(A/N: I do not own the song "Phony King of England"!)
A Friar's Baby Ch. 3
Later that night, Robin and Marian were taking a walk in Sherwood Forest together, hand-in-hand. By the lake, Robin gave Marian a ring made out of a flower with a firefly in the middle. Soon, they stopped at the clearing where the two thieves' hideout was located. "Oh Robin, what a beautiful night," Marian mused, "I wish it would never end." Little did they know, the night was about to get a lot more fun.
"Surprise!" A familiar voice shouted from behind them, making the couple turn around in surprise. Behind the bushes, they saw Friar Tuck with his daughter sitting on his shoulders. "Long live Robin Hood!"
"Yay!" Shenzi cheered.
"Hooray! And long live Maid Marian!" Two tiny mice ran out of the badger's hood, and on top of his head as their goddaughter gazed down at them. The male mouse, who was known as "Sexton Mouse" was clad in a black robe and hat, while his wife was in a long, blue dress with a white apron and bonnet.
"Bravo! Bravo!" The female mouse, known as "Little Sister", cheered.
"Bravo! Hear, hear! Bravo! Bravo! Hooray!" The crowd cheered, as the couple couldn't help but grin.
"And down with that scu-u-urvy Prince John!" Klucky decreed.
"Yeah!" Little John began strumming on his acoustic guitar, before he broke into a fun song.
"Oh, the world will sing of an English king a thousand years from now!" The crowd started dancing to his song, Shenzi jumping off her father's shoulders to do so; She was repeating her godmother's moves.
"And not because he passed some laws,
Or had that lofty brow!
While bonny good King Richard
Leads the great crusade he's on,
We'll all have to slave away
For that good-for-nothin' John!" Marian started dancing with Otto, as other citizens joined in playing music for the song.
"Incredible as he is inept
Whenever the history books are kept
They'll call him the phony king of England!"
"A pox on the phony king of England!" Friar Tuck joined Little John, before he chuckled from the overall excitement. Just then, he was in a hollow tree with a large, gaping hole in the front of the trunk behind a clothesline; They had made a puppet in Prince John's likeness. Friar Tuck fixed the crooked crown, but quickly ducked back down when the audience was playfully booing. But they started laughing soon after, Shenzi clapping one hand over her mouth; Although she was laughing more at her father's hasty exit.
"He sits alone on a giant throne.
Pretendin' he's the king!" Otto entered in with a sock puppet, with a party blower, in Sir Hiss' likeness.
"A little tyke who's rather like.
A puppet on a string!" The two proceeded to perform a humorous puppet show.
" And he throws an angry tantrum
If he cannot have his way!
And then he calls for Mom
While he's suckin' his thumb!" When Friar Tuck imitated Prince John sucking his thumb, the kids cracked up laughing.
"You see, he doesn't wanna play!
Too late to be known as John the First,
He's sure to be known as John the Worst!
A pox on that phony king of England!" Otto accidentally tore up the Prince John puppet in his act, but he and the badger just smiled at the audience. At that, Shenzi fell on her back from laughing so hard, revealing her white bloomers again.
"Lay that country on me, babe!" And with that, Alan-a-Dale started playing a country-style guitar solo.
"Com on, Johnny! Go lad, go! Oh, oh, ooh!" Klucky started dancing with Little John to the music. As Marian boogied with Robin, Shenzi was skipping sideways with her tiny hands in her father's. The citizens of Nottingham were having a wonderful time mocking the greedy, selfish prince! Shenzi was twirled around like a little ballerina as Klucky and Little John were dancing in a silly fashion. While Marian and Robin danced together, Shenzi was kicking her legs with her tiny hands in her father's once again.
"While he taxes us to pieces,
And he robs us of our bread,
King Richard's crown keeps slippin' down around that pointed head!" Little John continued singing, as Marian was dancing with some of the citizens, two of them being Skippy's mother, and Shenzi.
"Ah, but while there is a merry man
In Robin's wily pack!
We'll find a way to make him pay
And steal our money back!" The citizens started clapping to the beat.
"A minute before he knows we're there," The bear looked down at Skippy.
"Old Rob'll snatch his underwear!" When Robin slipped into the prince's full-covering undergarments, the crowd laughed and cheered for him.
"The breezy and uneasy king of England!" The citizens, including the children, started clapping to the music as Marian danced, Little John sang, and Robin played the violin.
"The snivelin', grovelin',
Measly, weaselly,
Blabberin', jabberin',
Jibberin', jabberin',
Plunderin', plottin',
Wheelin', dealin',
Prince John that phony king of England,
Yeah!" Little John laughed with excitement when the song ended. "Man, that's what I call a swingin' party!"
"The most fun I've had in years!" Klucky exclaimed with excitement. Nobody saw the black-haired child walk up to the tree that the rabbits plus Toby were standing by during the puppet show.
"Where'd Shenzi go?" Friar Tuck wondered aloud, as he looked around for his daughter.
"There she is," Robin gestured to the tree.
"Aww, look at her," Skippy's mother smiled at the sleeping toddler, "All tuckered out."
"Looks like all that excitement wore her out," Little John remarked with a smile. Then to everyone's amusement, the child started sucking her thumb in her sleep, with her left hand on her cheek. "Hey, look! She's doing her first Prince John impression!" He pointed out.
"It's much cuter when it's her doing it," Marian remarked with a giggle. "And quieter too."
"I'd better take her home," Friar Tuck lifted her up, and as if she knew who it was, she snuggled into him a bit. "She's had a big day; We all did." After everyone said goodnight to them, he headed for the church, with the sleeping little girl in his arms, and the mice on his shoulders. At one point, she mumbled something about the "phony king", followed by a giggle, effectively amusing him.
"What a cutie," Little Sister whispered, smiling down at the toddler.
"Uh huh," Sexton nodded in agreement; When Friar Tuck first brought Shenzi home after she was born, the mice adored her immediately, almost as much as he did. They also mourned for her mother with him. At that time, he made them her godparents, which they were delighted with. They thought that she was the cutest child they ever laid eyes on, and that thought only grew along with her.
When they arrived, the mice retired into their mousehole for the night, as Friar Tuck headed for the nursery room after Shenzi's hair ribbon was taken out. He went to set her in her bed, but she gripped on his robe with her tiny fingers to prevent it, with her face on his chest. "Now come on," He chuckled, "Don't make this difficult."
"I," She mumbled, making him look down at her, "I lo-oh, ohh..."
"It's alright, Shen," He was able to set her face-up on her bed when her grip loosened. "I know what you're trying to say; And I love you too." He caressed her longer bangs from her face, as she blinked up at him, her eyes drooped sleepily. "G'night, sleep tight." He kissed her forehead, before standing up. When her eyes closed, he gave her soft hair one last, comforting caress, he stood up straight to leave her be; At the doorway, he looked back and smiled at his daughter sleeping peacefully, an adorable smile on her face. She truly was a precious little girl; Again, he couldn't ask for a better child. After another few seconds of watching his daughter, he left the room.
The next morning, Friar Tuck went to see if his daughter was awake; To his surprise, her bed was empty, with her blanket seemingly pulled to the side. "Shenzi?" He called out, "Where are you?" He looked everywhere in her room, where the bell was, and in the main chapel, but had no luck. He looked down upon hearing tiny footsteps, but it was a yawning Sexton Mouse. "Good morning, Sexton," He smiled down at him, before continuing his search.
"Good morning, Friar Tuck," Sexton smiled back, "What are you looking for?" To the badger, he sounded like he knew something that he didn't.
"I'm looking for Shenzi," He explained as he looked among the pews, "Her bed was empty."
"Have you looked in your room?"
"... No," Friar Tuck admitted, "I-I didn't."
"Maybe she's in there," Sexton thought aloud; When he walked back in the mousehole, he stifled his laughter.
Friar Tuck raised an eyebrow at him in confusion, before he slowly walked in his own bedroom. 'What was he laughing about?' He thought to himself, 'Maybe she's in there.' When he came in the room, he still didn't see his daughter, but there were some possible hiding places; Since she was a tiny girl, there were a lot for her. "Okay young lady, I know you're in here," He called out, to see if she would come in plain view. "You can come out now; I promise I'm not mad, just worried." But nothing happened; She didn't come out. "Shenzi?" Nothing. "Sweetheart, I promise I'm not mad at you. Come on out, so I know that you're alright." Still nothing, so he starte looking in any possible places. "Aha!" He exclaimed when he looked under his bed, but she wasn't down there.
"You looking for something?" A female voice surprised him into almost banging his head on the bedboard. He looked, and saw Little Sister in the doorway. She seemed to have the same "I-know-something-you-don't" look that her husband had.
"Y-yeah," He nodded, "I'm looking for Shenzi; Have you seen her?"
"No, I haven't," She shook her head, "But... have you looked in your robes?" She gestured to the small pile of robes on the floor; Due to the heavy taxes, he didn't have anything to hang them up with.
"No, I haven't looked there," He admitted.
"She could be in there," The female mouse shrugged, before she walked away, stifling giggles as she did so. He furrowed his thick eyebrows in confusion at her; What was up with those two? What were they keeping from him? Did they know where his daughter was? If so, why couldn't they just tell him? Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he started pulling his robes up after setting them on his bed, to see if she was under any of them. But he stopped when there was one more left, and he had no luck; There seemed to be a giant lump in it. He smirked upon seeing it; It had to be her. He quickly yanked it up with a playfully devious smile. "Gotcha!" But his eyes widened for a second when she wasn't even there! "What-? Shenzi, where are you?"
But just after he spoke, she fell out of his last robe! "D'woh!" Shenzi safely landed face-up on his bed with a small "Oomph!"
Friar Tuck's devious grin grew back as she looked up at him. "You little sneak." She giggled in response. The skirt of her dress was ridden up from her fall, revealing her bloomers to him, and a little bit of her stomach. "You know how worried I was about you?" Shenzi nodded, her smile remaining. "Then why didn't you come out?" She just shrugged, trying not to laugh. "Then what? Were you afraid of Prince John getting you? Like this?" He smirked; At "this", he teasingly poked her stomach. She flinched and let out a loud giggle, as she shrugged her shoulders to her cheeks; Like any toddler, she was very ticklish. He poked her again, and she covered her stomach with her thin arms, and tried to curl up for protection while giggling some more. "Oh, I'm Prince John!" He playfully exclaimed, "Now I've got you, little Missy!" He grabbed his daughter, and started tickling her.
With a loud squeal, Shenzi burst into a fit of laughter and giggles with her large eyes squeezed shut, as she squirmed and kicked her legs wildly. She let out another, louder squeal when he attacked her most ticklish spots: Under her arms, and on her stomach; Her dark hair was flying in all directions as she thrashed her head all around, her cheeks turning pink. "D-dada, nohohohoho!" She begged, followed by another squeal when he tickled her little armpits.
"I'm not your daddy," He continued playing around with her, "I'm Prince John! And Prince John shows no mercy!" Shenzi let out not a squeal, but a scream, when he blew a raspberry on her stomach after pulling her dress up, while attacking her sides. When he saw tears in her eyes, and how flushed her face was, he decided that she had enough. "Okay, maybe a little mercy." He stopped and pulled her dress back down, as she panted and giggled, while wiping the tears out of her eyes. "You okay, sweetheart?" He asked her, now worried that he had gone a bit too far in the fun.
"U-uh huh," She nodded, before she sat up. Her hair was more frizzy than it was initially, from her thrashing her head, and her cheeks were blushing pink from laughing so hard. Plus she was covering herself with her arms again.
"Let's go see if the mice are awake," Friar Tuck lifted the child up in his arms, as he stood up, "Then we'll go for a little walk in the fresh air." When they walked into the chapel, the mice came out of their hole.
"We knew where she was all along," Sexton confessed, while stifling laughter.
"We're sorry, Friar Tuck," Little Sister giggled, "She didn't want us to tell you where she was."
"It's okay," He chuckled, "It seems like she's taking after her uncles Robin and Little John." Shenzi giggled in response.
"Indeed," Sexton nodded in agreement.
"Well, I'm going to take her for a walk in the fresh air," He told the two mice on the floor.
"You two have fun," Little Sister smiled, "We'll be here if you need us."
"Alright," Friar Tuck nodded, before he headed outside with his young daughter. Even though he had been really worried about her, he couldn't get angry at her; She just wanted to have a little fun, that's all. All that mattered was that she was safe and sound.
"A-ary," She muttered quietly, although he heard her.
"For what, sweetheart?" He asked her, "For hiding?" She nodded with a guilty look. "It's okay, I'm not mad at you. I was just worried that you had gone missing. And I'm glad that you're safe." He kissed her cheek, making a blush and a smile grow on her face.
Before they could do anything else, they heard a dreadfully familiar voice; The Sheriff! They quickly hid out of his sights, but then, they heard him: "He stands alone on a giant throne, pretendin' that he's the king! A little tyke who's rather like a puppet on a string!" Shenzi let out a little giggle, but covered her mouth to muffle it.
"Now I've seen everything," Friar Tuck whispered to her, trying not to laugh himself.
Little did they know, that fun song was going to cause a lot of trouble not only for them, but for all of Nottingham.
(A/N: Uh oh; Things are gonna start going south. O,O You know the disclaimer. By the way, Little John's line "Man, that's what I call a swingin' party!" is from The Jungle Book, and the scene where Shenzi was put to bed is based off a scene from Peter Pan.)
Random Fact about BxB
Disney's Robin Hood is my favorite version of the tale. My two "close calls" are Men in Tights, and the new-ish Tom & Jerry movie.