her smiling, so she'd smiled for the Bergmanns, she'd smiled for the students at Pestalozzi. She had to. It's hard enough being the new girl. Jenny couldn't imagine what kind of reception she would have had if she'd turned up stoic and silent. She knew about moving school and she knew ways to adapt. That wasn't one of them.

Jenny hadn't felt anger yet and it scared her to think that's what she would feel when she sees Erika. They'd never even argued before, or Jenny didn't think so anyway. It would make it final. Could it give her the closure she was looking for? Maybe. And that was the only positive Jenny could see coming from this awkward scenario, and she was gripping on to it with dear life. It was her lifeline; that and Emma's smile, her hair, her scent.

When she had her eyes closed like this she could practically taste her lips. Jenny gripped the arms of her chair in frustration but smiled to herself, letting out a small laugh. She was glad she was flying business class otherwise a passenger next to her in coach might have gotten the wrong idea. Actually it would have been the right idea but certainly the wrong time and in the wrong place.

Of course Jenny respected Emma's decision to wait. Although not even Emma had respected that decision the night before, but she wasn't ready and Jenny knew it. Of course that didn't make it any less frustrating.

Jenny stepped off the plane and made her way down the steps onto the tarmac. The crowd before her hurried to the buses, sent to ferry passengers from their isolated spot on the runway to the distant terminal, fleeing from the imminent rain. It was July and it was raining. One of the many things London had in common with Cologne. Although Jenny didn't have need for her coat that was thrown over her arm in case of bad weather. At least both cities had the decency to maintain some warmth when the rain came.

The brunette had only packed a carry on bag so after a quick trip through customs with her British Passport she was in arrivals at Heathrow on the look out for her father's driver. Jenny scoured the crowd but couldn't make out a familiar face; which didn't surprise her really as her father went through drivers like Caro went through facial expressions. With some more searching she came across a short, anxious looking gentleman with thinning silver hair with a sign that read, 'Ms. Hartman,' clutched in his small hands. Ah, my father's next victim. Jenny waved and sent a small smile his way. He seemed to relax a little upon seeing her and nodded his head. "Ms. Hartman, please, right this way. May I take you bag?"

Jenny laughed a little and waved the small man away, "Please, it's Jenny and there's no need." Her words however, seemed to fall on deaf ears as her father's man insisted on taking said bag. Although Jenny had been privy to this kind of treatment before, she'd grown used to its absence and had in fact become happier for it. The independence she'd found in Cologne had been liberating but now she already felt her father's 'my roof, my rules' ethos tightening its grip upon her, quite literally as she stepped into the Country. Jenny supposed she should be grateful to be on the receiving end of such treatment. That didn't mean she had to like it however. This is going to take some getting used to.

The journey from Heathrow to her parent's house in Kingston wasn't long and in 30 minutes she was stood on her doorstep. Her father's driver, or Kenneth as she had discovered, had taken the car round to the back of the house to the garages. Jenny rung the door bell and waited, gripping her bag tightly, anxiously. Her knuckles quickly turned white.

She looked at the paintwork on the door and smiled, shaking her head a little. Looked like her mother had finally managed to persuade her father to have it painted that bright pillar-box read. Jenny recalled her mother pleading with her father for months over it. And every time her mother was answered with a resounding, 'No, Ralph Myers thinks the colour red is for communists, socialists and feminist'. Her mother would then call Mr Myers a philistine and her father would argue, with a wink, that whenever Mr Myers was in attendance, they were all philistines. Jenny had to admit, the red looked good.

Other than the door, it was almost as if nothing had changed. The birds still sang the same song, the swans in the river were nesting just where they had the previous summer and if Jenny closed her eyes she could still here the murmuring of frivolities from the nearby pubs across the river. The rain had dried up and the sun was just and so peaking through the clouds, and Jenny found herself crying as her mother opened the door and gathered her into her arms.

Emma face ached. No, not ached. Emma's face was killing her. Was that possible? She had racked her brain and she couldn't remember ever laughing as hard as she had done in the last 90 minutes.

Emma had protested but Ben had insisted on dragging her to a screening of Airplane at a little cinema he knew on the edges of Hohenzollernring. They'd got popcorn, ice cream, pick 'n' mix; you name it, they'd consumed it and once the film was over they'd just and so managed to roll their way to a small coffee place just down the street.

Ben was looking pleased with himself as Emma recounted yet another one of the skits from the movie. He sipped his espresso and had to be careful not to expel it again when Emma managed to somehow do a spot on Leslie Nielsen. He'd never seen her like this before. It could have been all the sugar they'd consumed, actually it probably was partly to do with all the sugar they'd consumed but Ben hoped it also had something to do with him successfully quelling any fears Emma had about Jenny's hasty departure.

Their laughing eventually petered out and they fell into a comfortable silence, both sipping contentedly at their beverages. Emma noticed Ben frown a little into his coffee as if an unpleasant thought had just crossed his mind. Considering the genuine concern he'd shown for her that day, it seemed only right to for her to ensure he was okay.

"Ben? Is everything okay?" Ben looked up, startled and a smile spread slowly across his face as he realised he'd been caught.

"I'm fine," he said earnestly. "I just…" He hesitated. Emma frowned now and nodded, encouraging him to continue. He sighed but not begrudgingly, and continued, all be it hesitantly. "Emma," he looked her square in the eyes hoping that she would see honesty there, "I didn't know. I would never have…you know with Jenny." He began to ramble. "You said in the car you'd been together for a while and then I thought about Jenny's birthday and I realised, shit, you know? Those two were hooking up and I totally-" Emma reached out and squeezed Ben's hand from across the table. The poor guy looked panicked. Super cool Ben Bergmann falling over his words in front of meek little Emma Muller. How times had changed.

"Ben, you didn't know," she smiled, reassuringly. "I don't blame you. It was both of us. Me and Jenny. We were… I was stupid. You don't need to apolgise – ever. And we weren't 'hooking up' as you call it. We were just..." Emma shrugged and Ben sighed, a sigh of relief now and he raised her hand to his lips and gave it a quick kiss.

"Emma Muller, you are most gracious. And far too merciful." They both laughed then as Emma swatted Ben away. Their laughing didn't cease until the loud buzzing of Emma's phone on the table brought the pair to silence. Emma looked to see the caller I.D. It was Jenny. Ben looked at her meaningfully and she grabbed the phone, bringing it up to her ear in an instant. "Jenny," Emma said, desperately trying hard not to sound like she was painfully missing her already, she failed.

"Hey. I just got in."

"Great. Everything okay with the flight stuff?"

"It was fine," Jenny said. Her voice seemed small and far away. Emma worried.

"Are youokay?" She asked. She heard her girlfriend sigh but could hear the smile in her voice.

"I'm fine. Just got a bit emotional coming home, that's all. I saw my mum and practically bawled my eyes out," now she was laughing down the phone at herself and Emma couldn't help but smile at the sound. Although the words Jenny used, 'coming home,' they irked her, probably more than they should but they did. Emma shook her head to rid the irrational thought from her head.

Ben raised a pair of questioning eyebrows at Emma and with a nod she confirmed that Jenny was doing fine, despite the crazy. "How are you doing? Surviving with out me?" Jenny teased.

"We're good. –"

"We?"

"Ben and I. Ben's been trying to keep me sane, haven't you?"

He laughed, "Not sure if stuffing you full of sugar was the best way to go about it but I think I succeeded."

"Did you hear that?" Emma asked her girlfriend.

"Every word. And if you're a diabetic later in life someone's going to get beat." Emma laughed again warmly. So many of the worries from earlier that morning seemed trivial now at the sound of her girlfriend's voice. She was still somewhere on this rather large earth. Still somewhere, still her girlfriend and still thinking about Emma. And importantly, Jenny was still thinking about their future.

"Look, honey, I have to go. My mum's calling. I have a dinner to go to tonight and mother wants to take me to pick out a new dress. Apparently everything I have here is last, last, last season."

"Gosh, how awful," Emma teased. She actually knew very little about Jenny's parents but from their one and only meeting, that didn't seem like something beyond Jenny's mother's capabilities. And she thought shewas irrational.

Jenny giggled a little and Emma's heart rose in her chest. "I know, the horror," was her girlfriend's response. "Yes mother!" Emma heard Jenny call, slightly muffled as if she'd put the hand over the phone. Not for secrecy, just so Jenny didn't deafen her girlfriend down the phone. "I can wear what I want, I don't care if she's looking," Emma frowned at that one. Who would be looking? And why would her mother care wh… – Her ex. Jenny's ex would be there. Emma's heart that had just soared so high in her chest moments ago had now plummeted. Emma wanted to ask but she also wanted to show how much she trusted her girlfriend. Jenny didn't need Emma fussing and growing jealous. Especially in the circumstances they currently found themselves. So she stayed quiet.

"Anyway. I really have to go," Jenny continued, "I'm glad you're doing okay. Thank Ben for me. Bye babe."

"Bye Jenny, I love y-" But Jenny was gone. The frown that was on Emma's face darkened. She knew she shouldn't read into everything as much as she did. But she found it hard not too. Her girlfriend had been a rush, that was all. She knew Jenny loved her. She loved Jenny. It was fine. This London thing was just temporary and in a week or so Jenny would be back in Cologne and it'd be as if nothing had ever happened.

Ben offered Emma a weak smile. She didn't match it.

Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think :D