"Unbelievable!" Draco yelled to his best friend, Blaise Zabini. "Some fag…no offence…"
"None taken," Blaise interjected.
"…wrote a letter to this girl describing my lascivious tactics."
"Any idea who it was?" Blaise asked, looking up from his desk only for a moment.
"Blaise, if I knew who it was that person would be in a momentous amount of pain," Draco explained, pacing his best friend's bedroom.
"Were did the little girl say she was from?" Blaise inquired.
"Surry," Draco replied. "Who the hell do I know in Surry?"
"Cormac McLaggen," Blaise stated simply.
"The Quidditch stud?" Draco thought aloud, considering whether or not McLaggen would have a reason to hate him.
"He's from Surry," Blaise said knowingly. "I wouldn't be surprised if I he was your rat."
"It would make sense," Draco deduced. "McLaggen hates me; I fingered his girlfriend at the Yule Ball last year."
"Yeah…" Blaise said dreamily, "I don't think that bothered him so much."
Draco stopped pacing. "What do you mean?"
"Well," Blaise explained, "Let's just say Cormac likes to chase balls on and off the pitch."
"Oh, are you shitting me?" Draco asked.
"I shit you not," Blaise responded. "He used to sneak into my dorm room drunk every month. We'd go at it for a little while and as soon as he'd come, he'd start freaking out. What are you doing, man? I'm not a fag! If you tell anybody, I'm going to kick your ass! The only reason I let him keep up the charade is because the man has a mouth like a vacuuming charm! Woo."
"Shit! It's too bad he's back in Surry," Draco exclaimed, craving revenge.
"Not anymore," Blaise said in a sing-song voice. "The Gryffindor team started practice last week; he's back in the dorm. He's already owled me for a pillow-kissing session."
Draco patted his friend on the shoulder. "Good for you. Can you arrange a get together on my behalf tonight?"
"I do believe Wizicus is showing tonight," Blaise replied.
"Outstanding," Draco said.
"But don't think this one's not going to cost you," Blaise said, holding out his hand.
Draco dropped a fifty galleon note into Blaise's hand and picked up his friend's camera. "Just make sure your Floo Gate is unlocked. Shall we say the stroke of midnight? No pun intended."
"The stroke of midnight it is," Blaise agreed.
"Outstanding."
"So," Ophelia said to Lavender as they sat in the park. She was brushing Lavender's hair as they picnicked in the park just outside of Diagon Ally. "Rumor has it that you went out on a date with Ernie McMillan. I hear he's very nice."
Lavender shrugged. "He's alright. He kept on talking about this bulimic head case he dumped over the 7th of August."
"Really?" Ophelia asked in an angry tone. "Bulimic head case?"
"Yeah," Lavender said obliviously. "What a loser she must have….Ouch!"
Ophelia interrupted her with a sharp tug of the hair brush. "Sorry."
"Any who, Ernie's invited me to Wales for Labor Day weekend," Lavender said.
"That's great," Ophelia smiled.
"You think so?" Lavender asked as she sat up strait. "I don't know, I guess I'm just scared."
Ophelia furrowed her brow. "Of what?"
"Obviously, boys! I've never even gotten to first base with a guy."
Ophelia was taken aback. "Haven't you ever practiced on one of your girl friends?"
"Eww! No," exclaimed Lavender, "that's gross."
"It's not gross," Ophelia said with a laugh. "How else do you think girls learn?" She turned Lavender toward her. "Now, face me and close your eyes and wet your lips."
Lavender gaped. "Are you for real?"
"Do you want to learn or not?" Ophelia asked in a dry tone.
"I guess," Lavender muttered. She did as she was told and closed her eyes. Ophelia leaned in and lightly planted a soft kiss on her protégé's lips.
"See, that wasn't so scary," she said.
"It was nothing," Lavender said in a much more chipper tone.
"Okay, let's try it again," Ophelia said talking Lavender through it. "Only this time, I'm going to stick my tongue in your mouth. When I do that I want you to message my tongue with yours…and that's what first base is."
Lavender nodded. "Okay."
"Eyes closed," Ophelia reminded her. Lavender closed her eyes, and slowly Ophelia planted another kiss on her. Lavender urgently slid her tongue into her mentor's mouth. Ophelia lightly wrestled Lavender's tongue, and then she broke the kiss. Lavender leaned forward, craving more contact.
"Not bad," she said, leaning away from Lavender who was still leaning in with closed eyes.
"That was cool," Lavender said in a gravelly voice.
Ophelia poured herself a glass of sparkling water and said, "Maybe you should try it on your friend Ronald some time."
Lavender's eyes flashed open. "What are you saying?" she asked.
"Oh, Lavender, it's obvious he's crazy about you," she replied with a wave of her hand.
"He sends me letters, you know," Lavender whispered. "Love letters."
"That's so romantic!" Ophelia cried. "Have you responded?"
Lavender shook her head.
"Well, don't you like him?" Ophelia asked.
"I do like him," Lavender cried. "I think about him all the time. I don't know what to do. If my mother found out she would kill me!"
Ophelia got a stern look on her face. "You did hide the letters, right?"
"In an antique dollhouse in my room," Lavender whispered.
"Okay, what I want you to do is make copies of the letters and bring them to me.
"Why?" Lavender asked.
Ophelia grinned. "Because if there is one think I'm great at, it's love letters. With my help, Ron will be eating out of the palm of your hand. Maybe we could even arrange a little get together for the two of you at my house."
Lavender smiled widely. "You'd do that for me?"
"Of course, silly," Ophelia said happily. "We're friends, right?"
"Best friends!" Lavender announced. "Do you want to have a sleep over?"
Ophelia frowned.