Cole was trying to ignore the rumbling in his stomach, but the smell of whatever Connor was cooking was starting to get to him. It was most definitely garlic. Followed by a bunch of other good smells that made him crave something more substantial than a pop tart, but he'd rather sit there and starve to death than give in to Connor's culinary crusade.
He attempted to distract himself with an article on new updates coming to his favorite video game, and when that didn't work, he even tried cleaning his room. Eventually, he broke and decided to head out to the kitchen. Not to get food of course, just to tell Connor off for cooking even though he said he didn't want anything… then maybe he'd grab a slice of pizza. If Connor had a problem with that he knew exactly where to tell him to stick his nutrition facts.
He could see Connor standing at the stove with a pot and pan steaming away. There was also a cutting board with carrot scraps on the counter to his right. The sleeves of his dad's sweatshirt were rolled up to the deviant's elbows. "I thought I told you I didn't want anything," Cole said with his arms crossed. Connor didn't even acknowledge him. He continued stirring the pan in front of him as if he hadn't heard Cole.
"Oh what, you're just gonna give me the silent treatment?" There was still no response from the android. Cole clenched his hands into fists. "You know you're a real jerk, and I'd know, I've met a lot of jerks but you… you come into our house, you nearly make me piss my pants and now you… you're... HEY!"
Anger was burning in his chest. He stomped across the kitchen to where Connor was standing. "Stop ignoring me!" he yelled, roughly grabbing the surgeon by the arm. Connor flinched from the sudden contact. The look of shock only lasted for a second before being replaced by a pleasant smile when he realized it was only Cole.
"sorry, did you say something? I couldn't hear you. I was listening to music." Connor said.
'What? Listening? To music? Deviants like music?' he wonders. 'Wait, do all deviants like music, or just this weirdo?'
"Did you need something?" Connor asked.
Cole stopped pondering and shifted his focus back to being angry. "What are you doing?"
"Cooking," Connor said as if it weren't obvious.
"I'm not hungry."
Connor glanced down at his creation then back up at Cole. "Well then, don't eat it," Connor said with a small shrug before returning his attention back to the pots. Cole stood on his toes to see over Connor's shoulders to try and get a better look at what he was making. The larger pot had some kind of white sauce speckled with different herbs. Connor had a spatula in the sauté pan, which has a mixture of bright green peas, small angularly cut carrots, and chunks of chicken. Chicken pot pie?
"Where did you get that stuff?" Cole asked knowing full well that there was nothing green in their fridge.
"I ordered it from a local food delivery service." Cole raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "Don't worry. The delivery was automated, so no one saw me."
"Yeah but… how did you pay for it?"
"The service already had your dad's credit card on file." Cole remembered his dad signing them up for that, 'order you're shit online and have it delivered' thing. He could only recall them using it once or twice. Pizza delivery worked just as well after all.
"Did you tell dad you were doing that?"
"No. I wanted it to be a surprise." Connor said with a bright smile. He picked up the sauté pan and began to scrape its contents into the pot. He blended them into the thick sauce with the spatula.
"So, you stole from him?"
"Stole?" Connor froze mid stir. "No. It's not stealing. I can't eat. I got this for you and your dad." Connor explained, his worried eyes glued to Cole.
"You took something without asking. That's literally the definition of stealing."
"I…" Connor's gleeful expression was gone and replaced with one of distress. "I didn't intend to steal from your dad. I just wanted," he paused, staring off pensively for a moment. "I'll apologize when he comes home."
Cole thought the way he hung his head low was kind of overdramatic. He knew his dad wouldn't really care. His dad loved chicken pot pie, he loved not having to cook and for whatever reason, he seemed to really like Connor. Still, it was good to know the android could feel remorse. In fact, he kind of reminded Cole of the look Sumo gave him when the big mutt ate his tenth birthday cake.
"Can you help me?" Connor asked opening one of the drawers and pulling out a soup spoon. "I do not have the ability to taste things. Will you tell me if it's good?" he said offering Cole a hearty scoop of the pie filling. Cole apprehensively took the spoon. He blew on it until it stopped steaming then popped it into his mouth.
It was definitely better than any frozen pot pie he had ever had, it might have been better than anything he's ever had in a restaurant. The chicken and vegetables were soft but not too mushy. If he had a grandma this was what he imagined grandma's cooking would taste like. It was absolutely delicious, but he was not going to admit that to Connor.
"Yeah, it's, it's alright," he said lying through his teeth. "Maybe some more, salt."
"Your dad's blood pressure is above the preferred range for his age. It's best if he avoids heavily salted foods."
"Be sure to tell him that. I'm sure he'll love it." Cole grinned at the thought of his dad making that face he always got when people called him Mister. He absentmindedly raised his spoon back to the pot for another bite. Before it could reach the surface of the sauce it was knocked away by Connor's spatula.
"I thought you said you weren't hungry?" Connor said with a small smirk playing at his lips.
"Well, I changed my mind." He attempted to go for it again but Connor blocked him just like before. The surgeon was faster than a striking snake. "Hey," Cole shouted.
Oh, it was on now. He raised the spoon to eye level brandishing it like a knight with a sword. Connor stood in front of the pot and mirrored Cole's stance. His spatula held tightly in his hand ready to defend his work. Cole jabbed at Connor but the android's superhuman reflexes swatted it away in a blur. 'Damn, his weapon has more reach than mine. I'll have to outsmart him.'
He attempted a fake out move by crossing high only to dip low. Connor couldn't block him but he was able to jump back just enough to avoid the blow. Every one of his flourished strikes was reposted by Connor's unbreakable defense.
He felt like he was in that old movie his dad made him watch. The one with the princess and the giant rats. 'How did that line go again? Something, something, you killed my father, prepare to die.'
With every clatter of the utensils and theatrical grunt, the smile on Cole's face grew until he was full on beaming. He adjusted his target and tilted the spoon, hitting Connor so hard in the knuckles he drops his weapon. A dirty move? Perhaps, but this was his castle and he would do whatever he needed to defend it. Disarmed, Connor put his hands up in surrender.
"Alright you win, but that's for dinner," he said gesturing to the pot with his head. "How about I make you a sandwich instead?"
Cole couldn't quite shake the feeling that Connor let him win, but his noisy stomach was making him feel kind of indifferent. A sandwich did sound really good. "Sure," he mumbled, trying to sound as apathetic as he could.
After turning off the heat under the pie mixture and washing off his spatula Connor started to assemble Cole's victories sandwich. Cole hopped up to sit on the counter next to where Connor was working. Normally his dad would yell at him not to do that, but Cole liked being at eye level with people and being as short as he was this was the best way.
Connor placed two slices of dark brown bread into the toaster. It had a bunch of weird seeds and stuff in it which would have normally made him gag, but the smell it gave off as it toasted was slightly sweet.
"Hey, were you really listening to music just now. Like without headphones or anything." Cole asked while watching Connor chop at the head of lettuce.
"Correct."
"Shit, wish I could do that." He spaced out for a bit thinking about all the times having invisible noise canceling headphones would be kick ass. School obviously, or any time his dad started going on about how much better it was to grow up at the turn of the millennia.
"What types of music do you like?" the android asked.
Cole narrowed his eyes at Connor. "What's it to ya?" he grumbled. Connor was getting overly friendly, and Cole wasn't having any of that. He slid off the counter and headed off to the living room.
Cole didn't normally like watching tv. He preferred video games, but he'd need his hands free if he was going to be eating. "TV on," he said as he plopped down on the floor in front of the tv.
The television flicked on revealing the cooking channel. "Ick, change to channel one-seven-seven." The tv changed over to highlights from last night's gears game. Even though Cole had long since given up on his dream of becoming a star player when he grew up, he still loved watching basketball. It was also nice to have something he and his dad still had in common.
Connor gently placed the plate down on the floor next to Cole, then took a seat on the couch behind him. Cole cautiously lifted the top bread slice to check the sandwich for sawblades. 'Can't be too sure. Androids and their sick sense of humor.' No sawblades, just lettuce, tomato, pickles, turkey and cheese.
'So, I've gotten him to walk the dog and cook me food,' Cole thought as he chewed away at his lunch. He was no longer listening to the sportscasters on tv. 'Guess he's not so bad to have around. I bet I can trick him into emptying the dishwasher too. If only he could do my homework, then he'd… No. It doesn't matter. He's not staying. Dad said he was leaving tonight... Whatever.'
He was finishing up his last few bites of crust when he heard a strange metallic ringing coming from behind him. He turned around and saw Connor repeatedly flipping a quarter into the air. He was staring forward as if his hands were operating on their own.
"What are you doing?" Cole asked watching the dexterous droid catch the falling coin on the tip of his first finger, spinning it around a few times before guiding it to his middle finger.
"It helps distract me," Connor said still not moving his affixed stare or placid face.
"Well knock it off, it's annoying." Despite his words, Cole could not take his eyes off the shiny circle dancing across his fingers. Connor ignored his demand and continued his routine. He held out his arms and then, as if he was a master of gravity, he sent the coin flying from one hand only to be caught between the first two fingers of the other.
"Wow," Cole unintentionally uttered out loud.
"I could teach you if you'd like," Connor said smiling.
"No thanks," Cole said rudely. He returned his attention back to the tv for only a few seconds before turning back to ask: "Is it hard?" He thought about how everyone in his class went gaga over Niles Turner and his lame ass water bottle tricks and how this was way cooler.
"It takes practice."
After a good twenty minutes of "practice", Cole was starting to get frustrated. His flicking muscles were hurting and he didn't feel like he was making any progress. The only thing that kept him going was the idea of impressing his classmates. Seventh grade was a war zone but having a fun quirky habit normally kept you from the front lines. He was really counting on being able to show this off to them, particularly the girls, or maybe just one particular girl.
"You almost got it. Just tilt your hand nine degrees higher," Connor instructed. He was standing shoulder to shoulder with Cole, trying to demonstrate with his own hands what to do.
"I'm not a fricking protractor dick head. I can't just..." The coin missed his fingers again. It hit the floor and then rolled underneath the couch. He was about to shout the worst swear word at his disposal when the sound of the doorbell ringing made him freeze up.
"Is that your father?" Connor asked quietly.
"You idiot, why would my dad ring the doorbell," Cole manage to whisper and yell simultaneously. Connor just stood perfectly still with a deer in the headlights look on his face. "Well, what are you waiting for, go hide." He jerked his head towards their bedrooms. The android took off down the hall while Cole made his way to the front door.
'It's fine, it's fine, it's probably no one.' He took a few deep breaths, trying to get his heart to slow down.
When he opened the door he found him self face to face with two DPD officers, one human and one android. The human he recognized, though he wished he didn't, as detective Gavin Reed. No, not a detective anymore. He had been promoted to a sergeant a while back. He knew that because he remembered his dad grumbling about how the jerk needed a therapist, not a promotion. The two had the misfortune of having to interact with each other more than a handful of times. He even babysat for him once. Cole got gum in his hair, his dad was so proud.
The android, on the other hand, was one Cole had never seen before. He had spent enough time at the precinct to have seen all the different models of androids they had there, but he had never seen this thing before. It was intimidatingly tall, but maybe that was its stupid 80's popped collar nightmare jacket giving off that perception. The word RK-900 was embroidered on its jacket above its pocket. It stared at him intently with focused eyes undoubtedly scanning him. When it was finished it shifted into an approachable smile. "Good afternoon young man. My name is-"
"You can skip the Pleasantries RK," Gavin interrupted, "this is Cole, he's Anderson's kid."
Cole was terrified. There was no way these two were here to see his dad. They were clearly looking for deviants. 'It's ok, it's ok. Time to break out the Cole Anderson's five easy steps to getting people you don't like to leave you the hell alone.'
"Hey there, Richard," Cole said cheerfully.
"Very funny kid. You know my name is Gavin," the man snapped.
"Oh right, sorry. I just saw your face and thought you kind of looked like a dick." He had heard that line in a movie and had been waiting for a chance to use it. 'Step one - insult them.'
"You fucking little-" the RK-900 cleared its throat, effectively shutting Gavin up.
"We're here investigating a report of a suspected deviant in the area," the android said formally. "Have you seen anyone that looks like this?" It held out its hand and projected a picture of Connor's goofy face across its palm. Cole's heart dropped. "It escaped from a hospital across town last night but witnesses claimed to have seen it walking a dog around this neighborhood this morning at approximately 11:30 a.m."
"Can't say that I have," Cole said trying to seem as calm and collected as he could. He knew all the tells they'd be looking for so he was trying his best not to show them. He didn't fidget or look away from them, but there was nothing he could do about the stripe of sweat forming at his hairline. "But then again I'm one of those shut-in kids so, I don't see anything except my computer screen. Maybe you should try asking the old ladies who are always power walking around here." 'Step two - direct their attention somewhere else.'
"We did, they said they saw it walking a st. bernard. Very distinct breed isn't it? Now if I recall you and your father own one of those, don't you?" Gavin said with a sickening amount of arrogance in his voice.
"Yeah... yeah we did, but he died last month," Cole squeaked looking at the two with sad eyes. Unfortunately, at that moment Sumo let out a deep bark as if to say 'hey, no I didn't'. "Ummm… which is why we got a new dog. We call him... Samurai... he's a... wolf… hound." Cole fumbled, trying to make a functioning statement. He never knew he was so bad under pressure. "I should shut this door to make sure he doesn't get out. Stay Samurai." He called to the imaginary dog before stepping on to the porch and shutting the door behind him.
"Actually we were wondering if we could come inside and have a look around," Gavin said.
"Do you have a warrant?" Cole asked knowing full well they didn't. He didn't need to be the son of a cop to know that trick.
"No, but-"
"Then I'm gonna have to kindly ask you to screw off," Cole said with a smirk. He was attempting to implement step number three, 'unsettling amount of eye contact' by staring down the android but its dark eyes and daunting height was making him uneasy, so he switched his target to the human. "Why don't you and your plastic boyfriend go bug somebody else."
"If you were my kid I'd teach you not to talk like that the hard way," Gavin sneared.
"Sergeant, please," RK-900 said. Gavin glared at the android as if it just insulted his mother. Cole took their little standoff as an opportunity to implement step number four, 'stand your ground.'
"How about I give you two lovebirds to the count of ten to get off my property before I call Fowler and tell him you two are wasting time pestering your superior's son." He pulled out his phone, then pretended to be searching through his contacts. He didn't actually have the captain's number but he was counting on them not calling that bluff.
The RK-900 knelt down to get on Cole's level. He was unsure whether it did this to emasculate him or in an attempt to get him to empathise but to Cole, it felt like the former.
"Listen, I know your father has an... affinity for androids," it said softly. "I'm sure he was just trying to help this deviant. If you tell us where it is we won't tell anyone we found it here. We'll say we found it on the street somewhere. I promise neither you or your dad will get in trouble." If Cole was born the son of a banker or plumber he might have been dumb enough to fall for that, but he was the son of the greatest cop in DPD history. He knew these two would say anything to get what they wanted and much like his dad, their promises were just empty words.
"I don't know what to tell ya, it's not here. What would we even want with an android surgeon anyway. Now if it were one of those butler types that would be cool, then I wouldn't need to do my chores and…" Cole trailed off when he saw the crooked smile spreading across Gavin's face.
"Funny, we didn't say it was a surgeon. Did we RK?" he said to his partner.
'SHIT!'
"No," the RK-900 said returning to its full height. "I had stated that it originated from a hospital but I did not specify its function."
"You didn't have to, that's an ACIURGY-8000 right? I'll always remember that android's stupid face." Cole raised his shirt revealing the pronounced scar that ran from his collarbone to his belly button. "One of them sliced me up good. I lived but the damn plastic totally botched it. Took years of physical therapy just to get me to the point where I can do anything remotely physical without going into cardiac arrest." 'Step five - make them visibly uncomfortable.' " If I ever saw it again I'd pull its blood pumpy thing out of its chest and make it-"
"All right, all right kid. Chill the fuck out, and put your shirt down for god sake." Gavin shoved his hands into his jacket pockets before turning to the android. "Come on RK, we still got the rest of this shitty neighborhood to sweep." He was turning to leave but the RK-900 did not follow.
"Sergeant, I think -"
"Hey." Gavin grabbed the android by its ridiculous collar. The sergeant was inches from its face, snarling like a crazed animal but the android's expression stayed steady as did its LED. "What more do I have to do to get it through your thick plastic skull. I am in charge. That means when I say shut the fuck up, you shut the fuck up, when I say get me a coffee, you get me a coffee and when I say we're leaving, then we're fucking leaving." He released his grasp and began to walk down their driveway to the police cruiser parked there. The RK-900 adjusted its tie and collar before fixing Cole with one last knowing gaze.
"Have a nice day Mr. Anderson." Cole frowned now understanding why his dad hated that so much.
'That's right turtleneck. Just keep walking. Nothing to see here.' He thought as he watched it followed Gavin to the car. He waited until he heard the cruiser's engine start before rushing back inside.
Once inside he leaned back against the door and started breathing deeply trying to bring his heart rate back to normal. As if on cue, Sumo trotted over to comfort him. 'It's fine, it's fine, they're gone. You did it. It's fine.' He repeated over and over in his head as he ran his fingers through the soft fur of his dog. He was cursing under his breath when Connor came around the corner.
"Are you ok?" Connor asked nervously.
"Just peachy, how 'bout you?" he said with his eyes closed while rubbing his chest. He was being sarcastic but Connor didn't seem to get that.
"I… I was scared," he said shakily. Cole looked up at Connor whose eyes were red as if he'd been crying, but androids didn't cry, did they? "I calculated a 96% chance of you taking the deviant hunter's offer," the android whimpered.
"Yeah, well, you didn't factor in that I'm not a snitch."
Before Cole could even blink Connor had rushed over to him and thrown his arms around his shoulders clutching on to him as if his life depended on it. He pushed Cole's head against his chest where he could hear his thirium pump making a steady thrumming sound. "Thank you," Connor whispered.
"Get off me," Cole growled pushing the deviant away from him like he had some sort of infectious disease. "Look, I didn't do it for you. I did it to keep me and my dad safe. That whole 'confess and I'll go easy on you' line is a bunch of bullshit, dad's always pulling it on me." Plus, if he did let those two take Connor, his dad would never forgive him. It'd be Cole for Christmas for the rest of his life.
"Well, whatever your motivation was, you saved me so I am grateful," Connor said with a soft smile. "Although," his eyebrows knit together in a look of disappointment, "I don't approve of your language."
"Approve this," Cole said flipping him off again.
"No I will not."