Amber_18's Fan Fiction "A Walk to Remember"

"The Moment That I Saw You Cry"

Chapter 4

My wife died on September 12, 1996. She was eighteen years old.

She was a member of the Red Cross. She loved stars and witnessing nature's miracles. She was a part of the Drama Club for four years. On the weekends, she was Andrea's tutor and helped her get straight A's in all of her classes. A group of people, myself included, made fun of her in school. But she still smiled and walked with her head high. The days before her death, everyone that had scrutinized her came by and apologized. She told every one of them that she had forgiven them before they came through her door. She loved to read.

She was a part of the First Baptist Church of Beaufort choir. Some people thought her voice sounded like an angel. She wrote music and frequently performed her songs of prayer in church. She was her father's pride and joy. She graduated with honors. She was the only beauty in my life and made me want to be a better person. I loved her more than I thought I could love another person. She mended my relationship with my father, she gave me goals and she showed me that God works in mysterious ways. He brought Jamie to me, to change me. Then He yanked her away.

Her funeral was on the weekend after her death. We notified the funeral parlor the day after she passed away and they took her from the coroner's office. She was dressed in a white dress with long sleeves and a v-neck. They painted some blush on her cheeks, some mascara on her lashes. The make-up artist put a little gloss on her lips. Her long brown hair was curled, like in the play. The day before her funeral when she was on display in the parlor, I stayed all day. I tried to memorize every mole, every curve of her cheeks and how many lashes she had on every eyelid. I squinted, as to freeze her image in my mind. For a couple hours, I couldn't stop staring at her wedding ring. I looked at mine and then at hers.

I loved her so much. But it was just her body lying there in the parlor. I didn't see Jamie; it was just her body. Her smile wasn't there, her dark brown eyes that seemed to glow wasn't there. She couldn't tell me she loved me.

Her funeral was on a Saturday. That day I woke up, not from a deep sleep but from a rest. I hadn't been able to sleep soundly for a month. The suit I was supposed to wear was hanging up from a chair. I was at home again. I looked around, trying to stop myself from wishing. I wished that this were the day after I committed the prank. I wished I could go to school, get ordered to do the play and tutor. But, I was going to her funeral.

I dressed in the black suit and shiny black shoes. I put a little gel in my hair. I straightened my black tie and I walked down the stairs. My mother was dressed in black also. She was placing two plates on either side of the table. As I turned the corner, my father was sitting there.

I stepped back. I was in amazement. My parents hadn't been in the same room since the divorce.

"Hi, Landon," My father said as he stood up and stepped toward me, unsure if he should give me a hug or not. I stepped toward him too and wrapped my arms around my dad. I tried to hold back the tears, remembering the last time I hugged him. I was so distraught over Jamie and I still was. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I sat down at the table.

"Hi, honey," My mom said as she scooped some eggs on to my plate. I raised my hand to stop her from putting them on my plate.

"No, thanks."

"Honey, you have to eat. You haven't eaten a descent meal since Reverend Sullivan took you to the steak house and forced you to eat a prime rib meal by putting the fear of God into you. Do I have to use the line, Landon?"

"No, Mom. I already know that Jamie would want me to eat and be healthy. I'm just not hungry."

"Son," My father said as his hard stare looked at me. "You must eat something. If you don't eat anything, you're going to feel worse than you already do. Eat some eggs, please."

I picked up my fork and took a couple bites of the eggs. As the food entered my mouth, I hadn't realized how long it had been since I ate last. I finished the plate and drank some orange juice.

"It starts at noon. We should get going," My mother said as she grabbed her black coat and started toward the door. My father waited for me. He put his arm around me as we walked out the door toward his Mercedes. We climbed in and drove to the cemetery. It was the same cemetery that Jamie and I had spent so many hours gazing at stars and talking. She was going to be buried in the plot next to her mother. Before she died, I purchased a double plot next toward Reverend Sullivan's and Leah Sullivan's. When I died, I would be buried next to Jamie.

There were already a few people around the plot. I walked through the iron gates and the trees seemed to move in slow motion. The trees were already turning golden and red and the leaves flowed to the ground. I knew where Jamie's plot was; I find it with my eyes closed. I was going to be a pallbearer, along with my dad, Reverend Sullivan, Eric, Dean, and Eddie Zimmerhoff. It was eleven forty-five and not many people were here. I wanted Jamie to see from heaven that she was loved, that people cared to come to her funeral. Eric and Dean came through the iron gates with Belinda and Traci. They said nothing to me as they hugged me, one by one. Traci and Belinda both gave me kisses on my cheek. Five minutes before the funeral was supposed to start, I heard sound from the cemetery's parking lot. I looked up and saw fifteen cars pulling up. I saw classmates, townspeople, and teachers pulling up. There were about fifty people coming through the gates to witness the burial of my beloved.

I smiled and tears filled my eyes. Each one greeted Reverend Sullivan and me. All of them gave me a hug. All the tutoring kids from Beaufort High's sister school came. Jamie deserved this. I looked over the hill and I saw the Hearst arrive. Everyone was silent as all the pallbearers walked in two uniformed lines toward the Hearst. We reached it and opened it. The coffin was white and glossy. My Jamie was in it. Each of us picked up a handle and walked toward the plot. We walked slowly, almost to keep Jamie with us longer.

We placed the coffin on the stand and Reverend Sullivan took a position.

"Thank you for coming. Landon and I are very grateful to all of you for coming and remembering my daughter, Jamie Elizabeth Sullivan Carter. Jamie was born on April 13, 1978 in Beaufort North Carolina…." My mind drifted away from what my father-in-law was saying. I thought about the first time that I saw her. I was in kindergarten, and this little girl with dark pigtails came in. She had bible quotes memorized and was always polite and considerate to everyone in the class. I remembered the first time I kissed her. I remember the first time I held her….